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How To Protect Yourself Emotionally In A Relationship (11 Vital Ways)

Maintaining a human connection with someone forever is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you began the relationship on the wrong foundation.

Relationships thrive on emotions which is why managing them wrong can do you a lot of harm to your relationship's growth. It's crucial to understand your emotions and what triggers them so you can protect yourself. 

But that's easier said than done. Emotional intelligence is a lifelong responsibility and requires consistent efforts, learning, and unlearning. This article provides tips on how to protect yourself emotionally in a relationship.

11 Ways How To Protect Yourself Emotionally In A Relationship

1. Don't get involved when not invited

People will always have reasons for what they do. And it's crucial to exercise enough self-control, especially when you both are beginning to talk and create a successful relationship. 

Be careful when engaging in conversations and visiting places you haven't been invited to. Supposing your new partner and his mom are conversing, and you hop in. We all react to issues differently and may not like how his mom reacts to your intrusion. 

Sometimes it's hard if you're new and want to be seen everywhere together, but it takes time to get there. Resisting the urge not to get too clingy can be a great way to protect yourself from unwanted surprises and emotional pain.

2. Don't be afraid to say no

We all have our choices, and bending to a partner's will and neglecting the backstories behind your choices can lead to emotional pain. All men come with distinct characters. But you should feel happy and comfortable sharing yourself, your choices, and priorities with your man without any hustle. 

Normally, the dating stage is when you should start fishing for red flags and warning signs. You should know you're in the wrong relationship if he's constantly telling you to turn your 'No' into his 'Yes.' 

Healthy relationships rely on mutual respect. Bending to his will at all times can make you feel small in the relationship. It can also increase your susceptibility to stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. 

You may think you can teach him a thing or two about respecting your decisions. But a responsible man won't give you a hard time affording you the respect you deserve. Staying away from such people can be a great way to protect yourself emotionally in the dating process. 

3. Know your relationship and your partner

When you fall in love, you accept the other half regardless of any bad behavior he might have. So the early stage of dating is where you need to up your background check game.

Imagine dating a man who doesn't respect his mom or is involved with other partners in multiple locations. There can be no excuse for starting relationships without knowing who the partners are. It's an outright wrong move

Several ways exist to protect yourself emotionally in such cases. First, ensure you know the person beyond the fun, money, bar friends, and hostel mates before starting the relationship. 

You should have honest conversations about where he is from, his past, and his entire background. Such conversations do more than make you more aware of the relationship. It can also help you feel safe around him, and safety is a necessity if you plan on having your relationship for keeps.

4. Don't over-romanticize

A little flirting can spice up the relationship. Sex and intimacy are crucial when you finally find that special someone you're willing to be on the same page with. But just like every emotion, there are rules and limits to the game. Over romanticizing is one thing you should avoid if you want to protect yourself emotionally, especially if you're both new to the game. 

Remember that not all dating leads to a relationship. Don't create the wrong impression if your relationship falls through, and most importantly, don't worry about your head. Blaming yourself can cause you to romanticize the person, creating an excessive need for him, which is not healthy whether you break up or remain together.

Ever heard of boundaries? Yes, boundaries. Have yours and let him have his. Romanticizing him can cause you to turn a blind eye, accepting the person's abuse thinking it's normal. But you deserve better, queen.

5. It's not a sin to be independent, even in a relationship

it's not a sin to be independent even in a relationship

Talking boundaries, remember it's not a sin to be independent in a relationship. Many women run with the thought that a new man is the ultimate height of everything they would ever need in a relationship, especially when the man has enough money.

Doing so can put you at risk of becoming nothing more than a puppet to him. That gives him the room to hurt you if he's violent and would like you to fear him forever. 

Independence eliminates that risk. It breeds respect and dignity, which is good for your self-esteem. When women develop self-esteem, they become more conscious of what they deserve and are more likely to protect themselves emotionally. 

6. Empathize, don't expect

Expectations are the root of all heartache. The less you expect things you're in no way entitled to, the more you give yourself to your emotional hurt. It's a given, but it's never easy. Many of us expect big changes when we begin dating. It comes from a long-existing culture that has us believing that people will change specific characters when they become hooked in love.

But this rarely happens in real life. The fact is that people don't change just because they're in a new relationship. As a matter of fact, a new car or a new mansion couldn't change anyone for the better. The first place for change to happen is with self. Therefore, you can teach your partner about things you would like to see in your relationship. But these things will not show if he is bent on keeping up with his act. 

Therefore, expecting big changes when your partner doesn't have the same genuine intentions will only expose you to emotional issues. The author, Don Ruiz, in his best-selling self-help book;' The Four Agreements' encourages people to face reality rather than cover it up with assumptions. 

Love is simple when you empathize rather than expect. Empathy teaches you to be patient with your partner and his flaws throughout the love journey. Doing so can be a great way to protect yourself from negative emotions in your relationship.

