Dating is such a difficult thing to do at times. Sometimes, we really like a person so much that we can become incredibly self-conscious before a date. That self-consciousness can make us so nervous that we find it hard to meet up with them on a first date and be ourselves.
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Here, in this article, we look at some first-date dos and don’ts that will help you be very successful on any first dates you have lined up.
Remember, that there are two people on a date so that the person you are meeting up with is just as likely to be nervous meeting you too. They will also want to make a good first impression and want to know or make sure that you are having a good time.
Looking at this list can be a little overwhelming given that there are so many dos and don’ts. Try not to worry about remembering all of them, just remember a few of these first dating tips will put you in a good position to have a highly enjoyable first date with someone.
Most date advice from anyone should include a recommendation to be confident in yourself and your abilities. Remember that you are not only attractive, but you also have many good qualities that your date will love to see. Being confident will show them off to be their best.
Overthinking things before first dates can stop them dead in their tracks - even before you have even sat down for coffee or drinks. Overthinking things can set your anxiety sky-high so that you don’t feel like your best when the big date starts.
Asking someone about themselves can be a great idea on a date and can really help open up conversation between you both. And, crucially, it’s important to remember to listen to the answers to give the best impression.
This can be a tricky one, but while it’s great to ask your date questions above themselves, try not to get too deep at this point. First dates should be fun and carefree, so that if you get too deep too quickly, you may not have any fun at all.
Trying to relax while on a first date can be hard, but do try not to have a rigid idea of what should happen can help. Be open to suggestions that your date makes about what you guys get up to that day or evening.
It’s so easy on a first date to say ‘I don’t mind’ all the time in an effort to appear easygoing and relaxed. However, this can put a lot of pressure on who you are dating to decide everything and they don’t want to pick something that you don’t feel like doing, so do try to assert yourself at some points.
First dates are all about getting to know a person. Your questions will help do that, but also watching how a person holds themselves or interacts with others is a great way to understand them better.
Don’t count your chickens too early on a first date. While you may think that your date is going really well, it can make someone feel very pressurized if you keep bringing up the notion of a second date.
Your confidence will be a lot higher if you are wearing something that you are very comfortable in. While this doesn’t mean wearing your pajamas, try wearing something that you don’t fidget with all evening as it doesn’t fit properly.
Dressing in a way that you think your date will like sets the wrong tone for a relationship. You need to feel confident in your own looks. If you dress for them, you’ll always be wondering if you got it right and won’t be able to relax.
It’s a big confidence booster to wear sexy lingerie on a date sometimes. While it doesn’t mean that you will automatically sleep with them on the first date, it can be enough knowing that you look your best to feel your best too.
It’s a cardinal first-date rule to break if you start talking about your ex. No one wants to know about past or failed relationships on the first date. Keep things light and fun.
Not all first dates will take place in a bar, restaurant, or coffee shop. Be open to suggestions above fun places to go instead. It may be out of your comfort zone, but you could end up having the best time.
It’s so easily done, but it’s a great idea not to get too drunk on the first date. While it will certainly help you lower your inhibitions, if you become too inebriated, you may find that your behavior is very unattractive.
Doing your teeth before meeting up with a date is something we should all do as it means that we never have to worry about our breath putting them off. While it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to kiss them, it does at least mean you can without worrying about not being minty fresh.
One of the reasons that overthinking is such a bad idea is that it can set your expectations too high. Once you’ve done this, the person you are dating is likely not to meet your standards and so you come away feeling like your date has been a failure.
Checking a person’s social media can help you understand them better and know what they are into a bit more. While some may think of this as stalking, it can actually just help you realize whether you are both compatible or not.
Of course, don’t let on to him or her that you have googled them or looked through their social media (too much). This can be quite intimidating to a person, however common it actually is in practice.
If you find that you have similar interests, leverage that and try to engage them in conversation about your mutual hobby. This can be a great foundation for any relationship and can help you both relax instantly.
Being nervous is like applying a set of brakes to a date. It can seriously hinder your ability to engage in conversation easily without stuttering or falling over your words. Remember, there are so many other people you can date - don’t put all your hopes on this one.
While it is such a great thing to ask a date about themselves and their interests, do spend some time talking about your own likes and dislikes. You will be both interesting and interested in this way.
While we are getting to know a person, we sometimes may not fully be comfortable with their way of talking. Sometimes, when a person means no harm, they can actually say something that makes us a little defensive. Try not to put your guard up too quickly though as this can create an awkwardness between you.
However, if you don’t like what a person is saying because you find it truly offensive, it is okay to speak your mind. Don’t pretend to be something that you are not. If you are an outspoken person, be true to who you are.
In a day and age where the genders are becoming more equal, it can cause us to worry about who is going to pay for a date. Try not to worry about this. These things tend to sort themselves out somehow.
One of the ways that the issue of paying can be sorted is if you offer to pay - and be genuine in your offer. You can then discuss more openly what you would both like to do in terms of the bill.
If a first date goes well, we can often find ourselves getting carried away and thinking of the future. Try not to. You may well have had a fun night out, but they may not have.
So often, we shy away from asking about a second date for fear of looking too keen or needy. However, if you don’t ask, you don’t get it. So do ask them whether they are interested in seeing you again.
If you are unsure what questions you should not ask on a first date, it can be a good idea to think about what questions you wouldn’t want to be asked. Anything that makes you awkward will most likely make your date awkward too, so try to steer clear of those questions.
Good first date questions are open-ended questions that allow a person to open up about their interests as well as themselves. People tend to like talking about things they know a lot about so ask them about their job or hobbies as well as their likes or dislikes.
You should not do anything before a date that makes you more nervous than you need to be. Talking to people who make your nerves worse can be a bad idea therefore or overthinking the situation can also have a negative effect on you.
In general, a guy should never say something on a date that makes you very uncomfortable. If you do, he has overstepped the mark in some way. It can be anything and it can be different from person to person. Either way, ensure that you have the confidence to say what he has said is not ok.
There is no time limit that a first date should last for. Go with the flow and if the date is going well, it could last a very long time. Don’t be disheartened if the date is short though either. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the first date has gone badly.
Following tips for dating can help put our nerves at rest. The most important thing to remember above all, however, is to be yourself. If you are not, you are only setting yourself up for failure further down the road when you cannot keep up the pretense you set when you first went out together. You’ll be happier in the long run for it too.