Edging is a great technique to explore when you want to improve your endurance in the bedroom. It can help with premature ejaculation, it can help improve sexual stimulation or intensity (resulting in better orgasms), and it means that you can experience pleasure for even longer.
Orgasms are great, we know this, but have you ever tried prolonging the stimulation process? Practicing edging is a really great way of getting to know your body a little better and is also something fun to try with a partner; a bit of teasing never hurt anybody!
That’s essentially what you’re doing, teasing your body by taking away stimulation before climax; when you finally allow yourself to reach climax it will feel much more intense and enjoyable.
It’s important to have a greater understanding of edging before trying it out. So what is edging exactly? How to edge yourself? And what are the benefits of edging?
Edging for men and women can be slightly different. Mainly because one has a penis and the other a vagina, so the edging technique will naturally be different, but also because typically men suffer with premature ejaculation more than women. In fact, according to MD B. Hafi, “Premature orgasm in women is an extremely rare female sexual dysfunction.”
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Edging is a technique of controlling your orgasms and it prolongs your sexual enjoyment. Annabelle Knight, one of the UK's most relevant sexperts, helps to explain edging in a YouTube video for Love Honey. She explains that edging can be a “non medical aid for premature ejaculation”.
She describes edging itself as a “means to bring yourself to the point of climax or the PONR (point of no return)” and then stopping stimulation. In doing this you will avoid reaching climax and orgasming.
When you decide to climax is up to you, but typically with edging, you simply don’t allow yourself to climax at all (unless, of course, it's just a means of making your masturbation session last longer).
To get the most out of edging don’t allow yourself to ejaculate at all. “When you reach the PONR you then become responsible for your own orgasm… By improving your ejaculatory threshold, you improve your overall sexual health and off the back of that, your overall physical health”
There are many benefits of edging, most of those contributing to helping sexual dysfunction or premature ejaculation. According to N.Kadri, “Sexual dysfunction is defined as a disturbance of the processes that characterize the sexual response cycle or as pain associated with sexual intercourse.”
Edging can result in less stress, it can help you to last longer in bed, help you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, learn self control and it can enhance physical sensations and eventually intensify your orgasms. There’s also absolutely no harm in having a greater understanding of our own body! Edging is a great way to learn about yourself sexually.
Edging for women can also be a useful technique to try when struggling with sex addiction. Of course, if this is the case it’s highly advised to seek professional help.
Christopher Brett-Renes, an experienced psychosexual therapist, explores the harmful effects of edging for men. It can become “a form of idiosyncratic masturbation” (masturbation being the only achievable way to experience sexual satisfaction), edging with a partner isn’t always as stimulating, death gripping (tightening the grip of the hand on the penis to enhance pleasure), delayed ejaculation, and porn misuse.
Some of these harmful effects can apply to women, especially porn misuse, and, depending on the frequency of edging, you may rely on a particular feeling to achieve orgasms. It can also result in disappearing orgasms, and isn’t the best to try if you struggle to achieve orgasms in the first place.
“While many people find edging beneficial in improving or avoiding PE, it may not be for everyone. Some people find edging too mechanical, focusing too much on the physiology of orgasm.” - F. Carufel
Whether you want to learn more about your body, or whether you want to intensify your orgasms, there are many tips that will help you learn how to edge yourself. Just remember that everybody is different, don’t feel disheartened if it takes a couple of tries, or even if it’s something that you don’t enjoy the feeling of.
My number one tip is to take the time to explore masturbation first. It’s a great way of understanding your body, and understanding how your body responds to pleasure. From there, it’ll be easier to perform edging whether its solo or with a partner during oral or penetrative sex.
There are many different masturbation techniques to try, but if you’re reaching orgasm and feel satisfied with the stimulation and sexual pleasure, then you’re in a good position to give edging a try.
Don’t feel guilty if you try edging and end up wanting to feel that quick release. Set yourself a certain amount of time, avoid distractions, and start slow.
Try different edging techniques. If one doesn’t work for you, next time try a different technique. And, if you usually orgasm after 10 minutes of masturbating, allow yourself 30 minutes to edge. In the beginning, you could even allow yourself to orgasm after 30 minutes whilst you learn more about how your body responds to the stopping and starting of stimulation.
Contribute to the benefits that edging can give you and practice mindfulness. Meditate and say affirmations regarding self control. Yoga is also a great way to feel at one with yourself.
Edging is a great way to understand your body, so take the time in other areas to feel this as well. It may also help with the success of your edging session.
Edging is very much about control and controlling your orgasm, so when trying edging it can be useful to practice control in other areas of your life. Your diet or your spending, for example.
Being able to have multiple orgasms is an incredibly difficult task, once we orgasm it can feel quite draining and it can take women a lot to try again. However, if you give yourself a short resting period, no more than a few minutes, although it will take longer to achieve an orgasm the second time it will feel much more pleasurable and intense.
You may wonder what this has to do with edging, but just think… The whole concept of edging it to stop and start again, so practicing having multiple orgasms is just essentially another form of this process. It’s also a great way to get you in the habit of being able to reach orgasm after slowing stimulation and can help you to practice control in another form.
Genital touching is great when masturbating and is a really natural way to feel pleasure. However, there are many benefits to using a variety of toys.
Toys may help when edging as, for one, it's one less thing to think about. Toys almost do the work for you, whereas when using your hands you have to concentrate on pleasure.
Another reason is that toys can provide a much more intense stimulation, meaning that the stop-start method can be more effective. Most toys will have an easy stop-start button helping you to quickly stop or slow stimulation in order to pause and then start again when ready.
