It's always nice to have a boyfriend that cares about you, but how do you know if your boyfriend's affection is bordering on obsessive?
Maybe you feel overwhelmed with affection, but also you feel guilty about this?
Perhaps you haven't addressed this with your boyfriend, because you're not sure whether his behavior is OK or normal? It's nice to feel wanted, after all.
If you're in this situation, please keep reading because you're about to discover my list of signs that a boyfriend is being obsessive. A relationship with an obsessive boyfriend could eventually turn toxic or even dangerous, so it’s important to know these.
The first thing to do is: download this online communications tracker.
It'll discreetly connect with his web-connected devices and send you information based on his communication habits.
You'll find out who he's getting in touch with, what online services and apps he's using, plus a lot more.
While this may seem like something an obsessive person would do themselves, this is the most accurate way to get to the bottom of how this guy really feels about you.
Crucially, discretion is guaranteed also. So, he won't find out his girlfriend is tracking him. This could be the key to discovering the root of his obsessive behavior, so I'd urge you to learn more about this tool now.
With that said, let's explore the clearest signs that your boyfriend has crossed the line from loving to obsessive.
Table of Contents
If your man is always in contact with you, whether that be ringing you throughout the day or texting you multiple times an hour, he could be obsessed with you. It’s normal for your man to send texts to you a few times a day and maybe call to check in with you or say goodnight, but it’s not normal for your man to be blowing up your phone all day every day.
If your man also gets annoyed when your texts aren't fast enough or you don’t answer your phone fast enough, they’re most likely obsessive.
It’s fairly normal for lovers to spend quite a lot of time together, especially when they’re beginning to date and in the honeymoon stage. However, it’s not normal for someone to permanently be stuck to your side.
In healthy relationships, both people spend time together, and then by themselves seeing their friends and doing what they want to do independently. It’s important to spend some time apart, not only so you can do what you like, but so you can also appreciate the time together more.
Your man should never be attached to you, and if they are always wanting to be by your side, it’s a red flag - there’s a problem!
When you’re apart from your man, does he always want to know where you are? Maybe he’s constantly ringing you to check who you’re with and what your plans are?
Unless you actually want to tell your partner everything and want to let them know where you are at all times, your partner should never have to know where you are 24/7. If your boyfriend has to know where you are all of the time, it’s a worrying sign that he’s become possessive over you.
Your man turning up and surprising you some of the time is adorable and romantic, but if your boyfriend is constantly surprising you with his presence, it’s concerning.
Rather than being a one-off romantic gesture, if your boyfriend is surprising you a lot, this likely means that he is following you around and knows where you will be and when which is very similar to the behavior of stalkers and is one of the ways that he can continue to be obsessed with you.
Although you might be in a relationship, if your man is constantly telling everyone that you’re ‘his’, it’s most likely because he wants everyone to know that you’re not on the market and that you’re committed to being in a relationship with him and only him.
If he’s speaking about you like this, it means that he thinks of you as one of his possessions - you’re something that he owns, rather than someone that’s in a loving relationship with him, which is obviously unfair and unhealthy.
It’s normal for your boyfriend to like your posts on social media and occasionally comments on them, but if your man is very active with commenting, liking, and reposting your posts, as well as constantly posting photos of you and showing you off to the world, it’s because he wants everyone to know that you’re in a relationship with him.
This is another sign that clearly shows his obsessive and possessive behavior.
If somebody is being obsessive, they won’t want anyone spending time with you, not even your family and friends.
Whenever you see your loved ones, you’ll notice that they get very jealous, sometimes even creating problems and situations to stop you from spending time away from them. They might even badmouth your closest family and best friend to you, or emotionally manipulate the situation between you and your loved ones so you spend less and less time with them.
If your boyfriend is obsessed with you, you’ll notice that you very rarely spend time with him in the presence of other people. For example, you’ll rarely hang out with your friends and him all at the same time, you’ll not attend parties or events together, simply because he wants you all to himself.
His obsession with you and you only, so he won’t want anyone to interrupt or take away from the time you have together. He’ll especially not want to spend time with you around other men.
If your boyfriend seems to know things about you that you’ve never mentioned to him before, whether that be where you went on holiday three years ago, what your favorite band is, who your last relationship was with, or what your cousin is called.
It doesn’t matter exactly what your man knows, but if he knows things that you’ve never mentioned to him before, it’s probably because he’s been stalking you and obsessing over you and your life. It’s a really horrible feeling to know that your man has been diving deep into your life before him - it’s uncomfortable.
People that are obsessed are also extremely jealous, as mentioned briefly above. So, if your boyfriend has an obsession with you, he will not only display signs of jealousy, but he will also accuse you of being unfaithful. Something as small as hanging out with a male friend or speaking to a guy on the street might trigger him to accuse you of cheating on him.
He will be doing this because he not only wants to emotionally manipulate you into feeling like you’re in the wrong, but he will also be doing it because he’s scared of losing you to somebody else because he treats you badly and probably knows it. No one should have to deal with this in a relationship.
