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Dating A Writer (21 Things To Expect When Dating A Writer)

One thing many women avoid or anticipate is to date a writer. That's because of the stories each one hears. There are so many experiences from people who have dated writers. Some have the best love stories, while other relationships didn't go well.

Writers are like hopeful hermits. They remain committed to writing in their zones until they achieve their aim. They make their career a compulsory lifestyle and make the best use of every opportunity they have to grow.

Depending on your personality, dating a writer could be one of the best or worst experiences of your life. Whatever the case may be, there are numerous things to expect if you want to be in a relationship with a writer. Here are 21 things you should know when dating one.

21 Things To Expect When Dating A Writer

1. They express their emotions with words

Writers are a set of people that express themselves with words. It's not like they can't act, but unlike other creatives, they have their way around words. It's not like they don't confide in people or can't be romantic. But, they would prefer to pen down how they feel before reaching out.

Whenever they have issues or any emotional trauma, they channel their energy into writing. They don't mind spending many hours expressing their thoughts on paper. That's because that works for them. As their lover, you get to enjoy this benefit. Either you get a nicely written card for your birthday or a random lovely pop note.

2. You get to have more personal time

You may not have expected to see this, but it's reality. This is one of the advantages you get from dating a writer. Writers create their zone. They would spend time writing a new draft and would keep at it until it was perfect. This happens most times, especially when they're in a happy phase of inspiration.

During this period, you can spend time developing yourself, and doing the things you love doing the most. You could also decide to hang out with your friends. Most writers would prefer their partners to spend time doing other things when they're busy writing. So, if you're an attention lover, you should rethink your relationship with a writer.

3. They're creative people

As artists, writers are some of the most creative people out there. They put their heart, body, and soul to achieve a particular goal. While artists put their ideas or imagination down with paints and brushes, writers do it in words. They have retentive memories and the ability to create different stories.

So, if you're dating a writer, be sure you have someone who would listen to your patched imagination and put it into good writing. He'll put any situation you both find yourselves into writing, which is their primary way of keeping memories. If you date a writer, you enjoy creativity to the fullest.

4. You have to be mentally there for them

As strange as it may sound, writing is an exhausting activity. That's because it takes mental sacrifice to achieve it. Writers spend a lot of time sitting and thinking in one place for a long time. They could get lost and spend hours writing a particular draft. This means it could affect their way of thinking and response to certain things. 

It's something you should have in mind while dating a writer. Writers go through a lot of rejection. They have to face harsh critiques from publishers, the publishing industry, journals, and everyone who comes across their books. This makes them develop a thick skin in no time. So, it would be nice if you surprise him with a nice smoothie or little gift once in a while.

5. You should love reading to a level

There's a joy men feel when their partners can relate to their careers. This is the same thing that applies to writers. This doesn't mean you should be a nerd or become madly obsessed with books. It only means you should understand and relate to anything they say relating to what they write. 

You should have a love for words, books, articles, or anything related to what they write. This doesn't mean you should put effort into trying to use sophisticated vocabulary or something of such to show you're as smart as they are, or smarter. This is one thing you should expect when dating a writer.

6. You know when they're in love with you

you know when theyre in love with you

Talking about love and romance, writers are very romantic. Most people have a similar love for their partners, but they're unable to express it. Writers would take their time thinking about the right words to say to make you feel special. If you want to date a writer, be rest assured to have a romantic partner. 

Additionally, he'll adore you in ways you can't imagine. You could get the best poems. Writers are so invested in their partners that it's obvious when they begin to fall in love with someone else. They are stable partners and would go all the way to make you feel comfortable in your skin when you're around them.

7. They don't like being told what to write

If you want to date a writer, you should know your opinions won't matter much when it comes to his writing. If it does, it would be once in a while. That's because writers mostly write according to their inspiration at the moment. 

If you're someone who likes to advise her man on what to do, you may want to control that with your writer partner. Even when the idea you're thinking sounds glamorous, you could say it to him as a true story, and leave him to decide if to write it or not. This is something you should expect if you're thinking of dating a writer.

