HerNorm is a community-supported website. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Learn more.

How to Keep a Guy Interested After Sleeping With Him

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you worried about a guy losing interest in you after you sleep with him? 

Perhaps you’ve previously been ghosted shortly after jumping into bed with a great guy, and can’t bear to go through the pain of that experience again? 

Well, if you’re looking for a solution to keep a guy interested after sleeping together, you’re in the right place.

The guide below lists eight things you can do to help maintain his interest. 

However, it’s very important to first read the next few sentences carefully.  

I was in this position so many times during my twenties.

For years, I was only ever seen as a ‘bit of fun’. Barely any guys wanted to take a relationship to a more serious level. 

At times, it felt like I was destined to be alone forever.

Thankfully, I was able to turn it around. It all started when I learned about a powerful aspect of male psychology, which dramatically impacts how men feel about the women in their life.

It’s called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

Most men seem to hold onto this psychological tick. Once you learn to activate it, it’s common that they become a lot closer to you emotionally.

This skill is enough to transform you from a ‘short-term fling’ to a ‘keeper’ in his eyes.  At this point, there’s no need to worry about being a pump and dump (read my personal story to learn how I discovered this).    

It’s a real game-changer. Once you discover how to do this, you’ll kick yourself for not finding out about it sooner. 

Click here to learn how triggering the Hero’s Instinct can improve your relationships.

The following list of suggestions for what to do after you’ve slept with him can help too...

Both before and after you’ve had sex with him, you want to show him that you’re the whole package, and not just a one night stand.

From listening to and acting upon the things he tells you, to driving him crazy with some flirty texting - the following tips will make sure your man wants to see you over and over again.

Stick Around for a While

It’s not just women who can feel vulnerable after sleeping with someone for the first time - men do too, so it’s important to make him feel wanted and secure after you’ve slept with him for the first time.

One of the worst moves you can make after having sex with him for the first time is getting up and leaving pretty soon after. Not only will this make him think that you were just looking for a one night stand, but he might also start to worry that you didn’t enjoy it, causing him to feel a little embarrassed, meaning he probably won’t contact you again.

So instead of jumping up and getting in a cab before you’ve even got your breath back, stick around and spend some time with him to show that you’re still interested in him. After all, post-sex can be one of the best times to have a deep chat with the guy you’re dating, giving the two of you a chance to really get to know each other on a deeper and more intimate level.

So if you were planning to sleep with him after your next date, but you know you’ve got somewhere to be after, then this definitely isn’t the best time to have sex with him for the first time. Instead, wait until you’ve got a clear schedule, giving you the chance to stick around for some post-sex bonding (and setting you up for round two!).

Don’t be too Keen

Men get scared easily. Really easily. So it’s important not to become super-keen after sleeping with the guy you’ve been dating for the first time, otherwise you’re sure to scare him off.

After sleeping with him for the first time, it’s important not to change your tune too drastically - even if it’s the best sex you’ve ever had. If you quickly become keen and needy, then you run the risk of him not contacting you again. So if you’ve been playing it super-cool up to now, but suddenly become needy and clingy, calling him or texting him every few hours, then you’re sure to scare him away.

Additionally, it’s important to remember that men and women often view sex differently. Whilst men see it as a physical act, many women see it as an intimate, emotional deed, causing them to have very strong feelings for the person they’re sleeping with.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

However, it’s important to remember that sex is just another part of dating and that it doesn’t change your relationship status. So before you go acting like - or calling yourself - his girlfriend, take a step back and evaluate the situation and remember that having sex with someone for the first time doesn’t automatically mean they’re going to ask you to be their girlfriend or profess their love for you.

Although it’s easy to feel as though you’ve got him in the bag after sleeping with him, it’s important to remember that you’re still in the early, make or break stages of the relationship. So instead of telling him you love him immediately after sex, remember that it’s probably just hormones and endorphins and try to continue to be your cool, collected self that’s led him to keep seeing you up until this point.

