Do you want to know how to make a guy chase you?
Perhaps you currently have no idea how men think or what inspires them to invest in a woman?
Well, that’s about to change.
By the time you’re done with this article, you’ll understand how to make guys flock to you like moths around a flame.
It features 25 proven ideas to make a guy chase you, based on how the male mind works.
However, before we dive into these ideas, I need to share this story with you.
I used to be terrible at keeping men’s interest.
Throughout my youth, I was the classic ‘bit of fun’ that men would fool around with then kick to the curb.
It was painful.
Thankfully, by taking the time to understand male psychology, I was able to turn this around.
My most treasured discovery was called ‘The Hero’s Instinct’.
This is a barely-known element of male psychology, but it would appear to be held dearly by men of all ages, races and cultures.
When this primal psychological trigger is activated by a woman, it can release intensely joyful emotions within a man. Naturally, he begins to feel a lot closer to the woman who can make him feel this way.
It’s too complicated to fully explain the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ in this post, but I rank it as the #1 reason I was able to begin attracting amazing and successful men to enjoy long-term relationships with me.
To truly understand how it works, I recommend you read my full journal, explaining how discovering the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ made me irresistible to men.
If you’re struggling to keep men’s interest, I’d urge you to prioritise reading that guide.
Below, I have listed another psychological 25 ideas to make men begin to chase you.
Let’s delve into the male psyche. First of all, how do men see the world?
Men are focused on the goal, on the win. It boosts their ego to score a victory over their opponents. Now, winning an elusive goal gives them greater self-esteem.
So if something is easily attainable it won’t seem like such a worthy win. If anyone can get it it’s not so much of a prize. Men want what nobody else can manage to achieve or get. This applies to women:
“Many men find the chase exciting and it strikes their ego to feel they're the one who is finally going to get her attention - and into bed. Add to this the fact that men are very goal-focused and an elusive goal can seem all that much more interesting.” Dr. Pam Spurr – Relationship expert
If a man has to work at a project he’ll value it more. If it comes gift-wrapped on a silver platter he won’t. Men like to think that their efforts are rewarded.
They are doers and as such, like to see the results for their efforts. If they get something for nothing they don’t think much of it. They’d rather work hard and cherish what they’ve earned.
If you want a man to chase you make sure you are the woman guys have to work hard to get.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Now male psychology isn’t the only trick up my sleeve to make a guy chase you. We can also use general human behavior.
I’d like to ask you a question. There are two dresses available. In one style there are thousands of dresses available to buy, in the other case, there is only one left to buy. Which dress do you want? Research suggests we want the one that’s rare, not the one that’s easily available.
This theory extends to our partners. It’s a case of supply and demand. It explains the huge waiting list for Hermes handbags or La Mer face cream.
“Almost everyone - men and women - put a certain added 'value' on to something that's not easily attainable. This is why it can feel so good to save up for something like a special dress or handbag - and when you get it just feels priceless.” Dr. Pam Spurr
But attraction isn’t just about the elusive prize at the end of a chase. I remember working in a firm and there was a guy working there who was drop dead gorgeous. Every girl fancied the pants off him. He had a classic movie star looks. And he was single!
It became a race to see who could bag him first. All of the office girls took their shots. He dated a few girls but not me as I was already in a relationship. I did, however, chat with him.
My goodness, he was a dreadful bore. He had a monosyllabic way of droning on. He never asked you questions about your life. He had nothing interesting to say ever. He had obviously relied on his good looks all his life.
So what I’m saying is that it’s not all about being beautiful or pretty or attractive. Attraction is all about personality. Now, before you say ‘Oh come on that’s a cop out. We say someone has a nice personality when they’re not particularly attractive’, hold on a second.
I’m talking about the way we perceive other people. Let me explain. Have you ever been told that some guy likes you and immediately your feelings towards that guy changes? Now, he hasn’t actually done anything. He hasn’t changed his hair, his physical build, his job. But you perceive him in a different way.
Let me give you another example. You have an aunt that always criticizes your outfits, the job you do, your life choices. How do you feel when you visit her? Do you like spending time with her? I’m guessing not. And if you don’t like spending time with someone it’s likely that you don’t really like them as a person.
So, getting back to the attraction. What attracts us to a person? It’s the way we feel when we are with that person. Now, this is a very important point. Because it means we have the power to influence how a person feels when they are with us!
Obviously I’m not talking about lying and cheating to get someone to like you. I mean using male psychology to your advantage. And not just to know how to get the guy you like, but how to get the guy to like you.
Of course, everyone is different. But as I said at the start, there are basic rules of attraction that every man agrees on. So let’s start with physical attributes. Although I’m not advising anyone to change their physical appearance, you can enhance it to improve your chances of getting noticed.
The color red is associated with lust and sexuality. Even a dash of red lip gloss across your lips is enough to make a man notice you. He’ll be unconsciously reminded of sex and be attracted to you without knowing why.
