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Giving Him Space To Figure Out What He Wants (17 Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

Knowing what to do in a relationship can be difficult at times. If things are fractious between you and your partner, you may wonder what course is best to take. Should you break up? Should you talk things through? Should you go on holiday for some quality time? Or should you give each other a little space

While all of these things can be a good idea at times, the latter can work particularly well with some guys. Here, we look at 17 reasons why it can be good to spend time apart for the sake of your relationship. 

Giving Him Space To Figure Out What He Wants

Not all of the reasons will be relevant to you and your particular guy. Your relationship is unique and what works for you may not work for others, however, there can be some great benefits to spending less time in each other pockets which can give you confidence in suggesting it to your partner. 

1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

There is much truth in the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you are not with a person that you are fond of, when you are not spending much time with them, you will often feel like you miss them. Make him miss you therefore by having a little time away from one another. 

In doing so, you will give him the space he needs to remember all the reasons why he loves you and it will actually stop him from losing interest in the relationship as a whole. If you are the person who doesn’t want or need space, try to play the long game and remember it can be better for the longevity of your relationship if you try pulling away once in a while. 

2. Gives you more time to concentrate on yourselves

Gives you more time to concentrate on yourselves

A  really big benefit that is so often overlooked when couples try giving space to one another is how much time you then have to concentrate on yourselves. A couple will never be truly content if one of the individuals is not happy, for whatever reason. If you spend time on your own to concentrate and focus on your physical and mental health, when you come back together you will stand a much better chance of being happy overall. 

3. He cannot lose interest

However counterintuitive that it sounds if you give him space, he is very unlikely to lose interest in you as a result of your time separate from each other. He will simply have the space to figure things out in his own way and have the emotional time to work through his feelings for you. If you respect him, you should give him space he either will want or need. 

He will appreciate the thought you have put into putting him first so give him space if he needs it. If you two are meant to be together, he won’t lose interest in you simply because you don’t see each other every day. 

4. He’s independent

Another reason that it can be good to let him know that it’s ok if he needs space is if the guy you are with is a very independent person. If he is, your relationship will be characterized by his need for space every once in a while. It is something he will both want and like to have on occasion and it will likely be good for your relationship as a whole. 

While you don’t know what will happen in the future, you can at least know that you tried to address his independence by giving him that much-needed space he will crave every once in a while. 

5. He will not feel overwhelmed

Guys can often want space from their relationship if it is getting serious too quickly. As a result, a guy can frequently feel overwhelmed by the prospect of where your relationship is going so it can actually be better, in the long run, to give him space now. 

That way, he won’t walk away completely due to being scared of commitment and where your relationship is headed - if he is not ready yet. Some guys like commitment, but those that like space once every so often, are ones that can fear being tied down. Give him space to make him realize that being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up your individual identity. 

6. Things will not get too intense

Giving your guy space is great for the long term of your relationship again as it will stop your relationship from getting too intense too quickie so that it fizzles out quickly too. An intense relationship is difficult to maintain at the pace it starts with if it ramps up too quickly. If you give him space to stop the intensity in its tracks, he will want to come back to you but will do so recharged for your relationship too. 

7. You have your own lives

Having space from one another is actually very important and healthy to do in a relationship. It means that you both have your own lives and that you will not lead a co-dependent relationship. Instead, when you are together, you are pleased to see each other and refreshed. You also have lots to talk about and want to catch up on everything you have both been doing since you last saw each other - be it a day, week, or month!

8. He’ll come to his own decision

He’ll come to his own decision

It may sound scary, but sometimes when you give a guy the space to come to his own decision about your relationship without you interrupting his thoughts, it is actually a good thing. It means that if he does come back to you and says that he wants to give the relationship a go, you can be confident that he came to that decision on his own - without any persuasion from you. 

This is important as if you have confidence in your relationship, you can relax more into it and enjoy the time you do spend with each other. You are more likely to get what you want or need from a relationship that you are relaxed and confident in than a relationship where you are scared he is only with you because you persuaded him to be. 

9. You won’t appear desperate

While it may take guts and a healthy dose of bravado to give a guy space, one of the best things about doing so, is that you don’t appear desperate. It may be the furthest thing from what you are feeling, but it shows confidence in yourself and that you think he will want to come back to you. That confidence is very important as not only is it attractive to others, it also means that when your relationship does start up again, there tends to be a healthier balance and respect between you both

10. It gives you the mystery

Another added attraction when you give a guy space is the fact that it gives you an air of mystery. This helps keep you both together in the long run as it helps the attraction between you. Guys like there to be a little bit of a chase between them and their partners, which can come from them feeling like their partner could be very happy without them. 

Telling your guy that it’s ok if you spend some time away from each other, can give you that air of mystery to keep the attraction burning for longer. It also gives him the time to come to that realization of his own accord and know what he is missing. 

