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19 Signs You’re In A Fake Relationship

by Sonya Schwartz

Fake relationships are all around us. They’re the couple smiling on Facebook in every picture but always arguing behind closed doors. 

This is the marriage that happened for the wrong reasons. There are a lot of different versions of fake relationships, but they are all the same thing underneath. 

What Is A Fake Relationship?

A fake relationship gives people outside of the relationship the illusion that the two people are a happy couple. It may appear that the boyfriend is madly in love with his girlfriend. To people outside of these relationships, they are relationship goals. They are the ones that every couple strives to be. 

Behind closed doors, however, things are not as perfect as they seem. In fake relationships, there is always an underlying reason for the relationship. Perhaps the couple is really in a sugar relationship. 

Maybe one person simply wants a relationship to appear successful to others. Maybe both people want to have a relationship or family yet they have quite a few problems. Sometimes, a person can be in a fake relationship and not even know it. There are certain signs you’ll need to look for to make sure that you’re not in a fake relationship. 

Signs You’re In A Fake Relationship

While you might not notice all of these signs, the more you see the more likely it is that you’re not in a real relationship. Instead, your partner is playing you. He wants everything to look perfect for one reason or another. Be on the lookout for other signs if you notice a few, right off the bat.

1. Your partner cares more about your appearance than anything

This is common in men that are using you as a status symbol. It makes them look great to the rest of the world if they’ve got a dime on their arm at social events, everywhere they go, and in those pictures on social media. 

He’ll insist on having your nails done or you going tanning. What you wear is important to him. This guy will want you to always look your best, especially for friends and family. 

2. They are romantic, but only if it serves their needs

they are romantic, but only if it serves their needs

Even though his grand romantic gestures might be geared towards you, you’ll only get them when it serves him. For example, he might take pictures or insist that you post about things on social media. This makes him look like Prince Charming. You might notice that romance is always when someone else is around, such as at a restaurant or in front of the family. 

It’s common for men to show romance in front of people, but those in a fake relationship will only get those gestures in front of people. When you mention wanting more romantic gestures when it’s just the two of you, he might oblige. However, it will rarely happen. That’s because he’s not in a relationship with you. 

3. He doesn’t seem to hear your words

He’s there. Your man is sitting right next to you. However, he doesn’t remember a word you say. You have reminded him of things, you’ve told him stories and it’s all new to him the next time you say them. This might be that he has a bad memory. It could also mean that you’re in a fake relationship. 

When a man is in a real relationship with you, they listen because they care. They want to know about your past. Seeing the spark in your eyes when you tell them stories about traveling makes them smile. In fake relationships, he’s not interested in anything to do with you unless it affects him in a positive way. That’s why he barely listens and doesn’t seem to remember anything. 

4. He puts little effort into conversations

If you’re in a fake relationship, you’ll notice that the conversations are almost painful to have. You seem to be putting in all of the effort to keep the dialogue going. Some days, you would rather them not even happen. This is because having a conversation with you when it’s just the two of you doesn’t benefit him. 

In a healthy relationship, this helps you build a solid foundation. Healthy communication is critical for maintaining the relationship. In a fake relationship, this won’t matter to him because it doesn’t serve a purpose unless you’re with friends or family. 

5. He’s nicer in front of other people

Romance happening in front of the family is common. Your guy loves giving you sweet forehead kisses in public. However, when it’s just the two of you, that comes to an end. He’s a completely different person. This is because you’re in a fake relationship, and he wants to look great for society. 

6. There’s no intimacy after sex

Most people share intimate moments after a romp in between the sheets. This could be cuddling and talking or eating a snack. Some may cuddle and fall asleep in each other’s arms. In a fake relationship, there is little or no intimacy like there is in other relationships. 

7. He doesn’t care if you meet his family

Meeting his parents is a huge deal. If he doesn’t care whether you meet his parents or family, that is a problem. In fact, if you have a wedding and still haven’t met each other’s family members, that’s an even bigger sign. 

When he wants to have a beautiful wedding for the wrong reasons, the finer details don’t matter. He’ll care more about what the wedding pictures look like than anything. Meeting your mother won’t even cross his mind unless he wants to post pictures on social media. 

This is because when you are in a fake relationship, the rest of your family or his family doesn’t serve a purpose to him. The only time it will matter is if it can be used to make him look awesome. 

8. He sporadically cares about making the relationship work

he sporadically cares about making the relationship work

The way that a person cares about whether it works or not in a fake relationship can leave you feeling baffled most of the time. There is not any effort to make the relationship work. Maintenance is non-existent. Communication is crap. Usually, you find yourself feeling as though your feelings don’t matter

If you want to leave this relationship, however, he’s ready to dive right in and make things work. This is the only time he’ll be ready to compromise. If he loses you, he loses the benefits that he’s getting from the relationship. That’s why he breaks down if he thinks the end is near. 

9. Issues are often left unresolved

In a healthy, real relationship, couples tend to communicate when they have a problem. This healthy communication helps keep both people happy in a real relationship. 

Fake relationships don’t have this same level of communication. It’s simply not necessary to maintain the illusion of perfection that one partner insists on achieving. Because of this, issues are not resolved or worked out as they normally are. 