Boost His Ego

Every man loves a compliment - especially after sex, so make sure you try and boost his ego a little bit after the two of you have sex to let him know you enjoyed it and want to do it with him again.

It’s common for men to feel vulnerable after sex, wondering if you were impressed by his performance, size and stamina - even if they don’t let on. However, if they’re not sure how you’re feeling, it may lead them to not contact you again out of embarrassment. After all, if you thought he hadn’t enjoyed it, you’d be unlikely to text him the next day, would you?

When it comes to boosting his ego after sex, it’s important not to go too over the top with your compliment, otherwise you might come across as being insincere and he might even think you’re mocking him. Instead, try to just keep it simple and breezy - a simple ‘wow’ will suffice and make him realise that you enjoyed it as much as he did and do some serious ego boosting.

Additionally, this will also make him think that if you’re impressed with his first-time performance, then you’re sure to be in awe of his usual show, making him want to see you again and show you exactly what he can do to impress you even more. With this one, there’s just no losing out.

Don’t Sleep With Him Next Time You See Him

If you want to see where things progress with the guy you’ve been dating and want to keep him interested after sleeping him, then making sure the relationship doesn’t become all about sex is incredibly important.

Whether you slept with him on the first date or the fifth, you should try your very best not to sleep with him on your next date to show him that you’re interested in getting to know the real him - not just the naked him.

It’s so easy to slip into a friends with benefits situation in the early stages of dating by allowing the relationship to become too sexual too quickly. The best way to avoid this is to not have sex with him every time you see him - especially after the first time sleeping together.

The easiest way to avoid the bedroom the next time you see him is to arrange a date away from both of your homes and try and avoid anything involving alcohol. After all, it’s harder to hold out after a few cocktails!

Whether you go on a countryside walk, or go to a museum - spending quality time together without having sex is super-important in the early stages of a relationship and will help the two of you to decipher whether or not you’re compatible.

After all, if you’re just spending all your time in the bedroom, then how will you find anything else out about him other than his favourite positions?

Although it might be difficult to hold out - especially if the sex was good - by doing this, the guy you’re dating will realise that you’re interested in getting to know him on a deeper level, rather than just on a sexual basis. Plus, it’ll drive him crazy in the best way possible - it’s a win-win situation.

Tease Him to Drive Him Crazy

If you want to keep him interested after sleeping with him for the first time, then you’re going to have to tease him to make him desperate to see you again (and again and again).

Whether you send him a few flirty texts throughout the day, or a cheeky picture of you - teasing him like this will not only drive him crazy, but it’ll also keep his mind firmly fixated on you and having him begging you to clear your schedule for your next date.

If you follow our previous tip about not sleeping with him the next time you see him, then teasing him will not only drive him crazy, but it will also make him realise that you’re still extremely sexually attracted to him, making him go absolutely wild.

Additionally, playfully teasing him will make him realise that your sex life doesn’t just exist in the bedroom and will increase his curiosity and interest in you.

However, be careful not to send him anything to explicit, as you risk putting him off you for good. Instead, tease him whilst keeping it classy to make him realise what a catch you really are and you’ll have him running after you in no time.

Do Something Nice for Him

If you want him to see you as girlfriend material as opposed to friends with benefits, then you need to make it clear that you’re interested in more than just sex with him. By doing something nice to him, not only will you gain major brownie points, but you’ll also make him realise what a catch you really are.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Whether he mentioned a bar he really wants to go to in passing on your last date, or just told you what his favourite chocolate bar is, acting on the things he tells you will show him that you listen to and take note of everything he says and that you’re in this for something more than a hookup.

There are a number of different things that men like in a girl that make him realise that she’s a keeper, and listening to - and acting on- the things he said is one sure-fire way to show how interested you are without coming across as too keen. If there’s one way to keep him interested after sleeping with him - this is it.

