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Age Gap Relationships - What It's Like (9 Ways To Bridge The Gap)

by Sonya Schwartz

Every relationship is different. However, one relationship dynamic that seems to encourage discussion among society is one where there is a large age difference between two people in a couple. Despite that, relationships with age differences can be as successful as a relationship with smaller age gaps. Here, we look at nine ways to make an age difference work for couples that are serious about having a life together, but one person is many years older than the other.

9 Ways To Make An Age Difference Work

1. Celebrate your differences

One of the key things to do to ensure a relationship with a large age difference works is to celebrate the very differences that your age in gender is between the two of you. 

Those differences should be promoted between you both and you should see it as an opportunity to learn as much about each other as possible. You may even find that your life becomes far more colourful and interesting as a result. 

By celebrating each other’s differences you will also be learning a lot about different generations which can only help to further your understanding of society as a whole. It will also mean that you are aware of your differences and see them as a positive thing as opposed to feeling like the age difference between you only ever creates problems.

2. Learn about each other’s hobbies

Learn about each other’s hobbies

If you’re serious about starting a life together, your relationship with a person that is very different in age to you can be made stronger if you both take the time to learn about each other’s hobbies. The reason that this can strengthen your relationship is that you will appreciate the time that your partner is taking to learn about something that is important to you, as well as deepening your understanding generally of what your partner is into. 

Additionally, couples that have interests in common, often find that conversation between the two of them is easier and that there is sometimes less cause for friction. By having common ground between them, they can sometimes diminish any differences that can arise from an age gap which can sometimes cause problems if not managed properly.

3. Talk about your experiences

One of the best things that a couple with an age difference can do before they embark on a life together, is to talk about experiences that they have both had that are important to them. Just because there is an age gap does not mean that the person who is many years older is necessarily the one with more experience than the younger. 

In fact thinking in this way can be at the detriment of a couple with an age difference because it diminishes the experiences that the younger person has had. Those experiences can be just as important or valid as older persons. 

It is also simply a bonding exercise talking through what has happened before in your life. Couples who know what has gone on in their partner’s life before then also have a better understanding of why they react in certain ways in certain situations. This can again strengthen the bond and connection between two people who start to rely on each other for love and support.

4. Be direct with one another

All relationships come with problems. No relationship is perfect. As a result of age gaps or age differences, a couple can come into difficulties that arise from being at different stages in their life. 

To overcome this issue like any other issue in any other relationship, it can be a brilliant idea for a couple to be direct with one another so that they both know what is on each other’s minds at all times. 

Being direct with one another also minimises problems in the future. If couples do not talk through problems as and when they arise they can cause resentment due to them festering on an issue then becomes bigger than it needs to be. 

This is imperative for a couple with an age gap, as sometimes there are problems that can be more prevalent due to the mismatch of ages. While this is not always the case, it definitely can cause some problems for some couples with an age gap. When problems do arise from the age-difference relationships that last will be ones where both individuals approached the problem head-on by being direct with one another.

5. Know what your future could be

Perhaps the biggest problem that couples with an age difference come up against is the fact that they will want different things to each other. This is because they are both in different stages of their life. 

A younger person may want marriage and children, whereas the older person may have already been married and already have children. The older person may therefore not want marriage and kids, which may cause issues for the younger person. 

It is important therefore before embarking on a serious relationship with one another that you are clear on what you both want from that very relationship. If there are things that are very different and cannot be aligned, then it may be better for you both to walk away earlier on than later.

6. Make time for family members

A really good way to make sure that your relationship works if there is a big age difference within it is to make sure you make time for both people’s families. This is particularly the case if either person is very close to their family members or relatives. 

Additionally, if there is a large age gap there is a big chance that one of you will have children. It is important that children are taken into consideration and that their feelings are taken into account. Take the time, if children are involved to make sure that your relationship with your partner’s kids is as good as it can be or that your partner feels confident enough to encourage a strong bond with your own children.

7. Be honest about past relationships

In relationships where there is a large age difference, there is the chance that the older person has had many more serious partnerships than the younger person. Either way, it is good to be open and honest about past relationships particularly if there is an ex-wife or ex-husband involved. 

Or, it is exceedingly important, to be honest about the relationship either you or your partner has with the mother or father of their children. This is a relationship that will always be present in their life and so therefore it is good to be as constructive in making it work as possible. It’s also simply good to know about your partners past so that you can be confident about the status of your partnership.

8. Make sure you have a sex life that works for both

Make sure you have a sex life that works for both

One issue that doesn’t often come into consideration between two people in a relationship with a large age gap is the differences in libido or sex drive. A younger person tends to have a far higher sex drive than an older person. It is important that both people have their needs met sexually in a relationship. Sex is a big part of the passion and a major driver in all relationships. It is important therefore that you address any issues that come up in your sex life so that they do not cause any bigger problems further down the line. 

Be open and honest with one another about what you both want in terms of sex and make sure that you are both happy with your time in the bedroom. Passion is an important part of a bond between two people in a romantic partnership. It is therefore important to make sure you give it the consideration that it deserves.

9. Ignore any judgements from society

Perhaps the biggest problem that two people who are together with a very different in age is the judgement that they get from society. If you are serious about one another you need to get past this judgement and be able to ignore it. Remember that there are only two people in your partnership and that what society thinks of you shouldn’t matter if you are both happy.

FAQs

What age gap is too big?

There really isn’t an age gap that is too big, if both people are off consenting age and both people are happy. If you find that you are in a relationship with a significant age gap, make sure that you have all your needs met as well as looking to the future to ensure that you will be happy then too. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Do age gaps in relationships work?

Any relationships with age differences may well struggle, but not necessarily any more than other relationships with a smaller age difference. All couples have their difficulties so whether you are a younger partner or an older partner, as long as you discuss issues openly and honestly, you can be very happy. 

What is the best age gap for a couple?

There is no set age difference that is best to have in a relationship. What works for one couple will be different from another age gap that works for another couple. Plus, whilst it is more common to have a younger woman and an older man in couples, that doesn’t mean that this always needs to be the case. 

Is it OK to date a younger man?

It is absolutely fine to date a younger man as long as having him in your life makes you happy and your relationship brings you joy. That joy may well be different from what you have had in a previous relationship, but dating a younger man is more than acceptable - it shouldn’t even be an issue. 

How do you please a younger man?

Pleasing a younger man depends on what that guy likes to do in his life. If you are a number of years older than him, maybe ask him what he wants from a relationship to make sure that you are both on the same page. 

An Age Gap Relationship - How To Make It Last

Making relationships last with an age gap or not is all about communication. Additionally, couples need to resolve the problems that they highlighted during their open lines of communication. 

While two people that are very different in age may have certain common problems that that age difference can create, they still are able to work through those issues with the same constructive communication as any other couple need to rely on to be happy in the long term.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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