When looking for a new romantic relationship, it may be hard to know the signs that someone is attracted to you. It’s frustrating because you both probably like each other, but maybe you’re afraid of rejection or don’t want to ruin your friendship.
There’s good news, though! You can learn to recognize the many signs of unspoken attraction without saying a word. Keep reading to learn the 15 signs of unspoken mutual attraction.
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Unspoken attraction is what it sounds like. It's when two people are attracted to each other but don't say it out loud. There are many reasons why you may not tell someone directly that you are attracted to them or vice versa.
It may be that they have low self-esteem and are afraid of rejection. Or maybe you and your boss have an unspoken attraction, but you're both concerned about what that would mean for your working relationship.
It could even be that the two of you are still feeling it out before professing your mutual attraction for each other.
Whatever the reason, there are many signs of unspoken mutual attraction that can clear up the air a bit.
I have chosen to put this as the first point because this is what you most likely have noticed. You will be able to feel it inside you if you have chemistry with someone. Our ‘gut feeling’ or subconscious can be screaming at us, telling us that we have feelings towards this person and we still might not trust it.
If you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine when you’re with someone or you can’t stop checking each other out subtly, you probably have a mutual connection with this person. Paying attention to your gut instincts is key, and it’s rarely wrong.
Once again, this is quite an obvious sign of mutual attraction. However, you might not be sure. A lot of people flirt with each other but don’t have a real mutual connection. Flirting is fun. We can’t blame them, can we?
Although, if the flirting is done in a funny way it probably is just that – a joke. Something to look out for is teasing. When someone teases you, or vice versa, it shows that you are already probably close with them, and this is just a more intimate act between the two of you.
When I say teasing, it's crucial to say that I don’t mean bullying – this is not flirting, this is not a nice thing to do. I am talking about the school playground type of teasing. Maybe you play fight or tease and make fun of each other. This could just be the two of you trying to cover up the fact that you want to be in close physical proximity to each other.
This could obviously mean that you are just good friends. However, you have put your trust in someone when it comes to sharing personal details about you or your life. This requires a certain level of intimacy. You already feel comfortable with each other and it can be a good sign of being mutually attracted to each other.
In terms of telling each other things, maybe this person is the first one you want to share good news with or the person you turn to when things get tough in your life? Whatever the reason is, it might be time to start asking why it is them you always talk to and confide in.
Similar to the previous point, you might be just as close physically as you are emotionally. If you are always with each other, it could be because you can’t tear yourselves apart.
When you are together, do you always stay in close proximity to each other? This could be a sign that you feel sexually attracted to them, or that being close to them makes you feel happy.
Do other people notice that you are spending a lot of time with this person? If they do, you might want to start thinking about why it’s this person in particular that you want to spend the majority of your time with.
In addition to this, do you find yourself or the other person lingering around each other? Do you make excuses to be together when you don’t need to be? If you find yourself sacrificing other friends or free time to hang out with this person, it could be because you know that deep down you can feel mutual attraction with this special someone.
If you notice that you make more of an effort with your appearance before seeing this person, it is useful to ask yourself why. People don’t fix their appearances for no reason. It is normally because they are trying to impress someone they know they will be spending time with.
It might be difficult to figure out if this person is making more effort with their physical appearance for you if they always look good around you. Therefore, a more subtle way to find out is if you can tell he is adjusting himself to look attractive to you.
For example, does he pat down his clothes, fix his hair or add more cologne as soon as he notices you? He is preparing himself to look his best for you and it’s a sign that he isattracted to you.
A strong sign that people are attracted to each other is engaging in constant eye contact. Eye contact is a really intimate thing to share with someone. Not many people hold intense eye contact with others if they can help it.
If you find that you are both staring into each other’s eyes for a long amount of time, it could be because you have both sexual and emotional chemistry together.
Have a good think. Do you both share a lot of eye contact with each other? Do you share more eye contact with this person than you do with anyone else?
If two people with a mutual attraction to each other hold each other's gaze, it will feel nice and make them happy inside. Is this how you both feel after sharing a stare together? If so, it’s probably a deep attraction.
This point is more geared towards sexual attraction, but it’s still a really important one. If you think that you are just friends, ask yourself how often you look at or notice your other friends’ bodies? And how much do you look out or notice particularly this person’s body?
People with unspoken mutual attraction will look at and notice each other’s bodies, subtly. You might be able to notice if he is looking at yours. When you walk away from him, turn around. If he is looking at you, it’s because he was watching your body walk away from him. He finds you attractive and there may be sexual tension too.
When you are both with each other, are you both too focused on the other person to see the outside world around you?
When two people who have a mutual attraction are together, it can seem like nothing else matters but the two of you, being together, at that moment in time. You only have eyes for each other. All communication with the outside world is shut off. In particular, neither of you will probably use your phones while you are together.
