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Spanking Your Husband (The Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide)

June 27, 2024

At the mention of the word “spanking”, what might come to mind is the picture of a stubborn child whose parent slaps his bottoms for misbehaving.

However, spanking, here, is used for the purpose different from this perspective.

Similar to talking dirty to your husband, spanking your husband can help create excitement, rekindle love, and getting the best out of a relationship.

Husband spanking has been dubbed by many health experts to be one of the ways in which you- as the wife- can get to add spice to your relationship, keeping intact the respect, loyalty, and love which are meant to be consistent in it.

There is no doubt that erotic spanking might bring about some little pain, but that appears to be less of an issue if done the right way, as the delight derived from it surpasses the pain. However, describing with one word the pain and pleasure derived from spanking is close to impossible. The closest description appears to be the one given by Gloria Brame. In her opinion spanking, "has more to do with the delightful sting and the delightful warmth and the delightful vibrations that it sends through the whole region,"

In the opinion of KC Spanks Club founder Rich Spankman, spanking simply put is “delightful.”

Spanking is not a punishment unless you want it to. How then do you make spanking your husband a memorable one? How what are the steps that are required and the best practices for achieving great spanking that will leave you and your husband breathless and crave for each other like the way a Redbreast butterfly dots around hibiscus flowers.

​Step By Step On How To Spank Your Husband.

How To Spank Your Husband

​Spanking your husband might be a bit hard if you are not accustomed to it. However, the following procedures will take you by the hands and walk you through the perfect way you can spank your husband.  Let’s go!

Prior agreement:

​You and your husband must have had a prior agreement before doing this to him. It would not be funny if you attempt spanking your husband, and the next thing he does is to walk away, or feels he’s being disrespected. This was what the Sex expert and commentator, Coleen Singer was getting at when she said, “Taking control or giving up control are both roles that require a mutual understanding in advance of what the goals and limits are.”


​Your husband needs to be aware of the rules guiding the erotic spanking. Below are a few examples of rules you can adopt for this purpose:

  • ​When caught cheating.
  • ​When he breaks the family budget plan
  • ​He ignores you for no reason.
  • ​When he transfers aggressions on you.
  • ​When he uses foul languages
  • ​When he’s caught lying
  • ​When caught masturbating with your permission
  • ​When he fails to call when he is late to coming home, and so on.


​Timing for spanking your husband shouldn’t be of the essence; you can decide to start it anytime, but it is logical if you spank your husband the time close to the infraction, as this will have more effect on him as to the reason of you spanking him.


​This is the best way to position your husband for spanking. Have him lay across your lap, and spank him, increasing the pressure each time? Ask him if he’s been bad — he’ll say “Yes,” if he wants you to keep going. You don’t have to experiment with costumes, but it could be a fun and fresh way to keep things spicy in the bedroom. He could put on short knickers, and you could wear a plaid miniskirt, for example.

​Reasons To Inculcate The Habit Of Spanking Your Husband In Your Marriage.

Management of differences:

​Spanking your husband can greatly help you as the wife from over-reacting to the occasional misbehaviors of your husbands. When you spank your husband in this regards, you end up releasing that bitterness; yet, you won’t be resulting to rejection which is the ultimate weapon mostly employed by most wives whenever they are dissatisfied with their husbands.

Enhances communication:

​Normally, before you can begin to spank your husband, you two must have had a prior agreement. Doing this, the two of you tend to naturally understand how a good interaction ought to be in the cold light of day. Your husband will begin to appreciate the fact that roles played by him in the relationship are just as important as that which is played by you his wife.


​According to DarlingPropaganda, it is good to “always play with a safe-word so the spankee can let their spanker know if things get too intense.” Unconsciously, by sticking to this rule, you are training your mind and that of your husband to focus on being considerate and selfless with each other.

It facilitates equality of freedom in your relationship:

​The general idea is men are supposed to be in charge of everything, including sex-related decisions with their partner, principle which I strongly disagree with, as it goes to affect your freedom as a wife. You ought not to be pressured into anything by warped ideas of what your sex life should be like, and by spanking your husband, you get in your hands the deserved equitable freedom in your relationship.

