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Spending Too Much Time Together (11 Signs)

by Sonya Schwartz

There's almost nothing like enjoying quality time with the man you love. Research shows that periods of togetherness with one's significant other, such as communicating, going on dates, cuddling, etc. are some of the building blocks of successful relationships. However, is it possible spending too much time together can also have a negative impact on a relationship

When does it start to appear you are overdoing things by merely wanting to be with someone? Since you are a couple, how can something so amazing as spending lots of time with your significant other lead to any other thing than loving each other more? Believe it or not, going overboard with spending time together can have its downsides. 

So, before you ruin a perfect relationship, here are the signs that'll let you know when you are spending too much time with your partner. This article will help you know when it's time to make some adjustments so that you can keep the spark in the relationship alive.

11 Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time With Your Partner

1. You don't bother going out

Outings like date night, a short trip to the park, hanging out with friends are all important activities that couples engage in to keep the relationship healthy. But when you've gotten to that point where you don't even want to go out anymore since you'll be with your partner anyway, then you've been spending too much time indoors. 

While you may think you like it that way and your man isn't complaining, it's only a matter of time before things start to get weird. Variety, they say, is the spice of life. So if you can't remember the last time you both dressed in nice outfits and went out as a couple, you may need to spend some time apart.

2. Sex is becoming less spontaneous

Let's face it; one of the most important aspects of relationships is sex. Intimacy between the sheet helps couples cherish and love each other. Is that not the reason it's called love-making? Research shows that it's one of the major factors that contribute to breakups. 

One of the first things that spell disaster in relationships is when the couple no longer have fun behind closed doors. If your relationship has morphed into a case where getting kinky in bed has become a schedule rather than an exciting, spontaneous activity, then you've become too attached that the attraction is probably reducing. 

Your partner needs some space to relate with others, either a friend or family member so he can genuinely miss you. Extreme codependency could a recipe for disaster in some relationships, it’s better to give time for friendships and other interests as a couple.  

3. You've started taking each other for granted

When couples take one another for granted, they don't know at first. That's because it's not something you start consciously. While it's possible seeing other people or falling out of love can make someone take their partner for granted, being a little too cordial can also make that person not to notice or appreciate the affectionate actions and gestures of love he shows. 

For example, saying you look nice or telling you how nice you smell. Try to think back; if you used to appreciate such statements at the beginning of your relationship, then it's clear you've seen or heard those words all too well; it's now a norm. 

4. You can't remember the last time you had an ‘alone time’

Now, alone time isn't just the moments you spend with yourself in the bathtub, at work, or in lectures. These are periods of self-reflection, a time you do the things you love as a person, e.g., hobbies, like painting. 

Don't get me wrong, it's not a period of shutting your partner out, but spending quality time with yourself will improve you as a person, making you function better in your relationship. 

5. Your relationship is robbing you of your dreams

Your relationship is robbing you of your dreams

Again, don't get me wrong; I know people make sacrifices all the time to ensure their relationship works out. A friend quit her job and relocated with her boyfriend to another country because they wanted to get married. However, she never lost sight of her goals when they got to their destination. 

Try to remember the dreams or aspirations you had before you started your current relationship. Have they suddenly fizzle out? 

As I said, spending a lot of time at home and just focusing on your partner fosters negative codependency. Take care not to get to this stage, regardless of how much you love this guy, anything that keeps you from achieving your dreams overtime is unhealthy. 

6. You are both becoming clingy

Being clingy is not healthy. Initially, it might look cute, especially when your partner likes all the attention, but when you both are becoming overly dependent on each other, that a very different situation. You are almost always together at home, parties, or functions and still comment on each others’ social media pages incessantly. 

That's clear you do not have any personal space offline or online. It's time to put these issues in perspective so that no one becomes a burden. Being independent is a good thing. Not only will you be able to function better in your relationship with self-esteem, but if everything goes south, trying to live your life won't look so difficult or frustrating.

7. You fight often

Even though you are not seeing anyone secretly that's competing for your heart, and you still love your boyfriend totally, always being in each others’ company could lead to more frequent arguments.  An argument every now and then is normal, but a line is crossed when it becomes a common solution in the relationship. 

Look at this way, when you don't have the time to see your partner as much as you want, perhaps due to work or school schedule, chances are, you'll cherish almost every moment you get. You may even overlook his annoying behaviors easily because enjoying each other matters more. 

You won’t answer his questions rudely or try to tick him off, rather, you’ll take special care to make the moment count. So if your partner has simply become someone you can yell at, punch, or ignore every day, It might be time to move back into your apartment or stop seeing each other so often.

8. Little details annoy you

Sometimes, resentment can manifest in relationships, and it's not because you don't love one another. Once you see yourself noticing every little detail, and they seem to get to you quite often, maybe it's time to take some time apart. 

I'm not saying you should break up for some time. What I'm suggesting is a change of the usual modus operandi of your relationship. For example, if you moved in together but still have your apartment, you might want to move back into your place for a while.

9. Boredom is becoming the order of the day

Boredom is becoming the order of the day

Once in a while, boredom can creep in between couples, so it isn't a bad sign. However, when it's becoming way too much, maybe it's time you need to adopt a different dating approach. It might be a sign you've not been giving each other space

There are tons of things couples can engage in to spice up their relationship even if you choose not to go out. If you live together and plan to leave it that way, try to consciously plan events and games you can both engage in. It's not a bad idea if you want to sit and brainstorm fun things or places to visit. Write them down or do a reminder on the phone. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

10. You no longer investing in your family

It only natural that some of the time you spend with your loved ones will go to your man, especially when you've just met. However, if you keep taking rain checks whenever your family wants to see you because you feel you don't need anyone but your partner, you need some self-evaluation. 

Your romantic life isn't the only relationship that needs your attention. You need to nurture the relationship with your family as well. Don't forget that families are almost the only ones left to help pick up the pieces when that ‘someone’ breaks your heart. 

11. Your friends complain

If your besties don't know where you are, both offline and online, it's likely you and your man are spending a lot of time together. That's not all; if you feel complacent like you don't need your friends anymore, then it's clear you’re overdoing. 

It’s normal to disappear for those first few weeks when someone new comes into your life, but as time goes on, don’t forget family and friends. They are the ones that care enough to help pick up the pieces if the relationship goes south.

FAQs

What happens when you spend too much time with your partner?

Spending time together is essential for relationships to grow. However, when you start to overdo things, it could lead to being overly dependent on each other. It won't be pleasant when one person can't function without the other. 

How do you know if you spend too much time together?

If you notice the excitement that usually comes with being with each other is no longer there, then it's a sign you need to re-evaluate things. Also, when you are missing in action among your besties and feel like you are no longer investing in the friendship, it's clear you are spending too much with your man, which might cause you to make an unnecessary trade-off between your romantic life and your regular friendships. 

How much time should couples spend together?

There is no rule of thumb here. However, if you are still in the dating phase, make sure to alternate your engagement. This way, you create the chance for you to miss each other.

How much alone time is too much in a relationship?

Every relationship is unique, so there's no textbook rule to follow. Therefore, communication is vital here to ensure you are not neglecting each other in taking time to yourself. Just make yourself available when you feel your partner isn't happy about not seeing you.

Do couples need time apart?

Yes, spending some time apart could do your relationship some good. It's not a time to see other people but a time for self-reflection and personal development. When you are great as individuals, chances are, you'll both be great as a couple.

In Conclusion

Altogether, spending quality time with your partner should be an amazing thing. You only need to balance the scales when necessary. Also, if your family or friends are starting to complain you are AWOL, then it's time to adjust to accommodate other people in your life. 

Remember, they are the ones that help in keeping the pieces together when things don't go according to plan. Feel free to drop a comment about the article and share it with friends that might need to read it.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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