The truth is, no one is entirely immune to the charm of romance con artists. If he's your type or you are desperate for love, chances are, you'll fall "head over heels" before you realize you are just another "job." So, unless a con artist previously did a number on you, you probably won't see through their smokescreen.
Unless of course, you equip yourself with the signs that'll help you identify romance con artists. With the said. Here are 13 signs to look out for when you want to identify a relationship with a con artist. In the end, you'll be able to spot a con man and prevent him from breaking your heart and wallet.
First, let's look at signs from your angle. One of the first things you need to understand when you are in a relationship with a con artist is that whatever arrangement you've got going on is a predator-prey situation.
You are technically prey to a con artist because he has to use his skills on someone who will fall for it. Therefore, you are an exploitable target for him. You must be someone with low-self esteem, that'll consider herself lucky to be noticed by a cute guy like him, and will do everything he says to have him around her.
Therefore, when you notice a charming guy is acting all desperate to win the "timid and shy you" very quickly, it might be time to get your defense up so that you can think clearly with your brain instead of your heart and hormones.
With relationship con artists, getting your undivided devotion is part of his goal. That's because it's one of the first steps to ripping you off. Please don't get fooled when you notice all the chivalry, sleek lines, and charm; they are all part of the entire con game to get you hooked right from the beginning.
If you are the type that gets carried away easily by Hollywood romcoms, you may find yourself falling hopelessly for a con artist's scripted behavior. Yes, it's possible that a guy with genuine feelings or interests also wants to go out of his way to impress you. However, the difference between a con artist and a guy with real feelings is the all too perfect approach.
It's often normal to notice some natural awkwardness with the latter, and that's because he's not acting out a script with you. Research shows that awkwardness in relationships is a sign of sincerity. So, when you notice an all too smooth personality, reeking of desperation to win you, babe, that's classic con artist red flags.
The truth is, more than half the time we tend to operate under the truth bias. Meaning, unless we have proven contrary information, we tend to believe someone is honest. Also, it's one of our social skills to be polite. So, instead of being paranoid and rudely challenging what people tell us every time, we are more inclined to flow with them, which makes us vulnerable.
However, trusting your gut feeling can save some hassles. Research shows that our gut feeling is almost always right when we suspect someone's feelings towards us aren't genuine. So, unless you are a naturally insecure person, don't discard these feelings of doubt when they come up.
It's probably a sign your common sense is objectively seeing through the con artist's moves.
The truth is always the truth. No matter the number of times you want to tell it, it's going to come out the same. On the other hand, lies could come out differently when people need to go over the same information, especially when they didn't have the chance to prepare. This attribute of lies are signs for you because relationship con artists are usually pathological liars.
Their area of specialty is lying to control/influence people or situations. If you pay attention, you'll undoubtedly spot a huge difference in the information they told you at different times. Once you notice these signs all too frequently, you are probably dealing with con.
Because con artists are after your money, they want to make you believe they've got it, or at least, they roll with those who have it. Once you hear a man talking about how he went to the expensive places and how he's making cool cash you can't see, he is likely trying to exploit you.
If you are a sucker for flashy things, he may even rent a luxury car or borrow one from his con artist friends to deceive you. Altogether, a con artist likes to blow his trumpet, so it's a sign to look out for.
One of the strategies of con men is to drop information they know you can't verify. You may hear him say things like he's friends with oil business tycoons from Iran or Saudi Arabia. He knows most people hardly ever have details about Arabs, so he uses this information to overstate his financial position.
He may disappear and reappear, claiming he was on a business trip with his Arabian businessmen. Of course, there'll be a follow-up story about how business isn't going well. It's a strategy to later get money from you.
Naturally, a con artist will want to know if his target has money for him to stick around for, so bragging about money and claiming he’s friends with top shots like CEOs is a strategy to get you talking about your financial capabilities.
If you are open to him, he’ll know how much you are worth and how he can take it from you. So, once you find that your man is overly interested in your finances, you might want to slow down before you start having a joint account.
