Do you want to talk dirty to a guy without sounding silly?
Perhaps you’ve seen women do it in a porn movie, but don’t feel like you can speak as alluringly as them?
If so, you’re in the right place because I’ve created an extensive guide to talking dirty in a way that men can’t resist.
However, before you dive into this guide, it’s important for you to read these next few sentences very carefully.
Dirty talk is one strategy to help men become more interested in you, but I’ve discovered a psychological trigger that helps them become OBSESSED.
It’s based on a little something called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. This is a part of male psychology that all men seem to connect deeply with.
Once you know how to poke at this part of his mind, it becomes easy to melt his heart and have him longing for you (click to read how I discovered this).
The best thing about it is: it’s so easy to activate this part of the brain...a lot easier than mastering the art of dirty talk, anyway.
The best step you could take to improve your dating life would be to read the story of how I discovered the Hero’s Instinct.
Then, to add a little flavor to your seduction, scroll down for my expert tips on how to talk dirty to a guy.
Table of Contents
We have all watched Sex And The City and seen Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte talk dirty and so it in a masterful way. It is time you learnt the same too. You will be happy to know that talking dirty isn't really that hard to do and most of it just means you getting over your fears of looking and sounding silly.
Learning how to talk dirty can actually be one of the easiest things to once you have read through my helpful tips and some dirty lines to get you started. One of the biggest things that stop women from talking dirty to their men is because they quite simply don't know what to say. I have listed many lines for you to try out on your man and from there you can go your own way once you know what he likes.
I bet you have heard how talking dirty to your man will make sex feel a lot sexier but do you know exactly what dirty talking is?
Dirty talking isn't just for movies and TV program mes, you can do it too. Whatever you like to call it;dirty talk, sexy talk, naughty talk or filthy talk, it is talk used to sexually arouse your partner and buildup sexual tension. The goal of dirty talking is to drive your man wild through the use of words and imagination to really heighten his sense and increase the pleasure of sex.
The power of words and how you say those words work to heighten each of his senses and will drive him to perform at his best. Couples and lovers use dirty talking mostly during sex when they can tell each other what they want while in the heat of the moment. However dirty talk can also be used prior to sex to build sexual tension which will then explode once your man gets you in the bedroom...or whatever room.
If you master the art of dirty talk, your man will go crazy for you and you will both enjoy a more pleasurable and exciting sex life. Now you know what dirty talking is, I'm going to go through why you should dirty talk, how to tell whether your guy likes it, some tips on how to dirty talk and some dirty talking lines to help you get started.
Talking dirty to your man doesn't just have the sole purpose of making him feel aroused. One of the main benefits is that it keeps him thinking of you and keeps him interested in you; especially if you indulge in role play. By using different dirty talking lines and scenarios,it will keep him on his toe sand will have him constantly thinking about what you said and how you made him felt. Having this level of interest will keep him attracted to you.
The other, more obvious, benefit is that you talking dirty to him will make him feel hot, sexy and aroused. As well as that, it will also make him feel desired and wanted which is important to a man in a relationship as men can sometimes feel needed which isn't an attractive factor in a relationship.
You will also get benefits out of talking dirty too...hotter, sexier and more enjoyable sex. What woman could say no to that!
Sexual tension is the key to a steamy sex session and there is no better way to build sexual tension that to start talking dirty to him to get him in the mood.This is made even better when you are in public when he cant do anything about it, but as soon as you arrive home he can and the sex will be great after all that sexual tension you built up.
Before you dive straight into it and start writing down all the naughty things you want to say to your man, try and find out whether this is actually something that would arouse him. Not all men are the same and so some will like dirty talking and some will cringe and could possibly even turn them off. Don’t let this scare you though and put you off; you just need to test the waters a little before diving right in.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
To test the waters to see if he would enjoy dirty talking in bed or before sex, the next time you’re lying in bed together bring up the subject of when you first met and more importantly… when you first had sex. Go into details about how you felt when he first touched your intimate areas and what you thought of him. If this arouses him and makes him want to ‘play’, you know that dirty talking is probably something he will enjoy.