8. Leave them to write whenever they want to

It's normal to crave spending time with your partner. But, try not to stop him when he suddenly has the inspiration to write something. That's because creativity doesn't have a specific time. It develops from the littlest things. So, when he suddenly has an idea, let him write his few genius lines.

Stopping him is almost equivalent to preventing a child from pooping when they want to. Of course, they'll be uneasy until they get to put it down on paper. You need to be patient, accommodating, understanding, and tolerant to survive with someone like this. And it's one thing you should expect if you want to date a writer.

9. They have a great sense of humor

Writers have their way with words. That means they could manipulate it to either hurt you or make you happy. This is why most of them are good comedians. They may not have the time to always say the words the way it is in their minds, but when they do, they could keep you entertained for a while.

Sometimes, they could tell you a funny story they read. They make you feel like you're watching a solo performance. The only thing is that for most writers, you have to develop to a level where you can understand their jokes in no time. But, this is one of the advantages you enjoy while dating a writer.

10. They're either writing or relaxing

As funny as this may sound, writers have a lazy time, too. They have a time when they’re laid back from writing. It may not be anything serious, but that little moment when they have to spend doing something else not related to books. This could be when they're exhausted or stuck in a particular line. 

It could also be when they've reached the top highlight for a period, successfully. That way you get to see them in their happiest and most relaxed state. When they're done relaxing, their next point is to go back to writing. This doesn't mean they won't have time to hang out with you, but a typical way of how their minds work.

11. You get to enjoy late-night dates

One good thing about writers is that they are night owls so having dinner dates with them won't be a bother. Nighttime is when they're free from the busy city life and people's movements in their surroundings. That's when they get a clear mind to have full concentration for their writing.

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So, this is an additional advantage you enjoy when you date a writer. You could organize or fix a dinner date and invite him out. You can be sure he'll respect that invitation. It doesn't matter if it's at the park, restaurant, cinema, or just for coffee. Dinner dates are the best for writers most times.

12. They critique movies a lot

they critique movies a lot

There are numerous critiques when it comes to movies and TV shows. Writers are some of them. The bad thing about this is that they could be loud critiques when they want to be. They’re rarely impressed, especially when a movie has plot holes. They're not afraid to critique a TV show publicly.

The good thing is, that they appreciate movies that have good plots. Like they analyze it when they think it's bad, they use the same energy when a movie is good. They will talk to others about it and commend the writer publicly. This is something you should expect when dating a writer.

13. Writers love to have fun, too

As much as writers get serious whenever they start writing, they love to have fun, too. They may not necessarily set a time to have it by themselves but would honor their loved one’s invitation. If you're dating a writer, you should take out time to encourage them to have fun. 

It doesn't have to be anything serious or extravagant, it could be a little walk outside. You could also invite him to hang out with a few friends. It could be for drinks, games, or anything exciting to loosen him up a bit from accumulated work and stress. It doesn't matter if it's organized by you or someone else.

14. Don't ask them questions while they're writing

Writers are fun to be with but don't go off-limits by asking them questions when they're writing. They don't like it when people do that. You could either ask them those questions before they start writing, or wait until they take little breaks. Calling or trying to get through to them when they're writing could be a huge distraction to them. 

It interrupts the flow of words and crashes their inspiration, depending on how bad the distraction is. So, for you to succeed in a relationship with a writer, you need to know and respect their holy time. That's one way you can get the best of them.

15. It takes time to build a writing career

Getting a book deal is not as easy as many people think. No matter how talented a writer is, they may not be able to please publishers that fast. For a writer, writing a good book and building the best reputation takes time. Sometimes, some of them give up on writing for a while and go back to it when they're ready.

Book deals come after many rejections from publishers. So if you're dating a writer, you should research written things and how much they take to strive. You could do this and focus on your partner's genre so you know how to talk to him about his success.

