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Who Should Text First After A Date? Here Are The Dating Rules

Last updated on June 6, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Have you been on your first date and are now unsure whether to text him first or wait until he texts you?

The can be one of the most exciting times but also the most anxious times of your life.

In a minute we'll get into exactly who should text after a first date, so make sure you keep reading...

However, before you send that text, I want to mention something important...

I always recommend digging a little bit deeper to find out more about the person you just had a date with.

Things probably feel great right now, you have butterflies in your stomach, you can't stop thinking about him....

We've all been there...

However, with the risk of sounding like your mom, the last thing you want to do is invest in someone that may potentially have something to hide and end up heartbroken...

That why, before you send any texts, I recommend running his name through a simple online background scanner to see if anything comes up.

Perhaps he's seeing someone else already...

Perhaps he's a fellony on the run...

Perhaps he's already married with children...

I know it may sound far fetched but you wouldn't be the first one.

This background checker will give you a pretty good sense of the type of person that he is and whether you should even text him.

If something comes up it's better to know now than later!

However, if it turns out he's the great guy that you thought he was, then keep on reading because I'll tell you exactly whether you or he should text first.

My Personal Story On Who Should Text First

I remember my first dates, after I had it made through the first date successfully (or what I believe  to be successfully) then then worry doesn't just end there because then I would worry about whether should be the first to text or not. Back in the day, I was always unsure whether to text first and also when to text because I never wanted to look too eager nor did I want to look like I didn't care (unless I actually didn't care).

All of my experiences have led me to be able to give some great advice on what you should do after your first date and whether or not you should be the first to text. Here are the 5 dating rules that I think you should swear by which should help you answer who should text first after a date.

Ask Him Out

Ask Him Out

Before I talk about whether you should text him first, I want to go right back to the start. I always say that if you like a guy then there is no harm inn being the one to ask him. Why do you have to wait around for him to ask you out? If you're scared of rejection then I can more than understand why this could be a problem but what if the guy you like is scared of rejection too?

If you're both scared of rejection then neither of you will make the first move which means you will never go your first date. Sometimes the best thing to do when you like a guy is to pluck up the courage and ask him out. If he says no then it isn't the end of the world, at least then you can move on and stop fretting over him.

I would never take rejection as a dent in your self-confidence because he may not see you both as being compatible which is fair enough. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you just need to get yourself out there to find them.

Paying For The Date​

Paying For The Date

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

We are in the 21st century now so it is very normal for women to pay for a date. To be honest,your date probably won't let you pay but he will remember your genuine offer which will make believe that you are independent and give rather than take.

As the date comes to an end and the cheque comes, just offer to pay but make sure that you actually can pay and want to pay. The worst thing you can do is to pretend that you want to pay because you believe that he will refuse and pay because you may come to resent him if he lets you pay. Not only that but men aren't as stupid as you would like to believe and he will see right through your genuine offer to pay. This will give him negative thoughts so you would probably be better off not offering at all if you believe that he should pay.

Make sure you offer to pay is genuine and he will be wowed by your confidence and independency.

Texting After The Date

Texting After The Date

No its time to get to the real business of who should be the first to text. My honest answer is that it doesn't really matter and that you should do whatever you feel like doing. As I came comfortable with being on first dates then I came to realize that I would just do what I wanted.

If I really enjoyed a date then I would text him that night and thank him for taking me out and that I had a great time. This would always get a positive response because he will feel appreciated that he done a good job. If I didn't really feel there was a connection then I wouldn't text at all which might sound harsh but it is better than leading someone on.​

You probably hate this answer but the only person who knows whether you should be the first to text is you. Only you know how you feel about the date and whether you'd like to see him again. If you did like the date and would like to see him again then text him after and say you had a great date. This will start a conversation which you can later ask whether he'd like to do something else if he hasn't already asked.

The only thing I would probably advise against is texting him straight after the date asking him when hell like to go out next. Get a scope of how he felt about the date first by just texting him to thank him for a good time and that you had a lot of fun. How he responds will give you an idea as to whether he feels the same way.

If he responds positive and says that he also had a great time then you are probably clear to ask him when he'd like to do something else. If he doesn't respond to your text then I probably wouldn't text again as you don't want to come across as desperate.

General Texting

General Texting

After you have made the initial text then many of you start wondering how often you should text and how long should you leave it before replying. I don't really think it matters too much as to how long you leave it before replying. I would usually say that to keep interested, wait 30 minutes or so before replying (not to every text) but this is usually advice for after you've had more than a few dates.

Because this is just after your first date, I wouldn't worry too much about how long you should leave it before replying to his calls and text messages​.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

One comment on “Who Should Text First After A Date? Here Are The Dating Rules”

  1. Hi, I went out on my first date with a guy to have a drink after chatting to each other for almost a month. I spent nice moments with him. He kept saying he liked me twice and he enjoyed being that night with me. He paid for the drinks and insisted to drive me home and he gave me a hug and said we’ll keep in touch. Now it’s been 2days and didn’t hear from him. I’m not really sure if I should text him first ! Can you please help ! Thanks

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