For most women, you will have a preference of clitoral or penetrative stimulation. It’s most likely that you can feel pleasure from both, but typically you will have a go-to of something that works for you.
If you usually orgasm easily through penetrative sex, but struggle from clitoral stimulation, then edging is a perfect opportunity to engage these areas that you often forget about. You can mix it up of course, but you’re likely to be more successful and feel prolonged pleasure when you’re not so focused on reaching climax via your go-to method.
Almost like conditioning your brain, use something as a device to trigger your sexual pleasure.
The reason being is that one of the negatives that come with edging is that masturbation can decrease sexual stimulation and once that ‘feeling’ goes away it can be hard to get it back.
Porn is an obvious choice, however that too can have its limitations as you don’t want to depend on porn to get yourself in the mood.
Think about something that really gets your juices flowing, and use this to trigger sexual arousal when edging, it will help when structuring your edging session.
Edging doesn’t always have to be when you masturbate, it can actually be a great way to spice up your sex life and encourage sexual activity between you and your partner.
There’s something really sexy about your partner controlling when you get to orgasm. However, for this to be successful, regardless of stimulation or penetration, you have to vocalize to your partner when you’re close to orgasm.
If you’re giving edging a go with a partner, this can be a great opportunity to try BDSM or even role play! Add a daring element to your sex life, have him control you or even better, you control him!
Edging with a partner can open up a whole new world of exploration with control and dominance and, to put it simply, it can just be a lot of fun.
A major point of edging is to prolong and intensify sexual pleasure, so a great way to maximise pleasure for the body is to spend longer time doing foreplay; especially with a partner but even whilst masturbating.
Engage the senses, practice control, take it slow and steady, and set out with the purpose to have fun, not to orgasm. Then, when you begin to edge, you will have already experienced prolonged pleasure.
It simply enhances the situation.
According to WebMD, an article medically reviewed by MD Nivin Todd tells us “the sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Both men and women experience these phases, although the timing usually is different.”
Understanding these four stages will help you to know when you stop or reduce stimulation.
The go-to edging technique to try is the stop-start technique. This is essentially when you feel as though you’re about to reach orgasm, you take away all stimulation and take a break.
You have to listen to your own body to understand when you’re at the point of no return, in order to completely stop or to slow stimulation.
After a short break, you can allow yourself to start again; this intensifies pleasure and prolongs the experience. As a beginner, you should aim to edge 4-5 times at first before reaching orgasm until eventually avoiding orgasm altogether.
Otherwise known as the squeezing technique, this is an edging technique for men where, to stop orgasm or ejaculation, they would simply squeeze the end of their penis.
Although this doesn’t directly help you when edging, it will help your experience if you’re edging with a partner who has a penis.
Sometimes known as anal edging, including anal play in your edging session can be great fun!
Remember, with all things anal, take the time to prepare. I’m talking about lube and a slow build up. Anal play is great when edging as it can feel fantastic, but it can be incredibly difficult to orgasm from anal penetration as a woman meaning that you’re adding an element of pleasure that’s not going to result in orgasm.
If you were to stop stimulation, and then simply pick up where you left off, although the pleasure would be prolonged it wouldn’t intensify. Make sure you increase intensity, pressure, and pace in order to make the most out of your edging session.
If you really want to experience all the benefits of edging, try and get to the point where you don’t orgasm after your edging session. For example, allow yourself 30-60 minutes for a long and decent edging session. But then don’t actually end the session with an orgasm.
This will take a lot of hard work and restraint, but it's the best way to experience most of the benefits from edging.
Too much of anything can be unhealthy. But in moderation, edging for women has many benefits. For men, edging is commonly used as sexual medicine for premature ejaculation. However, for women, it's simply used to enhance pleasure and to practice self control and restraint.
If you’re concerned that you’re edging too much, it’s always a good idea to talk to a professional or to simply edge a little less; the key to edging is to listen to your body.
If you want to edge for a really long time, your best bet is to avoid any distractions, and to start really slowly. I don’t know about you but I find that too much sexual stimulation can be quite numbing, so it’s a good idea to stimulate lots of different areas to keep the party moving.
Switching between clitoral stimulation, penetration, anal play and even engaging other body parts such as your nipples and ears (basically anywhere sensitive) is a good tip for lasting for hours when edging.
You could also spend some time watching porn, or a partner masturbating without touching yourself at all; meaning that you can get yourself super turned on without acting on it.
I’m sure we’ve all heard of wet dreams, this is where you orgasm whilst you’re asleep, so the answer is yes. However, is it possible to finish without touching yourself? I think that depends.
Of course, many women orgasm from penetrative sex, but some women can orgasm from something as simple as nipple play. Every single woman is different, but the simple answer is of course!
Generally, women have better orgasms than men because they statistically can last much longer. For me personally, every orgasm is different and this also varies depending on what type of stimulation has resulted in the orgasm.
An orgasm that is a result of penetrative sex feels different to clitoral stimulation. Also, an orgasm with a partner feels differently to an orgasm that is a result of solo masturbation.
If I was describing the actual feeling of climaxing, it’s an intense tingling feeling that feels exactly like what it is, a release.
Depending on what you want to get out of your edging session, there are many different techniques and tips to try to enhance your experience.
The vagina is highly complex, and so edging allows you to take the time to listen to your body and learn more about what pleasure means to you.
Whether you choose to reach orgasm or not, edging is perfect for prolonging pleasure and can be great when learning to understand your partner, or even helping him to understand you better sexually.
Feel free to comment below any tips you may have about edging, and share with a friend who you think should give edging a try! Good luck with your edging journey.