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He Said I Love You Too Soon (15 Easy Ways To Respond)

by Sonya Schwartz

It’s funny how much we often want to hear these words from a partner; it’s even more fulfilling when you can say it back. But what happens when the timing is off? You know what I’m talking about. You’ve only been on two dates, and all of a sudden, the man says I love you out of the blues. It’s natural to wonder how to act when he blurts them out.

Saying I love you is ‘deep’; that’s what makes it meaningful. That’s why it can get a bit awkward when you are not sure you feel the same way… or maybe you do. Either way, doing something unnecessary like saying it back or bursting into laughter will not get you anywhere. With that in mind, here are a few things to do if he jumped the gun and said I love you too soon.

15 Ways To React If He Said I Love You Too Soon

1. Be Honest

If you’re a genuine person, then saying I love you too soon leaves you in a scary situation. It’s like being a doe caught in the headlights, and in times like that, it’s easy to do something unnecessary. It could change the course of your relationship, especially if you say it back when you do not mean it.

Once your man says I love you too soon, you need to be honest in your response. The best piece of advice I will give to you is, to tell the truth. No, don’t be rude about anything; simply let him know you are not there yet. On the flip side, if the ‘L’ word doesn’t necessarily spur feelings of uncertainty, perhaps you really like him too. In that case, it may not be that big of a red flag.

2. Call Him Out On His Bluff

call him out on his bluff

Quite often, you can tell how insincere it is when your partner says I love you too soon. Let’s say he said ‘I love you’ to get you into bed, or on the first date. Well, that is a huge indication he is not all in. Unfortunately, some men will say anything to get some quality time between your legs. If that’s what’s going on, you need to let him know that you sniffed out that red flag.

If all he’s after is a physical relationship, resorting to deceit is no way to go about it. You need to be honest with each other about the kind of relationship you have. So, do not let anyone use the ‘L’ word to sway your mind and get away with it.

3. Listen

Saying I love you right off the bat can leave you a bit disoriented, mostly if you just met each other. But before you go around saying I love you back or going off on someone you could be in a potential relationship with, simply listen. I’m not saying he means it, but listening could lead to an honest conversation.

So, don’t be too quick to say or do anything; now, I’m not telling you to give him the silent treatment. That will not work if you want to continue dating this man, just don’t succumb to a reflex action. Listen first, react later.

4. Be Straightforward

This is ‘part 2’ of being honest; you see, some people don’t necessarily say I love you back, but they are not straightforward about it either. Sure, he may not be someone you love, or will ever love, but you need to be firm and concise with your reply. Ladies, no one wants to be led on, and saying the right words at the wrong time could be misinterpreted.

The best thing is to respond to him politely and promptly even if you do not see yourself in a relationship with him. Who knows? You may actually fall in love in the long run.

5. Evaluate Him

So, he said, I love you too soon? There are ways to find out if he’s not trying to jump into bed with you or is merely manipulating you for something else. Yes, if a guy is simply a dog, there are ways to catch him in his own lie. 

Ask yourself one important question after the other; does he listen to you? Is there a sign that he cares about you? Is he disrespectful of any of your decisions?

It’s equally a good idea to get friends and family to evaluate him on all these fronts. For the most part, they can see things you can’t. Altogether, for a second, forget what he said and pay attention to what he does.

6. Ask Him To Wait

ask him to wait

Just because someone says he loves you doesn’t mean you have to be with each other. Especially if you just started dating this ‘special’ someone the other day. Altogether, you need to get to know him before you can actually fall in love. So, ask him to pump the brakes because it takes a second to fall in love.

Asking him to wait will give you both the room to really understand what you want. If he just wants sex, then you will see that sign coming from a mile away. A lot of people cannot pretend for an extended period of time. So, don’t question him too much at first, sit it out, and you’ll catch sight of what’s to come.

7. Gauge The Time Frame

The dating game is a game based on time; for the most part, time tells it all. With relationships, everything is dependent on time; in other words, it reveals ALL things. So once a guy blurts out those words too soon, check your calendar. Has it been a day, a week, or a month; the longer it's been, the more likely it will be true.

Note that this is not foolproof; he might just think that your body is on the menu. If that’s the case, then the previous point must have made it apparent that you’ll see the signs soon enough. 

8. Talk To Him

Sometimes, the most obvious solution is the best option. Once the guy drops the love bomb, a simple conversation can clear everything up. You can always get to the bottom of it by letting him get a word in. If you don't want to wait too long to know if he's actually in love with you, then be intuitive during the conversation. 

There's a lot you can learn from what a person says (or doesn't say); just communicate. He may not merely be trying to have sex with you, but you'll never find out if you don't talk. Altogether, make sure you put some thought into what you plan to say; it's not ideal to send out the wrong signs or signals… this is shaky ground you're treading. 

