It's perfectly normal for relationships to face challenges; I mean we’re talking about two people from different backgrounds, with different perspectives and different opinions, coming together to build one shared life.
If for one reason or the other, you’ve found yourself slipping away from your partner, unable to be emotionally available in the relationship (and even considering an escape), don't panic just yet. These things happen and can be remedied.
It's more than possible to fall back in love with your partner; however, it's also wise to consider stopping yourself from falling out of love in the first place. I believe prevention is better than a cure. Falling back in love between partners is not a piece of cake; you need to be very intentional about it.
Unknown to most, love is a verb, a practice, it isn’t a feeling; it takes ‘doing’ to make it last. If you and your prince charming feel like you've hit a dead-end in your relationship, don’t despair and don’t give up so easily. As a woman, who's been through this successfully, I’d like to give you a few tips to guide and motivate you to keep at it, because it’s a continuous process.
If you’re a strong woman, determined to make her relationshipgreat again, then keep scrolling while I take you through 15 ways to get back to the point where you fell in love with your partner again.
As mentioned above, love involves actions; most people try to focus on chasing feelings of romance and closeness instead of doing things for their significant other, just because they feel detached from them. What they fail to realize is that when you lead with action, your heart follows. Remember all the cute stuff you used to do for each other when you were dating? Revisit that.
It doesn’t have to be a massive gesture; you could start by helping them with tasks you know stresses them out, or surprise them with their favorite meal served in a different place or way. Plan something they won’t see coming, perhaps a surprise weekend getaway trip in a close-by city, just the two of you. Doing tasks like this would remind your brain that your partner is valuable to you.
I know it's ironic, but it works! Space can rekindle sparks like magic when falling in love is the aim. When issues start to get a bit sticky and weird, you both may need to put a bit of space between each other. Go visit a relative for a few weeks, plan a you-cation or even a mission trip; there’s no harm in healing the world while fixing your relationship.
You don’t need to disappear into thin air for a month or a year to achieve this, just give yourself a couple of days or a week to remember who you are as an individual. Sometimes, couples face problems because both parties have forgotten who they are and therefore have failed to grow outside their partner.
Sometimes, when you notice you're growing apart from the love of your life, it’s not due to a lack of passion but perhaps a presence of resentment. From your perspective, you may see yourself as the victim and your partner the antagonist, which most times is not the case. Falling in love is a continuous process and you can’t do that with your partner when one partner is unhappy.
Instead of allowing issues to get worse and wallowing in your bitterness, try sitting and thinking deeply for a while. Consider seeing stuff from his angle and try to find out what is he wants from you and the relationship, you'd be shocked to discover that all your spouse needed was rest or a simple hug.
Whether you're married, living together or you’re just in a long-term relationship and living apart, chances are most of the time you spend together is occupied by other matters. Areas like the children, tv, social media, work (especially if you work from home) or calls can eat up all your attention.
Disconnecting from the busy world around you to spend time, be present, and connect with your partner can work wonders in your relationship. Being present is one of the fastest ways to re-ignite feelings with your spouse because it makes you remember that you're a team and you chose each other, why stop now?
One of the best parts of finding that person you love and truly knows you inside-out is being able to unwind and be your true self around them. The truth is, it’s not just fun to goof around with your partner but it’s an essential part of your relationship. Studies have shown that couples who laugh and play together are known to be happier, maintain their spark, and stay together long-term. You need to see him as a friend, you're not just members of the same household, you're partners.
So instead of focusing only on certain feelings, try sitting back and enjoying some silly time with your spouse. If you aren't exactly the comedian, try watching comedy movies together or stand up comedy just to get you started. Yes, even humor requires inspiration.
Once in a while, especially for us women folk, we tend to get a bit touchy. Taking offense in every little thing and overthinking stuff that someone else did always ends up in a crisis. Try your best to stop this habit, make a conscious effort to let issues go, you don't have to react to every single slip up.
Check yourself when you realize you're getting unnecessarily upset with your other half. Ask yourself if what he did is a problem, especially if it’s going to have future effects, if not, flush it. Sometimes, laughing issues off in marriage is necessary to make you realize how insignificant it is.
Going about your busy everyday life, it’s easy to become blind to the value of the things around you. Yes, you're with them often or daily, but do you see the other person? Paying more attention to what they can do, how good they look lately, who they have become, and how good they are at their job, school, or parenting. This will remind you how attracted you are to them.
Don't ever underestimate the power of surprise; it keeps the excitement at an all-time high. Sometimes, all it would take to remedy your disconnect is a surprise lunch date or date night. If you're married, get a babysitter for the kids and escape with your husband for some intimate time together, just the two of you.
