Although the mass media might have moved onto other talking about other topics, the #BlackLivesMatter movement has never been stronger, and people have been talking about race and racism more than ever in the last few months.
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As a relationship advice website, it seems essential for us to share advice on what we can help with, and this is clearly with relationships. So, in this article, we’re going to be talking about interracial relationships.
Interracial relationships are relationships between two people that belong to different races/ethnicities. Although a lot of people like to glaze over this topic and onto a new one, it’s important to discuss.
Yes, of course, interracial couples are in love just like any other couple is in love, but there are some things that only occur in interracial relationships. For example, clashes of culture, different experiences of life, different upbringings, and much more.
So, because there’s so much more to think about when you’re in an interracial relationship, we’ve created this article, to share 23 tips with you, to make sure that being with someone from a different race goes as smoothly, and positively, as possible. Let’s dive straight in.
This one is incredibly important! You should never ever date someone because you fetishize their race. Well, you shouldn’t fetishize a race in the first place, but it’s definitely completely wrong to date someone simply because you feel sexually attracted to their race.
Instead of trying to seek out certain types of people, be open-minded when it comes to who you fall in love with, and fall in love with them because of who they are, not because you’re sexually attracted to where they are from or their culture - this is a huge no-no.
You need to notice if you’re on the other end of the stick when it comes to someone fetishizing a race. You deserve more than to be with someone that simply wants to be with you because of your cultural background or ethnicity - they should like you for who you are.
You might be able to tell if you’re being fetishized if the person you’re with makes racist fetish remarks or if they’ve only ever dated people of the same race as you.
It’s vital that you never make assumptions about the person you’re with. You should never assume that they feel a certain way, whether that be that you assume they like or hate something, or whether you assume that they are going to act in a certain way. Make sure you’re not racially stereotyping your love by making assumptions about them.
Every time you’re dating someone, you need clear, honest, and open communication for it to be successful. When it comes to interracial couples, this is even more important. As a couple, you will have to talk about race a lot, so it’s important to practice clear, honest, and open communication.
You should also try to communicate without judgment, so neither of you feel like you can’t speak up when something bothers you, or ask a question.
It’s important to realize that you are with someone from a different background, and therefore they will have most likely been brought up differently from how you were. One of the main things this might affect is your partner’s ability to communicate in the way that you want them to. If your communication styles are very different, this is certainly something you need to work on together.
The fact that different cultures exist in the world is a beautiful thing, and each culture should be celebrated and respected. If you’re going to be with people from other cultures, it’s essential that you respect every culture.
Even if you don’t possibly agree with every single part of someone’s culture, it’s vital that you owe it the respect it’s due. If you don’t start off by respecting a partner’s culture, the relationship can’t really move forward from there.
You should definitely make a conscious effort to try and understand your partner’s culture, learn about their roots, their priorities, and what their life is like. You should actively ask questions and start conversations with your love about the different cultures you have. However, it’s important that you don’t push it - don’t force your way into trying to be part of their culture, and don’t talk about it 24/7.
If your partner has to deal with racism, prejudice, and discrimination (which, let’s be honest, pretty much all non-white people do), it’s really important that you try to understand those struggles. You may not have had to deal with these kinds of problems in your life, but your partner has and still does, so try and understand how it makes them feel being treated differently or being judged so much.
For example, if you’re a white person but your partner is a person of color, you will never be able to understand the full extent of what your partner goes through, but you can try to understand and support them.
As mentioned above, you’re going to be speaking about race a lot if you're in a relationship with someone of a different race to you, so you should try and make the conversations as open as possible. This is especially important when it comes to asking questions.
You should try and make a rule with your partner that you are both allowed to ask questions about each other’s race and culture, without judgment (unless you say something completely unreasonable, of course).
You need to feel comfortable enough with your partner for either of you to be comfortable speaking up if your partner does something or says something that you find unacceptable.
Whether your partner offends your culture or does something that’s racially insensitive, you need to tell your partner when they do something that you’re not happy about or comfortable with. This is pretty much the only way you and your partner are going to learn about what’s acceptable for each other, so make sure you speak up.
In different cultures, there’s a different emphasis put on what the priorities of someone’s life should be, and you and your partner might have different priorities. As long as you have some kind of common ground when it comes to your future goals as a couple, then your different priorities shouldn’t have to cause too many problems in your relationship.
You can still compromise and be a great team. For example, if one of you is more focused on work and the other is more focused on having a family, you can work through these different personal priorities to ensure having a happy life as a couple is the main priority.
Hopefully, your partner is completely understanding of your cultural background and interested in it, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Occasionally, someone could potentially fall for you, but not appreciate or want your cultural background to have much significance in your life or your relationship.
