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I Hate My Boyfriends Friends: 9 Tips To Help You Deal With Them

by Sonya Schwartz

When you get him, you get his friends. Well, sort of. You don’t have to be friends with his friends. Yet, you will find yourself in their company. When game day rolls around, they can take over the living room. If one of them needs a place to crash, it could easily wind up being your couch. 

What To Do When You Hate Your Boyfriend’s Friends

Even though they grate on your every last nerve at times, there are a few things that you can do to make their presence in your life a bit less nerve-racking. His friend group isn’t going anywhere any time soon, so you might as well make an effort.

1. Don’t blow it off

Don’t blow it off

This is not something you can ignore. If you don’t like his friends, this could have a drastic impact on the future of your relationship. In the beginning, it might not be a big deal. However, if you guys can’t get along over time, he might feel that he has to choose between the two of you. 

Even worse, he might assume that his friends have a good reason for not liking you and consider calling it quits. The closer he is with the friend you don’t like, the more problematic it can become. 

2. Consider why you don’t like them

If you constantly think I hate my boyfriend spending time with his friends, maybe you don’t hate the friend. Perhaps you’re jealous that he’s spending time with them and not you? On the other hand, maybe you don’t like them because he acts differently when he’s around them. Not liking them because they act like jerks is another very valid reason not to like them. 

Whatever your reasoning, come to terms with why you don’t like them. 

3. Have a talk with your boyfriend

If there’s a problem, it’s best to face it head-on. However, remember that you want to talk about it and find a solution together so it’s important to be tactful. Try to be sensitive to the fact that these are his friends. 

When it’s time to have the talk with him, acknowledge that you know how important his friendship is to him. Then, bring up what your issue is. (This is another reason it’s important to take a good look at why you have a problem with his group of guys.) 

Point out how his behavior is different or that you feel as though he doesn’t spend enough time with you. Don’t point fingers at his friends during this conversation. 

4. Make an effort with his friends

You don’t have to have a close-knit friendship with his guy pals, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t make an effort to get along. Participate in a little bit of banter. Smile and pretend like you’re having a good time. 

Imagine that they are his parents if you have to. When you pretend that they are his parents, you’ll instantly find yourself being nicer and happier. Once you start making more of an effort, you might discover that there are a few great things about them. Maybe your boyfriend likes to spend time with them because they’re funny, or because they’re a great support system. 

5. Watch for signs that his friends don’t like you

Watch for signs that his friends don’t like you

It’s one thing if you don’t like them. It’s something else if they’re going out of their way to exclude you. These signs all indicate that his friends do not you. If this is the case, try to get along with them anyway, and have a talk with your man. 

6. Address boundary issues with your guy

There are some guys that have that one friend that is a girl. The same girl that happens to be needy, clingy, and sounds exactly like a child most times. That one girl that grates on your last nerve, and also seems to ignore the fact that you exist. 

Usually, this becomes a problem in the relationship due to this said friend being inconsiderate. You wind up hating her, but try not to say anything because you know it sounds like some form of jealous girlfriend behavior. 

However, no one can take advantage of someone without that person letting them. No one can disrespect your relationship unless they are allowed. If you’re in this situation, you need to address it with your boyfriend. Make sure to bring up key moments that were displays of her worst behavior if you need to prove your point. 

7. Be ready to leave if you have to

In extreme circumstances, bad friends can be a deciding factor in relationships. If your man is surrounded by guys that are disrespectful, engage in criminal activity, and can’t seem to get their life together even though they are almost forty, you’re going to reach the end of your rope someday. Unfortunately, this is surprisingly common in relationships. 

Don’t give him an ultimatum. Do not focus on who is right, or that your ways are right and his friends are wrong. Instead, you’ll need to have a sit down with him to discuss it as his girlfriend wants a future with him. If he wants to hang on to them, or that lifestyle, you need to do what is best for you and your future. Even if it means ending the relationship. 

8. Jerks hang out with jerks

If your relationship is smooth sailing until he starts hanging out with his friends, you have to consider the possibility that he might not be as nice as you think he is. Birds of the same feather flock together. If your boyfriend has genuinely changed and does not act like them, it’s important to remember that we often quit hanging out with people that we outgrow. 

If his friends are disrespectful, rude, and inconsiderate, there’s always the chance that your man simply puts on his best behavior for you. That’s not something you should take lightly. In fact, you need to take a good look at your relationship without the rose-colored glasses on. 

9. Don’t hang out with them

Don’t hang out with them

Sometimes, you’re going to have to take one for the team and be around them. Other times, there is nothing wrong with finding something else to do. It’s very healthy for both people in a relationship to have their own hobbies. When your guy is hanging out with his guy friends, go hang out with the girls. Pain a picture. Enjoy some relaxation. 

When you separate yourself from his friends, you’ll find that you’re less stressed. However, you can still spend plenty of time with your guy. If he hangs out with his friends on Friday nights, plan a date night for Thursday night. There’s no reason that you guys can’t all share!

If you take this route, make sure that you are honest with your boyfriend. When he asks why you don’t want to go out with him and his friends, tell him that you find (insert the name of his friend) to be rude and that their behavior is offensive so you’d rather not go. Make sure to tell him that you don’t mind if he hangs out with his friends without you, though. This guarantees that he won’t feel forced to choose. 

FAQs

What do I do if I hate my boyfriend's friends?

Spend time with your guy without his buddies. Don’t be around them unless you have to be. Address concerns with your man. Take a good look at why you don’t care for his friends, and see if there is a deeper issue that you need to work on to become a better partner. 

How do I stop being jealous of my boyfriend's friends?

Look at why you are jealous. If he’s spending more time with them, try to schedule a bit more couple time so that you don’t feel excluded. Once you discover what the root of your jealous feeling is, you’ll be able to better learn how to start feeling better about your boyfriend having friends. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Do you lose friends when you get a boyfriend?

Sometimes. You might lose especially needy or clingy friends because you don’t have as much time available. Your single friends might not invite you out, to do single girls do, like going to the club or bar hopping if they think that you’ve settled down. Talk to your friends if you think you’re losing them. 

Is it bad to have a crush on your boyfriend's friend?

It’s not good, but it’s not bad either. When one person is attracted to another person, it’s perfectly normal. All this is is a mere attraction. Ask yourself how much you love your partner. Is it worth it to ruin it with a crush that might not even turn into anything? It might be best to just let it go. 

How do I act around my boyfriend’s friends?

Be polite and fun to be around. Make sure that you’re nice to your boyfriend. Don’t make out or show too much PDA when you’re all hanging out. Remember their names. Also, take mental notes about likes or dislikes while you’re all talking. It’ll help you win them over later. 

In Conclusion

If you hate your boyfriend’s friends, you have to decide if it’s a deal-breaker first. Choosing to stay in the relationship means that you’ll have to find a way to make it work. How else would you try to tolerate his group of guy friends?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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