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Being Nonchalant In A Relationship (27 Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

You are nonchalant when you become carefree and emotionally numb to the person you’re dating. For some, at this stage, they begin to hate or love their partner. Nonchalant people are great people too. They don't quickly get angry or upset and they have a great sense of humor. 

They care more about being happy and productive than sitting down and worrying about things. However, before you decide to be nonchalant, don't forget it is dangerous and has broken many relationships. 

When your everyday life gets overwhelming, all you do is nag every day. This can lead to emotional imbalance and increase your stress level; most of which you find out while dating your partner. You will gradually lose yourself and no longer enjoy doing the things you love. 

At this point, you can decide to be nonchalant and not let the things going on around you affect you. You are a strong woman, and it is possible to turn your eyes off everything and be happy. On that note, here are 27 ways to be nonchalant

27 Ways To Be Nonchalant In A Relationship

1. Find a way to joke about everything

find a way to joke about everything

When we talk about being nonchalant, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be happy. Also, it’s not about being easy to emotions like fear, anger, or stress. A way to go about everything is to joke about it.

For example, if you fall a glass of wine in an exquisite event, Instead of bowing your head down in shame, keep your head held high and wave it off like oh it happens. You can even throw in a joke about it.

2. No worries

One day you will die, and that’s going to be the end of the road on earth for you. Everyone has an end, so why worry about that now? Getting angry when your siblings snore at night when they sleep, is not something you can change. So, why worry about it. If you want to be nonchalant in a relationship you’ve got to have the zero worries mentality.

3. Zero shame, even if you feel it, pretend you don’t

Most times, our motive for doing things is to be socially acceptable, to feel accepted. When we do things because of general public opinion, we may become popular, get connections, and it seems like a smart move to make. 

Well, it is, but someone with a nonchalant behavior doesn’t feel shame. So if you want to be nonchalant in a relationship, you need to change your motives and do things just because you want to do them. Even if you feel ashamed, ignore that feeling.

4. Don’t take things too seriously

Nothing should be a big deal to you, no matter what. Just carry that mindset that whatever is whatever. No big deal. Nothing is worth fainting or worrying about. Some days are bad, some are good, that is life for you. 

So why worry and take life too seriously? Chill don’t wear out yourself constantly looking out for others or taking every issue to heart. Careless and the nonchalance will come.

5. Be an adult intentionally

As children, we get these anxious feelings towards issues, and when we get worried. Sometimes, we start to feel self-righteous, and we need everything to go our way. But as children, we are more verbal with our needs. However, being an adult intentionally here means you should respond to things more maturely and show less concern. 

You may send a message to the person you’re dating, and he hasn’t replied for hours. Instead of getting angry and venting, it’s better you give an ‘I don’t care’ behavior and face other activities you have for the day. This is better instead of staring at the phone all day waiting for him to reply so you can vent.

6. Show fewer emotions

show fewer emotions

When someone is nonchalant, they look more pretty twenty-four hours seven days a week trust me. They have this calm, undisturbed behavior and they show little or no emotion, and it can even look not very pleasant. But it’s not like you are a cold-hearted human being. You are just a chilling girl. It’s like you took a chill pill.

7. Yoga yoga

Yoga is a perfect means to remove that mind-chatter that many of us are suffering from as a result of anxiety and stress. It doesn’t only help reduce calories and tone muscles. It’s also a way to lower blood pressure and fix the mind mostly if you are trying to adjust your thinking style.

8. Exercise is a good way too

Not just any exercise but deep breathing one’s, they help you take control of your mind as you concentrate on your body. And you can place your focus on obvious realities like the things around you, the environment where you are performing the exercise, and not just those pent up worries.

9. Use body language

Let your body correlate with the things that you say, so you need to pay attention to your body language. Because you may be saying the coolest things, but your body is speaking a different thing, and that can give you away. 

Communication is not just in words. Everybody can see through that nonverbal behavior. So, if you are speaking or behaving nonchalantly make sure your body and words are in one accord.

10. Only your opinion counts

Careless about the opinion of others and pay no attention to their opinion about you. Everybody likes to give their opinions, whether it makes sense or not most people just want their analysis of a particular issue to be heard. 

Don’t let other people think of you. Lead your life. And remember, a guy can compliment your nails or say it’s horrible, but you will forget that compliment in no time, or will you remember it forever? Do your thing, and when only your opinion matters, everything will be more comfortable and less stressful for you.

11. Learn a unique shrug

You should develop a go-to reply when a person comes to you with spicy gossip. When the person expects you to be all excited and jump into the conversation without thinking twice, you just let it pass like nothing was said. 

12. Concentrate

Your concentration now should be your calmness and reserved behavior. No matter how your feelings go or your mood swings in a day, what should be constant with you is calmness. Even if you are very happy or struggling with any emotional stress, just put yourself together, stay calm, and resolve those emotions.

13. Don’t be too eager

don't be too eager

You want to show that you are nonchalant, so one way to do that is not reacting in an over-eager way to issues. Let others initiate plans and bring up suggestions. It would be best if you weren’t the one all excited about planning stuff and suggesting a million things at once.

Just make sure you are willing to participate in whatever they bring but don’t be the one getting everything to the table.

