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Breaking Up Over Text (10 Vital Tips)

by Sonya Schwartz

Do you want to break up with someone in person? Don’t you just wish you could make the breakup process as quickly as possible, so they can leave you alone? 

Well, the truth is, there are many ways to end a relationship with someone, however, telling them in person is more respectable. After all, you did genuinely care about this person, as they cared for you. No doubt, breaking up with your partner over text can be perceived as a very cowardly move to make, especially if your partner didn’t see it coming at all. So, you must carefully think about this move through.

I understand that breakups are messy in person, but until you have to do this via text, don't make it your first option. If you want to break up by text, you’re probably hoping you’ll escape all the messiness, but things can still spiral. 

There are a few ways to write a breakup text to your partner without putting a dent in his heart forever. If you want to know how to send a breaking up text, here are a few helpful tips. 

10 Important Things To Remember When Breaking Up Over Text

1. Ease him into it

Don't just drop your break up texts out of the blue. Start with a simple conversation with him to check where his mind is at. Wait for the right moment to slip it into the conversation that you'd like to break up.

2. Be nice

Breaking up via text may seem rude, so you have to watch your tone. You loved this person before, and we're going to assume that if you could, you would break up with him in person. Use a friendly tone like “Hey Frank, I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings...” 

3. Avoid cliche lines 

Don't send the cliche “it's not you, it's me” text, avoid it like a plague. Along with ”if we're meant to be, we will be back.” Those lines make breaking up via text-sound scripted and impersonal.

4. Don't focus on the wrong

Don't focus on the wrong

It's not advisable to fill the text message with a billion and one things he did wrong, that's beside the point. What's important right now is that you've decided to break up with him. Two or three reasons why are enough. 

5. Expect the call

What are you going to do if he decides to call you after reading your text message? Are you going to answer? If you do, what will you say or will you decline? I bet you didn't think of that.

6. Keep it simple

Don't beat about the bush. I know I said you should ease him into it, but as soon as you get his attention, say what you have to say at once. It shouldn't be an entire epistle if you want him to reply. Here are some simple examples;

  • I think you're a sweet person, what we shared was beautiful, but I don't believe we were meant to be. Is it possible to stay friends?’ 
  • I'm not feeling the vibe we have between us anymore, and I don't want to have to lie to you about it. It's only right that we end this, I hope you understand.

7. Be honest

If you're breaking up with someone, the best thing you can do for them is, to be honest. There's no need lying to them about anything at all; the relationship is over. So, be honest when composing the breakup text.  Here are a few sample text messages that can help in various situations.

  • I thought I was ready for a relationship, but it turns out I'm not. I had a really beautiful time with you and I'm sorry if this hurts you, it wasn't the intention.
  •  I feel like I should just tell you that I only tried this because I thought it was cool, it turns out it isn't. I would like to get back to my life now; I don't care if you don't mind.
  • I don't think we understand each other in the way that I want. The more we try, the more confused we get. I'd rather we end the vicious cycle now. 
  •  I thought I could move past what happened between us, but I can't. You hurt me deeply, and I don't think we should still be together. 
  •  I enjoyed this when you were willing to do what I wanted for nothing in return. You've become way too demanding; we should just break up, I can't deal with this. 
  • I care about you a lot, yet I can't seem to see us having something beyond a friendship. I tried, but this is as far as I go. I hope you find someone willing to go all the way with you because you deserve it.    
  • To be honest, I'm not interested in you. I'm not sure why I said yes, maybe I just wanted dinner. It was an excellent meal, but whatever this was, it’s over. 
  • I can't keep this up; I should have told you earlier, and for that, I'm sorry. This isn't working out at all; you're too complicated. 
  • I like someone else, and I can't date two people at once. It's not my style.
  •  We both know this isn't working out, but I would be the bad guy and say it: it's over! 
  •  We shouldn't see each other anymore. Nothing good is coming out of this relationship for me. 
  •  I'm not feeling your energy, we should break up. 
  •  I think we've done the best we can to save us; this relationship has to end now. 
  •  I'm not capable of caring for someone other than myself right now; I thought I could do it, but it's taking up more than I can give. It's best we end this so I can be free. 
  •  You're a fantastic person; I'm sure someone out there can match your energy. I don't think I can, that's why I'm breaking up with you. Sorry. 
  •  I enjoy hanging out with you; it's fun and a little wild, but that's all there is to it. Not enough for a strong relationship in my book, we can stay friends if you want. 
  •  I don't think we are compatible. Yes, the last few days were fun, but that's as far as I go with you. You probably feel the same way about me.

8. Don't drag it

Don't drag it

Let the breakup text message be as brief as possible. Don't break up with him and start another conversation like, “so how was your day?” Let him have space after you've sent the text message. 

9. Don't promise

Be careful not to make a promise you can not keep, don’t send a text message saying you guys can be friends when you have no intention to do that. No matter how guilty or emotional it becomes, don't write, “I will always be here” if you know you won't. 

10. The beautiful memories

Don't forget to mention the good times as well, it’s bad enough you're breaking up this way, and not face to face. Things may be ending now, but you should still cherish one or two moments and let your partner know you do. You can choose to meet up with him later face to face or send him a message thanking him for his contributions to your life. 

Also, don’t be too suggestive in the text, and you can do this preferably before sending the breakup message. This way, your partner knows you appreciate him before he’s too angry to read it.

FAQs 

Is it rude to break up over text? 

Well, the answer is yes and no. It depends on how you write the break up text, plus, did your partner see it coming, where both of you close and intimate the day before? Then he deserves some respect. Sometimes, it’s really what’s best for you both (if that’s the only way you can avoid the drama). 

Why do people break up via text? 

A lot of people break up via text because they’re afraid to face their partner. Sometimes, it’s because they can’t deal with the other person's feelings or emotions after the breakup. Mostly, long-distance relationships end by text because they can’t meet up face to face. There are also other reasons for sending a breakup text, but the biggest one is fear. 

How do you break up with someone nicely over text? 

Ease him into it, don't randomly drop a long message about how the relationship can't work anymore. Start the conversation nicely and wait for the perfect time to tell your partner how you feel. Let him know why it's not working and don't use the cliche "It's not you, it's me" line. Avoid focusing so much on the things he's didn't do right. If you don’t feel comfortable texting, then give him a phone call.

Is it okay to break up over the phone? 

For a long-distance relationship, it's okay to break up over the phone, that's the closest you get to each other anyway. If the relationship is only a couple of days old, you could get away with just leaving them a text that you feel different, no one would blame you. Breaking up over the phone isn't half as bad as doing it via text, over the phone is a bit more respectful. 

What is the 3-month rule? 

The 3-month-rule states that; partners should wait three months post break up, to give each other space for closure, a breather, a possible chance of forgiveness, or getting back together before completely moving on. It's an unwritten rule that everyone just goes by. However, people heal at different times, so it's not exactly practical. 

The Bottom Line

If you are going to breakup with your man via text, you need this article to do it right. Go over all the ways I wrote out and pick the one that best suits you. I would love to know what you think, so, please write your thoughts in the comment section and share this article with your girls! 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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