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Couples Sleeping Position Meaning (23 Things Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship)

The position that you and your partner sleep in can tell you a lot about your relationship. Sleeping positions are usually misunderstood though. Most of us think that if two people sleep far away from each other that there is a problem in the relationship. This can mean that you two are comfortable with each other. 

Learning more about couple sleeping positions can help you determine what’s going on with both you and your partner. 

Couple Sleeping Positions And What They Mean

couple sleeping position and what they mean

Your sleeping position can tell you quite a bit about your relationship. It can tell you if one partner wants or needs more attention. Couples can also see if they have a healthy relationship. What your sleep position says usually isn’t what you think, though. 

That’s why it’s important to make sure that you have accurate information before jumping to conclusions about why you and your partner don’t face each other.

1. Spooning signals protection and comfort

Spooning is always seen in the movies. It’s not the most common sleeping position for couples. Only a small percent of couples claim this as one of their favorite couple sleeping positions. It can be uncomfortable. Couple sleeping positions like this almost feel claustrophobic for some. 

If you and your partner enjoy sleeping in this position, it says that the big spoon is protective over the little spoon. It can be very comforting to both partners. 

The person that is the little spoon in spooning couple sleeping positions tends to be more nurturing and may need to be nurtured. A sleep position like this will make them feel safe in their partner’s arms. 

2. When a man is a little spoon it could mean he’s an amazing partner

For a long time, it was traditional that a man was the big spoon, and a woman was the little spoon. However, this has dramatically changed over the years. Today, couples are sleeping in a sleep position that feels right to them. 

Men that opt for the big spoon position are said to be more submissive and caring. These guys are more likely to be in touch with what is considered their feminine side, too. For some women, this means that if he’s the little spoon he’s going to be an amazing partner. 

3. Spooning is a sign of intimacy

When it comes to couples sleeping with each other in intimate couple sleeping positions, spooning each other is at the top of the list. This is more than just one partner being protective. 

The big spoon might be protective over their partner, but they are also very close intimately. 

Couples that avoid sleeping on their own sides of the bed in favor of sleeping nestled together are usually very close to one another. They are more than just another couple, they are best friends at the same time. Intimacy for these couples doesn’t stop in the bedroom. 

4. Loose spoon symbolizes comfort and room to breathe

loose spoon symbolizes comfort and room to breathe

As you progress as a couple, it’s common to go from tightly hugging one another to being loosely in the same position. This is called a loose spoon. It’s the same position, but with a little bit of space in between the two of you.

A loose spoon might look like there is a problem in the relationship because couples have more space between them, but this isn’t necessarily the case. The spoon couple sleeping positions symbolize that one partner feels protective over the other one. Typically, this is the big spoon. 

Space in between couples often symbolizes that they feel comfortable as a couple. Both people in this couple have room to breathe in the relationship. Healthy couples have that space to themselves, even when they are together. 

5. Not facing each other symbolizes trust

Turning away is another couple sleeping position that is often misinterpreted. If you see a couple do this and it is not out of anger, it often symbolizes trust. When one partner or both feel secure in the relationship, they don’t need to keep an eye on the other one via a particular sleep position. 

6. Illegal spooning means one partner needs something

An illegal spoon is a sleep position that can best be described as one person being the spoon, and the other person tending to not spoon. Instead, that one partner is over towards the edge of the bed, almost as if they are running away from the spoon. 

This couple's sleeping position means that one partner needs something from the other. Needing to be chased is a common cause behind this. Perhaps one partner doesn’t feel desired, or they simply need to feel wanted a bit more. 

Couples that find themselves in this position are due to add a little bit of romance into their relationship. The person on the edge of the bed might not feel the spark and be attempting to rekindle it. 

Another common cause of this sleep position is that one partner needs space in the relationship. They are literally trying to run away. Communicating can help couples determine which one is happening to make sure that partners are able to meet each other's needs. 

7. Sleeping entwined means emotional bonding

This is one of the couple sleeping positions that is frequently seen at the beginning of a relationship. Each partner is facing the other one. Arms and legs are entwined. Most couples prefer this sleep position in the beginning. Emotional bonding will result in this sleep position too. 

