Bird boxing is a term coined by a Sandra Bullock movie. It basically means not paying attention to the ugly features of the person you are dating.
Previous generations would call this “wearing rose-colored glasses,” but current dating terms call it bird boxing. When you bird box someone you are dating, you are blind to everything else in the world, especially their faults.
Do you think that the dating trend of bird boxing is going on in your world? Have you already jumped on the bird box bandwagon and started engaging in this crazy dating trend?
All dating trends aside, you aren’t the only one participating in the current bird box trend going on in the world. In fact, the concept was happening long before that movie, and terminology came out.
Everyone participates in this behavior, especially at the beginning of a relationship or when you first fall in love with someone. It’s hard to look past those wonderful features to see the scales that a person actually has.
We will examine how this gets started in a relationship and the signs you should watch out for to make sure you aren’t engaging in this behavior with someone you love.
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Usually, when you first fall for someone, you feel like they can do no wrong and have no flaws. Some people believe you can date a person for a whole year, wearing rose-colored glasses, before you see what they are really all about.
The Huffington Post suggests traveling with a partner before getting serious and settling down; a vacation can quickly show you a person’s true colors. The article says that a trip together can definitely show you what the person’s strengths and weaknesses are.
However, no amount of time or travel will show you what a person is really like if you aren’t open to discovering the downsides of being with the individual you’re dating.
If you stay open to the flaws of the person you’re with, you may find out some important information. What if the guy you’ve been dating is really a player and isn’t serious about you at all?
You need to pay attention to these signs to ensure you are not overlooking qualities that you should know about in your partner. However, don’t be too hard on yourself, because we all have blurry vision or blindfolds on when we fall in love with someone for the first time!
Everybody has some “cons;” we aren’t made up of ONLY benefits. There’s always “something” that irks someone. No one is perfect regardless of what you may believe right now. It’s crucial that you accept him for who he really is - flaws and all.
Have you neglected projects, interests, hobbies, friends, or family members? This is somewhat normal when you first fall for a guy, but you need to nurture the other parts of your life, so the two of you can have something healthy and long-lasting.
How well do you really know him? Do you know all about the skeletons in his closet, the baggage he carries, and the burdens that he carries are on his shoulders? Get to know him, the real him, and learn about what really makes him tick.
Do you constantly defend him when other people give you dating advice, warning you about red flags they see in him? That’s never a good sign. He may be your prince charming right now, but don’t ignore red flags that would normally be deal-breakers.
Do you find it relaxing to just talk for hours about him? Has this become your new hobby, your new obsession, or your new addiction? Try to nurture all parts of your life rather than just the romance department.
If you are bending over backward to make him happy while at the same time neglecting your needs, this just isn’t healthy. It’s normal to have conflict; it’s even healthy to do so. It means you are both being honest about your thoughts and feelings. Don’t avoid talking about anything sensitive or controversial just because it MIGHT stir the pot up.
This goes back to the false perception of reality. Don’t you want a realistic, healthy relationship? You must avoid thinking about anything in terms of being “perfect.” Instead, think about everything as having pros and cons, just like life does. You can’t force someone to hide their flaws forever; eventually, they will rear their ugly heads.
It’s fun to live in a fantasyland for a while, but at some point, you need to face reality and see what’s in front of your face.
After all, if you want a REAL relationship with him, you need to get to know who he really is. This will allow you to see the truth, and you can decide if he is the type of guy you can see a future with or not. You don’t want to waste time on the wrong guy, right?
Another benefit of seeing his flaws is that you can truly be honest and open when other people try to give you advice about the things they see - things you may not be able to see. Instead of making excuses for his actions or behavior, you can honestly assess what the truth is and what is just people talking bad about him because they enjoy gossip.
Finally, you have a much greater chance of success if you are true to this guy about what you are looking for in a mate and what you expect out of a relationship.
To find the right guy, you need to not waste time with the wrong one. In other words, all of the time you spend with him, living in a fantasyland, could be time devoted to the true person you are meant to be with.
It’s important to see people for who they really are when engaging in relationships. It’s easy to look past their faults and only see the good, though.
What kind of advice would you offer someone who participates in bird boxing? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.