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My Boyfriend Isn't Romantic (11 Tips To Manage The Situation)

by Sonya Schwartz

All relationships require romance. According to experts, for many women, their men are just the perfect men until it comes to being romantic. Then it is all downhill from there. If you’re a woman with an unromantic guy, you might have told him several times that you really don't require much from him, and it is all about the little things. 

Likewise, he wants you to be happy. You know this because he has said that countless times, but he doesn't put in the effort to up the romance game in the relationship. But you know you put in all the effort where he is concerned. When he likes something, you do it, because he is your Prince Charming. 

However, you don't want to tell him to do something romantic for you, because he will do it only because you asked and not because of his love for you. Like you, many other women have asked the question, "How do I go about it if my boyfriend isn't romantic?'. So. allow me to help by providing various eleven ways you can manage the situation if your boyfriend isn't romantic.

11 Ways Handle An Unromantic Boyfriend

1. Communication is key

Communication is key in every healthy relationship; more so, a situation where your boyfriend isn't romantic. If you do not talk to him about it, he may not know that being romantic is a deal-breaker for you. So, you could talk to him to arrange a day for the two of you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Or, you could be honest and tell him how the lack of romance is making you feel. You ought, to be honest, and transparent. But before you do that, don't talk to him when he is busy. People tend to have very serious conversations when the other party is occupied with something. Chances are, he won’t digest a word of what you said. Or he would not treat it with the urgency the situation needs.

So, get to your boyfriend when he is not engaged in any activity and talk to him about the need for romance in the relationship. Remember, he is not a psychic. So help him to help you have a great dating experience.

2. Manage your expectations

Manage your expectations

If your man is not romantic, then perhaps it means he has never really been the romantic type. But it is possible for him to change once he understands the benefits of being romantic in a relationship, and perhaps surprise you. This is why you need to be realistic and adjust your expectations accordingly.

The fact that you’ve done everything possible does not mean he will change overnight. Change is a process. Some people respond more quickly than others. So yes, you might be disappointed and frustrated along the way. But do not lose hope when you don't get to experience any romance from your man. Just be realistic about what you expect from him.

3. Initiate romance

To want romance, you need to give it. Your guy is bound to respond. So, send him flirty messages during the day. You can even send him flowers, get him a gift, or write him a love letter to make him feel special. You can initiate all these are romantic acts for him to learn from. It really is the little things.

So take the lead. Let him see through your romantic gestures as you lead by example that being romantic is a very nice thing.

4. Appreciate his efforts

Sometimes, it may not seem obvious, but he is also doing his best to also spark up the romance in the relationship. What will motivate him further is your appreciation of his efforts. Let him know how much you appreciate all his efforts to up his romantic level in the relationship. He will know his girl is happy with his progress and he would want to do more.

5. Don't compare

Don't create room for unnecessary competition in your relationship. Your relationship is exclusive to you and your guy only. Desist from comparing him to other guys or showing disappointment if your friends’ boyfriends are more romantic. Men are all about their egos, so try not to hurt them. 

Constantly making comparisons appears as if you are trying to tell him that he sucks and that is pretty offensive. While your intentions may only mean to spark up the relationship, a comparison will just make it worse and dull the love energy. I say this because your man will eventually get tired of trying to be romantic if you keep comparing him to others.

6. Compromise

All long-term relationships require compromise. So, even though you are not into basketball, and he wants you to go with him for the match, go with him. You might be bored but he sees that you are putting in an effort. He will be grateful for it, and when you ask him to do something, especially where romance is involved, he won't think twice about saying yes.

7. Don't be the nagging partner

Don't be the nagging partner

Don't be the nagging girlfriend! Nagging actually never solves anything. Learn to understand the difference between communication and nagging. The borderline is in the choice of words. While nagging leaves no room for communication and is an invitation for arguments. On the other hand, communication helps a couple reach a mutual consensus.

If his gestures are not in the least romantic, it doesn't mean he has no love or value for you. So, nagging is not going to help the situation. It will make him not want to listen to you, and that will defeat the whole purpose of your "nagging" in the first place.

8. Schedule time together

Sometimes, girls want their men to be spontaneous on the whole romance thing. For instance, sending flowers unannounced. It makes the whole experience so real and thoughtful. But take a chance by scheduling romance. Schedule time to be spent together occasionally because it is how you can get to experience romantic gestures from your boyfriend.

That way, he is more expectant of the scheduled time you have together so that he can prepare himself and plan ahead. A survey discovered that couples who keep calendars to mark dates together are so romantic. So go traditional. Get a calendar, schedule events, and mark them. Or you can also connect events on the calendars on your phones together. 

It doesn't have to be an expensive dinner date, it could be stargazing on a rooftop, taking a walk, or going to the beach together.

9. Romance yourself too

So what if your boyfriend isn't romantic? One of the many ways you can manage being in a relationship with an unromantic guy is to be romantic to yourself too. Self-love is very important, so show love to yourself in the best ways you know, how.  

If that means ordering food for yourself, getting yourself gifts, or even going to the spa, just do it! While it may not be the same as being with your guy, you get to get to experience romance too.

10. Let him know how much you love him constantly

Romantic or nay, he is your boyfriend because you love him. So let him know that your love for him is unconditional, even though romance has a way of spicing things up. When he realizes this, it will somehow bring romance into the scene. Because he knows you love him just as he is. 

And since he feels the same for you, he will want to see you happy.  That means he will go to all lengths to put a smile on your face.

11. Know his love language

Perhaps, you are used to particular gestures which equate to an expression of love to you. That goes without saying that if your idea of romance is not seen, then it is easy to equate that gesture with a lack of care. Your guy may show your love in a way that isn’t very obvious to you, but because you are used to your own idea of romance, it is easy for you to miss it.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

The result? You think no romance exists in the relationship, and this could form one of the reasons you think your boyfriend is unromantic. Yes, he does not buy you as many gifts as you would want, but he offers to help you whenever he gets the chance. More so, he always spends time shopping with you, even though he hates it, etc. 

While these instances are not very obvious displays of romance, they show that he cares a lot about you. Of course, you need to be shown love in the ways you know how, but he is also entitled to show love in the way he knows how.

FAQs

What do you do if your boyfriend isn't romantic?

If your boyfriend isn't romantic, you need to come up with these measures to spice up the union: initiate romance, appreciate him, go easy on the comparison to other romantic men, learn to compromise, do not be the nagging girlfriend, and tell him what you want him to do.

Why is my boyfriend unromantic?

Your boyfriend may be unromantic because he may not know what you want him to do and how he expresses his love language may be very different. Being romantic is seen as something womanly, and he may want to cling to his macho masculinity. Alternatively, your boyfriend may not be able to give that softness that is required of being romantic

How do I get my boyfriend to be more romantic?

To get your boyfriend to be more romantic, you first of all need to be very realistic. Also, you could consider keeping a calendar of things you could do together. Hint at things you want him to do for you, be creative, remind him you are still a catch, and also communicate.

What do you call a man who is not romantic?

People who are not into romance are called aromatic, also known as "aro". 

How do I make him worry about losing me?

To make him worry about losing you, give him as much space as you can and be mysterious about it. Do not be too eager when he is around you. Give an "I am not very interested" vibe if he happens to relate with you. If he loves you enough, he will start to worry about losing you.

In Summary

In conclusion, these are some ways you can manage the situation if your husband isn't romantic. These ways are bound to produce results, but be patient as you go about it.

I hope you were enlightened by this article. I want to know what you think in the comments. Keep sharing this piece.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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