What is a daddy issue symptom, and do you think you have it?
People have used the term daddy issues loosely over the years to make excuses for sex workers or highly sexually active women. Some people also singularly believe that only women who had absent fathers while growing up have daddy issues.
However, when Carl Jung postulated the idea of Electra Complex, which is the scientific term for daddy issues, he wasn’t just referring to people who use sex to cover up their daddy issues. Contrary to popular opinion, anyone can have daddy issues, whether in romantic relationships or not.
Also, it is not only women who have parent-related issues. Oedipus Complex, coined by Sigmund Freud, is the scientific term for men who have mommy issues. As such, both men and women can experience negative feelings or extreme emotions towards the opposite sex parent.
Have you noticed a pattern in your adult life relationships that shows similar patterns with your childhood experiences?
Do you have a problem connecting emotionally with a good man even though he’s everything you ever wished for? Then you might have unresolved issues that can be traced to your relationship with your dad. This article will give you 17 signs that show you have daddy issues and tips for overcoming them.
Table of Contents
One of the most common symptoms of daddy issues is serial dating. You can be a serial dater without having dad issues. However, your fear of staying in one relationship for a long time can be because of your daddy issues. How do you know you’re a serial dater even though you’re trying to deny that fact?
You’re a serial dater if your relationship doesn’t last more than a few weeks, or months before you move on to another person. You have daddy issues if you pretend you don’t like the guys you date, especially when you desire a long-lasting relationship with them.
Your dad issues are the reason you engage only in hookups because somehow, you feel undeserving of a great relationship. You can overcome your serial dating ways by trying to make it work with a man you’re falling in love with. If he proves to be amazing, try to get over your fear by talking with a therapist who can help you through the process.
Some women who have serial relationships can commit for a while before they move on to other men. However, some women cannot commit themselves to a man for even one day. If your trust issues are so great because you’re terrified that a man will leave you as your absent father did, you have dad issues.
One way to get over your fear of a committed relationship is to first affirm that you’re worthy of commitment. Adopt positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem. Constantly tell yourself that you're sticking with the man you like, and so it is easy for you to stay with the right man too.
You should also open up to your partner about your issues. He will want to help you get through that phase if he loves you.
Do you always date older men? Then, you might be seeking a father figure you didn’t have with your father while growing up. While trying to deal with your difficult feelings as an adult, your childhood experiences with your emotionally or physically absent father can influence your decision on who you date.
You might even find yourself only attracted to married men. You do this because you subconsciously feel he'll take care of you like your father could not. At the same time, you know he’s never going to leave his family for you. As such, you’re in the same love-hate relationship you have with your father.
This kind of daddy issue requires the help of a professional therapist who will take you through the numerous steps to emotional recovery.
If your blood pressure always rises at the thought of a breakup between you and your current partner, you have daddy issues. If every quarrel or negative occurrence is a sign that your relationship is over, you need to check yourself.
Could your abandonment complex stem from your unresolved childhood issues? Could your unhealthy relationship with your father as a child be affecting the way you see common conflict or healthy arguments as an adult? If the answer is yes, you need help. If you don’t address the issue on time, you’ll have an unhappy marriage because you’ll always be on edge.
Is your mind always overworking when your man is out of your sight? Do you create unfavorable scenarios in your head the moment he leaves for work? If yes, your lack of a father’s love might be responsible for your constant anxiety.
While some men might initially think it’s cute to have a girlfriend who wants to spend every waking moment with them, they’d soon come to resent you for it when you start acting clingy.
Men want breathing space, and they won’t care that your daddy issues are the reason you act that way. Feeling insecure will affect the way you see yourself and act towards your man. You need to see a therapist who’ll help you work on your insecurities before you can have a healthy relationship.
Just as we have women who use sex as a coping mechanism against their unresolved issues, we also have women who hate physical intimacy because of the same fact.
If you avoid sex because it makes you feel emotionally attached to your partners you need to address your daddy issues. Most likely, you didn’t have the best relationship with your father when you were a child.
Most times, the major reason you avoid kissing or penetrative sex isn’t that you dislike the act, but because you fear subjecting your emotions to another person. You can get over your fear of abandonment by being transparent with your partner as to why you’re avoiding intimacy.
You have a hard time trusting the man in your life because you expect him to leave you at any time. You don’t expect much from your man because you don’t expect him to stay in your life for long. You can easily trace this negative acceptance to when your estranged dad promised to show up, but he didn’t.
Firstly, you need to be sincere with yourself and name your problems. Admit you have the problem, then seek professional help. If you try to deal with your daddy issues by yourself, you can easily fall off the wagon and go back to your distrustful self. This is bad because you’ll never learn to risk happiness in your relationships.
For some women, their daddy issues make them seek constant reassurance from their partners. If you’re always asking your partner if he loves you or finds you attractive, you should take a step back and regain your self-confidence.
