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21 Signs He Still Loves His Ex-Wife

by Sonya Schwartz

Let’s face it; if a guy still loves his ex-wife or girlfriend, she’ll keep "showing up" around you even though she's not physically present. If you don’t want a frustrating relationship, it might be best to take things slow, until he’s figured-out his feelings.

So, how can you tell if he’s not over his ex even though it’s been a while they divorced or broke-up? Continue reading this article. I’ve list 21 tips that will help you identify signs he still loves his ex. 

In the end, you’ll know if it's best to walk away or proceed with caution.

21 Sure-Fire Signs He Still Loves His Ex

1. He's Still In Active Communication With Her

If the person you are in a relationship with has children from a past marriage; trust me, the kids will always be a reason for her to call him or vice versa. So, you might need to get used to it as long as it's nothing suspicious. 

However, if there's no kid between them and the communication lines are still very open, it’s one of the red flags that he might still love her. I'm talking about every day (or every-other-day) conversations. 

If you notice his discussions with the ex-girlfriend revolves around topics he should naturally engage with you, honey, he's still hung on her. You need to wake up and claim your territory. If he keeps insisting they are just friends and you don't notice any positive changes, then that's total disrespect that you shouldn't condone.

2. He Mentions Her Name Too Frequently In Your Conversations

he mentions her name too frequently in your conversations

It's completely normal to talk about experiences from a past relationship. It might be an excellent way to tell your new lover your likes and dislikes. Well, it's also one of the red flags if a man you are looking to get serious with talks about his ex-girlfriend too much. 

If it has become all too natural for him to bring her name into a conversation when it's not even necessary, then he's not over her. Worse yet, he’s likely still in love with his ex. So, if you've not passed first base, maybe it's best to take things slow with someone like that so that he can process his feelings thoroughly.

3. He Frequently Brings Up The Moments They Shared

One of the most disturbing signs he still loves his ex is hearing him say things like, "I remember when my ex and I used to go on romantic getaways." I hate to break it to you; he's still in love with her. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying he can't bring her up in a conversation at all. 

However, when he frequently does it to describe moments that he cherishes, those are clear warning signs. He's with you now. He shouldn't comfortably throw past romantic moments with someone else in your face—when you should both be making sweet memories with each other without anyone else coming into the picture. 

These are signs he misses her and probably wants those moments back.

4. Her Old Gifts Still Mean A Lot To Him

Another one of the red flags that you shouldn't ignore is when he's finding it difficult to throw away the gifts he got from his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. Now, I'm not talking about utility gifts like a car, television, or toaster. These are useful equipment that probably doesn't mean anything if he still has and uses them. 

However, when he can't bring himself to dispose of a shirt she bought for him even though it doesn't look good anymore, then one thing you should know is that he might still hold her dear in his heart. You should worry more if he has a special place for the gifts in the house and doesn't want you going near them. 

5. He Still Has A Truck-Load Of Her Photos

When you are in a relationship with a boyfriend, it's natural for you to have lots of digital memories saved on your phones or computers. However, once the relationship goes south, it becomes equally natural for most of these stored memories to hit the bin. 

But when you have a guy who still has tons of his ex girlfriends pictures, including their cozy photos, then you don't need an expert to tell you he's hanging on to whatever thread that might be left. This move is a sign he's hoping the situation will change and they'll get back together. 

6. He Calls Her Name Instead Of Yours

Let's not beat about the bush here, unless you and your boyfriend's ex have the same name; all hell is letting loose if he suddenly calls you his ex's name. There's no excuse here. The only explanation is that he's thinking about her too often. 

Research shows that many people make a conscious effort not to mention their ex's name, especially when the relationship didn't end well. If your man didn't initiate the breakup, chances are he still wants his girlfriend back. This might be why he hasn't moved on from the past situation, and her name is still fresh in his mind and on his lips. 

7. He Won't Let Her Be On Social Media

he won't let her be on social media

Trust is essential in relationships, and I don't support snooping around when nothing is spooking you. However, if he's giving you reasons to feel something is up, then putting on your FBI goggles might not be such a bad idea. 

