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Why Does My Boyfriend Last So Long (11 Ways to Help Him Come Quicker)

Are you asking, “Why does my guy last so long during sex?” Or even better, “How can we fix this condition and make things better?” 

If yes, then you’re in the right place. Most people acknowledge premature ejaculation as a severe condition, but often don’t realize its opposite problem. According to studies, one to four percent of men experience impaired ejaculation.

If your boyfriend is experiencing such a problem, be rest assured that it can be fixed with the right steps. Thankfully, this article highlights what you can do to make your relationship all the more conducive. Below are eleven helpful tips you can apply. But first, let’s take a look at the causes of this condition in men.

What Causes Men to Last Long

Delayed ejaculation is the inability of a man to reach climax. It can stem from either physical or psychological problems and can affect a man’s sex life. Some physical causes of delayed ejaculation include side effects from some medication, alcohol intake, or certain conditions that can affect a person’s nervous system. 

Some psychological causes include frequent masturbation sessions resulting in the inability to enjoy normal sex, insecurities leading to sexual difficulties, history of abuse, or other negative sexual beliefs or experiences. 

Talking to a doctor can help you identify the underlying cause of your problem, especially if it has been recurring for more than six months. However, you can use the tips below to try to resolve the problem.

11 Ways to Help Him Come Quicker

1. Avoid alcohol

If your partner has difficulties ejaculating quickly, avoiding alcohol before sex is crucial. This step is essential because alcohol can prolong a person’s ability to reach climax. Although it can make you more playful, it can prevent your partner from getting an erection, which ruins the sexual experience. Therefore, if you want to get serious with your partner, skipping the drinks is vital.

Studies have shown that staying sober helps you know what you want during sexual activities and also helps you control the bedroom’s dynamics. More so, you’ll undoubtedly experience an orgasm faster than expected. 

Being clearheaded makes you more conscious of what’s happening, which can prevent an uncomfortable experience like your partner feeling sore after a long sexual exercise. Getting drunk is the wrong way to fix your bedroom difficulties with your partner, even though it might be nice to forget about your problems for a night.

2. Be passionate

If your boyfriend lasts too long, he might be having difficulties making his fantasies a reality. This process can delay him from reaching climax faster than he expects. Therefore, a great way to prevent another marathon sex session from happening is by being more passionate during sexual activities.

The more you can make your boyfriend aware of what’s happening, the faster he might ejaculate. This process includes being more expressive about what you’re feeling and communicating them to your partner. You can decide to grab him harder, engage in dirty talk, or express how you’re feeling with loud moans or screams during sex.

These actions can help your partner know that he’s doing the right things, and can get him out of his head. Even so, it can help him release faster because his fantasy is now a reality.

3. Use your body parts

Relying on only your core sexual organs for pleasure can leave you feeling sore. Therefore, it’s important to engage other body parts if you want your partner to have an orgasm faster than usual. You should let the penis and vagina do all the work. Instead, use your hands and mouth to build the moment up to climax.

You can pull your boyfriend’s genitals or play with his balls as a means of gentle stimulation. You can also incorporate oral activities to take the pressure off his primary sex organ. Arousing your partner with your body parts can make your sex life much better. 

It makes work easier for your partner and can help him climax faster. It can also help to do activities that will arouse you quickly to shorten the duration of sex. 

4. Incorporate foreplay

A common reason for men lasting long in bed is having frequent masturbation sessions. This process can make it hard for them to relate their techniques for getting pleasure to normal sexual intercourse. Therefore, diving right into sex can make it hard for them to reach an orgasm. It would help to incorporate prior arousal to help your partner finish faster.

Not everyone has the same preferences when it comes to stimulation, so it’s crucial to find out what your boyfriend likes. This process can improve the speed of your sex. More so, focusing on stimulation techniques can help both of you know where you’re getting things wrong. 

The more you can arouse your partner, the faster they will reach climax, which is the end goal. Talk to your partner about incorporating arousal techniques before the main action. 

5. Be ready to experiment

be ready to experiment

Learning to switch things up is crucial if you’re uncomfortable with the fact that your boyfriend lasts too long in bed. Experimenting can help your boyfriend to reach an orgasm faster than expected because of how unpredictable things can be. The newness of actions can help his mind adapt to certain things, and can also help fix his difficulties.

You should be willing to try different positions and techniques until you find a solution to your problems. Sticking to routines is the best way to encounter previous challenges. On the contrary, the excitement of trying new activities can build your partner’s morale and help him overcome his difficulties. 

Ensure there’s a sense of newness in every bedroom activity because this can encourage both of you until you eventually reach climax.