Guys don’t tend to go for the full-on makeup look. They prefer a more natural look. After all, if they are picturing themselves kissing you, they won’t be able to with a ton of lipstick on. Just a touch to highlight your features is enough.
Men are attracted to shiny, clean, and longer hair. This is because it is a sign of fertility. It also signifies health and vitality. This goes back to evolutionary psychology where males looked for a fertile female to produce healthy offspring.
Happy people are more attractive in general anyway, but good teeth show that they take responsibility for their own health and wellbeing.
The very first thing you have to do is stop chasing him. This is the worst thing you can do. It will put him off instantly. No one likes being chased, not men or women. But particularly a man. That’s his job. Not only does it make you look desperate but it makes him look less of a man.
You’re essentially taking the masculine role from him. You’re telling everyone he doesn’t have the cojones to chase you. You are emasculating him in front of his mates and his family. Remember that dress? You’re one of the thousands now, not the rare one. Remember, men want to chase.
I know you are a modern woman that loves sex as much as men do but you have to make him wait. Unfortunately, we still live in times where men place a certain degree of importance on how quickly women have sex with them. So you’re going to have to act a little coy and delicate for a while.
The thing is, you’ve got to make yourself that rare commodity. Because if he gets you straight away you won’t be that prize to chase anymore. He won’t have exerted any effort to win you. You just laid there and he took you. Make sure you make him wait.
I remember when I was younger and I had a first date with this gorgeous guy from a shopping center where I worked. We got our drinks and he asked me to tell him about myself. Well, I got straight down to all the problems with mental health and the struggles I’d been having. He listened and empathized.
I never saw him again! What I’m saying is keep the drama out of the first few dates. Don’t tell him everything at the start. You’ll only frighten him off as I did. After all, how would you feel if someone you’d just met started telling you intimate details of their lives after 5 minutes?
My friend had a boyfriend and I couldn’t see what she saw him until he spoke to me. He looked directly into my eyes when he talked. It was if he was delving deep into my soul. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
He wasn’t especially good looking or fit, but the way he made you feel as if you were the most important person in the room was spellbinding. What I’m saying is that we all love attention. We all like it when someone genuinely listens to us. Moreover, we find it attractive. So focus on your guy and draw him in.
Of course, we can’t all be wisecracks like Joan Rivers, but we can be upbeat and talk about fun things. We can also laugh at men’s jokes. We can focus on the positive in life. We can try and play down the negative and try not to always talk about our problems.
You might have heard that men don’t date women with a sense of humor but you’d be wrong. Men love funny women because they have fun with them. In fact, men chase funny women because they feel good with them.
Want to make a guy chase you? Make sure you laugh lots!
What attracts you to other people? Do you want to spend time with the person who sat by themselves in a corner with their head in their hands? Or the one who is up, dancing, laughing, and having a great time with their friends? If you want to make a guy chase you then show him you are happy.
We are drawn to positive, happy people. Of course, we are! But you’d be surprised at the number of people who concentrate on their guy’s lives instead of their own. Think about it for a second. What do you look for in a man? Someone strong, independent, well-balanced, and happy. Well, that’s what they’re looking for too.
Sometimes the old adages are actually true. When you stop looking for someone they just happen to appear. This is because when we focus on ourselves we are making the best of our lives. And we shine without knowing it.
We are sending a powerful message out there that we don’t need a man to complete us. That we have a fulfilling life and that any man that wants to be a part of our lives has to be worthy. That’s a red rag to men. That’s a contest they want to win.
Lots of women don’t like the trick of ignoring a man because they worry he’ll lose interest. However, in the short-term, it works. The trick is to act as if you don’t really care whether he talks to you or notices you. Remember that fabulous life you’re leading?
You haven’t had the time to notice what’s going on around you. You’re not like the other desperate women who are searching for a husband. You’re different. And that’s what guys are looking for. Ignoring him makes you the woman that stands out from the rest.
Obviously, if you keep ignoring him he’ll eventually get the message that you’re really not interested and he’ll back off. So at some point, you’ll have to ease up. The trick is to not bombard him with questions about his life.
Just ask him a few things and tell him a couple of details about yourself. But leave some things hidden to maintain an air of mystery. For example, if he asks what you do for a living keep it vague.
You’d be surprised at the number of women who don’t know how to flirt. Flirting is a fun way to let someone know that you’re interested in them. You are using sexual undertones to suggest that you like this guy but you’re keeping a distance between the two of you.
You can be as innocent or sexual as you like. Flirting allows you to give him the signal that you appreciate his advances and that you’re open to his suggestions. Easy ways of flirting include playing with your hair, twiddling a swizzle stick in your drink, and fiddling with a necklace.
What makes a man chase a woman? Think about what attracts you to a guy. It’s the simple things like whether he has good friends and strong family connections. Is he kind to people, does he show empathy, is he patient, is he passionate and loving?