After meeting a con artist, chances are he'll want to "test the waters" of your generosity by asking you to lend him some little funds. He may tell you child support is cutting deep into his finance, hence the need for the loan. Make no mistake; men have an ego the size of Mount Everest.
It's not in their nature to ask a woman they just started dating for money. It's a slap on their ego unless of course, he's a shameless gold-digging con artist.
So this is one of the red flags you must look out for. You may even notice a quick return of the funds you lent him. That's a strategy to make you feel, he's back on his feet, and he's honest enough to return your money. Watch out; he's likely coming to ask for a bigger loan. This time, you probably won’t see him again.
If you allow yourself to get carried away by the smooth talk of a relationship con man, chances are, many months would have gone by before you realize you don't know any in-depth details about him.
At that point, he may find it easy deceiving you because you may have fallen for him. If you know a few things, you'll find that the information is difficult to verify because they'll likely be abroad. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with dating a man with ties and a background from overseas.
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You only need to ensure they are verifiable. If you can't verify anything about him, walk away quickly.
No matter how secretive relationships con artists can be, they can't help but leave behind a trail of victims. So one of the common behavior you'll notice is keeping you away from others that can mess up his parade. This way, he'll limit the chances of meeting people that can identify and connect him to his past victims.
Also, your friends and family aren't blind by lust, so chances are, they can see through his fake lifestyle, and warn you. If you hear him frequently say he prefers to stay indoors, or he limits his outings to specific places, that's a sign he's avoiding being seen. Remember a con artist is technically acting a script, so stepping out of a zone he can't control isn't a smart move for him.
Yes, you may meet your soulmate, and everything feels right. But when you notice all of the above from a man, yet he's desperately trying to marry you all too quickly, chances are he's up to something. He may have realized marrying you is the only way to have access to the juicy part of your fortune.
So, you want to be careful as some con artists are a greater threat. While some will only fleece you and leave you hanging, others go in for the kill. The latter happens when big life insurance money or some inheritance is at stake. Be smart; don't be one of his victims.
Love or lust may not allow you to notice this one on time, especially when you are naturally a generous person. But if you make a quick audit of your relationship and see signals pointing to what looks like an ATM-customer arrangement, where you are, of course, the ATM, dishing out cash and other cash-related items to your partner, it might be time to cut such a person off.
If your con artist boyfriend or husband ultimately gets you on his web, your finances are probably not the only thing he'll control. He may completely rob you of control of other areas of your life. Once you find yourself taking permission from him before going somewhere or spending your own money, that's a huge red flag. It's time to get out of such a relationship.
Whether it's a relationship or business con artist, they usually have similar traits. They are pathological liars with a huge ego and a practiced-skill in making people do what they want, usually to unsuspectingly fleece them of their hard-earned money.
Unlike general business con artists who exploit peoples' naivety or greed for quick cash, romance con artists manipulate people's emotions. It makes them slightly difficult to spot, mostly when you are already falling in love. Basically to beat a con-artist at his game, pretend like his charm is working. Money is always their weakness, so baiting him to get him to take money from you illegally will be a cool way to get him to pay for his crime.
Manipulation is the most potent strategy of a con artist. The only way to deal with him is to pretend his charm is working on you. Get him to believe you are in love by promising to do all he wants. String him along and bait him with funds that he may likely want to take for himself before taking a hike. Then arrest him.
Whether offline or online, romance scammers are always in a hurry to get money from you. They always want to take things to the next level quickly to have access to your heart and of course, your money. An online romance scammer often uploads only the same set of pictures since they use someone else's online image. Ask for a video or a recent photo of them holding a written paper with your name and current date. He'll likely pretend to be upset, but you'll never hear from him.
A relationship con man will tell you a lot of lies to make you trust him. The one with experience may even spend some money buying you gifts to win your trust. However, his scripted moves, unverifiable stories/ background, and the rush to get close to you and your money are the signs that will give him away.
While there may be a slight overlap between a con artist’s behavior and a man who's genuinely crazy about you, you can always tell the difference as long as you are patient and not too desperate for love. Manipulation is a con artist's strongest weapon, but once you can remain objective with the points in this article, chances her you'll see through his smokescreen.
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