To make it even more fun, and to distribute the effort, take turns to plan your date nights.
Don't let the other person know the place or activities involved, make it intimate, fun, and spontaneous. You both also need to be open to each other's ideas for the date, even if it wasn't exactly what you expected, make the best of it.
Taking turns to do this would give you both the opportunity to be a bit selfish too, share something you like with the other person. This is one of the major ways you can spruce up your love life and build new levels of intimacy.
It’s normal for relationships to be rosy and exciting at the beginning, but as time goes on, being a couple could become way more routine and a bit drab. This is because, when you get used to having something or someone good around, it’s easy to take them for granted. It’s a natural occurrence, but it can be overridden if you really care about the person.
To do this, try making a list of your partner's positive attributes, it won't take you more than 15 minutes. Don't forget the little things like; ‘he took out the trash this morning’, or ‘he remembers to cuddle me every night’, they count a whole lot in relationships.
You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You
There's a reason people keep the wedding and family albums; those mementos help us relive our most precious moments. It wouldn't hurt to take a stroll down memory lane either alone or with your partner. Remember the fun vacations you took as husband and wife, the awkward moments, the spicy moments, and even the tough times you both went through and conquered together.
Your first date, first kiss, first dance, and the way he looked at you with fire in his eyes. Remind yourself that this is still the same person you fell head over heels for, and they're probably still as awesome with the same personality. The more you focus on that, the closer you'd feel to your partner.
Decluttering doesn't only help make your home space look a lot better, but it can also tidy up your marriage. What would you be getting rid of, you may ask?
Well, those little issues from the past that you held on to; careless statements made in anger, neglect, bitterness towards him about something he may not even be aware of, or even a current unsolved dispute. Couples need exercises like this to help them get in touch with that first feeling of love.
Throw them out of your mind, refuse to make your mind a garbage bin. Decluttering does not mean suppressing them or ignoring the hurt, but dealing with them and therefore looking for ways to make them a thing of the past.
The best way to do this is for you to talk extensively with your partner, talk through even the tough stuff so you can put them behind you and move onto a blissful phase.
Intimacy is a very vital part of any relationship; if there's a problem in this area, it could cause a ripple effect, and maybe the reason you feel distant from each other. If your partner has been avoiding proper intimacy or perhaps has forgotten to savor it like they used to, then you probably need to sit and have a talk with him, help him understand that it’s vital.
That connection between couples is a huge part of fostering their togetherness and keeping love alive.
On the other hand, if you are the one consciously or subconsciously ignoring or neglecting your partner's needs, then you need to woman up and do something about it. If it's started getting boring between the sheets, then change things up, do something new. Be kind enough to ask for what you like or need to keep your physical connection alive.
Showing your partner some affection doesn't always have to be sexual, this is something couples need to learn early on. There are other ways to show that you are in relationships. Of course, some physical touch from time to time during the day will do the trick.
Just because you see each other every day doesn't mean you should run at a loss when it comes to expressing love. Don't limit your kissing to the morning time when you're going off to work or in the evening when you both get back. Kiss or peck often during the day, tease each other, play silly games, tell his stories, be his friend, keep the affection alive!
Yes, it's possible to fall back in love even when issues seem to have gone bad in your relationship. All it takes is the determination of both parties. Like everything worth doing in life, rekindling your love for your partner will take a significant amount of energy and devotion.
Fake it till you make it, don’t wait to have the feelings first start by treating them with kindness, care, and love. Be selfless. Don’t do things that benefit you only, be thoughtful, and think of what he wants and what’s best for him for a change. Also, stop focusing on the stuff he’s doing wrong, try your best to notice the good stuff more.
Some people find it extra hard to fall back into love again because they tend to stay focused on the trauma and the bad times, making falling back in love near impossible. However, it's not their fault, our mind and body are both wired to protect us from past hurt so most people are too scared to allow themselves to be vulnerable again.
It's possible for the feelings of love to fade with time, even when you’re with the love of your life. Every relationship needs work to survive and that includes relationships between people who deeply and truly love each other. However, it's easy to rekindle true love that was built on truth and trust.
You’d know you’ve fallen out of love if you notice that you’ve stopped enjoying your partner’s company, you don’t want physical touch coming from them anymore, and you’re just not attracted to them anymore. You also notice you don’t think of them anymore when you both aren’t around each other.
I hope you found this write-up helpful, remember, love is more than a feeling; it takes work and effort to make it last. Give your relationship a fighting chance and put in your best. Please let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section and remember to share it.
Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.
A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!
The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…
That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.
In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.
I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.
After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.
I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.
Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.
I can’t thank them enough.