10. He doesn’t pay attention to you when you’re alone

Just like he doesn’t care about your feelings unless someone is watching, he doesn’t care to pay attention to you when no one is watching. The only exception is if he thinks you might make it known to other people or somehow let others know that he’s not the perfect boyfriend he wants the world to think he is. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

11. Overall lack of effort

A man that is invested in a real relationship will want to make you happy. He’ll want you to know that he cares. He might forget an anniversary or have communication skills that are significantly less than what you want them to be, but he will try. You won’t find yourself wondering if he’s head over heels in love with you. 

This is one of the biggest differences between real relationships and fake ones. Fake relationships don’t have the same amount of effort. You’ll find yourself wondering why he doesn’t leave because he clearly does not care. 

12. He cares about social media

Did he buy you a present? He wonders why you haven’t shown it off to friends. Anniversary? Time for those classic Facebook pictures. Is a living room full of presents for the kids on Christmas morning? It has to be shared with the world. We all enjoy social media, but he cares a bit more than anyone you’ve ever met. It’s because he either has low self-esteem, or he’s using you.

13. You two don’t make future plans

You’re not planning for your future because he’s not thinking about your future. Instead, he’s more worried about whether you’ll keep up the image. 

However, this is only in the beginning. If you manage to deal with this relationship long enough, he’ll want to marry you so he can have that awesome status for the rest of his life. 

14. His words don’t match up with his actions 

his words don't match up with his actions

He won’t tell you that he doesn’t care or that you’re in a fake relationship. In order for him to keep it going, he can’t. Instead, he’ll lead you on for as long as he can. He’ll say anything that you want to hear. You’ll notice that he doesn’t follow through unless you’re in front of other people though. 

15. Rebound relationships are also fake relationships

When we think of fake relationships, we think of those who have an image to maintain. This is one type of fake relationship, but not the only one. Another type that you might come across is when you’re a rebound. They say the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone, and some people are more than happy to do that. If you notice signs of being a rebound, like them constantly mentioning their ex, you might be in a fake relationship. 

16. There’s a disconnect

Do you know the feeling of being in a long-term relationship and growing apart? That’s what it feels like when you’re in one of these too. It’s not because it’s coming to an end. Instead, the relationship stays like this. It’s because you don’t have the emotional bond or intimacy that you have come to expect because you’re used to real relationships. 

Sometimes, you can’t quite put your finger on it. Instead, you just notice that there is a distance between the two of you that you didn’t have in previous relationships. 

In fact, I was in a fake relationship. I had no idea until we broke up for other reasons. Writing this list, I wish I would have known the signs before because it would have saved me months of trying. Throughout the entire relationship, it always seemed like there was a gap. 

17. They never ask how you’re doing

It’s normal for a partner to ask how your day was. Inquiring about work is one of the ways that they make sure that you’re okay. In order for a relationship to work, both partners need to communicate and ask one another how they’re doing. 

In a fake relationship, you’ll notice that the other person never asks how your day was. They don’t want to know what’s going on at work. Even more than anything, they don’t ask how you’re feeling. 

18. Lack of quality time

When you’re home alone, he’d rather be doing something else. When you try to come up with ways to become more connected, they either don’t work or the plans fall through for some reason. Overall, it results in a lack of the two of you spending quality time together. 

If you’re not sure whether you are or not, don’t look at how often the two of you are in each other’s presence. (It’s not quality time if one of you is on the phone the entire time you’re together.) 

Instead, look at what the two of you do together. Do you cuddle and kiss while watching a movie? Do you sit next to each other? Is he always in the other room, busy with something else? Asking yourself those questions will help you determine how much quality time you’re actually spending with your partner. 

19. He doesn’t want you to talk about problems in the relationship with others

he doesn't want you to talk about problems in the relationship with others

In order to maintain the image of perfection, he’ll need to make sure that no one else realizes that the relationship is fake. He won’t be comfortable with you discussing relationship problems with other people. Instead, he’ll insist that the issues are between the two of you. It’s one more way that you guys are the perfect couple. 

FAQs

What are the signs of a fake relationship?

The main signs of a fake relationship are when the two of you are not emotionally close, there is little or no communication, and he doesn’t seem to care unless you are in front of other people. One partner will be genuinely invested in the partnership while the other will only care about looking great for other people. 

What is a pretend relationship?

A pretend relationship is also known as a fake relationship. This is when a person wants to be in a committed relationship, but their feelings towards the other person are fake. Instead, they lie and play games to give you the impression that they care, when really they just care about the status they have because they are with you. 

Can someone fake a relationship?

Yes, they can. This is surprisingly common. While they might be in a relationship with you, they won’t act as though they are head over heels in love with you. They won’t be eager to have honest communication or work through problems with you. Instead, they’ll simply comfort you and go back to faking it. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

How do you know if he's faking love?

It always feels like there’s too much distance between the two of you. There’s not an emotional connection. He tells you little white lies and insists that there is no big deal. When you try to talk to him, he usually misses the point because he doesn’t really listen to you. 

How can you tell if someone is faking happiness?

No matter how happy they seem to be, they isolate themselves. They’re tired all of the time. This is because it’s exhausting constantly sucking up your emotions. They have mood swings. Sometimes mood swings are big, sometimes they are mild. The size isn’t the point. It’s the fact that they have become a part of their daily routine. 

In Conclusion

When people fake a relationship, there is usually one person that is madly in love with the other one. However, the other person in the relationship stings them along for their own selfish reasons. Have you ever been in a fake relationship? How did you realize you were involved in one?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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