9. Don't Scare Him Away

Nobody knows the future; one minute, a guy is blurting out the wrong words, and the next, you realize that you just met the love of your life. These things happen, so you have to be careful about the way you react. If there is one thing I've overemphasized here, it's the need to keep your cool. Your demeanor is just as important as your response. 

Of course, it's easier said than done, but it's not impossible. So, try your best not to blow your lid off. Even if he isn't the love of your life, you'll feel good about handling the situation like an adult. 

10. Express Yourself

express yourself

So, he's managed to get the word out there about his feelings; you should have your turn too. Once you've listened, then arm yourself with enough information, you should be in a good position to express yourself. Do you miraculously love him too after two dates? Let him know. Do you think it was too soon to go waving around big terms? Then vocalize it. 

What this does is to show him where you stand clearly. You won't be leading him on or scaring him away on a whim. Remember, you need to ensure that you keep your cool while doing all this; you'll thank yourself later. 

11. Ask Him To Pump The Brakes

In most situations, this is the best response. There may be a few select people who fall in love after ten minutes, but there are not many of them to go around. So, if you feel like he's moving a bit too fast, there is no harm in asking him to take it down a notch. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

If he's a good guy, he should understand that not everyone has had a pleasant experience with members of the opposite sex. In the long run, this leaves many women vulnerable and untrusting. So, if he genuinely feels the way he does, he should have no problem waiting for you to catch up. 

12. Don't Let Your Brain Go Into Overdrive

It's no secret that women tend to overthink things; we're just wired that way. Well, this is a unique issue, and it'll do you worlds of good to calm down and clear your head. 

Do not overthink it; the worst that could happen is that he was lying so he could have sex with you, and that's as normal as breathing these days. So, don't worry your pretty head; if he's not meant for you, the chances are that he'll slip up before you know it. 

13. Reciprocate

Don't be ashamed if you actually share the same feelings. Like I mentioned earlier, there are unique individuals out there who actually experience love in a split second. You may very well be among them. 

So, if you recognized the signs quite early on and didn't want to say anything, hearing it from him will be amazing. Of course, you have to be intuitive; you can never know for sure if he's sincere. Altogether, take it slow for both your benefit. 

14. Run For The Hills

run for the hills

I know I specifically said you shouldn't do this, but if you're not ready for that sort of commitment, it's time to put on those running shoes and split. Do not string this guy along, especially if he's quite serious about what he said. In fact, totally cutting him off for some time is a good way to rip off the band-aid. It may seem harsh, but it's a lot better than leading him on. 

15. Ask Somebody Wiser To Advise You 

At the end of the day, I'm not all-knowing; I truly don’t know exactly how your situation is playing out. I can only give you some basics on how to handle this issue. So, if you've got to this stage and are still clueless about what to do, please ask a respected friend, elder, counselor, etc., to give you a nudge in the right direction. 

FAQs

How soon is too soon to say "I Love You?"

Let’s get started by saying that it's never too soon for some people while others don’t want to hear it. In a nutshell, it’s relative. But, some sources claim that a reasonable period to wait before proclaiming love is three months. Nevertheless, the key is to ensure that you both mean it because saying I love you is no joke.

Why do men pull away when things start to get serious?

There are several reasons for someone to pull away when things start to get spicy. First, it could stem from a fear of commitment; people tend to run for the hills when they can't handle long-term 'feelings.' Again, it could be a power move; in relationships, the person who's more aloof apparently has more power. 

How do I keep him interested after sleeping with him?

Three words, ‘keep it cool’. If you really like a guy, it's a good idea to bid your time after having sex with him. Do not suddenly crowd his space or make an unwarranted declaration of love (or even like). That’s just one part, though; you equally have to leave breadcrumbs; you don’t want him to read your coolness as disinterest.

What can I say instead of I Love You?

There are multiple ways to say those magical words; best believe that your partner will still get the idea. You can say, ‘you are the love of my life,’ ‘I care about you a lot,’ ‘I’m all in,’ ‘I adore you ‘you complete me,’ and so much more.’

How does a man act when he's falling in love?

The proof is in the little things, how he looks at you, the small things he notices about you, how he treats you around the guys, among other things. Altogether, when a man is not afraid to be vulnerable around you, that’s a reason to think he’s falling in love.

Key Takeaways

There isn’t anything particularly wrong with saying the words ‘ I love you’; in fact, you probably want to hear it from your man at some point. The thing is that you have to get to know a person before declaring your undying love. So, if you man suddenly quickens the pace and blurts the words out, the above points should help you handle the situation without obliterating your love life

Hopefully, this article nipped your freak out session in the bud, so don’t keep it all to yourself; share it with anyone who needs it. Even more, let’s get a conversation started in the comment section below.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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