If your man just joins in the conversation with you reminiscing about memories then maybe dirty talking isn’t his thing but I wouldn’t rule it out altogether. You can try other things too such as talking about a raunchy and risqué moment you had together and see if this arouses him.
Now that you know whether you guy might like dirty talking then it is time to start building up to it. First of all, consider your man’s personality; how comfortable is he when you touch him, how do he react when you try and fool around, is he conservative or does he like trying new things, how does he react when you swear? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. I know my man hates it when I swear so I know saying things like “f**k me” wouldn't go down very well with him.
Another thing you can do to build up to it is touch him more often. Couples can be very touchy in the bedroom but hardly ever touch outside of the bedroom. If you’re one of these couples then start increasing how much you touch him outside of the bedroom. This could be holding hands when out and about, sneaking in a quick hug in the supermarket, slapping him on the butt when he’s walking past you in the house, or sit on his lap to ask a question or to talk.
Before going ahead and talking dirty, make sure to practice in the mirror first (without giggling). You may feel slightly silly talking to yourself in the mirror but it will help to make you feel more comfortable for when you do it for real.
I’m sure you agree then during sex, many naughty things pass through your mind but many of you don’t voice what you’re thinking. What better time to talk dirty when you are doing the dirty and you’re already naturally thinking of dirty thoughts. This is the most natural time to talk dirty so next time you are doing the dirty with your man, say what is on your mind.
I used to keep my mouth firmly close during intimate times but with time and once I felt comfortable enough, I practiced what I preached and started to say out loud the naughty thoughts that were passing through my mind such as what I wanted him to do more off or how aroused I was feeling. I quickly realized how much more thrilling this made our sex life.
It wasn't just me who learnt from this neither, my man also started to say what was on his mind too which improved how we both perform in bed. Learning new things that we enjoy doing in bed with each other is what has kept our relationship fresh and alive.
Speaking your mind while in the heat of the moment isn't just about dirty talking it also has its many benefits such as bringing each of you closer together and improving your sex life.
One of the best ways to feel comfortable about talking dirty is through role play. Find out what scenario arouses both him and you and get to work on setting the fantasy in motion. This could be something like acting out a one night stand. Usually with one night stands, things happen fast and a lot of passion is involved. You can act out this scenario by pretending you and your guy are having a one night stand.
As you are acting out this scenario, talk him through it by telling him what you are going to do to him and what you want him to do to you. People usually let themselves go with one night stands as if they know they won’t the woman or man again, they know there is no need to feel embarrassed and will just go for it.
By pretending your man is the hot stranger who you’re about to have a one night stand with, you can indulge in this fantasy and say all those naughty things out loud rather than keeping them to yourself. I can guarantee that doing this will make the sex great and your orgasms even greater still. Whatever you want to role play, make sure to throw yourself into it 100% to get the full feel of the fantasy.
Yes you read that right! This is another role playing scenario that is a very naughty but fin one to do. Pretending that you and your man are the ones having an affair doesn't mean that yours or his fantasy is to have an affair with anyone, you want to have an affair with each other. I don’t about you, but I always feel most turned on when I’m feeling a bit naughty. If you’re like me then this will be a great scenario to play out with your man.
People who have affairs do a lot of risqué things such as doing the dirty in the office, at a hotel or in the car. You can use this scenario by suggesting risqué places to have sex to your partner. To get him to join you in this fantasy, you could say something like “if I was having an affair with you, I’d pull you in there and…” This will get his mind racing at thought of whisking into the nearby cubicle or room.
The more risqué fantasies you suggest, the dirtier the talk will be. Think of Chandler and Monica from Friends who couldn't keep their hands off each at the hospital and had sex in a closet room and tried to have sex in one of the hospital beds. They were working each other up with a lot of steamy talk which is what led to them not being able to wait. This is what you want to try and recreate.
I have spoken a lot about talking dirty during sex but it is also good to dirty talk before sex to work up the excitement and eagerness. You don’t always have to be forceful with your dirty talk neither, you can add a real touch of feminine class by whispering sweet somethings in his ear… but maybe not so sweet.