However, if you opt-out of this sleep position, it doesn’t signal that there is something wrong with the relationship. Most couples will pick another position because it can be hard to get a restful night’s sleep. This position is almost a guaranteed recipe for stiff legs and arms that have fallen asleep. 

8. Starting entwined and ending up on your own side of the bed

starting entwined and ending up on your side of the bed

This is another position that is often misunderstood. If you start off sleeping on your own side of the bed, that’s different than this particular position. Instead, this one starts off as the two of you entwined. Then, either shortly before or after falling asleep, you switch positions. Ultimately, you both wind up on your own side of the bed. 

Trust is the reason that this happens. Not having to be right next to your partner says that you both trust one another to do your own thing. Couples that can sleep like this often have a healthy relationship

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9. Not touching each other is a good thing

Couples who sleep not touching each other might appear to have a stale relationship, but this body language indicates that both partners in the relationship have independence. Being secure in the relationship can also result in this position. 

10. Butts touching or back kissing signals you’re comfortable

Couples who sleep facing away with their back to each other usually pick one of two positions. One of those positions is when their bodies are not touching, but their butts are. Often, this is referred to as a moon landing or back kissing position

Moon landing means that your butts are touching. It’s as if you’re both in a spoon position, but facing away from the other person. Back kissing is exactly what it sounds like. Your back is to your partner, but your back touches their back. 

Couples who sleep in these positions are secure in their relationship. Each person is comfortable with the other one and feels safe enough to have their back to them. Relationship partners that enjoy this one have typically been together for several months or a year. 

11. The leg hug could mean one person is chasing the other

The leg hug position is exactly what it sounds like. One person has their leg intertwined with the other person’s. Sometimes, both people in the couple will do this to each other. 

When only one person is doing the leg hug, it can signal that they are chasing after the other person. It can also be a sign that they need more affection or intimacy in the relationship. This position might mean that the person not hugging the other person back needs space or would like to be more independent in the relationship. 

12. Mutual leg hugging could mean you’re passionate about each other

Mutual leg hugging in a relationship can be interpreted as a mutual interest. Often seen as a sign of connection and balance, couples who sleep while mutually leg hugging each other are said to have a good relationship. 

13. Leg hug position could mean you’re ambivalent about affection

Sometimes, people are not as into affection or displaying their emotions through affection as other people. Not displaying affection isn’t a bad thing, but only as long as both people in the relationship are on the same page. 

A position like this might be the perfect way for a couple to show each other that they like each other without the extra affection that positions as the spooning position provide. 

14. One person’s head being higher signals more confidence

Most of us don’t think about how high we are in the bed when we go to sleep, but that is as important as the rest of the sleep position. If one person tends to sleep higher in the bed, this is a sign that they have more confidence than the partner sleeping with their head lower. High self-esteem in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing, though. 

15. Like-minded people sleep at the same height

like-minded people sleep at the same height

If you and your partner are on the same page, your heads will more than likely be the same height. Keep in mind that this can only be accomplished in a certain sleep position, though. 

If you’re spooning, the big spoon is going to get a mouth full of hair, so it simply is more comfortable to move a little bit higher. It can be helpful to look at the entire sleeping position to determine what it says about the relationship. 

16. Disregard for your space in bed means disregard for you

When a couple sleeping next to each other finds that one partner hogs the entire bed, this could be a sign of trouble. The partner taking up all the space with their starfish sleep position will not regard the other partner in bed, and might not regard them in the relationship. The dominant behavior might also signal that they control the relationship. 

17. Stomach sleeping is a problem

When both partners in a relationship sleep on their stomachs, it’s the opposite of the spooning position. Instead of intimacy, it signals that both people in the relationship feel anxiety, a lack of trust, and could signal emotional fear. 

For most relationships, this spells trouble. However, a couple sleeping on their stomachs isn’t always bad news. When both partners have an anxiety disorder, you’ll see them both sleeping on their stomachs. 

18. Being tangled together could signal co-dependence

There is nothing sweeter than a new relationship when two people sleep facing each other. No one has their back to the other person, and arms and legs are tangled together intimately. Being tangled together is a common position in new couples that can’t seem to keep their hands off of each other. 

