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I’m Not Attracted To My Boyfriend Anymore (10 Things You Should Do)

Are you losing attraction to your boyfriend?

Do you not see him the same way that you used to?

Perhaps the way he looks has drastically changed - or maybe it’s the way he treats you?

Either way, this can be a horrible situation to find yourself in. That’s why I was keen to write this guide explaining 10 helpful steps you can take.

It is possible to save your relationship from this situation if you make the right moves now.

If you’re keen to transform the way that your boyfriend sees you and treats you, I’d urge you to recommend this guide on activating a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

This guide will teach how you to appeal to the part of a man’s brain most heavily associated with love, longing and devotion to the opposite sex.

When you’re aware of how to spark a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’, he can feel intense feelings of passion and tenderness towards you. Perhaps this is what you need to re-spark the fire of a long-term relationship?

This skill helped me attract incredible men into my life, when before I was only really ever being seen as a fun casual partner.

Whether you’re trying to relight the flame of your existing partnership or trying to attract a new-and-improved boyfriend, I’d highly recommend you read my guide on the power of the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ now.

If you’re not sure about where your current relationship is heading, scroll down and peruse my list of the best steps to take.

I am really hoping this helps you to get clarity over your romantic future.

10 Things To Do When You Are Not Attracted To Your Boyfriend Anymore

​1. Find Out Why You’re Losing Attraction

This can be hard to figure out, but it’s really helpful when it comes to working through these relationship issues.

One of the main reasons that people lose attraction in a relationship is due to changes in the relationship or in the person. If your boyfriend has changed a lot lately—physically or mentally—you might feel less attracted to him.

Maybe your relationship dynamics have undergone some changes too. Are you working more? Do the two of you talk less and see each other less than you used to?

Your relationship could be failing. Maybe this is a sign that you shouldn’t be together long-term.

If you simply can’t figure out the reasons behind your dwindling attraction, you can still come up with a plan and try to fix it. It’s just helpful to have some possibilities in mind.

​2. Think About Why You Started Dating Him in the First Place

If you started dating your boyfriend due to his physical appearance, you should have been aware that people change over time, both physically and emotionally. This doesn’t mean that he’s not attractive anymore, but he may have changed.

Maybe you have never found him very attractive, but now you’re realizing it even more.

It’s important that you find him attractive, but it’s more important that you like who he is as a person.

The problem is that many people are eager to get into relationships and often end up dating people who they aren’t very attracted to. Obviously, this relationship may be short-lived and result in a breakup.

Do some brainstorming to come up with some potential reasons you started dating your boyfriend. Then, you can think about what might have affected your attraction to him.

Sometimes this can happen if you start dating someone before you know them very well. They might seem great from afar, but, once you’re in the relationship, they just aren’t for you.

It’s important to learn from this situation so that you make wiser decisions when choosing guys to date in the future.

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

​3. Talk to Your Boyfriend Before It’s Too Late

Talk to Your Boyfriend Before It’s Too Late

Now, this step won’t be applicable to everyone. If you feel like you’ve already lost all attraction to your boyfriend, this likely won’t be helpful.

What you can do if you’re still slightly attracted to your boyfriend is talk to him about what you’re feeling. Explain what’s going on and why you feel this way.

It’s important to do this early on so that you can fix it before it continues to get even worse. There comes a point where this talk isn’t useable anymore. If you’ve already lost all attraction to your boyfriend, there’s no point in telling him about it in this way.

It’s easier to resolve this problem if you are still somewhat in love with your boyfriend. Once you lose the attraction, you may not see the point in trying to mend the relationship.

By being upfront with your boyfriend, you will be creating a level of trust and showing your commitment. He may be more willing to help you with this.

Additionally, being honest with your boyfriend is a major piece of relationship success. Without your honesty, your boyfriend won’t be able to fully trust you.

​4. Get Some Advice

This information here can count as advice, but you may want more personalized advice. I’m not hearing a story directly from you and I don’t know your feelings, so I can’t be too specific.

Find someone that you trust and can talk to about anything. This could be a best friend or a family member or even someone else.

What’s important is that you are respectful of your boyfriend’s privacy. This issue affects both of you. Anything you say could easily get back to him.

You can share some necessary details, but try not to make it seem like you’re bashing him.

Sometimes, we like to gossip and keep talking about our problems. This is an issue for another day. For now, notice that there is a big difference between you talking to your friends about your personal problems vs. your relationship problems.

When your friends give you advice, think about it and evaluate all of your options.

​5. Consider Visiting a Therapist

You and your boyfriend can go visit a therapist together. Here, you will have the freedom to talk about these issues of attraction without judgment.

Some therapists will allow you to come in on a random basis. This may only be when you feel like your relationship could use some support. Other therapists may operate on a weekly or monthly schedule. This may depend on your specific situation as well.

A therapist will also be able to give you advice. They may create an action plan specifically for you. With this plan, you and your boyfriend will have clear guidelines for how to recreate the attraction between the two of you.

Look online for local therapists who get the highest ratings. There should be online reviews for each therapist or office in your area so that you can make an informed decision.

You may need to try out a few different therapists before making a final decision, but it will be worth it. You want to make sure that you’re comfortable telling this person some of the deepest parts about you and your relationship.

​6. Be Open With Your Boyfriend

​6. Be Open With Your Boyfriend

You need to be up front and honest about what you’re feeling. This isn’t going to be easy, but it’s a good idea. It can help you and your boyfriend to work through these feelings you’re having.