A good time to do this is if you are driving home from somewhere and want to work up his appetite for sex so you lean over and whisper in his ear “as soon as we get home, I want you to…”. The more you go into details about what it is you want him to do you or what you want to do to him, the more eager he will be and the more electrifying excitement will be in the air.
This doesn't just have to be in the car neither, it could be on a plane, in the middle of a family dinner or at church if you’re feeling really naughty. The best time to use this tactic is when he can’t do anything at that moment, either because is occupied or because you are with other people. Knowing that you want him to do all these naughty things but he has to wait will torture him… but in a good way.
Sometimes words don’t even have to be said in order to talk dirty. Being vocal, by moaning while making love, will be a massive turn on for your man. If he knows you are enjoying it, then he will enjoy it. If you’re silent, he won’t know what you’re thinking or whether you are enjoying it which will make him over think and under perform. Massage his ego a little bit but don’t go as far as to moan so loudly and ridiculously that you’re putting it on as this will also make him think that you aren't enjoying it.
Men perform best in bed when they are confident so to get the best out of your man, it’s time to stop being silent and start vocalizing your pleasure. If you aren't getting pleasure from your man then tell him what you like without damaging his ego. You can do this by moving his hand to where you want it to go and move his hand in the motion you want it to go in. You can also take charge sometimes to show the positions you like to be in.
Men want to know that they are the best you have ever had in bed and by gasping and moaning while making love will show him that he is.
Most of the time it’s not actually what you say that turns a man on, it’s how you say it. Whatever dirty thing you have on your mind that you want to tell your man, make sure you breathlessly whisper it in his ear. Dirty talk will only become dirty talk if you are confident in what you are saying and have a seductive manner. You can practice dirty talking in the mirror before trying it on your man to make sure your body language and voice all suggest you are ready to be seduced or you are ready to seduce him.
Whatever you do, don’t start giggling or acting super cute when saying it as it no longer becomes dirty talk but more of a joke and laughing matter. If you want to seduce your man with dirty talk then act dirty and seductive and not cute and girly. There is no harm in being cute and girly but there is a time and place for it and dirty talking isn't the time and place.
To be even more persuasive when whispering dirty somethings in his ear, you can also gently nibble on his ear in between words. This works like a charm and will soon have him ravish you just like you had hoped he would.
This is another role playing scenario that is popular with couples who love to dirty talk so definitely try it out. There is something about being in a sweaty nightclub full of people and loud music that makes the fantasy of being risqué become more real as you can talk dirty in the open surrounded by people with no one even knowing.
You can tell say something to your man that would in still the same feeling as being in a nightclub even if you’re not in one. You could tell how if you were in a nightclub with him, you would let him put his hands all over you while dancing or that you could build up momentum by having dry sex while dancing in the nightclub. Nobody I the nightclub would notice as they are all too busy dancing themselves to notice the dirty things you are doing to him or he is doing to you.
There is something that is sexy and dirty about nightclub which is why it makes a perfect setting for you to start talking dirty. You don’t even have to role play this scenario, why not go to your favorite nightclub and live it out for real. It would build a lot of sexual momentum and excitement for when you arrive back home.
I have spoken a lot about what to say when dirty talking but not a lot about what not to say and this is equally as important. Trash talk can be one of those things you should avoid doing unless you and your man specifically like it. This also goes for other vocals other than words such as your actions and motions during sex.
I’m sure you have watched a nude movie by now and have seen the exaggerated facial expression and moans the women make during sex. While this may work in the movie, it doesn't exactly work in real life so don’t assume that acting like a porn star will impress your man and make him aroused. It could actually be a major turn off for him.
If during sex you are making very strange facial expressions or are screaming with pleasure but he hasn't even hardly touched you yet, he is going to know you are faking. If he knows you are faking then you will damage his ego as he may think that you are faking to hide that he can’t pleasure when it isn't true. All you need to do to let him know that what he is doing is pleasuring you is make soft gentle gasps and moans.
Dirty talk should make your blush or feel naughty but it should never offend you which are what crude words can do. If you’re comfortable in using crude words prior or during sex then before you go full force into it, you need to make sure that your man is also comfortable and enjoys using crude words such as “bitch” or “dog” otherwise you could turn him off or completely offend him.