If you find him frequently dropping comments like, "Hey beautiful," then he's probably still looking to rekindle old flames. While he may not even drop any flirty messages, it's still a red flag if you notice he visits her page regularly like he's obsessed. It might be best to take things slowly so you don't play the rebound girl's role who'll get hurt eventually.

8. He Password-Protects Their Conversations

Another sure sign your man is in love with his ex is when you don't have access to their conversations on his phone. He may use an app to lock his messages. This move is all together suspicious and an indication he's keeping something from you. You should confront him, and if he's not showing any sign of changing, then he doesn't respect you. It’s best if you let go ASAP.

9. He's Always Angry & Throwing Shades At Her

If you notice your man is always throwing shades at his ex whenever he talks about her, trust me, it’s a smokescreen. Because he can't stop talking about her, he wants to make you feel like he doesn't like her whenever he does. 

If we are going to look at this point objectively, it's also possible she did a number on him that he never got to resolve with her. While he might not have feelings for his ex anymore, there's no doubt he's still hurt. You could lovingly have a one-on-one. This way, you could get him to open up and let out some bottled-up steam about the past.

10. He's Angry The Ex Has A New Guy

You don't need a relationship expert to tell you something isn't right here. Why would a man in a relationship be angry his ex-wife or girlfriend got someone new. Hello! Everyone knows that's classic jealousy 101. 

You may notice he suddenly put an end to their friendship, or he's in a nasty mood after seeing pictures the ex posted on her cyberspace or a change of Facebook relationship status. There's no doubt he's still in love and might even want her back. You need to rethink if you're going to be in a relationship with someone who still has feelings for his ex.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

11. He Makes A Comparison Between You And The Ex

There's almost nothing worse than when a man compares you to his past lover. When you hear him make comparisons about your dress sense, your hairstyle, your cooking, then he's probably trying to mold you into the ex that he can't have. 

He misses those things and wants to have them back because he still loves his ex. Honey, you don't have to put up with a guy that continually makes you feel you are in a competition, or you have to live up to the standard of his past lover. Trust me; he doesn't deserve you. 

12. He Mentions Her Name During Intimacy

he mentions her name during intimacy

How dare he? If you could somehow bring yourself to condone any of the points above, this one should be a No. Your intimate moments are sacred to you both. It's the moment you explore each others' bodies and find pleasure with each other. No one else is permitted there, physically or mentally.

Letting someone else in, to the extent of mentioning their name, clearly indicates he's not mentally-synced with you. He's probably thinking about the ex while he's inside you. It's absurd, and you shouldn't entertain this behavior under any excuse. There's no better time to let him go.

13. He Doesn't Miss An Opportunity To Be With Her

I mentioned earlier your partner's ex might never go away if they have kids together before the breakup. So, it's okay if they want to be friends; there's nothing wrong with being civil with an ex. However, if he's always enthusiastic about being under the same atmosphere with his ex under the guise of being there for his kid, he's still got the hots for her.

14. He Completely Avoids Conversations About His Ex

While it's not good when a man is always rambling about his ex-wife or girlfriend, it's also a red flag if he avoids talking about her. It's an indication any topic about the ex is an emotional trigger. Maybe he was madly in love with her. What if he took his role as husband seriously and his family still fell apart?

So, instead of letting you see that side of him, where he can't control his emotions about his ex, he completely avoids engaging in a conversation that'll make him talk about her. Your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex or has bottled-up hurtful emotions he never dealt with.

15. They Hang Out Often

It's not uncommon for exes to be friends after a breakup. This scenario is often common if they were initially good friends before becoming lovers. Similarly, when two people have to work together, they could be friends after their romantic relationship goes south. Therefore, if you man is hanging out with his ex once in a while, that's not bad. 

However, there should be a line here. If the handshake is getting to the elbow (e.g., going away for the weekends together under the guise of work or besties time-out), then he's holding on to whatever they once shared and might still love her.

16. He Still Seeks Her Opinion Before Yours

If he has been taking advice from his ex about his life long before they started dating, it's possible this pattern may remain when they are no longer lovers but friends. 