If your man is obsessed with you, they might go as far as asking you to install a tracking app, or they might even install a tracking app on your phone without you knowing.
This is extremely unhealthy and dangerous. Unless you have agreed (out of choice and preference) to have a tracking app on your phone, your man should never have to know where you are at all times or be able to track you.
An obsessed guy might ask for passwords to your phone, social media accounts, and email accounts, or they might even try to access them without your knowledge. In a healthy relationship, there’s no reason at all for your man to know your passwords or have access to any of your personal accounts.
If your guy is asking for these things or attempting to access your accounts, it’s definitely one of the most obvious warning signs - you shouldn’t be in a relationship with this person.
If your boyfriend is obsessed with you, they will most likely be emotionally manipulating you. This means that even when he acts inappropriately and does things that are completely unreasonable, he will spin the situation and make it seem like everything he is doing is for your benefit.
He will never take the blame or apologize, even when he is in the wrong, always leading you to believe either you’re in the wrong, or he’s acting the way he is for your benefit.
It’s common for people who are obsessed with somebody to gaslight them. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one partner makes the other feel like they’re losing their sanity and going ‘crazy’.
Gaslighting is used as a way to manipulate their partner (more appropriately called, victim) into always needing them and relying on them, making them stay in the relationship with them.
You should always stay away from a guy that calls his ex-girlfriend crazy, because most of the time, these guys are actually the ones that have the issues, and try to hide it by pushing it onto somebody else - once again, never taking the blame. If you always find your guy talking about his ex-girlfriend badly, or saying in particular that she was ‘crazy’, it’s not a good sign.
If you do anything that your man doesn’t agree with or appreciate, does he threaten you, either emotionally or physically? If he does, it could be that he’s obsessed with you and he’s trying to keep you ‘inline’.
He will try to control your every move, but unlike a possession that your man will be able to control, you are a person, with your own mind and own ability to do anything, so he will find it very difficult to deal with.
If you ever try to leave a boyfriend that’s obsessed with you, he will most likely threaten you, either emotionally or physically, or he will threaten you by saying that he will harm himself. He is trying to control you to stay in the relationship, not only by scaring you into staying with him but also by making you feel guilty if you leave.
This is abusive behavior and it should never be tolerated.
If your family and friends are concerned with your partner’s controlling and obsessive behavior, it’s a sure sign that your guy is obsessed. Your family and friends are the people that know you best, and if they think something is wrong, then it most likely is, so take their advice and concern seriously.
If your family and friends haven’t yet said anything about your partner’s actions but you’re concerned about them, speak to one of your closest family members or your best friend and see what they think.
One of the most obvious signs that your man is obsessive is if you feel like you’re being smothered by them.
If you’re getting frustrated that your guy is always by your side all the time, always involved with everything you do, always trying to be in contact with you, constantly giving you hassle you about spending time with a friend, and emotionally manipulating you, it’s a sign that you need to leave the relationship, or seriously sit down with them and tell them that the way they act is wrong.
All you need to do at first is talk to them and explain how they make you feel uncomfortable and how things need to change if you’re going to continue to see each other. If they notice everything you say and they genuinely start to work on giving you space and reducing the severity of their obsession with you, then that’s great. However, if they react badly, threaten you, or beg for you, they’re probably never going to get better, and the best thing you can do is leave them and remove them completely from your life.
There’s a big difference between obsession and love. If someone is in love with you, they will want to make you happy, they won’t want to change you, they will trust you, support you and accept you for all of who you are. When someone is obsessed with you, they’ll exhibit jealousy, they’ll be forceful, they’ll be possessive, they’ll emotionally manipulate you, and be obsessed with the idea of you. The fact is, they’re in ‘love’ with the idea of you rather than being actually in love with who you are.
When someone is obsessive, they don’t actually have true feelings or experience real love for the person they’re obsessed with. Instead, they have taken this person and made them a ‘thing’ in their mind to obsess over. They will emotionally manipulate the person that they’re obsessed with, become possessive over them, and make them the most important part of their life. It’s really important to say that obsession isn’t loved.
Obsessive love is actually a personality disorder that some people suffer from, and it makes that person feel like they’re overwhelmingly in love with someone, to the point where they become possessive, jealous, and manipulative. This type of ‘love’ is synonymous with emotional manipulation and abuse.
If you think you have obsessive love disorder, take a look at the signs in this article and see if they apply to you. Are you always asking your man where he is? Are you constantly surprising them? Are you possessive over them like they’re a thing? Do you feel like you get jealous when they’re around other people? Are you genuinely giving your significant other a good life? Go through the 19 signs in this article and see how many signs you actually exhibit. If you exhibit even some of them, you could be obsessed.
Hopefully, this article will have helped open your eyes to understand what obsession really is, and how you can tell if your man is obsessed with you. Just remember, this kind of love isn’t real love, so don’t fall for it. Stand up for yourself and never let anyone treat you badly or mess with your life. We all deserve to experience the feeling of real and true love in life.
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