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First Date Dos And Don’ts (27 Ways To Act On A First Dates)

by Sonya Schwartz

Dating is such a difficult thing to do at times. Sometimes, we really like a person so much that we can become incredibly self-conscious before a date. That self-consciousness can make us so nervous that we find it hard to meet up with them on a first date and be ourselves

Here, in this article, we look at some first date dos and don’ts that will help you be very successful on any first dates you have lined up. 

Remember, that there are two people on a date so that the person you are meeting up with is just as likely to be nervous meeting you too. They will also want to make a good first impression and want to know or make sure that you are having a good time. 

How To Act On The First Date

Looking at this list can be a little overwhelming given that there are so many dos and don’ts. Try not to worry about remembering all of them, just remembering a few of these first dating tips will put you in a good position to have a highly enjoyable first date with someone. 

1. Do be confident

Most date advice from anyone should include a recommendation to be confident in yourself and your abilities. Remember that you are not only attractive, you also have many good qualities that your date will love to see. Being confident will show them off to their best. 

2. Don’t overthink things

Don’t overthink things

Overthinking things before first dates can stop them dead in their tracks - even before you have even sat down for coffee or drinks. Overthinking things can set your anxiety sky-high so that you don’t feel like your best when the big date starts. 

3. Do ask questions

Asking someone about themselves can be a great idea on a date and can really help open up conversation between you both. And, crucially, it’s important to remember to listen to the answers to give the best impression. 

4. Don’t ask questions that are too deep

This can be a tricky one, but while it’s great to ask your date questions above themselves, try not to get too deep at this point. First dates should be fun and carefree, so that if you get too deep too quickly, you may not have any fun at all. 

5. Do be open to suggestions

Trying to relax while on a first date can be hard, but do try not to have a rigid idea of what should happen can help. Be open to suggestions that your date makes about what you guys get up to that day or evening.  

6. Don’t pander to their every want

It’s so easy on a first date to say ‘I don’t mind’ all the time in an effort to appear easygoing and relaxed. However, this can put a lot of pressure on who you are dating to decide everything and they don’t want to pick something that you don’t feel like doing, so do try to assert yourself at some points.

7. Do get to know them

First dates are all about getting to know a person. Your questions will help do that, but also watching how a person holds themselves or interacts with others is a great way to understand them better. 

8. Don’t start talking about a second date too early

Don’t count your chickens too early on a first date. While you may think that your date is going really well, it can make someone feel very pressurized if you keep bringing up the notion of a second date. 

9. Do wear something you feel comfortable in

Your confidence will be a lot higher if you are wearing something that you are very comfortable in. While this doesn’t mean wearing your pajamas, try wearing something that you don’t fidget with all evening as it doesn’t fit properly. 

10. Don’t wear something you think they will like

Dressing in a way that you think your date will like sets the wrong tone for a relationship. You need to feel confident in your own looks. If you dress for them, you’ll always be wondering if you got it right and won’t be able to relax. 

11. Do wear sexy lingerie

Do wear sexy lingerie

It’s a big confidence booster to wear sexy lingerie on a date sometimes. While it doesn’t mean that you will automatically sleep with them on the first date, it can be enough knowing that you look your best to feel your best too. 

12. Don’t talk about exes

It’s a cardinal first date rule to break if you start talking about your ex. No one wants to know about the past, failed relationships on the first date. Keep things light and fun. 

13. Do be up for unusual dates

Not all first dates will take place in a bar, restaurant, or coffee shop. Be open to suggestions above fun places to go instead. It may be out of your comfort zone, but you could end up having the best time. 

14. Don’t get too drunk

It’s so easily done, but it’s a great idea not to get too drunk on the first date. While it will certainly help you lower your inhibitions, if you become too inebriated, you may find that your behavior is very unattractive. 

15. Do your teeth

Doing your teeth before meeting up with a date is something we should all do as it means that we never have to worry about our breath putting them off. While it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to kiss them, it does at least mean you can without worrying about not being minty fresh. 

16. Don’t go with too high expectations

One of the reasons that overthinking is such a bad idea is that it can set your expectations too high. Once you’ve done this, the person you are dating is likely not to meet your standards and so you come away feeling like your date has been a failure

17. Do check their social media

Checking a person’s social media can help you understand them better and know what they are into a bit more. While some may think of this as stalking, it can actually just help you realize whether you are both compatible or not.

18. Don’t let on that you have Googled them

Of course, don’t let on to him or her that you have googled them or looked through their social media (too much). This can be quite intimidating to a person, however common it actually is in practice. 

19. Do talk about similar interests

If you find that you have similar interests, leverage that and try to engage them in conversation about your mutual hobby. This can be a great foundation for any relationship and can help you both relax instantly. 

20. Don’t get nervous

Being nervous is like applying a set of brakes to a date. It can seriously hinder your ability to engage in conversation easily without stuttering or falling over your words. Remember, there are so many other people you can date - don’t put all your hopes on this one. 

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21. Do talk about yourself

Do talk about yourself

While it is such a great thing to ask a date about themselves and their interests, do spend some time talking about your own likes and dislikes. You will be both interesting and interested in this way. 

22. Don’t get defensive

While we are getting to know a person, we sometimes may not fully be comfortable with their way of talking. Sometimes, when a person means no harm, they can actually say something that makes us a little defensive. Try not to put your guard up too quickly though as this can create an awkwardness between you. 

23. Do show your true colors

However, if you don’t like what a person is saying because you find it truly offensive, it is okay to speak your mind. Don’t pretend to be something that you are not. If you are an outspoken person, be true to who you are.

24. Don’t worry about who is paying

In a day and age where the genders are becoming more equal, it can cause us to worry about who is going to pay for a date. Try not to worry about this. These things tend to sort themselves out somehow. 

25. Do offer to pay 

One of the ways that the issue of paying can be sorted is if you offer to pay - and be genuine in your offer. You can then discuss more openly what you would both like to do in terms of the bill. 

26. Don’t get carried away

If a first date goes well, we can often find ourselves getting carried away and thinking of the future. Try not to. You may well have had a fun night out, but they may not have. 

27. Do ask for a second date when your first date is finished

So often, we shy away from asking about a second date for fear of looking too keen or needy. However, if you don’t ask, you don’t get it. So do ask them whether they are interested in seeing you again. 

FAQs

What questions should you not ask on a first date?

If you are unsure what questions you should not ask on a first date, it can be a good idea to think about what questions you wouldn’t want to be asked. Anything that makes you awkward will most likely make your date awkward too, so try to steer clear of those questions. 

What are some good first date questions?

Good first date questions are open-ended questions that allow a person to open up about their interests as well as themselves. People tend to like talking about things they know a lot about so ask them about their job or hobbies as well as their likes or dislikes.

What should you not do before a date?

You should not do anything before a date that makes you more nervous than you need to be. Talking to people who make your nerves worse can be a bad idea therefore or overthinking the situation can also have a negative effect on you. 

What a guy should never say on a first date?

In general, a guy should never say something on a date that makes you very uncomfortable. If you do, he has overstepped the mark in some way. It can be anything and it can be different from person to person. Either way, ensure that you have the confidence to say what he has said is not ok. 

How long should a first date last?

There is no time limit that a first date should last for. Go with the flow and if the date is going well, it could last a very long time. Don’t be disheartened if the date is short though either. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the first date has gone badly. 

Tips For Your First Date

Following tips for dating can help put our nerves at rest. The most important thing to remember above all, however, is to be yourself. If you are not, you are only setting yourself up for failure further down the road when you cannot keep up the pretense you set when you first went out together. You’ll be happier in the long run for it too. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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