11. Your time together will be more precious

If, as a result of giving your guy space, you actually start to give each other a bit more time out as a habit, you’ll find that a huge benefit is that the time you do spend together is better. In the longer term, this helps your relationship even more as you spend more quality time together which exponentially helps improve your bond. 

When you spend quality time together, you enjoy each other’s company more and you want to see each other more too. You will find that you like the stability that this brings, which then engenders confidence in the bond you have and your relationship as a whole. 

12. You will have less time to irritate one another

Practically speaking, the less time you spend with each other, the fewer opportunities you give one another to cause irritation. Again, this helps improve the quality of your time together so that you can see having space from one another is a great benefit to your relationship over a longer period of time. 

Additionally, when you spend fewer moments together, when you do things that irritate one another, they will irritate you to a lesser degree. Again, this means you have more patience with one another and that will help strengthen what you have even further. 

13. You will gain more confidence

Being apart from your boyfriend can help your own confidence too. The reason being is that you will have to spend more of your free time elsewhere and you will gain confidence from being happy in yourself. Additionally, the confidence that comes from the fact that you did give him space without him losing interest is worth its weight in gold. 

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It means that you are never insecure around him, which can be such a source of contention for many couples. Any couple that has to deal with insecurities will often find themselves stepping on eggshells around each other, as opposed to just enjoying one another’s company. 

14. You both have the space to grow individually

Spending time away from each other also gives you the opportunity to find happiness outside of the relationship. This is key as it gives you both room to grow as individuals, not as a pair. Trying to grow as a pair is a very difficult thing to do and often couples will find it almost suffocating, at times. 

Knowing that you can go off and do your own thing while having the support of your partner who is happy with giving you the space you need is fundamental to the overall health and success of your partnership. While you may not initially feel like you want or need to grow as a person, in the longer run, it will be better for you both. 

15. You have more time for friends

You have more time for friends

When couples give each other space, they sometimes are too quick to focus on the negatives of what wanting time away from each other can mean. What is a good idea is focusing on the positives. One of the fantastic positives to having more time outside of your relationship is that you get to see your friends and family more. 

So often, when we are in a relationship, it is a juggling act trying to keep up with our loved ones while trying to fit this other big love into our lives. If you accept that you both need space every so often, you’ll find that you no longer have to do that juggling act. 

16. You will be less stressed

It may not be a course of action that you want to take initially, but you may find that once you have at least made the decision to give your boyfriend space that you are actually less stressed as a result. This is down to making a decision for the sake of your relationship that you think will help you over the longer term. 

Sometimes simply deciding on a course of action is just as stressful as the heartache that a faltering relationship can cause too. Remember that you are never going to be happy in a relationship if you are too scared to make any changes for fear that it will totally dissolve. The issues that you want to change will only get worse, so taking a decided route can sometimes be the best thing you ever do. 

17. It gives you time out when you do argue

Another reason that it can be a great idea to give one another space to figure out what both of you would like from the partnership is that it can diffuse arguments before they even start. Arguing itself is not a bad thing, but sometimes arguments get bigger than they need to be if couples don't communicate effectively with each other. 

This is often caused to become too heated at the moment so that you cannot see things with a clear head anymore as you have both come too emotional. Having the confidence to give each other a chill-out space can therefore be hugely beneficial to calm down an argument so you can come back to it and resolve it more effectively.

FAQs

Does giving a man space work?

Giving a man space can most definitely work. Men tend to need some time on their own to get back to being energized for a relationship. Time out for a man actually gives him the space he needs to miss you and realize what you both have together. 

Do guys miss you when you give them space?

Guys do miss you when you give them space. Pulling away can make them realize what they are missing out on when you are not around and can let him know that he is very much into you. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder with guys. 

What does it mean when a guy says he doesn't know what he wants?

A guy can often get confused when he is in a relationship. He will often really want to be with you but doesn’t know what he wants in the long term. Men do get scared of commitment sometimes, especially when they are younger. 

How do you make him miss you when he wants space?

The act of giving him space will often be all he needs to make him miss you and want to come back to you. When you are not so readily available to him, he will not like the feeling of being out of control and will feel like he wants you around again. 

Is he ghosting me or just needs space?

It can be hard to know whether a guy is ghosting you or whether you should just give him space. Giving space and ghosting have very similar characteristics. Therefore, if you are worried he is losing interest, it is probably best simply to ask him what it is that he wants. 

How To Give Him Space - Overall Takeaways

Without a doubt, having the guts to give a guy space is a tough course of action to take. When we really like a person, the last thing we wish for is to see them less as well as giving them the opportunity to walk away from the partnership while they figure things out. 

However, have confidence in yourself and the fact that sometimes this course of action can actually make things better in the long run. You will know once and for all if he is into you or not if you give him the opportunity he needs to think things through. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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