While it's not a bad thing to seek an opinion from others, it's also not a good sign when his ex is his only go-to person when he needs crucial advice. It's likely he still loves his ex and thinks highly of her than you. 

17. He Chooses Her Over You

Again, if your partner's ex happens to be in the picture either as his friend or the mother of his kids, there shouldn't be frequent scenarios where he chooses her over you—if he's really over his ex. 

An emergency can come up, where he has to rush in to be a hero; you don't have to make a big deal out of it. However, if a guy chooses his ex over you, especially when you need him to be there, you might start to reconsider things.

18. He Still Hangs Out With His Ex's Family

In a scenario where a guy has been friends with his ex's family since childhood, it shouldn't look inappropriate if he attends her brother's graduation. Asides from this condition, your boyfriend, shouldn't frequently hang out with his ex's family. These are wrong signs, and he's probably trying to get back with her by getting into her family's good books. 

19. He Only Wants To Hang Out At Spots Where He And His Ex Used To Visit

he only wants to hang out at spots where he and his ex used to visit

Unless a person experienced some form of psychological damage from a past relationship, I don't see any reason to consciously avoid a great restaurant or fun place in a new relationship. Research shows that it could even be a healthy way of moving on. But if your boyfriend or husband only wants to go to a place he usually visits with his ex, then it might be a sign he's using you to relive moments with her. It might even be a move to run into the ex with the hope of making her jealous. 

20. He Puts Her On A Pedestal

While it can be a sign of maturity to not speak-ill of an ex that emotionally hurt and left you, it could also be something to watch out for if your boyfriend is always throwing praises at a particular ex. 

If he's ever mentioning how great, intelligent, funny, and kind she is, then it's a sign you might never catch up if you choose to remain with him. As he’s has placed this ex on a pedestal as his number one choice (and might even still love her), you'll always come short of his expectations since you can't be his ex. 

Trust me; you don't need that kind of relationship in life. It might be best to let go.

21. His Ex-Wife Is Still His Next Of Kin

It's natural for men to choose their wife, child, or sibling as they’re the next of kin. That's because people naturally choose those they trust and love. However, once the relationship with the wife is no more, it's also expected that her name won't remain the next of kin unless she still occupies an essential place in the man's heart. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Therefore, if after breaking up for a while and he doesn't see the need to change something that important, that's a surefire sign he holds her in very high esteem. You should be more worried if you are married and his ex-wife is still his next of kin. 

FAQs 

How do you know if a man is over his ex-wife?

While it's completely impossible to know what's in the mind of a person, a man that's over his ex will no longer behave like he lost something irreplaceable. Asides from losing out emotionally, divorce sometimes comes with some financial loss for men. So, when you notice he no longer feels angry or bitter about the whole thing, he’s likely over his ex-wife. 

How long does it take a man to forget his ex?

Relationships are different, and people react to breakups differently. Therefore, there's no quick answer to this question. However, therapists say it takes about a year to get over a marriage that lasted five to seven years.

Is it okay if he still talks to his ex?

There are many non-creepy reasons why your partner might still maintain communication with his ex, so there's nothing wrong with being civil with a past lover. However, there must be boundaries as research shows that although they don't want to get back together, many couples sleep with each other, which ends up complicating issues. 

Should I wait for a guy to get over his ex?

Because you don't know how long it'll take for him to heal, it's not the best decision to wait for him to get over his ex. While you are waiting, he might even find love in another woman's hands. Altogether, if it's been a long (over a year) he broke up with his ex, and he's still not over her, it might be best to move on.

How do you truly accept your relationship is over?

One of the easiest ways to truly accept your relationship is over is when you are at peace with the conditions and your ex no longer initiates conversation with you. It doesn't mean you won't remember your ex anymore, or you won't have flashes of your intimate moments. But it's a point when you are no longer struggling with the urge to call or see your ex.

To Summarize

I hope you enjoyed reading the article. Remember, people don't just forget about their ex immediately they break up, so it might be best to be a bit patient. 

However, to avoid being the rebound girl that'll get hurt eventually, these tips will help you decide if it's best to let go or thread softly. Let me know what you think in the comment section and share with friends who need the tips.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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