To test whether he takes pleasure from crude words, use it the next time you dirty talks and watch his reaction closely. If your man reciprocates and calls you something crude then you know he is not comfortable but enjoys it equally as much as you do. If however he is surprised at what you have just said or doesn’t say anything at all, he may not be as comfortable with it and so I would suggest stop using crude words when talking dirty.
It is known that aggression and arguments can lead to passionate lovemaking which is why everyone is familiar with “make-up sex”. Using crude words can have the same effect as this which is why some couple take pleasure in it but it is certainly not for everyone. Most people want to feel loved when making love which is why using crude words when talking dirty isn’t for everyone.
A great way to talk dirty to your man is by remembering the naughty things you have done in the past. I know me and my man when we first met were a lot more risqué than we are now that we are married and live together. However we haven’t forgotten about these naughty nights and we sometimes reminisce which usually ends up in us heading up to bed rather early.
If there is a particular raunchy memory you remember such as doing the dirty in the car or giving him oral while he is driving then whisper in his ear “I’m getting turned on just thinking about when we…”. This will get starting to think of the same thing which will lead to him also being aroused. You could even suggest living out the memory again to give your relationship a bit of a boost in the bedroom department if you’ve been together a long time.
It doesn’t even have to be a risqué moment that you can bring up, it could be the first time you even done it and how you felt when he first touched you or when you first seen every inch of him… literally. While this is dirty talk, it can also have many benefits to your relationship such as bring you closer together and keeping the excitement and interest in the relationship.
While I have spoken a lot about talking dirty when in the heat of the moment or leading up to it, we are in the 21st century and so a lot of communication is through text and email when you are both apart. You can build up a lot of sexual tension through text when you both apart so that when you come together, the passion will be through the roof.
Whatever you do, don’t bust out an X rated text in the middle of a normal conversation as it won’t look natural. Lead up to the X rated by starting with something more subtle like “wish you were here”. This should then get the conversation moving towards how much you want each other. You want him to reciprocate before starting a fully-fledged dirty talking text campaign.
Once he has reciprocated, you can then start building up to the X rated stuff. A lot of couples use emoji’s to further tell how they are feeling with the most popular one being the wink face. If he doesn’t respond to your wink face text with his own cheeky text then he may not be in the mood so I would discontinue progressing it further.
While I have given you plenty of different scenarios and tips on how to talk dirty to your man, sometimes it just helps to have a few lines to get you started. I have listed 50 lines that you can use and mix up. Remember though that it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it that will turn him on so follow up each dirty line with how you feel rather than just saying a bunch of random dirty lines. Here is my list of dirty lines:
