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How To Play A Player (11 Ways To Outsmart Him)

by Sonya Schwartz

It can be so frustrating when we are crushing on a person who is both playing the field and playing games with you. At times, it can even be very hurtful when we realize that we have been played and that a person is taking advantage of us for their own means. 

Here, we look at how to play the player and get what you really want from a person you are interested in romantically. We highlight 11 ways you play the dating game to your best advantage, whether you are interested in a guy or women or both. Take control of your love life by trying out one or any of our suggestions below to learn how to play the player

How To Play A Player

It can be a good idea to try out two or three of these at once, but perhaps not all. That being said, when you are dealing with game players, it can be beneficial to be aware of all the options that you have available to you at any one time, to find a way that you can be happy.

1. Play Hard To Get

play hard to get

It may not be a game that you want to play, but if you think you could fall in love with a player, it can be a good thing to play hard to get with him. This can be so hard to do given that you are really into them, but if a guy or girl is a player, they sadly often respond very well to women or men playing hard to get with them. 

The reason being is that they are attracted to people who don’t seem to be falling for their usual charms and as a consequence aren’t chasing them. Game players love to be chased, and if they’re not, they do everything in their power to get that feeling back. Therefore, if you don’t chase them, you’ll probably find that they become the ones who chase you. 

2. Call Them Out On It

So often, we overlook the easiest way to take back control of our lives, by simply calling people out on behavior that is not desired. If you are dating a player and you keep thinking ‘he played me’, then call him out on it if you don’t want it to happen again. In doing so, you are taking the most proactive approach possible in addressing unwanted behavior from them. 

As a consequence, you are taking control of how people can treat you. No one wants to be played, which is something that players often forget. As a result, telling them directly that you don’t want to play their games actually puts the pressure on them to change their attitude to one that makes you happy. 

3. Date Other People

date other people

One of the ways that players manage to play games with people they date is due to the knowledge that they have some sort of mesmerizing power over you. To stop players in their tracks, it is imperative to take that power away. One thing you can do to take back control of your dating life is to continue to date, other people. 

In doing so, he or she will realize that you are a much-wanted commodity and therefore it is too dangerous to play with you. By realizing that he or she could be giving up on something that so many other people want, they will address and amend their behavior to one that is far more worthy of what you should expect as standard. 

4. Continue To Use Dating Apps

Dating apps, and blatant use of dating apps, is a great way to send any guy or woman crazy who is trying to play you. They won’t understand why their usual tactics aren’t working so that you still feel the need to use dating apps. Plus, one of the great things about continuing to use dating apps is that you may actually meet someone else who doesn’t play games with you. 

Or, other people that your crush knows may inform them that you are still using dating apps to meet another guy or another woman - which again will send them crazy thus readdressing the balance of power in your relationship even more. 

5. Make Friends With His Friends

make friends with his friends

Making friends with mates of the guy or girl you are crushing on is also a really effective way of playing a player. Being involved with his or her circle of friends can make a player physically uncomfortable to the point that it interrupts their rhythm. It is that rhythm which gives them the confidence to believe that they can treat people in the manner they do - like playing games with their feelings just for their own amusement or pleasure. 

Finally, making friends with their friends can often mean that your crush can’t behave in the same manner that they would do normally. The fear that their friends will tell you what they’re up to is too great.

6. Don’t Try To Make Plans

When we really like a person it can be so tempting to constantly ask them if they want to meet up for drinks or for a coffee or go to see a film. However, it can come across exceptionally keen and can be a massive turn off. The result is that they either walk away from dating you entirely or they continue to play games with you as they don’t really care about hurting your feelings. 

As a result, try to be as vague about the future as possible and try to go with the flow a little more. If they want to see you they will make an effort to see you. If they don’t, that’s their loss and he may need to find a way to move on.