When mutual attraction occurs, time disappears when you are together. This can mean that you are so into each other that you even forgot what time it was. Perhaps you have both missed important meetings or lost track of your schedules when you are together.
The majority of people are very particular about who has physical contact with them. So, if you are both very touchy-feely and happy to have each other’s hands all over your body, it is because you feel comfortable with their physical touch. You both enjoy the feeling of being all over each other.
It might get to a point where you are constantly hugging or holding hands because you can’t be without the touch of the other person.
If you both enjoy being in close proximity to each other, you cannot carry on pretending you are just friends. You cannot deny it because it’s a clear sign that you are sexually and emotionally attracted to each other.
If both of you are mutually attracted to each other, you will both be very observant of what the other person is doing, or if anything changes in them. For example, no one else might notice but you might be able to tell that he has changed his hair, or he might notice you are wearing different nail polish.
When you feel mutual attraction, nothing goes amiss. You will notice every small thing about the other person because they entice you.
This could also be said about the fact that you will pay attention to what the other person says. They might mention something to you that you can recall a few weeks or months later. Your focus is entirely on them.
If you are both attracted to each other, you will miss each other when you’re apart. You want to spend time together a lot. This other person makes everything better, so it is completely normal to miss them.
You will be able to tell that you will miss each other when you leave. The goodbye might last longer than a normal goodbye would last with any other friend.
You will also be able to tell that you missed each other whenever you meet again. You will both be so excited you won’t be able to contain it.
Do you also talk on text or social media when you are not physically together? This might be because you just can’t get enough of each other.
Laughing is one of the best ways to attract someone. So if you are both constantly trying to make the other person smile or laugh, it could be because you share an unspoken attraction.
In addition to this, you probably enjoy teasing each other. This is a real school playground kind of flirting, but it will most likely be happening between you. You will have inside jokes about each other, special ways of making the other person laugh, or even play fighting.
All of this shows that you are comfortable with one another and is a sure sign of unspoken attraction. Normally, people tend not to be making fun of others, in case it comes off as offensive. So, if you do, it shows that you have a very special kind of relationship.
Normally you will take an interest in a friend’s life. However, with this person, it’s different. You feel like you need to know the personal details about their life, you just can’t wait to hear about every aspect of their life now that you are part of it.
With someone who you are attracted to, you will probably be wanting to know about their life to see if they have a partner or if they are dating anyone.
Therefore, if you find yourselves talking at length about personal details or your past romance history, you can be certain that you share a mutual attraction for each other.
You know you are experiencing mutual attraction to someone when you both can’t stop smiling around each other. You are both happy to be spending time together, and smiling builds both of you up to feel great.
So, this is a really subtle sign that you both share an attraction towards each other. If you have massive grins on your faces or you go around laughing like school kids when you are around one another, you won’t be able to deny the attraction any longer.
You will also be able to tell if this person makes you smile more than anyone else, and if they do, it will probably be because you have a connection together.
If other people are coming to you and telling you both that you should just get together because they can feel your chemistry, this is a no-brainer that you share a mutual attraction together.
People will be able to see the relationship and bond you share together. Listen to them, because they can see the sparks flying from where they are.
If you realize that you are attracted to a friend, it's important not to make it a big deal. Maybe you're worried your crush may not share your feelings, but if you keep building it up in your head, it will get more complicated.
I think it’s really important for you to ensure that the person does feel the same about you before doing anything. If there is no rush to take any action on the matter, the best thing you could do is wait and see what happens further down the line.
It might blossom organically into a relationship. Besides that, now that you have the knowledge of these signs, you can also monitor the relationship between you and see if these signs ring true for your situation.
If you know that you both have an obvious attraction to each other, you can take the first step and bluntly talk to the person! Go and tell them you have feelings for them. You might just have needed to say it first, and undoubtedly the other person will share their feelings. Well done for taking the initiative.
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It’s ironic, but oftentimes other people can recognize chemistry between two people before the couple even notices. If a family member or friend points it out, pay attention! It’s possible that you two have a physical attraction towards each other.
There are many signs of attraction between two people. Many of the signs are listed above, but one of the major signs of mutual attraction is body language. Pay attention to eye contact, physical touch, and smiling when talking to your friend. These are all good indicators of attraction.
Whatever you decide to do with the information that you received through this article, I really hope that it has helped. As seen in this article, there are many signs of an unspoken mutual attraction between two people. However, sometimes you just have to trust your gut instinct and take a leap of faith.
Perhaps you have confirmed your suspicions that you and a friend have many of the signs of unspoken mutual attraction? I hope so, and if that’s the case, please do let us know.
Did this article help you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you.