1. You make me so wet
2. Your biceps look so sexy
3. Goodness, it feels so big
4. I love the way you feel inside me
5. Ohh… don’t stop that
6. This feels so good
7. I’m touching myself right now
8. Pick me up later... I want you to fondle me in the car
9. I’m not wearing any underwear
10. I can’t wait for you to put it in me
11. I want you right here right now
12. I had a wet dream about you last night
13. You have such a dirty mind… which I like
14. Where do you want to touch me first – you can be standing naked in front of him when saying this
15. I want you to tear my clothes off me right now
16. I’m not horny all the time, it’s just that you’re so f**king sexy
17. I love how your tongue feels down there
18. You’re such a sex machine and I love it
19. I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I’m going to do to you tonight…
20. Show me where you want me to kiss you
21. You’re such a naughty boy
22. Please take me now
23. Take me now – This is different to the line above were you are pleading; this is demanding
24. I want to have you in every room tonight
25. You make me think such dirty thoughts
26. I’ve been waiting for this all day…
27. Undress me…
28. Call me a bitch – only use this if he is into using crude words as I spoke about earlier
29. Just looking at you standing there in those boxers make me wet…
30. Oh god! / Oh yeah!
31. Tie me up and ride me
32. I want you to take me while I’m leaning against the window
33. You’re so big it hurts… but I still want it
34. Can you imagine doing this to me the very first time we met
35. F**k me like I’m your bitch / a farm animal – again only use this if he is into being crude
36. You can have all of me, but you have to pay me first – this could be a bit of roleplay fun
37. Get in deeper – you can grab him by his butt at this point and push him into you
38. My boyfriend will be here any minute – as part of the having an affair roleplay I suggested earlier
39. Punish me! I’ve been a really bad girl
40. Going down on you makes me so horny
41. Talk into my ears while you’re taking me
42. The sheets are so wet with my cum right now
43. You really know how to make a girl wet… – this is a great way to massage his ego
44. I love how hard you get when I stroke you
45. You make me feel so slippery between my thighs when you do that…
46. I like it when you do it like that
47. Pull my hair and take me now
48. I want you to cum all over my face – this can be his porn star moment
49. You make me feel like such a whore
50. Just watching you makes me want to touch myself
As well as knowing what’s good to say to your man when dirty talking, it is also good to know what lines not to use when dirty talking to your man. I have listed some examples of lines you should really try and avoid using unless he specifically likes it. If you have any more you feel should be added to the list then feel free to leave your comments at the end of this vlog post. Here are some of the lines to avoid when dirty talking:
1. “More, more, more” – He’s already doing his best so don’t ask for more when he can’t.
2. “Is that all you got, big boy?” – This can damage his ego so best to leave this one out of your dirty talking vocabulary.
3. “Screaming” – You are not in a nudie movie and screaming isn’t really the most pleasurable of sounds when making love.
4. “F##k me…” – If you are already doing the dirty then what more can he do!?
5. “Harder…” – This is the same as the first one; if he’s already doing his best then don’t ask for what he can’t give.
6. “Say something dirty to me / Call me a bitch” – Don’t ask him to talk dirty. If you want to start dirty talking then just say something dirty and he will reciprocate.
Now that you have plenty of dirty lines to use on your guy and get you started, it is time to understand how to say those dirty talking lines. What you shouldn’t do is turn to him with a silly grin and holding in a laugh while saying “I want you right now”… this isn’t going to turn anyone on. Instead turn to your man slowly, put your hand on his chest, gaze into his eyes and softly say “I want you soooo bad”… channel your inner Samantha.
First thing you need to work on is your tone of voice. You can use a deep and soft tone of voice to start building up the sexual tension prior to sex, or a more excited tone when you want to instigate a quickie let’s rip each other’s clothes off sex. As well as your tone of voice, you also need to work on the speed in which you are talking. I always recommend speaking more slowly than normal and even sound breathless (but not so obvious) when talking dirty, it is far more seductive than talking quickly.
Now that I have spoken about your voice, it is also your body language you need to work on too. When talking dirty always make sure you are facing him, have eye contact and touching him. There is no point in telling how sexy he looks in his boxers when you’re facing the other while preoccupied.
I recommend practising your tone of voice, the speed of your voice and your body language in the mirror before trying it out on your man.
I hope you really enjoyed this blog post and got plenty of dirty talking tips from it. Don’t be scared to try it out but if you are scared then practice in the mirror first…
Talking dirty to your partner as a woman might be tough because it’s not something we're used to. This is an act that should be fun, casual, and exciting between you and your partner, to show how comfortable both of you are. Be honest and sweet, and throw in filthy words occasionally to pique his interest.
Dirty talk and its implications depend on the kind of relationship you have with the other party. If you're in a long-term relationship, using naughty lines is fun and more sensual because you're inherently emotionally safe. For a one-night stand or a bed buddy, dirty talk might not be very ideal or create a stimulating environment, you please.
Dirty talk is effortless to do and doesn't demand a lot of words;
- Your pants bother me, kindly take them off!
- I want all of you, right now…
- I love how you feel in my hands!
- Just relax, and let me handle the rest…
Lovemaking is more sensual and emotional than sex. This is an act where both parties let go and let their fantasies run wild because they're comfortable with one another. Some things you can say during these sessions will be compliments of your favorite parts of their body, which will make the other feel more secure and swoon.
Guys are visual creatures, but you can affect them with your words too. To arouse your man with pure, sweet words, you can try 'I had a dream last night…', including an exciting and sexy act you might want the both of you to try. Even if you didn't have a dream, you can simply set up your fantasy as a dream and bring it to reality with your man.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!