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How To Become Friends With A Guy (19 Fab And Real Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

If you want to know how to become friends with guys, you’re in luck because we are going to discuss that very thing today! A guy friend can be such a valuable friendship to have in your life. They give you insight that a girl just cannot give since she only sees one side of a relationship. Like you, a girl is just one part of a couple, so it’s good to have a guy friend’s point of view!

When you build friendships with guys, you can talk to them about anything! Just remember the Rules and don’t flirt too much, or he’ll have the wrong idea about your intentions for the friendship. If you follow the Rules, you will also be able to know how to play hard to get a little bit. This can be valuable for friendships and romantic relationships, so check it out!

Remember that friendships with guys are not the same as girls. We’ll cover the best ways to gain guy friends today, but just be cautious with the flirting and activities you do to get the guy’s attention. You don’t want him to think romance is in the air if there is no chance of that happening! Your friendship would forever be changed! 

19 Ways To Be Friends With Guys

1. Accept his friends

accept his friends

A guy usually has friends and needs his time with his guy friends, so don’t be too needy or desperate as you embark on this journey of friendship with a guy. Make sure you give him any time he needs for the guys. Keep in mind that some guys don’t have any friends, so it can be a blessing that he does. This way, he doesn’t put everything on you.

If he didn’t have friends outside of your friendship, you might find him to be needy. He’d want to spend all of his time with you and expect you to meet all of his needs, so it’s a plus that he’s got guy friends. Encourage his guy friendships and let him do what he needs to do. Remember the Rules and play a little hard to get.

Guys appreciate girls who can stand on their own feet - women who have interests outside of their relationship. Embrace your passions and enjoy them by yourself or with your girl friends. 

2. Avoid physical touch

When you first start a friendship with a guy, you don’t want to give him the wrong idea. Wait until you’ve reached that comfort level before giving him a hug or doing anything physical. If you only want this guy to be a friend, you should not touch him until the status of your friendship is clear. Have a talk about your expectations. 

3. Set boundaries

Make sure you talk to your guy friends about your boundaries. They need to know how much personal space you need, how much time you need for your plans with the girls, what and when they can touch your belongings, and how much alone time you require. Everyone has boundaries, but it takes the right conversation to get the message out.

It’s important that your guy friend is clear about your intentions and expectations so that he knows what to say and do. If you have decided you will never date him, you need to have a conversation about that. 

4. Spend time in group activities

Making plans to hang out in groups is a great idea! This can help the guys know that you enjoy being around other people and don’t expect them to meet your every need. If you want to be involved in a friendship with a guy, it may be best to do things in groups at first, so you can get to know him and give him a chance to get to know you as well.

5. Watch the flirting

It’s so natural and easy to flirt with guys for some girls. If you enjoy flirting with guys, make sure you don’t overdo it with your new friend. He’ll think you are interested in him romantically and want something more than you really do! If you don’t have a romantic interest, make sure you have a conversation about that. 

6. Talk about his interests

It’s important that not all conversations surround topics that interest you; you want to show that you have diverse interests. Make plans to do things you would not normally do. For example, take a cooking class to show him you are interested in cooking if that is a passion of his. Be interested in the things he likes.

7. Listen

Being a good listener is a crucial part of any friendship. If you just talk about yourself all the time or interrupt the other person when they are talking, you won’t make or keep many friends. People like to know they are heard and that the other person is paying attention to them. Pay close attention when he talks to show you care.

8. Be yourself

Always be yourself around everyone. There’s no point in pretending to be someone you aren’t because the truth about who you are will come out eventually. Make sure you show your best side when you first are trying to befriend someone. That way, they’ll see the pros and like you - something that will help you out in the long run.

9. Care about his well-being

care about his well-being

If your new friend gets sick, make sure you are a good friend to him and take care of him. If he’s struggling with diabetes or another illness, be understanding and listen to him when he talks about his problems. You want him to listen to you, right? It’s important that you treat him the way you want to be treated! Wouldn't you agree?

10. Don’t ask for advice about dating

When you first start being friends with a guy, you don’t need to ask him for dating advice. This can be off-putting and unappealing. Instead, just talk about light and breezy topics. Let this topic come out naturally later on.

11. Be encouraging

If you want to be a good friend and keep the friendship for a long time, it’s important that you are an encouragement to your friend. If he needs advice, be a good listener. If he needs help moving, offer a lending hand. Show him that you are reliable and that you care by your actions. If you don’t know much about encouragement, here’s a lesson.

To be an encouraging person, you need to do things that are encouraging. That may sound confusing and unhelpful, but here are a few ideas of things you can do to show you care and that the person means a lot to you. Wash his care, lend him a book, buy him a present (like a coffee mug or thermos), or tell him an inspirational story.

You could even read up on some motivational quotes or Bible verses and share those with him to make sure he knows that you are there for him. You want him to view you as a good friend, so be one!