16. You get to read their write-ups first

One of the advantages of being in a relationship with a writer is that you get to read his books first before they publish them and host book launch parties for them. At that time, he could ask what you think about his writing. He may not necessarily apply what you say, but he'll appreciate your input.

With this, you get to subtly correct him about any mistakes, facts, or grammatical errors before he shows other people. That's the opportunity you'll get to appreciate him, his strengths, book, and talent. Doing this for a writer is one way you can sustain a healthy relationship with him.

17. Writers could get mean sometimes

Writers are very familiar with words, phrases, and quotes. As a result of this, they tend to be blunt with people. They won't do it to spite you, but tell you the reality about your life the way it is. They may not necessarily be mean, but their use of words opens you to the sad part of things.

Writers do this a lot. It's not completely bad. It could be negative or positive for you, depending on his tone and your mood at the moment. But, it's something you should always expect and be ready for, especially when you ask for his opinion.

18. As their partner, you get good advice

as their partner you get good advice

Ever wondered if you could have a partner who could give you good advice? Getting into a relationship with a writer would help you achieve that. As good writers, they're good readers and journalists, too. This means they've heard, read, and seen different people with real-life stories and experiences. 

That makes it easier for them to give you advice without stress. They have different perspectives and approaches to things. So, they may not tell you what your friend or other loved ones would say. Instead, they give you logical reasons why you should or shouldn't do something a particular way.

19. Only read their write-ups when they permit you to

You may be all lovey-dovey with a writer, but don't go off limits and read what he didn't authorize you to read. That's because most times, they write confidential and secretive things with the hope of nobody having access to them. Sometimes, they'd prefer to finish writing before inviting someone else to read. 

So, to avoid any mix-up, try your best to confirm if you can read his write-up before you do. That's when respecting his boundaries becomes very important. Except he permits you to do so whenever you want to. This is something you should know when going into a relationship with a writer.

20. You get to have a free editor

It's not a new thing when people say that many writers are good editors. If you're in a relationship with one, you get to benefit from their good editing skills. Whether it's a career proposal, blog write-up, or random post caption for social media, you get the best views from your writer partner.

If you're thinking of starting any project that requires writing, you can count on your partner. He won't only read, edit, and critique your writing, but educate you on how to go about it in the future. If check this well, it's one of the best benefits you can get from a writer.

21. Wait for them to update you on their writing

Most times when you start a discussion about your partner's writing project, you may not get an encouraging response from him. Sometimes, it's more exciting for them when they start a conversation about their writing. That happens more when they're progressing and everything looks fine at the moment. 

You may not know if they're in the mood to talk about it or not. This is because sometimes they get so frustrated they don't want to utter a word about the writing. They just want to take a break, breathe, and then go back to complete it. You should keep this in check.


How do you date a writer?

Dating a writer is quite easy and fun. All you need to do is respect his boundaries, and everything about his writing, and try to be fun when he has little breaks. Listen to him when he's talking about his career and try your best to give him personal space when he's thinking.

Should I date a writer?

It depends on you and your preferences. What exactly are you looking for in a relationship? Study the writer you like, know his behavior, and see if you can survive with him and be happy. If you can manage his flaws, you're good to go. If not, you may need to rethink it.

Do writers make good lovers?

Like I said earlier, writers are romantic. The same way they love and appreciate their writing is almost the same way they fall in love. They would treat you right and express themselves as much as possible to make you feel appreciated. But, you should also remember that different writers have different personalities.

What is the personality of a writer?

Many writers have been described as being introverted. That's because they're thoughtful, reserved, and introspective. Most times, to improve their creativity, they're observant about their surroundings and other well-established writers. But, there are also extroverted writers. The only thing is that they become quiet when they want to write.

Why you shouldn't date a writer?

A writer may be the most romantic partner out there. He would treat you like a princess. The only problem is that you won't be their main priority. They would always put their writing before you, no matter how much they try to balance everything.


There are numerous things you should expect when dating a writer. Some are positive, while others are not. For starters, don't forget to read the 21 things I've mentioned. I hope you liked this article. If you did, please feel free to drop a comment and share it with others.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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