Simply talk to him about what you’re feeling and why you might be feeling this way. Give him some insight because he may not understand what exactly is going on.

Let him know what your intentions are. If you’re willing to work through these problems and make the relationship work, tell him that. If you’re thinking about breaking up with him, be sure to let him know.

It’s essential that you two stay on the same page. If you’re doing this, it will be much easier to fix any problems that may arise. You will both already know about what happened.

If you aren’t great at being open and honest with your boyfriend, this can be hard. Just try to tell him the truth and make sure he understands what you’re saying.

By being honest with each other, you will both be aware of the issues that your relationship may be experiencing. This is excellent for communication too.

​7. Consider Your Boyfriend’s Feelings

You know how you feel about your boyfriend and his attractiveness. You have no idea how he will feel once you talk to him about it. Try to think about his responses to serious talks like this in the past. If you can’t recall one, that’s totally fine!

It’s essential that you don’t make this all about you. Listen to your boyfriend’s concerns and his feelings. It’s likely that he’s afraid you will break up with him over this. He might also be confused about what changed your mind about him.

Be as honest as possible without absolutely destroying your boyfriend. Guys have emotions too so we need to be mindful of this.

Be supportive as he handles this news. Tell him that you’re there for him if he wants to talk about it.

Try to listen to what he has to say. He should feel like he is not being judged for any emotions that he expresses.

​8. Come Up With A Plan

Maybe the spark in your relationship is simply dying out. This happens in long-term relationships. It’s important to know that this doesn’t always signify the end of a relationship. There are plenty of people who are able to work through attraction issues.

You should sit down with your boyfriend and come up with a way to bring your relationship back to the top.

Often, little things like more frequent dates and more flirting can make a significant impact on the attraction in a relationship. These things can help to keep things going strong between the two of you.

You and your boyfriend may want to set a goal. Perhaps you want to go on a date twice per month. You might try to do one nice thing for each other every day.

Whatever your plan includes, make sure you stick to it. If you work together as a team, you can accomplish these goals.

Every month or so, re-evaluate the situation. Is the attraction coming back? Do you still feel like you want to break up with him? If so, that’s totally okay. What’s important is that you tried.

​9. Make A Decision

You absolutely don’t have to break up with your boyfriend if you’re becoming less attracted to him. There are ways to fix the problem, which is why it’s essential to make an educated decision.

You should avoid wanting to break up with your boyfriend over any little thing that goes wrong in the relationship. This is a pretty big deal though because attraction is an essential part of a relationship.

If the attraction isn’t there and you can’t seem to bring it back, it might be time for a breakup. The spark is really what keeps a relationship alive. Without it, your relationship may not be worth it.

I would suggest trying to fix the relationship and choosing a breakup as your last choice. It’s totally up to you though.

This is a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is your relationship we’re talking about! Don’t just break up right away.

If you decide that you do need to break up with your boyfriend, keep it short and sweet. Avoid drawing it out or filling the conversation with too many negative things about him.

​10. Learn From This Situation

As mentioned several times, keeping the spark alive is extremely important in a relationship. This doesn’t mean you need to be in the honeymoon phase for your entire relationship. Just make sure that you show the other person that you care.

You should also be cautious when getting into your next relationship. You will want to make sure that you’re dating someone for the right reasons. For example, you shouldn’t date someone because they look attractive. They won’t always look that way.

From this situation, you probably realized that it’s important to check your feelings regularly. There’s some work that can be done to reignite a flame, but it’s easier to do so before it’s completely gone.

If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation like this, focus on being open and honest. This is a good practice to have in a relationship of any kind.

Just because this happened once before doesn’t mean it will never happen again. Based on your new experience, you should be able to stop the loss of attraction early on. Be aware of the changes in your relationship and talk about them as needed.


Why Am I Not Physically Attracted To My Boyfriend Anymore?

Physical attraction is quite fickle altogether, so it’s not abnormal to become less attracted to a partner over time. It could be because of physical changes, maybe he changed his haircut or a lot more. Also, it could have something to do with busy schedules and lack of time to bond.

What Do You Do If You Are Not Attracted To Your Boyfriend?

Remember that this does not necessarily spell doom for your relationship.  Cast your mind back to the reason you first felt drawn to him. If it was solely linked to his looks then maybe you were barking up the wrong tree. Once and if you reach this conclusion then you need to vocalize your concerns.

Can You Love Someone You're Not Attracted To?

Very much so, the mere fact that you can love your friends without thinking they are hot is proof enough. Nevertheless, it's a different ballgame when it comes to romantic love. This is no grounds to end a relationship though, some people thrive in this kind of situation because the companionship is still stellar.

Can A Relationship Work Without Attraction?

In theory, yes, but that depends on the individuals and what it is that they are looking for specifically. If the two parties are seeking a passionate and intimate connection with someone then this kind of relationship is not the way to go. So, it’s quite relative as the case may be.

How Do You Know If He's Not Sexually Attracted To You?

The most obvious sign is that the fire in the bedroom will be quenched. He won’t initiate it and when you do, he’ll turn you down. He’ll become a bit more irritable and will only be good company when it's not just the two of you. Another major sign is when he no longer gets jealous when other men look at or proposition you.


If you are feeling less attracted to your boyfriend, you should evaluate what may be going on. You should also be open with your boyfriend about your feelings. From there, you can work together to come up with a plan.

Some relationships may be losing their spark. Maybe some serious life changes are influencing the attraction between you and your boyfriend. No matter what happens, there are plenty of options.

If you have a question, feel free to comment down below!

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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