Oh, what we wouldn’t give to keep the early excitement of a new relationship going for as long as we remain with our partners. Unfortunately, only very few people, if any, get to experience that. The rest of us (and we’re the majority) go through a lull in our relationship every now and then.
When you start going out with an interesting guy, it’s easy to think yours will be the exception to the trend of eventually getting bored in the relationship. Maybe you prefer doing fun things, going out every weekend, and never having a dull moment with the one you love.
However, you have found yourself with this level-headed guy who goes to work and doesn’t like to spend much time trying new things.
Has he repeatedly turned down an opportunity to try something fun because of work? Or do you just feel like this guy is boring because he doesn’t spend much time doing the things you both used to do together?
Sometimes, we never notice how boring a guy is when we start dating, but once the novelty of being with them begins to wear off, you realize you don’t feel the thrill from the exciting ride you thought being with them would bring. So what do you do when your boyfriend is boring? Keep reading to find out.
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This may come as a shock, especially if you’ve gone so long thinking the issue is with your boyfriend, but you may be the reason you feel bored. Take a moment to think about your life outside of your partner, does it feel interesting enough, or can it be better? Maybe you’re actually bored in general and not just with this one aspect.
Perhaps, you’re unable to get satisfaction from your partner because you feel like he should give life to every part of you, including those you need to work on yourself. So, take some time to explore your inner self and work on your personal needs before you proceed with fixing him.
Another route worth exploring is to ensure the dullness in your spouse’s personality is just a matter of being comfortable with you and not something more serious. If your partner hasn’t always been this withdrawn, ask him what’s up and don’t assume anything.
For all you know, he might be going through some tough times and keeping it from you so you don’t have to worry about him. It may help to try and recollect when the excitement started to recede and see if you can connect the dots from there. If this happens to be the case, getting to know the issue without him asking would definitely bring you closer together.
It’s easy to see things in a negative light when we’re not particularly enjoying it, but a change in perspective can help you appreciate your partner a whole lot more. If you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to forget the earlier days when, where you are right now was exactly where you hoped to be.
You may be wondering if anyone ever wants to get stuck in a rut or whatever being with your partner may feel like right now. However, seeing it in a new light means thinking of it as being secured and comfortable with the man of your dreams. This new outlook can be a real game-changer for how you address the issue moving forward.
Thinking back to what drew you to the man in the first place can help you refresh your thoughts. So, familiarity has caused you to take him for granted, and maybe he’s really dropped the ball since then too. You have both, in your own way, contributed to the current state of your relationship.
Thinking back to the earlier days will help you remember all the things you used to love doing with your boyfriend. That will not only reignite the spark, but it just might ginger you to revive those activities you both know gives you joy. Or maybe the sentiment will help you realize a little boredom isn’t such a deal-breaker.
Another way to deal with a boring boyfriend is to take charge. If he’s always the one coming up with activities you do together, let that change. Think about something you’ve always wanted to do, and you know he’d enjoy too, and sell the idea to him. It doesn’t have to be crazy or extravagant, just different.
Whatever you pick, make it fun, it might be watching a new show together or even a bae-cation if you can afford one. You could also pick a day for date night, and make it a weekly or fortnight thing for just the two of you if that isn’t something you already do.
It always comes back to this, doesn’t it? In my experience, when people start complaining about boredom in their relationship, a lot of the time it has to do with not feeling fulfilled sexually. Either they are not having enough freaky time with their boyfriend, or they are just tired of repeating the same things. So I ask, how are things in the bedroom?
Has it become a chore to even think about getting down with your partner instead of something that excites you? Instead of concluding that your boyfriend is boring, use what you know about him to your advantage and open up about what you’d like to try instead of just replaying them in your head. Spark up a new adventure by exploring your bodies together, and you’ll be thankful for it.
While the benefits of spending quality time with your boyfriend cannot be overemphasized, too much of it can have the opposite effect on your relationship. There are lots of activities couples can do together to keep things interesting, but there’s the risk of running out too soon when you’re always together.
Absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder. While your appreciation for something tends to diminish with overexposure, you miss it more when it isn’t always there. So if you’re bored with a relationship, start working on seeing less of him and see if that helps. Separating your other activities from the ones you do with him can be a good place to start.
As I implied earlier, it shouldn’t be your partners’ responsibility to give your whole life meaning. Get out there, be more intentional about getting your blood rushing again. Hang out and do fun stuff with your friends. Read a book, pick up a new hobby, go for parties, sign up for a language class, and watch your favorite shows by yourself, it doesn’t always have to be with your boyfriend.
As long as he isn’t keeping you from doing fun stuff on your own, let him be laid back and do your own thing. You can now use the time you spend together to just relax and catch up on your adventures, and he can do the same about what he’s been up to.
Routines are good, they give you a sense of normalcy and reduce anxiety. However, knowing what you’re supposed to be doing at every second of every day can also make things boring very fast. There’s nothing wrong with planning your calendar but introducing a little spontaneity can go a long way in keeping boredom at bay.
Not being able to do something new with your partner every day shouldn’t be an excuse to get comfortable doing the same thing over and over. If you guys always eat out, cook dinner together sometimes. Go to the movies instead of watching Netflix at home, be spontaneous about date nights, just switch things up, you get the drift.
If you’re convinced your boyfriend isn’t boring, that he is just either too shy or too lazy to pursue new things, he might need a little nudge out of his comfort zone. For instance, if you’re the only person he ever hangs out with, encourage him to put himself out there more and make new friends.
If there’s something he’s always talked about doing but has never gotten around to, nudge him on to that path. He might resist you at first, but will later have you to thank for the satisfaction of finally crossing that goal off his list. It’s a long shot, but that one win can have a domino effect on your relationship.
What if your boyfriend isn’t even boring and you just think he is because you don’t understand him? Everyone has something they enjoy doing, something that excites them even if they seem mundane to others. Maybe you just need to find out what that is for your partner and take an interest in it.
If he likes sports, watch him play sometimes, when he hangs with his closest friends, join them when you can. You don’t have to like it as much as he does, but it can help you get a peek into his world and bring you closer together like never before.
In the same vein, you don’t have to only do the things that excite your partner with him. You two can figure something you both like and make a hobby out of it. Research has shown that couples who participate in what they both enjoy doing together are often more committed and satisfied than those who don’t.
New hobbies are great, but you shouldn’t restrict yourselves to new things. You can also bring back old activities you loved from the earlier days of your relationship and let the memories help you trigger your spark again.
Finally, let things flow naturally. A little boredom isn’t a red flag that should have you running for the door just yet, even the best of marriages experience it. Try to introduce excitement into your relationship from time to time, but not so hard that you let the process get the best of you.
Be yourself, and let your boyfriend do the same. Laugh at the funny stuff, play together when you can, don’t spend all your time trying to make everything perfect that you forget to actually enjoy your time together. However, if you are convinced there is someone out there that won’t ever get boring, then, by all means, go for them.
For the most part, introducing something new and exciting into your relationship is the best way to deal with a boring boyfriend. Switch things up in every aspect, take an interest in what he likes, and take the initiative to make plans when he can’t. More importantly, find other ways to entertain yourself apart from him.
If he hasn’t always been boring, he could be going through a rough patch, or he’s gotten so used to having you around that he isn’t motivated to impress you anymore. Have an honest conversation with him to determine what the problem is, and figure out a way out of it together.
Yes, it is absolutely normal to have some days when things are just there between you and your partner. We all get tired of doing the same things at a stretch, even things we love. What isn’t normal is allowing yourself and your partner to get stuck in a rut by not doing anything about it.
First, make sure you’re not only seeing your relationship as boring because your life is lacking some excitement outside of it. Then talk to your partner about it, and both of you should dedicate some time to figuring out what you can do differently. For instance, if you always hang out together, spend more time apart doing other things.
Break up with them the way you would want someone you love to break up with you. Employ empathy, be honest, be gentle, and try not to linger when you do. You can do it in person or over the phone, depending on your situation and how you feel the person will handle it.
Boredom in a relationship is basically part of the course if you stay with one person long enough. How have you dealt with a boring partner in the past, and do you think this list will help you do it better in the future? Let’s discuss in the comment section and share the article if you enjoyed reading it.