Whatever you do, do not let anyone try to take your cultural background away from you. Your culture and heritage is something that’s completely yours, and your partner should support it and try to understand it. If they don’t, it’s time for them to go!
It’s really important to make room in the relationship for accommodating both cultures. Rather than both you and your partner focusing more on a certain culture, you should focus on both and create a fusion of culture in your relationship! From sharing specific meals from your heritage that you love with your new partner to abide by the cultural traditions of your partner’s, it’s vital that your relationship accommodates both cultures properly.
It’s completely normal to have reservations and not get on perfectly with your partner’s family, and that’s without the added cultural differences that occur in an interracial relationship. Although you might be lucky to have two families that support you both, you may find that you have a hard time getting past cultural differences, especially if either set of parents are particularly traditional.
Unfortunately, it’s fairly common that people in interracial relationships have to deal with difficult in-laws and not being accepted because they’re not the same race. However, as long as you and your partner are strong and dedicated to each other, you will get through it.
It’s vital that if you’re not a person of color, you realize that you benefit from white privilege. The sooner you realize that everything you have experienced throughout your life has been easier because you’re white, the more you will start to understand the struggle that your partner has to go through because of racist, ignorant people.
If you date a person of color, it’ll also be unbelievably appreciated by them if you recognize your privilege and use it to increase awareness and try to change systemic racism.
There will most definitely be a fair share of uncomfortable conversations in your relationship, whether it be to do with racism, cultural difference, discrimination, heritage, or different tradition. You have to be prepared for uncomfortable conversations to happen. As long as you’re having uncomfortable conversations with each other openly and honestly, you can move forward stronger afterward.
You also need to realize that you will most likely act differently to your partner in a variety of situations, a lot of the time. This could go from something as small as having different social skills and table manners, to reacting differently to a police officer pulling you over. You need to realize that your partner isn’t always going to act in the same way as you because they’ve been brought up differently and had different experiences.
The conversation about race should never stop, so it’s essential that you broach the big, important topics, whenever you can. Whether you’re reading something in the news or you’re thinking about becoming part of a protest, you need to keep talking about the big subjects that are important to both of you.
Hopefully, you and your love will never have to experience judgment and discrimination, but unfortunately, it does happen. Therefore, you need to be ready for this kind of treatment, right from the beginning of the relationship. As long as you’re both prepared to be strong, you’ll fight through the judgment together. Do not let other people stop you from being together.
Interracial couples can sometimes feel isolated and feel like it’s only them that’s experiencing this mash-up of culture and ethnicity. However, it’s obviously not just you that’s in this situation, and to be sure that you don’t feel alone, it might be useful to connect with people that are in a similar situation.
As much as you might love your partner, it can be tiring to feel like you’re constantly having to compromise your culture and explain about it. So, it’s really important that you spend time with your support network and your community, so you can just take time constantly and be yourself, without having to worry about compromising on your culture or trying to think about someone else's.
Regardless of whatever you have to go through to be with this person, no matter how much you have to talk about race or culture or heritage, or focus on making sure each of you is comfortable and happy, you have to be grateful for this person being in your life. You have someone that you love in your life, so hang onto them and appreciate them.
Overall, you need to understand that you have to work hard in any relationship. So, as long as you’re in love with the person you’re with, you can make it work, no matter what!
Interracial relationships are relationships and marriages made up of two people that are of different races. In the not so distant past, these types of relationships in the US were illegal. However, the Loving Vs Virginia case in 1967 legalized interracial marriage. Although unfortunately, as a lot of people know far too well, those in an interracial relationship may still experience racism, discrimination, and judgment.
Pretty much all of the most used apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Match.com, and eharmony contain profiles from such a wide range of people, from different races and different backgrounds. It’s wise to avoid choosing an app for interracial relationships specifically, because by doing this you are fetishizing interracial relationships, rather than simply falling in love with someone regardless of race.
Assuming that you’re intrigued about the app, BLK, this app does have a wide range of positive reviews and a large user base. So, if you want to use this app, download it and give it a go for free at first. Another popular app for Black individuals to meet is Soul Swipe.
In 2019 in the US, the most popular dating app was Tinder, with over 7.86 million users across the country. Bumble, Match.com, and eharmony come into the running very closely after Tinder, and they’re some of the most successful dating apps.
It seems a little like you’re getting confused with the term interracial. An interracial relationship is between two people of different races. However, biracial is a pretty outdated term to describe someone that has parents of two different ethnicities.
Hopefully, after reading these tips, you and your partner are more prepared to have a successful partnership with each other. Although you might think it’s daunting and difficult, it’s worth it if you love the person that you are with. Just remember, clear and honest communication is the key to making all relationships work.
Did you like this article and find it useful? Let us know in the comments and feel free to share with someone else you think needs to read it!