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What Is Gatsbying? (5 Signs You Are Guilty Of It)

You might think you don’t know what gatsbying is, but I can assure you that you are probably guilty of this new dating trend. For the sake of clarification, let me give you a quick breakdown of what gatsbying is. The term gatsbying was coined from F.Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel, The Great Gatsby set in 1922, and its film adaptation that premiered in 2013 for people that hate reading like me.

If you have not watched the movie or read the book, here’s the whole gist. The Great Gatsby devoted all of his energy to throwing extravagant, over-the-top parties just to pique the attention of his love interest (a.k.a crush) Daisy. This kind of over the top, ‘faking’ behavior is term Gatsbying

Unlike thirst trapping, gatsbying is more specific. With this gatsbying dating trend, you are not posting an image to get the attention of numerous people, it’s a calculated act to get the attention of your love interest. It takes a lot of effort as the image is tailored specifically to get your crush's attention. 

This trend is going to be around for as long as Instagram or snap chat or any other social media platform remains and thank God because it’s an easier way to flirt without experiencing rejection. Still in denial, here are 5 signs you are guilty of gatsbying.

5 Signs You Are Guilty Of Gatsbying

1. You do things to get noticed by them

You do things to get noticed by them

Because you are a professional at this, you know their best food, where they work, their favorite hang-out spots, what they do in their free time, and the football club they support which is now your favorite football club too even if you do not know jack about football. This might sound like you are a stalker, but is it really stalking if everything is on their social media? No, I think not.

This new dating trend will have you posting on Instagram regularly. You will post at their favorite hang-out spots. You will also share your views about their best food on Instagram and Snapchat with picture proof of course. 

You also have to act like you did not notice them first and you are secretly hoping they notice you just like the Great Gatsby did with Daisy. I know you are nodding vigorously because you are now familiar with this dancing trend. It’s not your first rodeo and it will definitely not be your last. I told you you were guilty, didn’t I?

2. You feel giddy as you post your picture

Because you know the outcome you expect from the image you posted on Instagram, you feel giddy just thinking about it. Even though you have not started dating them, you immediately imagine the person sending you lots of text messages of how they like you. 

You might also imagine what being with them will be like, your honeymoon location, the name of your first child, and what your children will look like because you trust that you both have an amazing gene pool and together will produce babies that were handcrafted by the gods.

Although the Great Gatsby threw extravagant parties in 1922, with no water and only wine insight, your Instagram or Snapchat story is equivalent to the jaw-dropping parties he threw feeding the eyes of many but hoping to catch the attention of one. The adrenaline and the quick peek at your phone every minute hoping that you get the notification you’ve been waiting for. 

I am sure you understand this feeling, it’s pretty familiar.

3. You follow all of their friends

You follow all of their friends

No doubt, you are guilty as charged of this dating trend if you follow all their friends. And this is very understandable because how will you know their mutuals or what they have in common with them? More so, how will you know what they do in their free time or the type of person their friends think they are? 

I mean, it’s only logical that if you cannot throw expensive celebrations, you dedicate your energy to gatsbying, the trend where all you need is social media and pictures.

So because friend number two tweeted about them always watering their plants, now you know they like plants and there you are watering your own plants—even if you just got them yesterday with picture proof of course. If they like to water their plants, you better make the effort to water your own plants too and take a picture of yourself doing just that. I mean, why not? 

It could be the magic image, the one that makes them notice you even if that’s what you said for the last post.

4. You feel stressed a bit

You might feel all giddy and feel every ounce of adrenaline surge when you are about to post your pictures or when they acknowledge your pictures but you cannot lie about the fact that this trend stresses you out a whole lot especially if they are not so into social media as you are or if they have a busy schedule. You will think of all the worst-case scenarios in the world.

Also, on the days where you don’t get the perfect pictures or the perfect angles (or when you cannot find the perfect captions to communicate your exact feelings), you feel so stressed, terrible and defeated.

5. You had someone in mind the whole time

You know I am right, you were thinking of them from the beginning of this article to this point. The moment you read the first word of this article, you had them in mind. You were nodding your head in acknowledgment of every line I typed. This is because the feelings were familiar and you understood every single point because you’re guilty of a few of them.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I’ve done my own share of gatsbying in the past and I plan to do more gatsbying in the future. So, I am also guilty as charged. I hope you get the attention of who you have in mind and enjoy every part of it,  and may the gods of gatsbying be with you and forever remain in your favor.


What does gatsbying mean?

Gatsbying is equivalent to posting a picture specifically to catch the love interest of a particular man or woman. It simply means you fancy the person, so you get through to them via your social media. The pose, the filters, the caption, and the timing are all tailored for the attention of a single person.

What is gatsbying dating?

Gatsbying dating is a dating trend with the aim of getting the attention of a particular person. It is flirting with a lesser risk of rejection or embarrassment. Gatsbying is almost equivalent to setting thirst traps only that this is more recipient-oriented.

What is benching in dating?

Benching, as a dating trend, is literally what the word sounds like. Someone puts you on a bench and you just wait and watch while they do other things. That’s right ‘benching’ simply means they are seeing other people while you are just there in the background—probably because he or she likes your company or loves a particular thing about you. 

What is orbiting in dating?

Orbiting is a term used in modern-day dating. Orbiting in dating means exes that are in your orbit, but never talk to you. It is also a new trend, and people are not so familiar. They are always on your Instagram story, always the first to open your Snapchat, almost never miss any of your WhatsApp posts, but never talk to you or drop a comment. They are called orbiters and they constantly monitor your life from a bird's eye view.You are simply the “Maybe” person, the backup plan for when their main option fails, the other option.

What is breadcrumbing in dating?

Breadcrumbing is also another dating trend and refers to when a person communicates in a way just enough to keep you interested or get your attention, but not enough to start a substantial relationship. They keep you curious enough to want to know more about them but never define anything about the relationship. It is a certain way of leading someone on and giving a false sense of hope or commitment for a relationship that does not exist.

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In Summary

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Much as this new trend makes it easy to get the attention of someone you are interested in without undergoing the risks that come with rejection. Remember that your self-worth does not rely on the outcome and there’s nothing wrong with just sending a text message. 

But if you can’t be direct like me, I hope you are lucky on your first trial. Your feedback means a lot to me, so let me know how you feel in the comments. Kindly share the article if you enjoyed reading it.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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