HerNorm is a community-supported website. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Learn more.

Falling Out Of Love (13 Miserable Signs)

by Sonya Schwartz

Falling out of love is much more common than you think. It happens in most relationships at one point or another. Sometimes, you’re stuck in a rut. Other times, you’ll find that your partner has fallen out of love. That doesn’t mean that you’re doomed though. Watch for signs that they are falling out of love, and working on how to fall back in love to save your relationship. 

Signs You Or Your Partner Are Falling Out Of Love

If you’re concerned about your relationship, it probably means that something is going on. However, that doesn’t mean that he’s falling out of love

He could be stressed about work. There may be other life circumstances that show you there’s something wrong. It can be hard to tell the difference, but these signs will give you a heads up that your partner could be falling out of love with you.

1. Communication is non-existent

When you’re not feeling the love in the relationship, things start to head downhill. One of those things is the way you two deal with problems. You’ll notice that they start to hold things in instead of trying to have healthy communication about them. Instead, there’s more silence and polite small talk. 

2. Intimacy slowly starts to decline

intimacy slowly starts to decline

If there is no intimacy in a relationship, that’s a red flag that one of you is falling out of love. Intimacy can imply sex, but it’s not all about sexual intercourse. Intimacy also includes physical affection and feeling close to one another. 

Long, deep conversations are one example. Holding hands, cuddling, and giving back massages are other examples. You’ll find that when things start to head downhill, this will slowly fade away. 

3. You can’t find the issue

While the two of you may find that something feels off, it can be hard to identify the problem. Couples might try different things, like communicating more effectively, having a date night, etc. Usually, those who don’t work in this situation. That’s because when this is happening, it requires a different approach, and most people don’t always realize that this is the problem. 

4. Excitement has vanished from your life

When you’re not in love, being around a person does not affect you the same way. It no longer gives you butterflies in your stomach. Feel-good chemicals that get released into the brain when you’re in love simply aren’t there anymore. This leads to the person that is falling out of love not being as happy, or as excited about literally anything. 

5. You don’t feel attracted to them

How attracted a person is to their partner changes over time. It can change based on your mood, too. When one person is no longer attracted to the other, and it doesn’t go back to the way it used to be, that’s a big sign that someone is not in love anymore. 

6. Empathy has turned into feeling nothing

Apathy is the opposite of empathy. When you are apathetic, you no longer feel your partner’s pain. When a person feels apathetic towards their partner, they usually feel nothing when their partner is going through something. This is the biggest sign that someone is not in love anymore. 

This doesn’t always apply to emergency situations or stressful events at work. If one of you is truly apathetic, it will feel like the other person’s feelings simply don’t matter at all. This applies to being happy or excited about something just like it does being angry or sad. There’s simply no support in relationships like this. 

7. You don’t spend as much time together

When couples begin to feel like there is no love, they don’t want to be around each other as much as they did before. Instead, they find new hobbies that don’t involve the other one. Late nights at the office become the norm. Not spending time together is a huge indication that the relationship is on the way to a break-up. 

8. Disrespect

disrespect

When you truly love someone, you respect them more than you do other people. You value their opinion. There’s no name-calling or belittling. When you lose love for someone, that changes. 

The two of you will no longer hesitate before speaking out of anger, and might not even care about the other’s opinion on important topics. If you just reached this stage, consider seeking professional help. It is possible to fall back in love. 

9. You’ve emotionally checked out

Once you’re not in love with your partner, you may emotionally check out of the relationship as a whole. This will feel like your partner is a mere roommate instead of someone you’re in a relationship with. You don’t go to them with problems or spend time with them, and you don’t care to fix it. It feels like being empty inside when you’re with them. 

In this situation, the person that has not emotionally checked out will find themselves wondering what they did wrong. They’ll try to figure out if something happened, and may find that they simply can’t come up with an answer. That’s because there is no single event that led to the relationship being like this. If you find yourself trying to figure out what happened, that could be a sign that your partner isn’t full of love anymore. 

10. Patience is thinner than ever before

All those cute little things that didn’t matter at the beginning of the relationship feel like nails on a chalkboard now. The television shows they watch give you feelings of rage. The way they grind their teeth in their sleep makes you want to throw them out of the window. 

With love, comes patience. Without the feelings of love, all the patience that you used to have will slowly fade away as well. 

Keep in mind that it’s normal for people to get on your nerves. When someone is in your life every day, they’re bound to do at least one thing that you don’t like. When you’re not in love anymore, though, you’ll find that you’re more irritated towards them. You’re quick to criticize them. 

Sometimes, the reason can seem so small that you can’t believe you’re mad about such a small thing. Compare the way you used to feel to how you feel now to see if you’re just in a mood or out of love. 

11. They’re not in your future anymore

When you don’t feel the same way towards someone, you slowly stop picturing them in your life. They are in your current reality, but you don’t imagine a future with them anymore. Deep down, you’re probably making future plans without them. For example, you might: 

  • Plan future vacations without asking their opinion
  • Consider moving without them
  • Think about how nice it will be to live by yourself

Your new future fantasies include yourself or someone else, not the person that you’re in a relationship with. If you’re wondering whether you’re still in love with him, picture your future. Is he in it? Are you happy? That can tell you a lot about your current situation. 

12. Time apart feels like a breath of fresh air

time apart feels like a breath of fresh air

Usually, when two people in a relationship are apart for a long period of time, they start to miss each other. If those loving feelings full of wanting to be back in your partner’s arms have disappeared from the relationship, you might not be in love with them anymore. 

If you’re definitely not, you’ll find that it’s actually a huge relief to be away from them, and the relationship. Those feelings of missing them will quickly be replaced by feelings of happiness. If you feel better when the two of you aren’t together, it doesn’t say anything good about your relationship

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

13. You still open up to everyone else

You don’t find your work relationships or friendships to be in the same suffering state. In fact, those are doing far better than your relationship at home because you’ve started opening up to those people. They’ve slowly become your emotional support system instead of your partner. 

When you start to seek support and happiness outside of your relationship, it’s a sign that something is wrong. Continuing this means that you and your partner don’t have a strong future together. 

FAQs

Is falling out of love normal?

Yes, falling in and out of love is surprisingly normal in a long term relationship. This usually happens as people grow and mature at different rates throughout their time together. You may find that you like different things about your partner and fall back in love, though. 

Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

There are a lot of reasons that this can happen. One person may slowly not feel in love, but tell their partner one day and it feels sudden. A person might fall in love with someone else. One thing may happen that changes the way they look at their partner, and how they feel. 

Can you fall back in love with someone you fell out of love with?

Yes, you can. Usually, when this happens, you fall in love with them for different reasons than you initially did. To get that spark back in your relationship, you’ll both need to open up, enjoy more intimacy, and put forth some effort to discover love with each other again. 

How do you know you've fallen out of love?

You don’t care how the other person feels. Future plans don’t involve them. Time apart is relished instead of resented. In fact, you’ll find that most of the time when you’re together you’d rather do anything other than talking to them or do activities together. There’s no spark anymore. 

Is it possible to fall out of love instantly?

Yes, it is. Just like a person can fall in love at first sight, a person can quickly lose that feeling too. It seems to happen in a split second, leaving most people wondering what happened or what changed. However, just like any other emotion, it was simply that the emotion changed. 

To Conclude

It can be hard to tell the difference between not being head over heels for a person any more or being stuck in a relationship rut. These are sure-fire clues that you or your partner are in the first category. What else would you add to the list?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

footer logo Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected