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When To Say I Love You (20 Signs You’re Really In Love)

by Sonya Schwartz

While the general consensus of when to say, “I love you,” is 3 months, one study showed it took most people 5 months to say it. So, while saying, “I love you” may seem like a difficult decision, it doesn’t have to be. My opinion? Go at your own pace, and wait until you’re sure you are in love to say that you love someone.

If you are wondering how to tell someone you love them, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s my three-step process for you. First, make sure you are in love. Second, do it when you just can’t hold it in any longer, a time when you don’t care if they say it back because you just have to get it out. Third, just speak from the heart!

The first time you say it can be daunting, but don’t worry; once you’ve said, “I love you,” you can relax and just wait for their first time to say it back. They may not be ready to say those three little words; it’s not that bad. Your timing is just a little off. They will be ready to say it when the time is right for them. 

When Should You Say Those Three Little Words?

When Should You Say Those Three Little Words?

Dr. Mann, from Oprah Magazine, suggests waiting until there’s depth to the relationship. For example, wait until you have agreed to be exclusive. 

What if you said, “I love you” and the person didn’t say it back? Dr. Mann says you should wait until you’re prepared for that feeling to not be reciprocated; make sure you can handle the rejection. If you’re prepared to say it without having it said back, go for it! 

It’s also suggested that you wait until you are sure you are in love. That’s a good point. But how do you know when you’ve fallen in love? Do you have to be together a long time, or is it gut instinct? What are the signs of falling in love? Those are great questions, and we will explore that topic next.

1. They’re There For You.

Do they take care of you when you’re sick? Do you spend all your free time with them? These may be signs that you are in love with this person. They are also indicators of friendship, but the best cases of love start as friendships, so keep all of that in mind as you assess your feelings!

2. You Want To Show Them Off.

Good signs that you are serious about the relationship are wanting to have this person meet your friends and family or having already met this person's friends and family. If you can’t wait to share them, you may just be in love.

3. You Care About Their Happiness.

When you feel the feelings of this person (happy when they are happy or sad when they are down) and genuinely want what’s best for them, you are showing very good signs that this relationship is going in the right direction.

4. You’re Crazy About Them.

Do you feel butterflies in your stomach every time you see this person? Do thoughts and images of them flood your mind during the day? Does your brain go crazy because you can’t be with them every second? These are pretty good signs that you may be head over heels for this guy or gal.

5. They Make You Happy.

This is an excellent sign of love; if they always make you smile when you think of them and if you are genuinely feeling content in the relationship like it's a drug, it may very well be love. So, ask yourself, "How do I feel about this person each moment I spend with them?

6. They Accept You For Who You Are.

If they aren’t trying to change you, that’s awesome news because that’s how it should be. Don’t fall for someone who thinks of who you “could” be; instead, find someone who is enthusiastic about the person you are today. If they love your flaws and all, it may be true love.

7. You Feel Complete Confidence In The Relationship.

Are you to that point where you are no longer worried that the smallest thing might scare them off? If you are feeling safe, comfortable, and confident in the relationship, you are very possibly madly in love!

8. The Relationship Is Easy.

8. The Relationship Is Easy.

If you have common interests and the relationship flows easily, you may be ready to say, “I love you.” Of course, weigh the other signs listed here, but if the relationship is easy and comfortable, that’s a good sign. If you feel super comfortable doing absolutely nothing with this person, that’s even better!

9. You Trust Them Completely.

If you are no longer worried about them cheating or lying, that’s perfect, because trust is crucial in a romance. When you find real trust, even if you’ve suffered infidelity or betrayal in the past, that’s something worth holding on to. It’s not always the easiest thing to find, but if you believe in this person, there’s a good foundation for love here.

10. They Make You A Better Person.

Do they push you, in a good way, to meet your goals, and are they helpful and encouraging? If they make you want to be a better person or if you've actually turned into a better person by being with them, you have some clear signs that things have gone past the “like” stage. 

11. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them.

Do you think about them all day, do you miss them when you're separated and does everything you see or hear about your day remind you of them? Mind-crazy thinking like this is a definite sign that you may have found the right person for you.  

12. They Are The Best Part Of Your Day.

When times are bad, are they good to you, and do you still like them even when they are at their worst or when you are at your worst? If they one of the favorite moments of your day, and if you just long for the moment when you get to talk to them and tell them everything, it's definitely more than just “like.” It sounds like love to me. 

13. You Two Make A Good Team.

Do things just “flow” between the two of you, and do you just instinctively “know” what they’re going to do next? Are they the yin to your yang? If you sense that you are two of a kind and are made to be together, you may just be right, because the best marriages start as best friends.

14. You’re Best Friends.

Speaking of best friends… Are they one of your best friends? In other words, are they the ones that you turn to with your problems, and/or do you depend on their advice? Are you one of their best friends? If you believe that they feel the same way, you may have just found love! A close friendship is everything!

15. You’re Okay With The Gross Stuff.

Can you handle the icky stuff? You know, the bathroom stuff? Do they know about your embarrassing medical issues, or do you know about theirs? When you are close with someone, you share things, but it’s the little stuff that counts in the end.

16. You Think About Your Future Together.

Have you already pictured marriage and kids with them? Do you think past this week’s dating calendar? If you picture a future with them, there may very well be one. When you think about marriage or even just a vacation a year away from now, you may be in love.

17. You’re Bursting With Feeling.

17. You’re Bursting With Feeling.

If you have the gut feeling that this is love, well, sometimes, we have to trust our gut. At times like this, what you know inside is important. Listen to yourself; if you are ready to say it, you probably are, in fact, in love.

18. Compromising Is Simple With Them.

If you are willing to make sacrifices for this person without complaint because you know that they are worth it, this may very well be the real deal. Do they make sacrifices for you? Answer all the questions in this post, and you’ll know if this is love or not.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

19. They Like You At Your Worst.

Have you had a tantrum in front of them like a crying fit or even a nervous breakdown, and did they stick around? If they like you at your worst, I bet you anything, they love you at your best. Trust those instincts and commit yourself to this person.

20. The Intimacy Is Off The Charts.

If your sex life off-the-charts incredible? Also, are you really close to them outside of your sex life? You need that intimate connection, a special bond, for a lasting relationship. Friendship is crucial, but sexual attraction is a must.

FAQs

How Long Should You Date Before Saying I Love You?

The general consensus is three months, but it depends on how much time you spend together, how intimate you are, how virtual the relationship is, and whether you have that “gut feeling” that means you are ready to say, “I love you.” The time frame varies from person to person.

How Long Does It Take A Man To Say I Love You?

It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a year for a guy to say those three little words. Typically, he’ll wait until he’s ready to commit to you, and he’ll want to be sure it’s the right time to say it. Don’t pressure him to say it, though.

Is 3 Months Too Soon To Say I Love You?

It depends on the relationship. If you have spent a lot of time together, know the intimate details of the person’s life, feel like “like” isn’t enough anymore, and just can’t wait to say, “I love you,” then it’s probably just the right amount of time for you.

How Do You Know If You Are In Love With Someone?

It varies depending on the relationship, but usually, you think about the person non-stop; you may find them to be your best friend or at least the best thing in your life. If they make you happy and you care about their well-being, those are good signs it is love.

What Is The 3 Month Rule?

It’s a general guideline as to when you should decide if you want to say, “I love you” or not. After three months of dating, you usually have a good idea if you feel like the relationship is leading toward love or not, but the time frame may vary.

To Sum Things Up...

When do you think one should say, “I love you?” What does it take to feel that intense emotion? What did you think of my list? Do you agree?  

Share your thoughts! We’d love for you to share this article and give us feedback in the comments section.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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