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How To Make A Rebound Relationship Work (11 Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

What does a rebound relationship mean and why do people attach more negativity than positivity to it? Who gets involved in a rebound relationship and why do they do so? 

Rebound relationships are the relationships people enter immediately after a break-up. 

Most breakups are painful and the aftermath is usually the worst. While trying to get over your ex and go through the healing process, you might decide to do so with a new partner in a new relationship. 

Most times though, many people don’t see rebound dating as a real ‘relationship’. This is because dating a new partner is just a fling that isn’t expected to last. Society has also come to attach a negative tone to a rebound relationship or dating because most people expect them to end just as quickly as they started.

If rebound relationships are so bad, why do people continue to engage in them? While this kind of relationship might not always be the best option for someone trying to get over an ex, it can also be a good way to overcome loneliness and resist the temptation to go back to their exes. 

Also, does a rebound relationship lead to something permanent, or is it only a temporary option someone uses to get over an ex? Many of such relationships have led to people falling in love with their new partners and living happily ever after. 

As such, yes it is possible to have a long-lasting relationship while dating your rebound partner. Have you fallen in love with your rebound partner, and wondering if the relationship can last? If so, this article offers tips that can make your rebound relationship work.

11 Ways To Make A Rebound Relationship Work

1. Check in with your feelings about this new relationship

After a breakup, people do either of these two things: overthink themselves into depression, or do their best to bury their emotions because they don’t want to think at all. While neither of these reactions isn’t healthy, the second one is usually the reason people enter a rebound relationship.

However, even if you want to enter the relationship to forget your ex, it is unhealthy to completely disconnect yourself from your emotions because you don’t want reminders of your past hurt. Coming to terms with the fact that you already broke up with your ex (and he or she has no hold over you again) will help you enter the new relationship with clarity of purpose.

2. Avoid seeing the new relationship like a rebound

avoid seeing the new relationship like a rebound

It can be tricky trying not to treat a rebound relationship like one, but the hack to having a successful relationship inspired by a rebound is to not treat it as one. For starters, the relationship might look like what it is; casual dating.

However, the moment emotions deepen and love becomes involved, you can’t keep acting nonchalant or like you will leave your new partner anytime soon. Admit to yourself that you like this person and would love to see where the love journey will take both of you. 

If you continue to see the new relationship as a rebound, it will end and you’d see yourself as a fool for throwing away a beautiful thing because you were scared.

3. Don’t see your new partner as a substitute for your ex

One of the mistakes many people make in a relationship is to compare new partners with old ones. If you loved your ex so much that you never imagined that anything can break your relationship, it can be hard for someone else to take their place in your heart.

This difficulty is what makes you doubt if anyone else can love you the way your ex did, and so you sabotage your happiness for someone who no longer cares about you. Rather than see your new beau as a substitute for the one you used to love, see them as someone you will choose to love next.

4. Discard your expectations from your last relationship

If your rebound relationship started during your healing process, while you were trying to get over your ex, you may find yourself bringing in some of the expectations that your ex couldn’t meet. It is important to set expectations for the kind of partner you want, and what you want from a relationship.

However, it is never helpful to set unrealistic expectations even you cannot meet up with them. For example, expecting your partner to take you out five out of seven days a week is totally silly because both of you need to work. If this issue used to be a problem in your last relationship, revisit your expectation and refine it to something your partner can work with.

5. Treat this relationship like a new one

After discarding the unrealistic expectations from your last relationship, you must begin to see this new one as a fresh start. Chances that your rebound relationship will work are very slim, so don’t widen the gap by creating more problems for yourself.

One rule you should abide by is making your new beau feel like they are the most special person to you, and no ex can compete with how awesome they are. Tap into your newly discovered feelings about this person, and let them know they rock.

6. Open up your heart to receive love again

open up your heart to receive love again

After the end of one relationship, the last thing you want to do is fall in love or give other people chances. You might even swear that relationships are no longer for you as you’d rather stay single and happy. However, when you start dating casually or begin a rebound relationship that soon includes feelings, you will need to become vulnerable again.

Your fears will rise again, and try to smother the love you’re beginning to feel for this person. If you give in to your fear and close up on expressing your feelings, you might not get other chances with the person.

7. Let go of constant thoughts about your ex

Letting go of constant thoughts about your ex might not be the easiest thing to do because there are still feelings involved, but if your new relationship is to work, you need to try harder at forgetting them. Meaning, you have to cut all ties with your ex, especially if you were in love with them or the relationship lasted for years.

Cutting ties will put a limit on how many times you think about them, or how much every item you see reminds you of them. So, go ahead and delete their numbers and unfollow or restrict their accounts from seeing yours or just block them completely.

8. Consider long-term plans for you and your new partner

When you do not see this new person as someone who will be in your life in the future, it means the relationship might not work. Also, it is vital that you live in the moment and cherish the memories gathered. This will help your rebound relationship have the potential of becoming something permanent.

During discussions, ensure you insert topics of future plans to your partner, and that will help them do the same. Don’t appear pushy or desperate, but let them know you want to be in their life for as long as they will have you. 

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9. Apply the lessons learned from your previous relationship

Applying lessons learned from your last relationship is not the same as comparing or bringing in old baggage into the new one. What this means is that you now know better, and you won’t be making the same mistakes you once did. 

It means you know what you want from the relationship, and what you can’t take from your partner. Also, you will know how to help your new beau understand you the way your ex couldn’t. When everything adds up, you’ll discover this might be your best relationship.

10. Select an appropriate rebound partner

Are you still at the thinking stage of whether you should go for a rebound partner or not? Ensure that whoever you end up with doesn’t possess the same traits that led to your last breakup. You won’t find the perfect partner, but you’ll find the one who complements rather than confuses you.

Before you commit to this new person, watch out for the signs that will lead you back to the hellhole of pain you are trying to escape.

11. Above all, have fun this time around

above all, have fun this time around

The major purpose of a rebound relationship is to have fun, be happy and forget the jerk who hurt you. Even though feelings are becoming involved in your rebound relationship, don’t start putting pressure on yourself to make the relationship work at all costs.

Give yourself a break and have fun while the relationship lasts. Whether your rebound becomes your permanent lover or not, you’d have achieved one of your goals for dating them.

FAQs

How long do rebound relationships last on average?

The duration of rebound relationships depends on what the couples involved are looking for or what kind of connection they’ve formed. However, an average rebound relationship lasts for 2-6 months.

Can rebound relationships last?

Yes, they can if the couple decides to make the relationship a commitment-based one.

What are the stages of a rebound relationship?

The stages of a rebound relationship include the meeting phase, the honeymoon phase, the breakdown phase, the explosion phase, and the end or the beginning phase. The last one will be determined by whether the couple overcame the explosion phase or not. 

How do I get over being used as a rebound?

Forgive them because they acted out of the wrong kind of feelings, and forgive yourself for falling for them.

Do exes come back after a rebound?

Yes, your ex can come back to you after having a rebound relationship that didn’t work. They might return to see if what both of you had is still present.

The Bottom Line 

Rebound relationships are not bad, but they aren’t always fair to the other person being used as a rebound. Also, rebound relationships aren’t always sustainable because they are built on denial and untruthfulness. As such, regardless of how much you want to escape the pain of a bad break-up, it is better to treat your new partner as you would want to be treated.

Did this article help you at all? Then share it with someone and leave a comment below.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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