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14. Don’t condemn other people’s ideas

You are coming as a cool, calm person, not as a joy kill. When your partner or friends bring you ideas or plans, make sure you participate and encourage them. Let them know that you value and appreciate the things they bring to the table.

15. Understand diversity

If you understand diversity, you will learn to worry less. You are human, and we are diverse in nature. There are a lot of things going on in your life. So if one aspect of your life is not making you happy, look at the other areas of your life which you can be proud of. if one thing doesn’t work out another will. 

16. Pursue your unique path

Most people who are not nonchalant are busy following the crowd. They are doing what others think is right and good for them. The only motive behind the things they do is socially acceptable and please others but don’t be like them. 

Be nonchalant and pursue your own unique path. Make sure everything you are doing makes you happy and fulfilled. When you are unique in your motive and chasing your goals, you will understand people better, and petty things will barely get to you 

17. To be nonchalant is not a bad thing

When you call some people nonchalant, they feel bad, and they want to adjust. It’s even worse sometimes when you call yourself nonchalant as people may weirdly look at you. But it’s because they don’t understand what it means to be nonchalant. To be nonchalant is a good thing and it’s not something to feel sad or guilty about so take it with your full chest.

18. Be neutral

You may think you are nonchalant already, but it will really show in times of emotional stress and in the heights of your feelings. When you are steadily conscious of the fact that you are nonchalant, it becomes neutral, and your natural behavior comes out. So with time, you appear tougher, and it’s obvious who you are.

19. Be sensitive

When you are overly nonchalant, the people around you may feel offended and go away. Man is not an island so as much you want to build that nonchalant behavior. You need to be sensitive to your boyfriend's feelings as well so you won't lose everyone around you as you build nonchalance.

20. Be ready to be misunderstood

be ready to be misunderstood

As much as nonchalance is great, it can be a curse at times because people will misunderstand you. They may be unable to approach you and talk about stuff, so they just assume things. It can affect your relationship also because your boyfriend may start feeling distant from you. 

Even if he talks to you about it and sees that you honestly don't even care about it, it may lead to more problems.

21. Be you

This may affect your relationship in a pretty bad way but do you anyway. Miss some calls, get quality alone time, do things just because you want to do them, don't ask permission from him all the time. You don't have to be completely vulnerable just because you are in a relationship. Feel okay doing these things and let them just flow naturally. 

22. Be ready to lose your loved ones

Being nonchalant is not such a good idea, mostly if it's a new style you are forming. If your reason for wanting to go nonchalant is because of hurt or anger, don't do it. Just talk to your partner about the things that hurt you and find a way to resolve them.

When you are nonchalant, a person can hardly know when something bothers you. And you turning nonchalant can make your partner doubt your commitment and lose assurance. Just be aware that developing a carefree behavior can ruin your relationship.

23. Don't give a damn

When you don't give a damn, you are less nervous, you panic less and that space is a very fair one to connect with your partner. When you don't give a damn, things that could have been hindrances are no longer there. This is because you no longer need to play games or act cool. You are just yourself.

24. Are you forming a new character or it's your personality

Some people have always been nonchalant, and it's no longer a big deal in the eyes of others. But when you are trying to change, it becomes a situation that the people who have known you previously now have to deal with. Now if it's a new habit, what's the cause? What's the point? Is it worth it? Isn't there another way to deal with that situation? 

25. Do your style

Do only what makes you happy. Don't care what your partner likes if you love playing games then go out and play games. If you love dressing in a certain way, but you haven't been able to do that for a while, then take your time to dress well. Put on that makeup, change that hair color, get that piercing if you love to. Just be happy

26. Make constant excuses

make constant excuses

Make excuses every time you get a chance to, but at the same time, don't forget this can break your relationship. There should be a level of balance when doing this. For instance, you can't continuously derive your partner of sex and give some sort of excuse every time. Yes, don't give in to his sex demands every time, and don't say no every time either.

27. Change your mood constantly

This will help to keep you and your partner going. Even though you are trying to be carefree, once in a while, look sexy for him, take him on dates, top your sex game. If you both decide to do something together, stand by your word. Be unpredictable, this will help our relationship.


What is a nonchalant person?

This is someone who doesn't care about anyone or anything. They live a very relaxed and calm life. But this could be good or bad.

Which zodiac sign is nonchalant? 

Aries, you don't see them worrying about things they know they can't change. Gemini is always so busy chasing their career that they don't care about anything else. Libra is very diplomatic and has a nonchalant mindset. Aquarius doesn’t care about anybody at all; they just do what they love.

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What is a toxic personality? 

They complain a lot, even about irrelevant things. Also, they never see anything good in anyone. They gossip every time they have a chance to, they are proud. They are people who spend more time concentrating on other people’s flaws rather than theirs.

How do I get a nonchalant attitude? 

I gave 27 ways you can get a nonchalant behavior, but when deciding to do this, don't forget it has its disadvantages.

What does aloof mean? 

It means when you are unfriendly. You are not interested in anything, or you feel distant or apart from people. 

In Conclusion

I hope you found this article helpful. While being nonchalant, don't forget you might be hurting people in the process. Make sure you think of the outcome of whatever you decide because we all need people in our life. 

Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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