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How to Have Sexual Dreams: 17 Proven Tips

If you are searching for how to have a sex dream, then you have come to the right place. Finding out how to have a sexual dream can be pretty frustrating, considering there aren't many resources. 

Fortunately, I have taken the time to collate 17 proven tips to help you have erotic dreams. Before providing the tips, however, it is important to understand what sexual dreams are.

What Exactly Are Sexual Dreams?

As it stands, dreams and where they come from continue to confuse many. There are numerous theories about why we dream and what those dreams mean; however, no one knows for sure. What we do know is that sexual dreams are extremely popular.

Statistics show that over 70% of individuals have had lucid sex dreams before. Nevertheless, it is difficult to ascertain what makes us have hot and heavy dreams. 

This does make you wonder if it is possible to have sexual dreams yourself. At this moment, there isn't a one size fits all way to get sex dreams; however, you can follow a couple of tips.

What Causes Sex Dreams?

There are various reasons why you get sex dreams. Also, dreams reflect many things about us, so sex dreams might indicate a variety of things. They are:

1. Self-love

Sexual dreams that involve having sex with another person could point towards self-acceptance or feelings of self-love. For instance, if you are heterosexual and you have a gay sex dream, then it could symbolise a union with components of yourself. This is a symbol of self-acceptance, compassion, and self-love.

Furthermore, if you are dreaming about “getting to know yourself,” it could mean that you are on a spiritual journey of learning to love yourself. This combines self-love and self-acceptance. You will have to love who you are and accept that part of yourself, including your shortcomings and flaws.

Considering that sexy dreams can result from variables that have no connection with sex, you should simply go with the flow and enjoy it. If you are lucky, you might even experience an orgasm—yes, you can have an orgasm from lucid sex dreams while sleeping, which can be wonderful.

2. Insecurity

Lucid dreamings that many people have at times can be triggered by insecurity

For instance, if you have a sex dream where your spouse is cheating on you, then it could be that you are insecure in your relationship. This dream doesn't mean you have suddenly gained the "sight" and your partner is cheating. Such lucid dreams could be your brain's way of pushing you to initiate a conversation.

Conversely, if you are dreaming about not performing well, then it could be that your brain wants to highlight that insecurity you might have in that specific part of your life.

3. Admiration


It could simply be admiration if you have ever had recurring wet dreams about a particular person. 

When you dream about having sex with a particular person, it doesn't mean you will be necessarily attracted to them. Taking the time to unwrap the dream and discover our association with it will show that the person we dream about has some qualities we wish we had. 

Also, it could be a sense of adventure or confidence; whatever the qualities are, a sexual dream can point us toward ourselves.

Simply put, if you keep having sex dreams about a particular person, regardless of if they are your boss, colleague, or best friend, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to have sex with them. It could mean that you believe there is an amazing quality about them.

4. Attraction

Attraction is perhaps the first reason most people recall when they have a wet dream. And while most dream experts will say that sex dreams are inherently due to sex, being attracted to someone in your day-to-day life means that they could show up in your dreams at some point. 

Sometimes, those dreams become sex dreams fuelled by your sexual thoughts.

Just as people have sexual thoughts about someone in their life, you can have wet dreams about that person in response to how we feel.

5. Lack of sex

While sex dreams aren’t wholly about sex, if your sex partner denies you, it can lead to sexual dreams. It could be your mind's way of satisfying your body's physical impulses. Simply put, your brain understands your body and knows when you need a sexual release.

When was the last time you had sex? Have you constantly been thinking about sex? Your mind could act it out when you start having lucid sex dreams. 

6. A Burst of creativity

In certain instances, the reason you have lucid erotic dreams is simply down to your imagination. You can have a sexy dream simply because you are imaginative. It could also be because you are interested in exploring a new part of your life.

Creativity and sex are connected, so you shouldn't be surprised that you have sex dreams due to an urge to be creative or have new creativity.

7. Changes in your daily life

Lucid dream experts state that dreams offer a great place to fully express ourselves and our desires. For some, a sex dream can be an allegory for new energy that appears when a positive change happens in our life. This could be changing jobs, taking up a new hobby, or going on a trip.

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One significant example that could induce sex dreams is marriage. Considering that marriage is a significant commitment that transforms your life, especially as a woman, your mind can process it in numerous ways. For some people, one way is via sex dreams.

