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Transparency In A Relationship: 11 Secrets To Relationship Success

by Sonya Schwartz

Transparency can help you have the healthy relationship that you want. However, it’s not something that most people have. Spouses that want to see each other’s phones are judged and considered controlling simply because they are feeling insecure. 

People hide financial habits from one another. Laughing about it behind their spouse’s back has become the norm. This can lead to a strained relationship that is full of problems. Being more open with one another, however, can lead to a relationship built on trust and honesty. 

How To Have Transparency In A Relationship

Most people think that transparency means being brutally honest about your feelings. While being honest is important, it’s also important to consider the other person’s feelings when talking. There is a lot more to being transparent in a relationship than giving your partner the cold, hard truth or explaining every grueling detail of your workday. 

These tips can help you have healthier relationships.

1. Focus on honesty

focus on honesty

One of the most important things that most couples struggle with is being truthful. When you hide things from your partner, you’ll find that it slowly spills over into the entire relationship. Instead, always be honest, even if the truth might hurt their feelings. 

Often, we do this for our own personal interests. It doesn’t do our partner any favors. Don’tlie to protect them. You also should never lie to avoid conflict. 

2. Be emotionally transparent

When you are honest, it also means no more lies about your feelings. When you’re feeling emotionally distant, you need to be honest about why. Explain to your partner if you are having work and life issues, and how it’s affecting you. When you do this, it can help you and your partner work together as a team. You’ll quickly start to see intimacy grow in your relationship. 

Some couples struggle with this step in particular. Often, this is because of a miscommunication between two people. One person may invalidate the other person’s feelings. Often, couples create an environment that is not emotionally safe. It can lead to a breakdown in communication, and in both people not feeling comfortable working through their problems. 

If you see this pattern in your relationship, consider seeking help from a professional therapist. Couples therapy can go a long way in helping two people learn to talk to each other about both problems in the relationship and their feelings. 

3. Share thoughts and feelings

In healthy relationships, both people are able to share what’s going on inside their heads. Close relationships evolve over an extended time period of two people being able to do just that. Talk to your partner about your daily life. Practice active listening skills when they talk about theirs. This can go a long way in helping you both build transparency in the relationship. 

4. Deal with defensive feelings nicely

While you and your partner work on expressing yourselves and sharing, there are going to be times that one of you feels defensive. How you react to those feelings can have a significant impact on your relationship. 

Use effective communication. Practice using “I” statements to discuss how your partner made you feel. Then, work through those issues as they come up instead of letting them fester. 

5. Provide an emotionally safe environment

provide an emotionally safe environment

Feeling defensive is only one barrier that couples face when attempting to be transparent. Partners need to be able to feel safe opening up. That means that both partners should avoid criticizing their partners when they open up. Don’t nag or gossip about what is said. 

For example, if your partner is having trouble with a financial matter, it’s important to let them know that you don’t judge them for making a decision you would not have made. Avoid telling them what they should have done. Instead, support your partner and provide them with the love that they need. Simply listening is a great idea. 

When your partner knows that they can discuss things without you making negative comments, you can both reap the positive benefits of having a transparent relationship. You’ll find that you’re closer, you have a best friend, and that you both have an unbreakable bond. 

6. Trust builds transparency

The more both of you trust each other, the easier it will be to be transparent with one another. This is because you feel safe telling your partner things, and vice versa. 

It’s important to note that trust tends to come and go in relationships. It also isn’t always the same with both people. While you may trust your partner, they might have a hard time trusting you. This can result in them not being as transparent with you as you are with them. 

7. Consider couples counseling

Couples counseling is a wonderful idea for every couple. It can help you strengthen your relationship by building both trust and transparency. Couples can also learn healthy communication skills and how to work through problems in their relationship. 

8. Be honest about yourself

Not only should you be honest about what you do, but you should also be honest about who you are as a person to enjoy a happier relationship. So many people wind up in relationships only to discover that they are dating a person with things they simply can’t deal with. 

If you have cancer, be open about it. Be open with your potential partner about yourself. On the flip side of that, they should be able to receive what you say without judgment or negative comments. 

9. Use a filter

Just because you need to be honest doesn’t mean that you have to be mean. While maintaining your honesty, you’ll need to use some tact. Make sure that you’re nice so that you don’t instantly make your partner feel defensive. 

You want to treat these conversations as you would other social interactions. When you’re speaking with a friend or even a stranger you wouldn’t instantly talk about everything that you think. You can lose a lot of friends that way! Do the same thing with your partner. 

10. Don’t hide accounts

When your partner has all of your passwords, it shows that you have nothing to hide. You also won’t be able to sneak around behind your partner’s back. They will instantly have access to all of your social media accounts, bank accounts, etc. 

This means that you won’t be able to hide things from your partner, too. It means that you are instantly transparent about things. It can work out well for couples that are trying to work through things together. While some view this behavior as controlling, being transparent like this can actually strengthen relationships. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

11. Try not to mistake transparency for control

try not to mistake transparency for control

We have all heard of controlling relationships. In these relationships, one person requires that the other one check in. They demand access to their social media accounts. This is, in fact, controlling behavior. It’s also why people often mistake transparency for controlling or abusive behavior. 

The primary difference is that most people in transparent relationships agree to these arrangements. It’s not because they feel obligated. Instead, people feel safe letting their guard down so that their partner can be that involved in their lives. 

FAQs

What does transparency mean in a relationship?

Transparency means that no one hides things from the other person. They do not hide their emotions or feelings. There is honesty regarding the good and the bad. Some people have joint accounts or give their partners their passwords. It’s important to note that couples should still use a filter, even when they are being honest. 

How can I make my relationship more transparent?

Share bank account information. Don’t lie or hide things. Tell each other how you feel while still being tactful. Don’t keep your guard up. Talk about everything with one another, and do this often. Share deeper concerns. Avoid making negative judgments about one another. 

What does it mean to be transparent with someone?

It means that you are not hiding a single thing. You do not lie or do things behind your partner’s back. You also make sure that you are honest about your feelings. This means bringing up things that bother you. It can require you to be vulnerable about yourself, your fears, and your desires. 

What's the difference between transparency and honesty?

Transparency means that you do not hide anything. Honesty means that you do not lie about anything. To most, these are the same thing. However, when couples are transparent with one another it means that they share things without being asked. They open up emotionally about things that are bothering them, too. 

Is it ever OK to look at your partner's phone?

If you and your partner are practicing transparency, there is nothing wrong with looking at each other’s phones. However, you need to make sure that you both have agreed to this. It’s not okay to go behind your partner’s back to look through their phone. This is sneaky behavior that can cause problems in the relationship

Conclusion

Transparency can benefit both people in a relationship. It’s shown to increase trust and longevity in marriages. How do you feel about two people being transparent in a relationship?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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