Spanking your husband makes you and him feel the natural glow of happiness.

The thigh butt of your husband should considerably be part of where you need to twinkle while spanking him. This spot when hit releases dopamine which is capable of making us happy and crazy about our partner said a psychotherapist, Dr. Karen Mann

You can only punish your husband to satisfaction through spanking.

​Men are moved by strength and fierceness. Women who punish their husbands in a frank manner take over and win their loyalty and adoration. When you employ the traditional method of subjecting your husband to punishment- neglecting him, you are most likely to be hurting yourself the more.

​Tools You Can Use To Spank You Husband

​Using a bare hand to spank might be a bit painful, considering the fact that you are dealing with one of the tendered parts of the body of your husband.  You are not looking to punish him like a prisoner either; you are merely spanking him to express your hurting, and at the same time to avoid complicating issues with your husband; therefore, using tools that are purposely designed for spanking is a good idea as this will offer the best result. Enough of all these talks! Let’s dive into the toys!

Spanking paddle:

This is a lightweight spanking paddle. This lightweight makes it easy to wield. And one good thing about this spanking paddle is that it comes in different designs and for different sensations. In all, it’s a perfect toy for you if you’re new to the spanking world, and you would like to explore it.

How It Feels

A spanking paddle is made from faux fur, and it leaves on the spanked area less pain, and the feel of it is close to that of a body massage. You don’t get a stinging sensation from this spanking paddle unless it is made from materials such as wood, had leather, and silicon.

Another thing you need to understand is that when you spank your husband bottom, focusing on a part of it alone, you are most likely to be causing him more pain than the one he gets from when you use a large spanking paddle.

Try the different types of the spanking paddle with your husband to ascertain which of them suits him the most.

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How To Spank Your Husband Using A Spanking Paddle

​Spanking paddle with two sides is the best to pick if you are looking to explore with the aim of choosing the one that offers you what you want. And don’t forget that the best part of the bottom is to aim for while spanking is the thigh and butt. This will ensure you keep things safe and nice.


​Look more of a long string-link material connected to a handle; only the tips of the strings are expected to touch the targeted area when you spank your husband with a flogger. The technicality it requires in terms of its usage makes it a bit more complex to use and more of a design meant for the pros.

How It Feels

The amount of pain your husband gets when flogger is used on him will depend on how it’s the flogger is made, and most importantly the manner with which you spank him. To have a hang on of how to use the flogger, local sex shop may have some books on this. You can also try exploring YouTube; there are tons of videos that will teach you how best to use the flogger.

Check the following YouTube links to access some of the tutorials:

  • ​Flogger tutorial How to (Part1) BDSM skills ep. #5
  • How to use a flogger
  • ​Basic Bondage: Flogger, and so forth.

I’m not affiliated with the channel owners in any way; they are merely recommendations. You can go on to search on YouTube for more videos related to how to use the flogger on your own.

The basics of using a flogger go thus: your wrist motion does the most part of the job here. It’s the only way to avoid spanking your husband in his thigh or butt with any part of the flogger other than the tips of the flogger’s tail.

However, before you start spanking your husband with the flogger, ensure you have practiced using it on a lifeless object, and you have perfected your skills of using it.

Also, try not to start with floggers made from hard objects; I will recommend you start with floggers made with faux fur because when you use them later on your husband bottom and you hit the wrong part, it might cause him more pain than what you have expected.

A Tickler:

​Ticklers are known for their ability to be used at a considerable distance due to their long length. They have been described to offer more sensation to the receiver’s body compared to other spanking tools. Tickler comes in different types: soft suede strands, feathers, metal beads, rubber strands, and so forth.

How It Feels

​The tickler just as its name implies gives the receiver a tickling sensation, and the reason for this is no more than the soft and gentle feeling it leaves on the body. However, if you use a tickler violently on your husband bottom, it may lead to more of burning sensation on his body. So, you need to use your tickler in the right manner to avoid this.