17 Tips to Have Sexual Dreams

17 tips to have sexual dreams

Now that you understand why you get sexual dreams, it is important to learn how to have sexual dreams. For those desiring to have more sex dreams, the tips here can help as well. 

With that in mind, here are 17 tips to have a sex dream.

1. Rediscover your senses

To rediscover your senses means noticing what appeals to you and what doesn't. Doing this can fast-track your learning of how to get sex dreams. Indulge in your senses and you should be on your way.

2. Cut out the stress

Stress and anything sexual do not mix. You need to have a clear mind as worrying or thinking about other things could get in the way. In other words, to feel sexy, take time to creatively avoid stress.

Thankfully, sex itself is a way to destress. Besides, you can try some stress reduction tips like sleep, shower, reading, taking a walk, etc. 

3. Own your physicality

To do this, you must pay close attention to how you sit, talk, breathe, dance, and walk. All of these seemingly mundane things need to be considered when learning how to have a sexual dream. You can connect every physical expression of your being to your sexual self.

Also, you will have to do this consciously for a while, and it will become second nature to you over time.

When you do this, you begin to have a certain pep in your step, turning heads without those around you knowing why they are drawn to you. 

This can also ignite something deep inside anyone you meet. Having this energy and power can do wonders when trying to learn how to dream about sex.

4. Learn how to practice erotic observation

learn how to practice erotic observation

This tip is all about first discovering what erotic observation is and how this practice can appeal to you. To do this, you must think like an artist and fall in love with yourself and your surroundings. Discover and recognize how they make you feel. 

Let your spirit and beauty connect and blend with your surroundings. Allow your subconscious erotic and sexual power to take you into what is about to be a beautiful dance of life.

5. Don’t rely on your partner to help you express your sexuality

If you want to know how to have wet dreams, your partner might not help. Your sexual fantasy and creativity are important. This is especially important as most women only get to express their sexuality from their partner's viewpoint. Getting in touch with your sexuality doesn’t have to be limited to only when you engage in sexual activity.

As stated earlier, most of us tend to rely on our partners to trigger our expression of sexuality to different levels of success. Doing this can take control of our sexuality out of our hands. 

We need to wrest control back by taking an active role in expressing it. Doing this opens up our lives to new possibilities, and allows your subconscious to express itself.

6. Get to know your body

The simple fact is that we all come in different sizes and shapes. The key to knowing and owning our body is to accept that fact and own it. 

Your body doesn't have to be in its best form; you must acknowledge that it is yours. Doing this gives you the charisma and confidence that can significantly ramp up your sexuality.

7. Get out of your head

Sometimes being in your own head can make things more difficult for your sex life. If you want to know how to get sexual dreams, understand when to let go of your mind and opposing thoughts. You can lay in bed and concentrate on your body and your senses before falling asleep.

Experiencing life via your senses and body can make you feel delighted and delight those around you. Just as with real-life sex, it can be difficult to get sex dreams if you are stressed, worried, or concerned about something in your life. 

Plus, constantly living in your head isn't something you want to do unless it makes you feel sexy. In this case, you can light up that passion needed to have a wet dream, and enjoy real sexual pleasure.

8. Acknowledge that the expression of your sexuality is exotic

You would be surprised that many people hold this belief—expressing yourself sexually is something you should revel in. 

Not only will those around you see that you have a certain inexpressible factor, but it can make your mind open to lucid dreams and the sexual arousal that comes with it.

9. Focus on pleasing others and being pleased

focus on pleasing others and being pleased

This tip means you have to concentrate on being indulged. It could mean giving yourself to others, sexually or non-sexually. It also means receiving without protest, as your partner (if you have one) is more likely to appreciate your enthusiasm. 

All of this might seem like a great way to spark sexual arousal and sexual fantasies in your life, manifesting as sexual thoughts while you are asleep.

10. Acknowledge that sexuality and sex aren't things to be ashamed about

Some of us have grown up to see sexuality and everything linked to sex as shameful. As a result, erotic dreams, and lucid dreams about sex could be a taboo for some. This might be especially true for those with a religious background. 

We have been taught that righteous women shouldn't want or crave sex, and while we know that not to be true, it can be difficult to shake off the feeling of shame.

One of the keys to getting lucid erotic dreams and more control over your sex life is to process all the feelings that might invoke shyness or shame. No longer should you repress your unhelpful and unwarranted beliefs and feelings about sex and your sexuality.

11. Educate yourself

Contrary to popular belief, especially one touted by men, there is always room for improvement in satisfaction, sexuality, and sexual performance. One of the tips on how to get sexual dreams is to simply educate yourself about that part of your life. 