Believe it or not, men also look for these kinds of qualities in a woman. Sure, they are visual creatures but that only gets you past the first stage. They’ll be quite happy to sleep with you, then they’ll move on looking for a girlfriend. Someone they can take home to the parents. Show him your heart and soul and you won’t have to do anymore.
I’ve said before that men are goal-orientated. So if you present yourself as a prize-worthy of winning you’ll definitely catch their attention. Surrounding yourself with other guys is one sure-fire way of making a guy chase you.
Of course, I’m not suggesting you go around sleeping with dozens of men. But some harmless flirting and placing yourself in the center of attention will catch his eye. He’ll see that you’re hot property. That every guy wants you. That makes you the prize worth winning.
The opposite of acting like a prize worth winning is acting desperate. No man wants to end up with the booby prize. And that’s exactly what you are when you chase after a guy. You might think that if you don’t stay in the picture he’ll forget about you and move onto someone else.
But think of it this way. How would you feel if a guy texted you every 5 minutes? Or if he kept calling you or showing up at the same clubs or bars you did. If he kept hanging around and wanting to go home with you? You’d get pretty fed up and pretty soon. Make sure you’re not that woman constantly in touch.
Human beings like the mysterious. Don’t believe me? In a study men were shown two images; one was blurred and the other one was in focus. Most men preferred the blurred image! We want a bit of mystery! So leave some things to the imagination and your man will want to chase you to find out more.
This is incredibly important. Did you know that only 7% of communication is verbal? In fact, 55% of communication is through our actions and 38% through how we speak. So it’s important we recognize the signs. One thing you can easily do to get a guy to chase you is to mirror what he is doing.
Mirroring is something we do without thinking when we like a person or when we want to get closer to them. For example, we might cross a leg over the other, or rest our head on a hand. We might lean back in our chairs or fold our arms across our chest.
Did you know that we find honesty more attractive than intelligence or independence? In studies, students were asked to rate the physical appearances of men or women after they’d read descriptions of their intelligence, independence, and honesty.
The study revealed, "...the honest target, as opposed to the dishonest target, was seen as being more fit and in better health and as having a face that looked more kind, feminine, and attractive." So be honest if you want to make a guy chase you.
You might think that this is a rule your parents told you to stop you from getting into trouble. But actually they told you to play hard to get because it increases your value. This isn’t about playing mind games.
Remember those dresses? We covet the things we can’t have, not what’s readily available. It’s human nature. We place a higher value on the things we have to work harder to get. So make yourself one of those things he has to work for.
Men expect women to act in a certain way in certain situations. So it can be quite refreshing when they do something different. For example, a guy approaches you at the bar and asks to buy you a drink. He’s very handsome and every girl has their eye on him.
You dazzle him with your sexiest smile and politely refuse, telling him that tonight you’re out with your girlfriends. Not only will he be shocked but he’ll also be impressed at your loyalty. You’ve just become someone he wants to see again.
This is a really good way to make a guy chase you using male psychology. I talked earlier about attraction revolving around how we feel with certain people. Negative people make us feel down and depressed.
On the other hand, people that compliment us boost our self-esteem and make us feel good about ourselves. That has a knock-on effect on our feelings towards them. Of course, be subtle about it, you don’t want to create a big-headed egomaniac.
This tactic isn’t so much male psychology, more human behavior but it does work. Research has shown that a ‘group's physical attractiveness is greater than the average attractiveness of its members’.
So if you have good-looking friends don’t worry that the object of your affections eye will start straying towards one of them. It is more likely that he will subconsciously add the collective attractiveness together. This is because human beings can only process a ‘handful of objects at once’.
So to make sense of the incoming information we group details together and pay attention to the most relevant information. So go out with your attractive girls and have fun!
You have to have the kind of life he wants to be a part of. So follow your dreams, embrace your passions, and live for yourself. Then he’ll be attracted to you and he’ll consider you a worthy prize that he wants to chase.
Match his texts, so, if he sends long messages so should you. If he sends emojis you should too. Send a question that he needs to answer, have a reason to text and don’t respond to him immediately.
Mirroring someone’s actions helps build a bond of trust and affection. Surround yourself with positivity so that he associates you with good and decent attributes. Focus on building the kind of life that he’s going to want to be a part of. Not one that you want him to fill.
Stop communicating with him and if he calls or texts don’t answer straight away. Always end the conversation first and stay off social media. Be mysterious. Don’t tell him everything on the first date. Don’t kiss him on the first date. Leave him wanting more.
Be spontaneous and open to new experiences with him. Always be positive and supportive, be his shoulder to lean on. Express gratitude for the things you have in life. Live in the moment and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
So what have we learned about how to make a guy chase you? Well, it turns out they’re not that complicated after all. Basically they just want relationships with women who respect themselves. Someone who is independent, confident, has a sense of humor, and doesn’t take themselves too seriously.
Someone who takes care of themselves who is naturally attractive who appreciates their family and friends. A person they can chill out with and be themselves with. Not that complicated when you think about it!
I hope you enjoyed my take on how to make him chase you. I’d love to hear your comments.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!