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Insecure Couples On Facebook (17 Obvious Signs)

by Sonya Schwartz

Relationship visibility is becoming more and more popular with the ongoing surge in social media participation. Because of this, we’ve had the opportunity to witness the ins-and-outs of so many relationships all over the world. We can all agree that some of these relationship posts are very entertaining and nice to watch. I mean, who doesn’t like to have a little ‘Awww’ moment once in a while?

However, when it becomes excessive from one particular couple, then we know what to assume about that relationship; it is probably not the most healthy relationship. Even recent studies have confirmed that some forms of relationship visibility could be as a result of a few insecurities from one or both partners. 

This does not mean that all couples who go public with their relationships feel insecure, some people just like to show off their relationships for the mere fun of it. 

If you’ve recently just decided to go public with your relationship and you’re wondering how to avoid being that annoying insecure couple, then stick around and I’ll take you through 17 signs of an insecure relationship on social media.

17 Signs Of An Insecure Relationship On Social Media

1. They post almost every day

Unless you’re completely jobless and have no hobbies, no responsibilities, and no adult life at all, you can’t spend every waking hour taking photos ‘for the gram’ or just posting random stuff about your relationship on your Facebook wall—no matter how in love you are. No one should live on social media. It's not sustainable! 

Sharing your relationship on social media is not a crime but it can portray a certain image about you and your partner depending on what you put out there. If somehow, you’ve found a way to make posts every single day, telling everyone what you and your partner are up to in real-time, you’re going to make people exhausted from seeing your posts. Aside from that it just makes you seem overly self-conscious.

2. You only see the good times

you only see the good times

This does not mean that you need to share your arguments, the hard times you've had, and your weakest points on social media for everyone to see. This would not be right anyway, since sharing those parts may give unnecessary third parties access to your relationship, making things even worse. 

However, if your relationship is on the rocks and you're still okay with posting positive things on Facebook instead of focusing on fixing what's broken, then this shows you care solely what other people think of your relationship and not actually each other. This is a major sign of low self-esteem and you both need to get help.

3. They have a joint account

The truth is, this is not as adorable as couples may think it is. Even though we may love to see you as a couple, we also still want to see you as individuals. Having a joint account, liking the same things, and posting the same things make us think those couples are insecure about their partner’s autonomy. 

The truth is we all know what relationships are like. Just because you like a person doesn’t mean you want to become conjoined with them; you still maintain your individuality, you still crave your own space and time. So, pretending to be completely in sync with your partner all the time by having a joint account is not deceiving anyone. Nothing says I feel insecure like a couple’s joint account.

4. They’re constantly shouting out to each other

If you’re in a relationship (especially if it’s not a long-distance relationship), chances are you see each other every day. So, if you’re going to tell your partner you love them, or if you’re going to tell them how much you appreciate them, then doing it online is very unnecessary. 

This does not mean that once in a while you can’t go online and publicly serenade your partner, it's just that doing it way too often has an unspoken message behind it. The only person that really needs to know how you feel about your partner is you and your partner. This cannot be stressed enough! 

Couples who are on social media every day, posting how much they love their partner are most likely insecure about their partner’s feelings for them. 

5. When things get real, you go silent

Insecure people always want to make things seem like they’re perfect on the outside. What other people think about them is the most important thing in the world to them. The thing about insecure people is that instead of doing the real work and working on themselves in their closet, they put all their energy into packaging themselves to look good outwardly. 

It's the same with some people’s relationships on social media. Most times, they may be dead bored of each other or constantly fighting. But because they care too much about what their friends and family think of them, they put up this fake image of perfection on social media just to hide what’s actually happening in real life. 

With most of these couples, if a friend who knows them closely comments something about their real-life on a post, they either ignore it or delete it so no one gets to see what’s really happening.

6. They’re constantly shoving their sex life in everyone’s face

they're constantly shoving their sex life in everyone's face

If you’re in a relationship or if you’re married, we all know that you’re also physically involved. 

Shoving that fact in everyone’s face just screams insecurity. If you often post naughty memes on each other’s pages or tag each other on dirty jokes, this is you trying to say, ‘Oh look at us, we have a nasty side, and ‘Hey did you know that we have sex too?!’ Trust me, everyone knows already, there’s no need to flaunt it. 