This means you can study erotica, read an erotic novel, learn how to arouse yourself, and inspire your senses.

If you are learning how to get sex dreams, this education takes priority.

12. You need to prioritize your sexuality and sex

While this might seem counterintuitive, it can work in your favor. Life is a lot smoother and more surprising when you do. Constantly remind yourself that sex is meant to be enjoyed not something to be ashamed of. 

So dreaming about sex could be your body’s way of craving sex, especially if your current partner is not satisfying you. As a result, to have a sweet wet dream, embrace your sex life and be open to fantasies.

13. Have a dream journal near you and document

The first thing you do when you wake up is to write down everything you have dreamt about in your dream journal. The brain is so peculiar that even people that say they don't dream still have something to write down about the night before. 

We don't remember because the brain gets rid of information over time—sometimes getting rid of a dream within minutes of waking up—to make space for more pertinent information.

For this reason, you need to act fast when you wake up. This step is particularly important if you have extremely detailed dreams. Recording your erotic dream in your dream journal–how you walked into the bar and spoke with someone interesting–can help you build up the narrative for the next time you dream.

14. Practice makes perfect

One of the first things you learn when trying to discover how to have a sex dream about someone specific is that you are unlikely to have the sex dream you desire the first time around. 

You will want to practice the same thing every night. With this, you shouldn't be discouraged if having the sex dream you want takes time.

15. Think about the dream and set the stage when lying in bed

think about the dream and set the stage when lying in bed

In learning how to have a lucid sex dream, your environment matters. To facilitate the sex dream, try to set your atmosphere like you want to have sex in real life. This means having clean sheets and taking a shower if that will help. It will go a long way in supporting your fantasy. 

You can set up your lucid sexy dream by playing the dream out, one step at a time. When doing this, imagine meeting someone at the bar, think about the clothes you have on, what they are wearing, and also imagine what the conversation is about. 

Once you have this setup, you can dive into the naughty part, concentrating on the details. Eventually, you will fall asleep and drift off into dreamland, where you might have sexual dreams.

16. Get into some sexy lingerie

You can choose to trigger your mind into having sexual dreams by going to bed in silky sexy lingerie, just like you will do with your current partner. Alternatively, you could simply go to bed nude to enhance blood flow to various body parts. 

When you go to bed, you must have some routine. Doing this can help you set up the dream and support your journey to orgasm.

17. Act it out in real life

As stated earlier, sexual dreams typically reflect every situation we have going on in our day-to-day life, so it might not hurt to play out your sexual fantasies as best as you can while you are awake. 

While it is possible to do all of this in your mind, you can boost your chances of having sex dreams when sleeping by setting the stage—sexy music, candles, mood lighting, vibrator—and then go to town. 

Doing this is in the hope that your mind picks up on your physical cues and renders them while you sleep. If you want to know how to dream about having sex, this step is crucial.


Can you have a sex dream about someone specific?

Yes, it is possible to have a sex dream about someone specific. Most of the time, when we desire someone that we feel we cannot have in real life, the mind might consider to ‘sex dream’ about it. 
This is the brain’s way of testing out the idea while sleeping and seeing if it will work.

Can you have sex in a lucid dream?

It is possible to have lucid sex, and it gets quite easy to do once you are experienced with lucid dreaming. Besides, many people have had such dreams, and reported that it felt so vivid and real, even to the point of achieving orgasm.

Once you condition your mind, dreaming about sex will come easy when you sleep.

What can cause sexual dreams?

There is a range of variables that can cause sexual dreams. For one, it could be a lack of sex in your waking life. It could also be self-love, insecurity, admiration, a burst of creativity, or simply attraction.

Sex dreams can also be traced to what you imagine. Also, a huge change in your life can trigger sex dream.

Are sexual dreams normal?

Yes, sexual dreams are perfectly normal and can even be healthy. Such dreams are more common than you imagine, and make up about 8% of all dreams, according to research.

Almost everyone has had sex dreams at one point or another in their life.


After reading this article, you should be on your way to having a great time when you fall asleep. Remember, you need to think sexy thoughts since your dreams reflect your thoughts when awake. 

If you are thinking about sex throughout the day, this can translate into the dreams you have at night. You can also visualize the setup of your dreams. Consider your perfect sex dream and fantasize about it playing out. The more you think about it, the better you will be at it at night.

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