Healthy relationships involve two different people confident in their abilities and attractiveness. When your man is serving as your validation crutch, you’ll be disappointed when he says something otherwise one day. Your daddy issues have affected your past relationships, they don’t need to continue doing so.
Find reasons to celebrate yourself without making others feel shitty, and you won’t need incessant compliments to validate your awesomeness.
If you’re always jealous of every woman in your man's life, it will be difficult for you to keep healthy relationships. If you also act recklessly so that your partner would get jealous too, you will create a toxic environment. Your relationship will not survive in such a toxic environment.
If you’re the kind of person who will set up your partner to cheat on you because you cheated on him first, you need help. At the end of the day, you’re taking your daddy issues out on someone who didn’t fault you.
The realization of your dirty trick will make you feel guilty, which will lead you to further dislike yourself. Instead of playing silly games, address your dad’s problems so you can enjoy a great life.
When you allow men to treat you anyhow they like because you have no boundaries protecting your interest, your daddy issues speak loud for themselves. One of the reasons you don’t create a boundary that protects you is because you don’t love yourself enough. You blame yourself for your father leaving you as a child, and that feeling stayed with you as an adult.
Also, you don’t know what self-respect is because you’re emotionally dependent on your partner. If you have an open-minded partner who has self-respect, love, and boundaries, it’s only a matter of time before he demands them from you. You can’t give what you don’t have. So, work on building these aspects of yourself.
Do you always find yourself hooking up with your toxic ex every time you break up with other men? Your daddy issues might be worse than you can imagine. Why do you think your narcissistic ex is the best rebound partner every time you break up with a great man?
Already, you find it difficult having a close relationship with your romantic partners, why add going through a toxic cycle to it? The major way to let go of this post-breakup reflects action is to stay away from that ex. He’s probably influencing your decision because he shares similar traits with your unavailable father.
Emotionally unavailable fathers create emotionally unavailable daughters. As a child, if the only thing your father provided was only financial aid, you might have emotion deficiency. Unfortunately, in the search for the opposite of your dad, you might come across exactly his type.
Logically, you know you shouldn’t date such men, but you drift towards them by default. To get rid of that toxic conditioning, you should watch out for similar traits in men, to avoid falling for such again.
It’s been established that obsessive interest in sex isn’t the only sign of a woman with daddy issues. However, it is one of the most common signs that give away someone with such issues. When you have no boundaries as to what you allow your body do during sex, you might need to get help.
Again, it is normal to be sexually explorative and engage in dad dom-sub role-play. However, you should be concerned if that’s the only way you can have sex. If your intimacy themes are always centered around being protected in a dominating way, you should see a therapist for help.
There’s a common misconception that only a woman whose father left her when she was young can have daddy issues. You can have dad issues even if you grew up seeing your father every day. If your dad was never around or attended the important events in your childhood, he was an absentee father too.
If your dad was a couch potato while your mom was the breadwinner and caretaker, you can develop daddy issues as well. The important thing to ask yourself, in this case, is did your dad’s inattentiveness or lack of participation affect the way you see relationships? The moment you’re sincere with yourself, you’ll know the next step to take.
If you’re always comparing the way you look, or your achievements with that of others, you might have daddy issues. If you didn’t get enough validation from your dad as a child, you might seek the same from your partner as an adult.
However, doing so constantly will put your partner in a tight spot. For example, when he cannot affirm that his sister is very pretty without getting into trouble with you.
When you lack adequate compassion and attention from your father as a child, you might grow up having issues with caring for others too. Even if your mother’s love seemed sufficient as a child, you might find yourself reaching for the kind of guidance only a father can give.
When you don’t find it in your nuclear family, you grow up thinking you have no reason to show compassion to others when you didn’t receive it either. If your dad is still alive, knowing why he didn’t care for you might give you the closure you need.
The height of any issue is when you feel insecure without the use of abusive substances. Alcohol, cigarettes, and other hard substances are easy to turn to when you’re too weak to face the source of your problems.
Your daddy issues need immediate attention if you’re so hurt that you can’t form any kind of relationship without the constant need to be doped up. This self-inflicted abuse will affect you in every way if you don’t check into a rehab center immediately.
A sign of daddy issues is when you’re always scared of your partner leaving you, even when there’s no reason to think so.
Your friends and family might have helpful advice for you, but seeing an expert might be the best option. A professional therapist has experience dealing with such issues, and they will be able to proffer the best solution for your case.
Daddy issues usually come out when you start attempting serious relationships.
Daddy on social media could either refer to an older man who prefers to date younger women, or a term signifying that the man is the dominant partner in the relationship.
You have abandonment anxiety if you’re afraid of committing to one person. As such, your relationships don’t last long.
You’ll be surprised at the number of women who have unresolved problems with their fathers. The levels and cases of daddy issues may differ, but your situation isn’t necessarily peculiar. Getting the opinion of a professional therapist should be your priority after reading this article.
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