Don’t Overthink It

One of the most common reasons why men lose interest in the woman he’s dating after sleeping with her for the first time is because she becomes needy, clingy and insecure.

It’s only natural to feel a little vulnerable after sleeping with the man you’ve been dating for the first time, however, it’s important not to overthink the situation and simply take it for what it is - just the next step in your blossoming relationship.

If you start asking him whether it was good for him, or whether you he thought you looked fat, you’ll come across as needy and insecure, which certainly isn’t what you want when you’re trying to impress a man, and it’ll fill his head with negative images of you.

Additionally, if you slip into that mindset, you might start over-analyzing everything he does, such as wondering if he’s lost interest because he’s not texted you back immediately, or thinking he doesn’t want to see you again because he wasn’t available on the day you asked him out.

Once you’ve got yourself into this mindset, it’s difficult to get out of it, however, it can be completely detrimental to your relationship and push your man away - after all, he might wonder what you’ll be like in a relationship if you can change your tune so quickly after sex.

So instead of stressing out about what you looked like naked, whether he was impressed with your performance, or whether or not he might be losing interest in you - try to have some self-confidence and convince yourself that he liked what he saw and wants to sleep with you again and you’re sure to keep him coming back for more.

Make Sure You Always Make an Effort

One of the most common complaints men have about a woman they’re dating is that she stopped making an effort with her appearance as soon as she got comfortable around him.

Although it’s not all about what you look like, and you certainly shouldn’t date a man who just cares about your physical appearance - it’s important to make sure you always make an effort for the man you’re dating in order to keep him interested - just as you’d expect him to do for you.

We’re not saying you need to look your best immediately after sleeping with him, or get up early to do your hair and makeup in the morning whilst he’s asleep, but you need to make sure you still make an effort with your appearance. If you look completely different and wear your sweats with your hair scraped back and no makeup on the next time he sees you, it might make him think that you’re too comfortable and scare him off for good.

Additionally, men are competitive (and shallow) creatures. If he can see that other men are looking at you when you’re out together, this will drive him crazy, making him realise that he’s got something that other men want, meaning it’s much less likely that he’ll lose interest in you.

By following each of the tips above, you’re sure to convince the guy you’ve been dating that you’re more than just a one night stand or friend with benefits and make him realise that you’re the whole package.

So before you start getting nervous about your first time in bed together, remember that you’ve got this in the bag and you know exactly how to keep him interested after sleeping with him for the first time, so you can relax and enjoy the experience.

FAQs

How Do I Keep Him Interested After Sleeping With Him?

It all boils down to one word, it's ‘aloofness’. Once you are done, do not blow up his phone with calls and messages, keep your distance for a while. When you do talk, try not to brush the topic of commitment. Make sure all things ‘commitment’ are initiated by him.

What To Do If You Slept With A Guy Too Soon?

Truth be told, the concept of sleeping with him too soon is completely relative. So consider the fact that if you’re worried about it, he may not be worth it. In all honesty, it will not matter if you gave up the cookie on the first or the 5th date.

Should You Text A Guy First After Sleeping With Him?

Some people will say that it does not matter, but it really does, try your best to wait it out. The truth of the matter is that some unspoken dynamic has changed once you’ve slept with him. So, wait for him to come after you so you don’t completely throw off the balance.

How Do You Get A Guy Interested After You Have Chased Him Too Much?

Cut him off cold turkey, believe it or not, he will miss the attention. Concentrate on making yourself look great and basically live your life. It’ll be even better if you manage to maintain an air of mystery, it’ll drive him nuts. Soon enough, he will be back and the balance will be restored.

How Do You Tell If A Guy Only Wants To Sleep With You?

There is no clear cut way to figure this out. Some men may come off as aloof and nonchalant emotionally while pressuring you to be physical. On the other hand, some other men will wine and dine you just to get what they want. Either way, you can only know for sure afterward.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

footer logo Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected