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How to Keep Him Interested (26 Effective Ways)

Are you wondering how to keep a man interested in you for a longer time?

Is this perhaps something you’ve struggled to do in the past and you have no idea why?

Or maybe you’ve just met a fantastic guy and you want to make doubly sure his eyes don’t begin to wander? 

If so, you’re in the right place. This guide is stacked full of tips for doing just that…

And I want to start with the most important thing I learned…

There is a little-known aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’, which has a tremendous impact on how he perceives the women in his life. 

This psychological trigger can activate tremendous feelings of power, pride and meaning in his mind. Needless to say, he tends to feel a lot closer to women who make him feel this way. 

In fact, it’s common that he will begin to OBSESS over a woman who can do this. 

This skill can be the difference between seeing as a ‘bit of fun’ and a woman that he wants to invest his life into. 

Once I learned how to trigger the ‘Hero’s Instinct’, it became so much easier to develop loving passionate relationships with men (read my personal story to learn how it works). 

It would appear that this primal instinct is held by most men - yet so few people seem to know about it. It’s crazy!

So, if you want to make a man feel like no other woman can, I’d recommend you learn how I discovered the power of the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

If you combine this skill with the tips listed below, it should be simple to keep a man’s passion and affection for the length of your relationship. 

There are many ways in which to keep your man interested which you can choose by what your personality is and who you are. The one thing I would definitely stress is that you never pretend to be something you’re not to keep your man interested as this won’t work out well in the long run and could make you unhappy.

Even after marriage, I am still working to keep him interested by trying new things together such as ice skating and remaining my fun self even after all these years. I have stayed true to myself throughout and I am 100% confident that my man is only interested in me.

If you’re finding yourself in a bit of dull moment in the relationship, or you find he might be pulling away, here are some ways in which you can ignite the spark (and not just in the bedroom) to keep him interested.

Don’t Try And Prove You Are Better Than Him

Wife blaming husband

While men love a challenge, they don’t want to have you reduce their masculinity and so don’t boast about being the breadwinner or having a better job than him. He will already be proud of you and so there is no need to carry on reminding him whose is bigger.

Men don’t fall in love because you are the owner of your own business or because you earn so much money, they fall in love with women who are honest, have a sense of humour and are feminine. Keep the relationship fun rather than competitive.

By all means you can still talk about your achievements but not over and over again. I have a friend who is the breadwinner in her relationship and she is forever reminding everyone, including her man that it is her that makes the most money and she pays for him to do things. While we are all super proud of her, it can get slightly unattractive when someone boasts and rubs it in constantly.

Keep Some Secrets

Wife talking to phone

A great way to keep your man interested is to keep a few secrets. You don’t need to tell your man every single details about a night out you had with the girls or a weekend away with them. Keep a few things to yourself but without making him jealous or suspicious of course. You don’t want him to think that you’ve been up to no good because you haven’t, you just want to keep him interested so that he wants to know everything there is to know about you.

Next time you go out for dinner with your girlfriends and he asks what you had to eat or drink then respond with a vague answer like “the usual” or “not much”. If you had something that was super nice and you genuinely want to share it with him then of course tell him but otherwise don’t start listing every single thing you had to eat or drink.

Men like a bit of a challenge and so by handing everything over to them on a silver platter won’t exactly keep them stimulated or interested. If he wants to know everything then he is going to have to dig because you aren’t giving everything up so easily.

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Don’t Stop Being Playful

couple playful in the kitchen

I believe this is a really important one and think this is what keeps my relationship with my husband still so alive after many years. I have always kept my playful side and will chase my man around the kitchen for a hug or jump on his back when he is trying to do something… basically just being a nuisance. This is who I am though and I have always made sure that I don’t lose this trait as I am getting older as I know it keeps our relationship fresh and fun.

I remember going away for a week a few years ago and after I got back, may man said he missed me chasing him and singing terribly in the morning. This is when I knew for certain that my playful side is something that keeps him interested as well as other things too.

If you have a playful side then stick with it and never lose it. Not only will it keep you young but it will add a lot of fun and interest to the relationship. Your man will know he will never find anyone like you and that is what you want.

Don’t Forget Your Friends

Wife watching movie with friends

I find it really sad that some women once in a relationship tend to forget their friends and focus all their time and attention of their man. While it is great they are super in love, they may actually start to become a burden on their man which is how we will lose interest.

It is important you have a life outside of your relationship by going out with friends, even if it is once a month. This outlet will keep your man interested and he will also be grateful as if he sees you having fun both inside and outside of the relationship then he knows he can do it too.

A great way to keep him interested is if you don’t be at his beck and call when he calls to ask you out for dinner or a movie. If you have plans with your friends then don’t cancel on them, tell your man that you already have plans. It comes back to the challenge thing again, dropping everything when your man calls won’t keep him challenged or interested.

Make Sure To Smell Yummy

Wife baking

This may sound slightly strange but having an aroma around you of cookies and anything yummy will actually keep your man interested. I’m not making this up neither; there was an article by YourTango that proved this point. You’ve also heard the saying “a way to man’s heart is through his stomach” which is why you should start smelling yummy.

Next time he comes round to your apartment, bake a fresh batch of cookies just before he arrives so that you and your apartment has a yummy aroma. If you begin to do this regularly then he will start to assign the smell of cookies with the thought of you. It doesn’t have to be cookies neither; it can be anything you know your man loves to eat.

If you’re not much of a baker or a cook then don’t worry, I think maybe this is why scented candles were invented! You can actually buy cookie scented or candy scented candles which you can light in your apartment to create the same effect as baking or cooking.

Be Confident In Your Relationship

Man looking at other woman

Show your man that you are confident in your relationship and that you trust him wholeheartedly by remarking on a woman passing by. If you like her hair, makeup, or general appearance then say it, it doesn’t mean that your man is going to run after that women and leave you. He probably won’t even pay much attention however he will notice that you are confident enough to compliment other women around him.

Men can’t help themselves to let their eyes wander when a beautiful woman enters the room, it is in their instinct. However this doesn’t mean he loves you any less or thinks you less attractive, he probably isn’t even aware he is doing it. Next time he does this in a restaurant or bar then compliment the woman he is looking at by saying something like “god, she looks amazing”.

It is ok to appreciate the beauty of others and if you’re confident in your man and your relationship then this really shouldn’t be a big deal.

Don’t Be Someone You’re Not

Wife bored

I touched upon this briefly before but wanted to make more of a point of it as I feel it is a very important point to make. While it is great to show interest in what he loves, it is another thing to pretend to also love it too. For example, if he is a massive football fan and to try and keep him interested you pretend that you’re massively into football, it is not an act you can keep up forever and he will soon come to realise that the relationship was built on lies and he doesn’t even know who you are.

It is important to be yourself and be your own person in the relationship. Do the things that you love to do rather than pretend to love the things that he loves to do. Having your own interests and personality will help you come to love yourself and feel solid about who you are. This will in turn keep your man interested in you as there are plenty of things to discover about you that he doesn’t yet know.

Keep The Past In The Past

couple fighting

One of the biggest mistakes women make in relationships is holding on to the past. If you have been cheated on in the past don’t let your current boyfriend get the punishment by stopping him from going out or making accusations based on nothing but feelings.

While it sucks that you have been cheated on before and can understand that you don’t want to let your guard down, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to let the past go. Start your new relationship afresh without any negativity or insecurities.

By brother has told me of his friend who has a girlfriend who was cheated on in the past in two different relationships. Her insecurities have gotten that bad that she is stopping her boyfriend from working as she wants him with her at all times. This is not a healthy way to start any relationship and while this scenario is pretty extreme, the point is that you shouldn’t put a label on your man based on men you have dated in the past!

Be Spontaneous

Wife bringing husband breakfast

If there is one way that will guarantee to keep him interested in you it is to be spontaneous. It doesn’t have to be every single day or even every week but every now and again surprise him. This could be either by booking a table at his favourite restaurant… your treat or it could be taking him away on holiday. If you think of something that would really make him happy and surprise him then definitely do it.

If you haven’t got the money to do anything as elaborate as taking him holiday or to his favourite restaurant then other things work just as well such as making him breakfast in one day or by inviting his friends round for poker night. Being spontaneous doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or expensive or even a gift; it just means that you do something for him that will make him happy as a surprise.

Being unpredictable will certainly keep him interested as again, you’re not giving everything you have to offer on a silver platter but holding some of it back for spontaneity.

Dominate In The Bedroom

Woman on top

Sticking with the theme of being spontaneous, if your man usually dominates in the bedroom and takes control then why not next time, you take charge? Your man may like taking control in the bedroom but if you switch it up and take control then it will show him that you are confident and sexy. Your man won’t be able to help himself but be in awe of your confident sexiness and will certainly keep him interested in you. This comes down to you being unpredictable again.

Your man will remain interested in you because he can’t wait to see what else you will do in the coming weeks, months and even years. You can continue this throughout your relationship to constantly keep it exciting and interesting, right from when you first start dating to even after marriage.

Every now and again, do something new in the bedroom (like talking dirty to him) to surprise and please him. This excitement will keep him constantly wondering what next is in store and make him feel that he has yet to discover a lot more about you.

Wow His Friends

Couple playing poker with friends

It is no secret that men can be very competitive, but did you know that they also compete as to who has the best girlfriend? Well you do now! A good way to keep your man into you is to wow his friends. You can do this by proving to his friends that you’re cool and no nagging girlfriend by not stopping your man from having poker nights or watching the game in the sports bar with his friends. You can also avoid texting him every half hour asking him where he is and when he’ll be home. This will stop his friends from roasting him about being under the thumb.

Acting this way could even mean that his friends will tell him that they wish their girlfriends were as cool as you. This will make him feel incredibly proud and is almost a testament that he is in a good relationship and he should never let you go. This doesn’t mean that you should allow him to come home drunk in the early hours every weekend though.

Be Seductive

Seductive wife

Being seductive doesn’t mean to just seduce your man into bed or something that you only use in the bedroom. Surround yourself in a seductive aura so that your man will remain interested in how sensual and sexy you are. It’s so easy to get too comfortable in a relationship and lounge around in your sweats and perhaps let slip the odd wind. While it is great that you are comfortable in your relationship, you don’t want your man to start thinking that he will never see the sexy woman that he first met. This doesn’t mean that you have to always wear a full face of makeup or wear your best clothes around him. You can still wear your sweats and still remain seductive.

All the little things count towards being seductive such as fluttering your lashes and giving him the ‘sexy eye’ during conversation or when asking a question. Always continue to smile and flirt with him by giggling at something he said while touching his shoulder or chest.

Show Interest In His Hobbies

Couple playing golf

This doesn’t mean to pretend that you love everything he loves; it just means to show a little interest in his hobbies. For example, my man really loves poker and a few years ago when I was bored one day I asked if he could teach me. He was absolutely over the moon and we spent the whole afternoon doing something that he loves to do and he got to share it with me. The even better thing was that his ego was massaged because he got to teach me something.

If your man has a hobby or two then why not ask if he’ll show you one day. For example, if he loves to play golf then ask if he’ll take you to the driving range one day and maybe make it a date and go for lunch afterwards. It doesn’t have to be an outside activity; I know my brother’s girlfriend will sometimes play the Xbox with him. Men will love that they have connection with you and will feel that your truly understand him.

Don’t Throw A Fit

Wife crying

Unfortunately it is quite a common thing for men to say that women nag or are drama queens. The aim of the game is to not let your man give you either of these labels by not throwing a fit or getting upset when you have a disagreement with your man. Next time your man disrespects you, don’t blow it completely out of proportion by throwing his clothes outside or throwing things at him. Get in touch with your inner Kourtney Kardashian and be the calm queen. This will have a much more powerful effect on him than throwing a hissy fit.

I used to fight an argument even after my man had apologised because I just wanted to be clear to get my point across. For some reason, I just couldn’t help myself even though I knew I was annoying my man and falling in danger of being labelled a drama queen. I don’t exactly at what point I realised that what I was doing was doing nothing to the relationship but adding negativity, but I’m glad I changed my ways and now I have more power in the relationship that a few years ago.

Be His Shoulder To Lean On

Wife comforting husband

One of the best ways to keep your man interested in you is to be a supportive shoulder for him to lean on. This is the 21st century with all women and men being equal which means that you need to be just as much of a support block as he does. You don’t want your man to feel he is alone with his problems or worries; you need to be able to listen to him without offering opinions unless he asks for it.

If he ever opens up to you about something he is worrying about then don’t get upset, angry or opinionated; just listen to his worries and offer reassurance. If your man asks what you think or what your opinion is then give him your opinion but you don’t want to shut him down before that point.

If you do this, then your man will treat your like his goddess and will have all the respect in the world for you. This in turn will 100% keep him interested in the relationship.

Be Financially Secure

Saving money

Again it is the 21st century and women work just as hard as men do and therefore no longer have the need to be financially dependent on their man. Even if your man is mega loaded and has all the money in the world, you still want to be financially secure yourself. Men don’t want to feel the burden of being relied on for money. This burden can take away some of the romance and interest out of a relationship.

Keep your man interested and burden free by holding a steady job and being financially secure. You could even offer to take him out on a date every now and again and make him feel special. Men love women who have a steady head on their shoulders which comes back to my point of being mature and motherly like. The more a man feels that you depend on him, the less he is reminded of the love in the relationship. Be your own woman and confident in yourself and your career ambitions.

Have Intelligent Conversations

Couple having conversation

While it is great to be playful and flirty in your relationship, it is just as important to have an intelligent conversation every now and again too. If a guy can connect with you at a deeper level by having in-depth conversation about current events in the world, your ambitions or anything else then it will hold his interest.

At the end of the day ask how his day which will also help you get to know each other a lot better. You can also ask him what goals he has in his career or in life, without making it sound like he is in a job interview of course. If you see something on the news or in the newspapers and have an opinion about it then tell your man which may trigger an intelligent conversation with him. It is also good to see whether your opinions tend to differ or are the same. There’s nothing wrong with having a different opinion about some things though as it just shows that you are your own person and not dependant on his opinions.

Make Him Feel Like A Man

Husband showing off biceps

So of course he is a man and he knows he’s a man but men like to be the man in the relationship which goes back to the caveman days. However in the 21st century, we women are as equals and in some relationships are even the breadwinners. We can do our own DIY and earn our own money and so in some relationships men’s testosterone levels will decrease. Even though you know you can fix the light bulb yourself, ask your man if he’ll do it every now and again.

It doesn’t just have to be things to fix around your apartment; it could be simple things such as telling him how you love to snuggle into his chest or telling him how big his biceps are. By keeping your man’s testosterone levels up, you’ll benefit from the increased sex drive but will also benefit from him being interested in only you. Sometimes the best thing you can do or your man is to let him be the man in the relationship.

Don’t Answer The Phone Straight Away

Wife not answering phone

This may sound like a strange one but it certainly does the trick in keeping your man interested. This is another case of not handing everything to your man on a silver platter and being at his beck and call whenever he calls or texts you. Make him sweat a bit the next time he calls or texts and leave it an hour or so before calling or texting back. You don’t want to make yourself so readily available all of the time so that he assumes you will drop everything to answer his call or text.

You can even do one better and try and dictate when and where you will meet up rather than leaving the control with him. This is also goes towards calling him a number of times just to chat. While there is no harm in wanting to speak to your man, you also want him to not feel suffocated or that you may be a bit needy.

Ask The Right Questions

Woman dating a guy

If you and your man are at the early stages of dating then it is a good time to ask some of the important questions before you start investing your time in a relationship that may disappoint in one or two years’ time. A good question is if he would lie to see you again. If he says he does but is then cancelling dates then he probably lied which is not a trait you want in a man. You can even ask when his last relationship was to get an idea as to whether he may be on the rebound or whether he is really interested in finding a partner.

Don’t be too afraid with your questions as its much better you ask them now than wait until you’ve invested too much time in a relationship that ends in disappointment. The guy you are dating will be really interested if he likes you because he will be in awe of your confidence and self-respect.