How To Use A Tickler

​For a better result when using a tickler to spank your husband, you need to avoid tight holding, instead apply slight pressure, and run the tickler softly across your husband’s body. And don’t forget to aim more at the sensitive areas – the thigh and butts.

A slapper:

When you use a slapper to spank your husband, expect to hear slap-like sounds. This sound will have you thinking your husband is being subjected to some crazy punishment, but ironically, he’s not; in fact, the experience your husband will most likely get is that of fun.

The slapper is made from pieces of numerous materials. These pieces hit one another when in use to create what I would call an erotic sound.

How Does A Slapper Feel?

Hard hit on the bottom results to pain; however, the impact will not be as serious as what you would have if flogger made from wood or silicon is used in this same manner on your husband’s bottom.

When you use it lightly on the body, it feels soothing, but no matter how light you use it, you can never take away the fun-filled slapping sound.

Ridding crop

​When you take a good look at the riding crop you will notice it consists of a cane and a paddle. It is a multi-purpose toy. It can be used as horse whips; it can as well be used on human beings for the erotic spanking to induce sensational feelings.

How Does A Ridding Crop Feel?

​Your husband might experience any of these feelings when you use the riding crop to spank him- feeling close to a mild tap and a painful feeling. Whatever feeling it is your husband will get will depend on the level of force you apply while you spank him.

How To Use A Ridding Crop

​If you hit your husband’s bottom with the tips of the riding crop lightly, he gets a protruding sensation. On the other hand, if you hit his bottom with the tips of the riding crop, but this time, hard, he gets a very painful sensation. However, you can spank his bottom with the iron part, but know that this can feel as intense as your regular cane. so, use this part with less force while spanking your husband.

A whip

​Length of a whip is the longest of all the spanking tools. It’s more complex to handle than other tools, and as such it’s not designed for the beginners.

How A Whip Feels

​Whips are naturally designed to offer painful sensation. So, if your husband doesn’t enjoy one, it’s best to avoid spanking him with it. However, professional whip users can use it on the body and it will barely touch the body, let alone leaving marks on it.

How To Use A Whip

​Due to the painful impact whip could leave on the body, it’s advised you are well trained and have mastered how to use it before spanking your husband with it.


How Do You Spank Your Spouse?

If you are looking to make your relationship a bit more exciting speak to your spouse about what he likes. Have an open conversation about what he does and doesn’t like and if he is open to this then try it. 

How Do You Discipline Your Spouse?

You should not feel as if you need to discipline your spouse. If you are experiencing relationship issues then it is important to have an open conversation with him about how you are feeling so that you can resolve these issues together as a couple.

What Does It Feel Like To Spank Someone?

This may add some excitement to your relationship if things have got a bit boring recently. However it is important to talk to your spouse about what he likes and wants before you try anything new that he may potentially not like.

Why Do Adults Like Getting Spanked?

Some people do and some people don’t. It is important to speak to your spouse about what he likes and what he doesn’t like before you try anything that he may take the wrong way. Having an open conversation with your partner about things will really help things. 

Why Do I Want To Punish My Husband?

This is not a good sign if you feel like you want to punish your husband. If you are not in a healthy relationship anymore it may be time to start thinking about walking away. Have an honest conversation with him and if you can’t work things out then it may be time to call it a day. 


Just like when parents won’t hesitate to give their child the six of the best for mothering off, you shouldn’t give it a second thought to spank your husband when you feel he deserves ones. Even though spanking could come with a sting-burn on men, but the relieve it offers his body and that of yours makes it sufficient to say it’s another subtle but potential health improving method that is as effective as an anti-oxidant.

And “according to research and polls, more than half of both men and women are turned on by spanking during sex.” -Menshealth

This should tell you that you are not only improving on the sex life of your husband but also satisfying him by adding some spices to it. When your husband is happy with you half of the battle which exists in a relationship is won already. So, go girl! Do some more spanking on him!

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Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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