As the relationship progresses, so does the sleep position. This is when one person becomes a space hog, or the leg hug develops. However, if you stay tangled together even though you’ve been in a relationship for months, it can say a lot. One theory is that one or both people are too dependent on the other one. 

This is because this position shows two people as one. It does not offer room to breathe and grow as other positions do. It also does not give a person space, which everyone needs in a relationship. 

19. Sleeping on your back indicates confidence

When a person sleeps on their back, it can say a lot. This position shows that they are sure of themselves. If they have an arm wrapped around a partner and are cuddling with them, this position shows that they are protective over their partner. 

20. Laying your head on his chest is a sign of trust

laying your head on his chest is a sign of trust

When he’s laying on his back and you lay on his chest, this position shows that you trust him. It’s a sign of protection on his part because he is laying on his back and a sign that you trust him to protect you on your part. 

When sleeping in this position, pay attention to other body language, like what’s going on with your arms and legs. If they are tangled together, this means that the two of you are intertwined together as well. 

21. The nuzzle position can mean you’re head over heels in love

If you find that your favorite position is him on his back with your head on his chest, it can simply mean that you’re head over heels in love. People that sleep facing each other are more intimate. 

Embracing each other in this position is a strong indicator that the two of you are still romantic, and the spark is still there. Some couples sleep in this position for their entire relationship, but some only when the spark is there. 

22. Cliffhanger is a good thing!

This position gets its name because it appears as though one person might be about to hang off the cliff that is the edge of the bed, or their foot is dangling over. This is one of the positions that became famous for being the position of choice after an argument. That’s not always the case, though. 

If two people are both sleeping in their own favorite positions and doing their own thing, it’s a sign that they are secure enough in their relationship to do their own thing as well. The body language of positions like this is the language of independence. 

23. Holding hands while sleeping

Most people view this as the same as sleeping with your back to a partner after a big fight, but it’s not. Holding hands signals that there is still intimacy in the relationship. It’s the perfect position for couples that like their personal space, both inside and outside of the bed. 

The small amount of affection shows that the couple sleeping in this sleep position is a couple that doesn’t feel the need to cling to each other. They are secure in their relationship, but the love is still there. 

Keep Other Factors In Mind

When you see a couple sleeping, it’s easy to jump to conclusions about their relationship, particularly if you just finished reading this article. Things like one person hogging the bed can spell disaster, but that doesn’t mean that you should take everything to heart. 

When using a guide like this one to determine what a couple sleeping together says about them as a couple, every factor should be considered. 

Other factors can always play a role in how a couple sleeps. For example, one person may get night sweats, which is the reason that the couple sleeps on different sides of the bed. The couple could be madly in love, but not like affection. Body position doesn’t tell you everything about a couple. 


What does your couple sleeping position mean?

The tangled position is common if you’re in a new relationship. People who sleep in this position after six months might be dependent on each other. Butts touching or backs touching means that you are secure in the relationship. Facing away from one another means that you have trust. 

What is the best sleeping position for couples?

The best position for a couple sleeping positions is what they are most comfortable in. If you can’t fall asleep in certain positions, that’s fine. However, if one of you chooses to sleep like a starfish or can only fall asleep on your stomach, it’s time for a conversation. 

Is it healthy for couples to sleep apart?

Yes! When couples sleep apart it signals that they have trust in one another. Both people are able to spend time on their own. Co-dependent people have difficulty sleeping like this. Instead, they will sleep like they are still in the honeymoon phase. Stomach sleepers and starfish sleeps signal unhealthy aspects of the relationship. 

Is it healthier to sleep naked?

Sleeping without clothing improves blood circulation. This is exceptional for your heart. It also has anti-aging benefits. People that sleep naked usually have a healthier body image. They even get a better night’s rest. A final reason to ditch the pajamas is that sleeping nude reduces stress. 

What is a honeymoon hug?

A honeymoon hug is the preferred sleep position for a lot of people in new relationships. It gets its name from this stage being the honeymoon phase. Both people lay on one side and face one another. Their arms and legs are tangled together. 


Stomach sleepers and starfish sleepers might be a concern, but if one of you chooses to sleep on one side of the bed while the other is on the other side of the bed, it’s not a problem. Is there anything that you would add to the list?

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