7. Don’t Get Physical Too Early

don't get physical too early

It can be so tempting when we really like a person to get physical with them quite early on. When we are very attracted to a person, we want to kiss them (if not more) which can override what are otherwise usually good intentions. The problem with getting physical with a person too early on is that if they are a player, they will be after the physical side of things far more than they are after the romantic side of things. 

By giving them what they want too early on, you minimize any chasing they have to do to get what they want physically. Bearing that in mind, it can be very advantageous to hold off from that side of a relationship as long as you possibly can. 

8. Focus On The Fun

If you are trying to date a player because you like them, it can be really helpful to just focus on fun for as long as you can. This alleviates any pressure on you trying to lock down the relationship and will actually in turn make you appear far less available to the player than you may really be. 

This, again, makes them want to chase you more but also gives you the opportunity to go with the flow and show off your best attributes as you are not overthinking situations too much. Going with the flow is a fantastic diffuser to any game playing. It doesn’t give the player any power to craft mind tricks on you to get their way. If you go with the flow, you will naturally do what you want anyway. 

9. Flirt With Other People When Out

flirt with other people when out

If you are dating a player and you see them out and about, it can be a good idea to remind them how attractive you are to others. If you can, therefore, flirt with other people when you are out. Better yet, if you are actually on a date with them, flirt with other people right in front of them. 

While some may see this as playing a game in itself, if it helps readdress the balance in your relationship so you are not doing all the chasing, then that is beneficial to you. Plus, flirting is fun and will further minimize the pressure you are putting on yourself to make this current relationship work out. 

10. Know What You Are Getting Into

Amongst the best tactics, you can arm yourself with when dating a player, is to know what you are getting yourself into. The thing with a player is that they are very slow to change - even if they do really like you. Have realistic targets therefore on where this relationship can go or the speed with which it will get there. 

This type of person will not change their spots overnight and expecting them to can set you up for a fall that is difficult to come back from. Remember their faults therefore as this will help relieve the pressure that you feel to make it work - and even to rise to his or her bait when they are playing games. 

11. Be Confident

be confident

One of the reasons that a player can so often play a game with someone, is because that person lacks confidence. To readdress this balance and to ensure they don’t have any power over you or your life, have confidence in yourself and your abilities. You are undoubtedly an attractive person with many wonderful qualities. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Remember this point so that you do not accept any behavior that a player displays towards you that is substandard. A guy or girl should always treat you in a manner that is respectful and kind. Anything short of that is not worth your time. 

FAQs

How do you outsmart a player?

Outsmarting a player is all about not rising to their bait or sinking to their level. You need to stay calm and stay true to yourself. In doing that you will not start playing their game. Just try to be as genuine as you can be without overthinking your reaction to his or her every move. 

How do you deal with a player?

Dealing with a player is tricky. You need to remember to be as authentic to yourself as possible and only deal with your own reactions. Don’t overthink what the player is doing and simply go with the flow. Overthinking things mean you start to rise to their level and could start playing games yourself. 

How do you play with a player guy?

Playing with a player guy tends to revolve around not rising to their bait and trying to play hard to get. Make sure you are not available to them whenever they want and make sure that you are always getting what you want from the relationship you have with him. If you don’t, have the confidence to say no. 

How can you tell a player?

A player will be someone who tries to make a few firm plans with you as possible, as well as someone who is also on their phone a lot when they are with you sending text messages to other people a lot. They will also be likely to be seen with other women or guys around. 

How do you make a player jealous?

Making a player jealous will tend to be a long game as it will often take them a while to realise what is going on. However, you need to ensure that you play as hard to get as possible. Keep dating other people and give it as long in between speaking to him as you can. 

How To Play A Player - Key Takeaways

Dating a player is rife with difficulties. It can mean that you are setting yourself up to get hurt through their underhand tactics or simply chasing a relationship that will never materialize. Arming yourself with the above tactics and learning how to play the player is essential to prevent yourself from any unnecessary emotional stress. 

Above all, remember your worth and have respect for yourself. If you don’t, the player will happily continue to play games with you which will only end up causing you undue pain. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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