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

7. Know when to draw the line

How would you feel if you woke up to your phone buzzing with endless notifications leading to a personal photo of you published on social media without your concern?

This issue shouldn't happen if you constantly communicate, even over sensitive issues like photo sharing on social media. Some people may want a relationship devoid of the pomp and pageantry of social media these days. 

No matter how they are initiated, such conversations can help you draw the line, maintain your boundaries, and keep yourself from disappointments in your relationship.

8. Live in the moment

When you're in love, it feels as though you'll never move out of the zone. While it's crucial to keep hope alive, your relationship is not always guaranteed for the long haul. Therefore, living in the moment is a better choice than suppressing your emotions and rescheduling your happiness. 

For instance, you may not meet your partner's family, but that's not a yardstick to hold your happiness back. Meeting them can be a great milestone as you both advance in your relationship, and you have every right to be head over heels over it. But don't let it steal your joy if it's not happening soon enough. Relaxing on your goals can be a great way to keep negative emotions from unmet expectations at bay. 

9. Stand your ground when you're right

Most men and their egos are inseparable. Scientists have a term for it; the hero instinct. While many people assume that the big, fat male ego is all about superiority, studies show that men rely on this instinct to feel successful at work and in other endeavors. 

Therefore, it's okay for men to have this one. What's not okay for you to allow a man to sweep you under the bus when you're right? According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about 28 percent of American wives earn more than their husbands and may face stiff competition at home. A Washing Post article also reveals that most men feel inferior when their wives are more successful. 

If you're subject to these issues, know it's okay to stand your ground when you're right. Reasonable men know that it takes two to tango. So, a partner's success is a complement to the home you are both building together as a team. 

You should rethink your relationship if your man treats you as less of a partner so he can feel superior. Staying in such a relationship can expose you to numerous negative emotions, which is not the best way to go. 

10. Talk through your feelings together

talk through your feelings together

Communication is a non-negotiable element in successful relationships. It takes consistent conversations and observing each other for your relationship to grow beyond the first date. 

The best way to know if your partner's feelings for you are mutual is to talk through things together. 

Understand what gets him annoyed, happy, and everything in between. You can also balance the conversation by helping your partner know essential things about you. Maintaining a relationship is not always rocky, but you can rely on communication to smoothen things out. 

11. Focus on wellness

Your health isn't only your wealth. It can be your relationship too. Living a sedentary life without eating right and exercising can make you unproductive and affect your moods, making it hard to accept the beauty of your relationship. 

Keeping an exercise routine isn't as hard as social media and internet bloggers deem it to be. Experts claim that a daily ten to 15 minutes routine can suffice. What matters most is consistency, not the amount and time you spend working out. 

Dietitians also recommend fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as essential foods to lift your spirits and enjoy your relationship.


How do I protect my emotions in a relationship?

Protecting your emotions in a relationship is actually rocket science. There is no formula. And you can do everything right and still get hurt. But remember, it's better to love and lose than to have never loved at all. 

On this quest, three things you will need are patience, resilience, and a learning mindset. Patience will save you from rushing relationships, ensuring you can tango on the same page as you move further up the love ladder. Resilience will help you build a thick skin against hurtful people, and with your learning mindset, you can know how to avoid such people in future relationships.

How do you protect yourself from being emotionally hurt?

Staying true to your emotions can be a great way to protect yourself from being emotionally abused. Often we catch the red flags, but we overlook them, taking solace in the excuse that emotional abusers will change with time. So getting your priorities straight, setting your boundaries, and standing your ground can never be a miss if you don't want to set yourself up for emotional abuse in your relationship.

What is emotional security in a relationship?

Emotional security in a relationship measures how stable your emotional status is in your relationship. It is characterized by safety, confidence, and the freedom to make mistakes and take things at your own pace without feeling pressured or judged. When you're emotionally secure, you're less likely to experience lasting emotional pain from your partner

How do I not let my partner affect me?

Is it possible for your partner to affect you? It is, but it goes both ways, but there is no middle ground. Your partner can affect you positively or negatively. For instance, you're likely to pick up the interest in working out if your partner is a fitness enthusiast. 

On the other hand, you can subconsciously pick up a cursing habit if your partner consistently uses swear words around you. Given this, the best way to not let your partner affect you is to ensure they do so positively so that you have nothing to worry about in the long run.

How can a woman be secure in a relationship?

Women can be emotionally secure in their relationships if they develop their self-esteem. A woman who knows her worth won’t be bullied emotionally. Note that crying can coexist with emotional security. According to a BBC study, crying is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it can be beneficial to your overall emotional well-being. 

To Conclude

Every relationship is a two-person responsibility. And your partner has a significant role in ensuring your emotions are safeguarded in your relationship. Generally, I hope this list can help you build emotional security and enjoy a healthy relationship as long as love takes hold of you. After reading this article, feel free to share your reaction and experiences with us.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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