Say What You Feel

Woman showing I love you

If you’re anything like me then you likely talk a lot about everything but what you’re actually feeling. I made a promise to myself a couple of years ago that I would say what I was feeling or what was in my mind, and not just in the relationship neither. If my friend, mum or stranger looked nice or had great hair I would tell them so.

Anyhow, back to the point. If you’re feeling that you may be falling in love with your man then tell him. Don’t ever be scared to open up and be the first to say those three magical words. If he doesn’t reciprocate then don’t break up with him or get upset or angry with him neither. He may just not be at the same point yet but will be in a couple of months. You can say that it’s fine and you just wanted to let him know how you feel.

Enjoy Your Time Together

Couple enjoying coffee

Sometime the best thing in a relationship and to keep him interested is to just simply enjoy your time together and not worry about labels and the future.

Try and avoid any picky arguments early on in the relationships and get over it. The sooner you get over something, the sooner you can get back to enjoying time getting to know everything there is to know about your man… and for him to get to know you too. Dating should be a time tohave fun and go out with each and learn what you both love to do and all your dreams. It isn’t the time to be arguing about petty things such as him forgetting to call or text you.

If he’s showing more serious signs of shady behaviour then it could be time to end it and move on. If however it’s just silly things that he does or doesn’t do then try and let it go and instead focus on all the positive things he does.

Don’t Over-Accommodate

Different reflection

While it is great that you want to please the guy you’re dating or in a relationship with, it’s never a good thing to try too hard to change things about yourself to win his affection. I’m not going to lie, I’ve done it myself in the past and it never really worked out because it’s not an act you can keep up forever nor will it make you happy.

I have always been vert playful and excitable and I remember dating a guy many moons ago who was oh so serious about everything. At the time I thought I liked the guy and thought by being oh so serious about everything myself, it would please him. Obviously this relationship didn’t work out as I’m married to the man of my dreams now. The point is, don’t change who you are to please your man as not only will you be unhappy but your man will also be less interested because can see through it and will want to be with a woman who is confident in who she is.

Don’t Be Controlling

Wife controlling husband

The same as above goes for how you try and control your man and mould him into something that he is not nor will he ever be. If you don’t like the man you are dating the why are you dating him? I have advised that you should never change who you are when dating someone to try and impress them and keep them interested in you and so you should never try and change your man for the very same reason.

You can stop trying to change him by nagging less and stop criticizing the things he does. These kinds of habits will do the opposite of keeping him interested and may even push him away from you. If you really want to be with this man then you have to accept him for who he is and start showing him your appreciation of you want to keep him interested in you.

Let Him Have A Life

Drinking beer with friends

One of the reasons why men cheat when in a relationship is because they feel suffocated and not appreciated. You cannot worry about a man cheating before he the thought has even ran through his mind and keep him from going out with his friends or having time to himself. You need to show your man that he can enjoy being in a relationship with you as well being able to enjoy time with his friends or doing the things he loves.

Let him have a life by not stopping him from going out with his friends and also not texting or calling him every two seconds when he is out. It is important for both you and your man to enjoy time on your own as much as it is to enjoy time together. There is no better way to show your man that he can have both by having both yourself so arrange a night out with your girlfriends or spend time at the gym or doing a hobby you enjoy.

Have A Sense Of Humour

Couple pillow fighting

Being able to laugh with your man is important in keeping him interested and keeping the relationship fun. There is a problem if you can’t have a laugh with your man. You should be able to make him laugh as he should make you laugh. Most men don’t like people who take themselves too seriously and life too seriously and so loosen yourself up a bit and just live in the moment.

Me and my man are always laughing and have some great memories in our relationship that is based on laughter. I believe it has been an important part in our relationship and I think any relationship. For example, my mum and dad have been together for many more years and even after raising us kids and going through thick and thin together, they are still able to laugh together… in fact they are almost always laughing about something. I love their relationship and I hope me and my partner will be the same.

So there you have it, some great ways in which to keep your man interested in you and ONLY you. I think one of the key points to take away from this blog posts is that you should never change who you are in order to keep any man interested. Another important point to take away with you is to keep the early stages of your relationship fun and care free without the need to control and argue. These two key points along with all the other points and your amazing personality will be all you need to keep your man interested.

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