Also, it does make the public wonder if you guys do not have an inbox where you can share these things with each other privately. Because sharing it publicly on each other's pages is just unnecessary. Most couples who do this, are probably not even having that much sex or perhaps, they aren’t really having fulfilling sex. They just need everyone to think that they are

7. Virtually marking your territory

In a general sense, if you feel the need to scream about your relationship from the rooftops, then it means you may be afraid that someone else could try to claim your partner or themselves.

There's nothing wrong with being a little possessive of your partner. In fact, to the right degree, it's quite healthy for a relationship. However, when it's done in excess, it starts to seem like you’re just plain insecure. 

If you’re not confident in your partner’s feelings for you or scared that someone will steal them from you, I think what you should do is sit and talk to your partner about it. Going on social media to annoy everyone is not the way forward. If someone still wants your partner and is determined to make attempts to win them over, then there’s no amount of territory marking that will help you. 

9. Meant for each other memes

Some couples like to tag each other on soulmate memes or post them on each other’s pages. No one needs to know that you guys are meant for each other. The truth is no one really cares. So, if you have made it through your first six months as a couple, thank heavens for you. However, this does not mean that you’ve automatically cracked the code forever after. 

Sharing memes that say things like, “Be with someone who makes you happy” or “Together forever” publicly, is a reflection of insecurity. It shows that you feel the need to be validated. Unfortunately, being in a relationship does not validate you. It's just one of those pleasant things that happen to people and you aren’t the first to experience this. So, cool it on the happily ever after memes

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10. Constant shout-outs

It's great to appreciate your partner when you’re in a relationship, there’s no harm there. In fact, having lots of appreciation for your partner may be the glue that keeps you guys together. Studies show that couples who show appreciation have a higher chance of staying together long-term. However, anything in excess is just not right. 

Constantly shouting out to each other on each other’s statuses is just tiring to watch after the first few times and it also screams insecurity. If you want to tell your girl or guy that you think they’re the best thing that ever happened to you and you’d jump off a cliff if you ever had to break up, then just tell them to their face. Shoving it into everyone else’s face is unnecessary and just plain distasteful.

11. Making jealousy posts

It's kind of sad and funny to watch at the same time. Trying to show everyone that you get jealous of your partner too is not cool. If someone even remotely attractive even likes or comments on your partner's pictures and you immediately comment back letting them know how you agree that your partner is a snack, yet they can’t have them because they are taken—

if this does not scream insecurity, I don't know what does. 

It's even worse if you ask how the person knows your partner in the comment section or if you start getting passive-aggressive. This just shows that you absolutely do not trust your partner and you’re making no effort at all to hide that.

12. You’re constantly posting pictures

you're constantly posting pictures

A couple of selfies are very cute, there’s no doubt. However, when you keep seeing way too many from one couple, you can't help but roll your eyes. Any couple who feels the need to take a hundred pictures of themselves per second and for some reason post all of them either doesn't know how Facebook works or is just trying way too much to prove that they’re extra happy. 

We all know that anytime a person tries too hard to prove something, they’re probably trying to mask something else. Posting pictures of you on vacation, your home, your furniture, your pets, your life, your everything all the time gets tiring to your Facebook friends and just look plain insecure.

13. Posting no-filter selfies

This is a revisit of our earlier point about shoving your sex life in the face of your social media followers. Again everyone knows that you’re probably getting down and dirty with your partner. Of course, I mean you’re in a relationship, it's not an achievement. 

We all know what you’re trying to say when you post those early morning selfies with your hair all messy and you’re still in bed. Yes, we know you may have been intimate the previous night but we don’t really want to be shown, so please don’t force that image into our minds. Just because you got lots of likes the last time you posted something like that does not mean that people want to see that again. It's not appealing and it screams attention-seeking.

14. You suddenly become a relationship coach

Okay, perhaps you got a million likes from your last post of you and your partner and your people in your immediate circle to think that you and your partner are couple goals. This does not make you a relationship coach overnight. 