12. Stick up for him

If you are in a group setting and someone makes fun of him, ensure that you stand up for him and defend his honor. If he makes fun of himself, defend him then, too! Always be there to be an encouraging force in his ear.

13. Be cautious about giving him advice

When you first become friends with a guy, you don’t want to turn him off by being too bossy or controlling. If he doesn’t ask for your advice, keep your mouth shut and just be a good listener. Trust me; if he wants your opinion, he’ll ask for it. This way, he will know that he can freely open up to you without judgment or persecution.

14. Be honest

Being truthful and trustworthy are very important characteristics of friendships. You’ll want to show him that you can be trusted with his secrets and that you are willing to share your secrets with him because you trust him. Having it go both ways is critical for a healthy friendship, so feel free to share with him what you want to.

15. Share your passions

Speaking of sharing, you would want to share your passions with this guy. You want him to know that you are passionate about certain topics so that he will get to know you and know what sort of things rile you up. He will probably want to share things like that with you, as well. Together, over time, you’ll get to know one another better!

16. Know what you want to talk about

If you are just starting a friendship with a guy, you may be shy or a little insecure when it comes to knowing what to talk about. You can discuss anything, but if you get a little dry when you are around him, go ahead and come up with a list of topics that interest you or him (if you know) ahead of time. Memorize the list and destroy it!! 🙂

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17. Let him down easy

If your new friend gets the wrong idea and makes a move on you, don’t act completely disgusted and push him away. You don’t need to be rude about it; just let him down gently. You may need to make things a little clearer - your expectations and what you want out of the relationship. If you only want friendship, just say so.

18. Be okay if the status of the relationship changes

Later, you may develop romantic feelings for this guy! You really never know. The man who is my husband today was my guy pal before we were involved romantically. I never thought we’d be more than friends or anything like that. I just wasn’t attracted to him in that way. I let him know those were my intentions, too, so he wouldn’t think otherwise.

However, I later grew an attraction to him because of his personality and attitude. He became very appealing over time, and we have now been married for over 7 years! I’m just saying that you never know how things are going to turn out in the long run, so just go with it if things change between you and this guy. It’s okay to change things!!

19. Be clear about where things are going

The last thing you want to do is to mislead the poor man and make him think that he has a chance at being your boyfriend when that’s not in the cards. To prevent him from being hurt, make sure you are honest and upfront with him about your intentions for the friendship. 

He’ll appreciate your honesty and you’ll know whether you can be friends or not.

Do You Want To Be More Than Friends?

do you want to be more than friends

If you would like to have a “friends with benefits” relationship with the guy, make sure you set boundaries so that both of you know the rules expected in the relationship. If he thinks the relationship is moving in the romantic arena and the friends with benefits really mean that you will be together forever and that’s not your plan, talk to him!

The last thing you want is for your friend to believe you want something more than you do. Guys can really get the wrong idea if you flirt or have sexual intercourse with them; they may like your personality, have a crush on you, or believe that you like them. The more time you spend together, the stronger your friendship is going to be and the closer you’ll be to one another.

If you really don’t have romantic feelings for this friend, you need to let him know that you don’t see a romantic future for the two of you. Talk things out, and he’ll understand. If you have a good friendship, he’ll probably respect you for having the conversation about your real feelings for him and appreciate the fact that you aren’t leading him on as many people do.

FAQs

How do you become best friends with a guy?

Build trust and tell jokes to make him laugh; that’s how you build a bonding relationship that lasts a lifetime. Communicate well; talk to him about everything - your interests, passions, future plans, and dreams. Be honest about where you think the friendship is going so that you’re not misleading him.

How do you get a guy friend to notice you?

Strike up a conversation with him and let him know the things you are interested in. What kind of activities do you enjoy doing? You could just think of it as you do with girls; how do you treat girls? You just chat it up, talking about everything under the sun!

What are cute things to say to a guy?

You could tell funny jokes or mention your favorite television show; this is especially fun to do if you are really passionate about your fav TV show! I love Brooklyn 99 and House! I think they are hilarious, and they make me smile! Talk about what you’re passionate about! 

What is a boy bestie?

He’s your best boyfriend; this is the guy that you talk to the most, the one you have a strong friendship with. You may consider him to be your closest friend or the guy you turn to when you have relationship or boyfriend issues.

Why does he call me his BFF?

BFF stands for best friends forever, and it means that he thinks you are his closest friend. That’s an awesome thing! It means you have really impacted his life in a real way! You should make sure you treat this guy right - he’s a keeper!

To Sum It All Up

Do you have more guy friends or girl friends? What do you believe are the differences between girl friends and guy friends? What are the chances a guy friend will turn into a boyfriend? We’d love to hear from you and get your take! Please leave a comment and share!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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