6. Take control

A great way to experiment is by taking control of bedroom activities. This process can reduce the pressure on your boyfriend and help him release faster. More so, it can help both of you find out the techniques that work, which will lead to a faster orgasm. Your partner might be experiencing performance anxiety, which can prevent him from functioning at his best. 

Taking the lead can help him cope with his difficulties and also boost his confidence. More so, it will make him feel supported. Instead of him figuring out things alone, your actions would showcase that both of you are working together to find a solution. This process can also be a fantasy that helps him enjoy sex, even more, leading to a faster ejaculation.

7. Guide him

Another way girls can help their partners is by subtly steering the wheel during sexual activities. If you can guide your boyfriend through to the finish line, it can make things a lot easier. Telling him all the things you like in a non-demanding way can build his confidence. More so, encouraging and praising his efforts can arouse him more than you know.

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If your partner struggles with reaching climax fast from normal sex but can maneuver through masturbation, guiding him can ease up the process. He might not know exactly what to do to stimulate you, which can affect his confidence. 

On the contrary, spelling things out can help him more than you imagined if you prefer a little squeeze here and there, telling him can make him feel more effective and functional. More so, it will arouse him and speed up the journey to climax. 

8. Surprise him

Lasting longer in bed can be a result of reduced excitement. If sexual activities become too predictable, a partner can struggle to encounter an orgasm. Therefore, surprising your partner with hot new techniques or even a sexy outfit can go a long way. If you constantly look for new ways to stir up excitement in the bedroom, things are bound to change in the long run.

Some interesting ways to surprise your partner include using costumes, incorporating role-play, giving a blow job first thing in the morning, being the first to initiate sex, using ice cubes, and wearing little to nothing throughout the day. The more you excite your partner, the faster he might climax. More so, it will increase the anticipation for bedroom activities.

9. Enjoy the moment

Lasting long during sex can become a severe problem in any relationship. Apart from feeling sore, your partner might develop a lack of confidence about the situation. However, focusing too much on the problem might only make the situation worse. You can choose to focus on something better instead, which is having more time to enjoy the moment.

Even though the process is taking a really long time, focusing more on the great aspects can make things less unbearable. If you pay more attention to the time it takes to climax, you might miss the essence of the activity. On the contrary, being more present is a great way to reduce stress, and bask in the moment. 

More so, your partner will acknowledge your interest, which will build his confidence and help him release quickly.

10. Connect mentally

connect mentally

It’s crucial to understand that sex isn’t just a physical exercise, but also a mental one. If there’s no psychological connection with your partner, you might encounter the opposite problem of not connecting at all. Therefore, creating a safe space between you and your partner is a fine way to improve your sexual experience. You need to talk to your partner as much as you make love.

It would be wrong to just assume certain things in your romantic relationship. This process might even prevent an orgasm from happening as quickly as it needs to. Instead, both of you should discuss the ideal atmosphere that feels secure enough for sexual experiences. 

The inability to reach climax can stem from several insecurities, but deep and honest communication can resolve these difficulties.

11. Be playful

Sometimes, having beautiful memories to look back on might matter more than having a perfect sexual encounter. Therefore, choosing to have fun rather than getting everything right should be a priority. It can also help both of you feel less stressed about your difficulties as a couple. If you genuinely have a good time, the future will look more promising. 

Ensure you and your boyfriend loosen up before and during bedroom activities. Making love shouldn’t feel like a chore, because that’s the last thing guys want it to be. Therefore, make the process more exciting by focusing more on having a good time than reaching climax. Tease one another, give each other massages, or simply do anything that can make the both of you entirely comfortable.

However, be careful not to push each other’s boundaries in a bid to make the scenario playful. It’s more crucial to create a mutual atmosphere where both parties are at ease and happy.


What does it mean if a man lasts long?

If a man lasts too long before releasing, it means he has difficulty reaching climax. This scenario can be a severe problem stemming from either physical or psychological causes. The inability to ejaculate can leave the other with sores, dissatisfaction, or even more anxiousness about sexual activities.

How long is the average guy supposed to last?

The duration of sexual activities can vary depending on the parties involved, and several other factors. However, if a man goes more than thirty minutes without ejaculating, even after having a regular erection, it’s a sign that he might have a problem.

How long should a man last in bed?

According to studies, the average time partner spends in penetrative sexual activities range from seven to thirteen minutes. However, several factors can shorten or delay the process. Some underlying conditions like erectile dysfunction can also play a crucial role. 

In Conclusion

Did you enjoy this article? Know that the best way to deal with a delayed climax in bed is to enjoy the process nonetheless. Focusing too much on fixing the condition can deprive you of truly connecting with your partner. Kindly leave a comment below or share this article with friends if you enjoyed it.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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