There’s nothing more insecure than pointing out other people’s errors in their relationship or telling everyone what a relationship should not be. This shows that you’re trying to take the attention off the faults in your own relationship by pointing out the faults in other people’s relationships. 

It's just like that middle schooler who thinks pointing out other people’s imperfections makes him look perfect.

15. Stalking people who like and comment on your partner’s posts often

Ok, let’s just put it out there that in case you didn’t know, your partner had a social life before they started dating you. This means that they already had their own set of friends, family acquaintances, co-workers, etc. 

This is unless you were a rich man’s daughter who decided to go on a safari trip with her rich fiance and met a man raised by gorillas who swept you off your feet and made you decide to move all the way to the jungle to live happily ever after with him. 

If this isn’t you then you have no excuse to go stalking people who are active on your partner’s social media. This shows that you don’t trust your partner and perhaps, you don’t really have the healthy relationship you’re trying to prove you do.

16. Validation is your ultimate goal

It goes without saying that if you feel the need to create a perfect image of yourself on your social media networks, then you’re probably trying to gain some kind of validation from your social media audience. 

Most couples in healthy relationships are hardly ever on social media. They’re too busy living their lives and working hard to build a more solid relationship with their partners and raising their kids (if they have any). However, people with self-esteem problems either do not know this or are too blinded by their need for public approval to realize it. 

Relationships that are built on public approval hardly ever last because they’re sponsored by feelings of insecurity. If you’ve noticed that your main focus is on how many likes and positive comments you get on your posts, then you’re most likely insecure in your relationship

17. Oversharing

oversharing

Aside from just posting excessive photos on your social media, oversharing is another sign of an insecure relationship on social media. You don’t have to let all your followers know exactly what's going on in your relationship at all times—whether they’re negative or positive happenings. 

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Posting about where you are, what you’re doing at all times, what your future plans are with your partner, the petty arguments you have, what you’ve decided to have for dinner, and your partner’s outfit of the day, every day is completely unnecessary. It just shows how insecure you are.

18. You make up stories

This sounds crazy but believe it or not people have done this; fabricating stories and happenings to make their lives seem awesome or to feel included. Relationship goals don’t have to mean that you guys are climbing Mount Everest together or ruling the world together. 

It can just mean that you’re being a regular couple who’s working on making your relationship better and building something solid together. Making up stuff just to seem interesting or to stay relevant is a very insecure thing to do and quite distasteful.

FAQs

What are the signs of insecurity in a relationship?

Having problems trusting your significant other is a sign that you're a bit insecure. If you constantly feel the need to check their phone, social media, or stalk them in any way then you're probably insecure. Another sign of insecurity is if you easily feel attacked even when no one is actually accusing you.

Why do couples show off on Facebook?

There are various reasons why people decide to show their relationships both on and off social media. Some people just really love their partner and want the rest of the world to know that they’re lucky rough to have found love. Some others love the attention they get from it, they love the admiration and positive feedback they get from their single. 

How can you tell if someone is insecure on social media?

Living the fake life online for clout has become the order of the day, it's very easy for anyone to pretend they live a certain type of life because photos can be very deceitful. 

If a person shares too many details about their lives, especially accomplishments, conversations with popular or respected people then they’re probably trying to put up a certain picture about their lives. Most people do this to cover up their insecurities

What does it mean when couples constantly post about each other?

It could mean a lot of things, they may just be two who genuinely love each other and love to post about it. Some people are comfortable living their lives out there in the open, sharing details of their relationship or sharing their significant other on their social media is not a big deal for them. However, some couples do it for attention, for validation or to hide a bigger issue. 

Is bragging a sign of insecurity?

Yes, bragging is a major sign of insecurity! As the popular saying goes; the empty vessels make the loudest noise. Whenever a person seems to think they aren’t good enough or they are lacking in a certain area, they feel the need to make up for it by boasting either about some of their strong suits or other areas that they know they don’t completely suck at.

In Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed this article. Remember, trying to paint a perfect picture of your relationship on social media just makes you look insecure and desperate for attention, try to avoid that. Please let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section below and be sure to share the article with friends.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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