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11 Helpful Rules of Sexting to Keep You Safe

Sexting can be insanely hot. 

Whether you’re sexting a partner, someone you’re just physically attracted to or even a complete stranger online, you can let your imagination run wild and get incredibly turned on, it’s almost like your own virtual porn. 

Sexting is the act of sending dirty messages, raunchy pictures or in some cases explicit videos.

So naturally, there are a few things to consider to make sure that you are safe, and that ultimately you don’t regret it.

Why Do You Need to Follow Some Sexting Rules?

It can be easy to get caught up in the moment when you’re dealing with a pulsating vagina, but sometimes that causes us to lack caution. Sexting should be taken as seriously as having sex with another person. 

As hot as it can be, it can make a person extremely vulnerable and open to humiliation, that’s why it’s crucial to choose the right person

There are certainly extra precautions that should be taken if you’re sexting with a stranger online. There are certain forums, like Omegle, where you can meet strangers online and get intimate. Some people opt for this as it’s secretive, easy, and it’s not like somebody you know is ever going to find out. 

But, you never know who is behind the screen on the internet. If you do decide to sext online with a complete stranger, make sure that you keep your identity completely hidden for your safety.

Of course, the safer option is to find a sexting partner, if you’re not already dating; like a friend with benefits, without all the benefits. 

11 Rules of Sexting to Make Sure You Don't Regret It

1. Mutual consent 

Consent is an absolute must. 

The law office of Justin Rosas, highlights “there are some situations in which sexting could lead to criminal charges.” These situations should be taken very seriously, and it’s important that you establish consent to ensure safety and suitability.

The number one rule when sexting is to never assume that somebody wants you to. You have to establish a vibe first, make sure it’s reciprocated, and then ask if they want to sext. 

A casual way to ask, after back and forth flirty messages, would be something along the lines of “What do you think about dirty talk?”

If you want to be a little more subtle, you can always slowly build into it, but again it’s always important toread the room and to be absolutely certain that you have consent first.

2. Establish an understanding 

establish an understanding

You don’t want to get into a routine where you randomly sext somebody every now and again but never actually address it outside of those conversations. In the long run, it can make things a little awkward.

If you’re sexting a potential partner, or even somebody that you might want to have sex with, establish that. While sexting, talk about the things you want to do to each other in person; make it known that that is your end goal. 

If that’s not your end goal, have a conversation highlighting that it’s harmless fun but nothing further will happen. 

3. Make sure they’re single 

Sexting can get really messy when you find out they have a partner. 

When texting anybody romantically, it’s always important to check if they’re single or not first. If you’re looking for a bit of fun, you don’t want to have to deal with the consequences later.

4. Master the art of sext messages 

Sexting messages can sometimes end up quite generic.

Using emojis is always a good way to spice things up, especially if you find it difficult to find the right words.

Spend the time to find your rhythm with this person, and soon enough everything will fall into place. 

Think about when we have sex with the same person, it usually gets much better over time.

5. Respect each other’s privacy

If you’re sexting somebody, whether you see a future together or not, it’s important that the relationship stays privatebetween the two of you. 

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You shouldn’t be gossiping with your girlfriends, showing them pictures of his penis, the same way you wouldn’t want him doing it to you. 

Believe me, it won’t feel so fun when everybody knows your business. Keep it private; the secrecy is hot anyway!

6. Don’t be judgemental 

Sexting isn’t for everybody, and what turns you on might be entirely different to what turns him on. 

You should never judge the things he says to you in the heat of the moment. Some fetishes are a bit harder to understand, but you should never judge somebody as it is.

Think of it like this. Have you ever had sex with the same person more than once, and one time they’ve done something that at the time you completely loved, but the next time it didn’t feel as seductive… 

Our moods massively impact what turns us on, and in turn how we respond to being seduced. If you begin sexting somebody and realize that you’re not in the mood, then it’s probably best to end the conversation early.

7. Take things at your own pace 

take things at your own pace

It’s also completely okay if after sexting a couple of times you decide you don’t want to anymore. The second you don’t consent is when it should end. 

Always take things at your own pace and never allow yourself to feel pressured into doing anything. A prime example of this is sending nudes

You might feel completely comfortable with sexting messages, but you’re not quite ready to send private pictures of yourself, and that’s okay. 

If you’re sexting with the right person, they will completely understand your boundaries and limits. And if not, you should perhaps reconsider your sexting partner. 

8. Choose the time wisely 

The thing that makes sexting sexy is secrecy. 

You could be out in public and nobody would have a clue. 

But, with that being said, it’s kind of important to choose the time wisely. You wouldn’t want anyone catching a sneaky peak at your phone, particularly a work colleague or family member. 

The way I see it, when sexting we get turned on, and when we get turned on we want to act on it… right? 

Well, the best time to masturbate is when you’re at home in the comfort of your own bed, so perhaps save the really dirty talk until bedtime, then you can really make the most out of your situation. 

9. Decide what you want to get out of sexting

Are you looking to develop a future with this person, or are you looking for a bit of fun?

Both answers are absolutely okay, but it would be good to get an idea of your intentions before getting into the sex talk. 

This will help a number of things. Mainly, it will change how you flirt with one another, whether it’s romantic or purely sexual

It will also impact whether or not you’ll date, and it will help to clear things up if you decide to sleep together. It’s a good idea to make sure you’re on the same page, otherwise things can often get complicated and messy. 

10. Ask for permission before sending nudes

We’ve established the importance of consent, but it’s crucial to ask for permission before sending private pictures. 

Before you send nudes, you want to make sure that your sexting partner is definitely alone as you certainly wouldn’t want the wrong person to accidentally catch a glimpse of your private pictures meant for his eyes only. 

Nudes are a great way to tease your partner, as they really do leave you wanting more, but this is something that should never be done without asking first. 

As a piece of advice, I would also recommend that you keep your face or any tattoos out of your nudes. As a precaution, it’s best to make sure that you’re completely unidentifiable

11. Make it unique to you

make it unique to you

The key to mastering sext messages is to make it personal to you and your experiences with this person. 

For example, if you recently went out for dinner with friends, you might say something like “I couldn’t take my eyes off you the other night,” or if you really want to get into dirty talk you could say “All I could think about was fucking you right there on that table” – whatever feels right for you, but relate it to your relationship together.

How to Start Sexting Using Emojis

One of the best tips for sexting is using emojis, as it helps you to establish a flirty vibe, without having to verbalize absolutely everything. There are some emojis that are handy to know if you’re a beginner when it comes to sex talk over text:

  • Monkey emoji - With the hands over the eyes, or face, can mean that you’re shying away from what’s been said, or that you can’t believe it. It represents flirty shock. 
  • Angel emoji - Again another flirty emoji. It is usually used when somebody is pretending to be too well behaved to understand something naughty that has been said.
  • Devil emoji - Some people have no need to use the angel emoji, as they’re willing to outright show their naughty side. The devil usually shows if somebody is horny. 
  • Peach emoji - A big juicy butt.
  • Fire emoji - Hot! 
  • Eggplant emoji - Otherwise known at the phallus emoji, the eggplant represents a penis.
  • Drooling emoji - When somebody is so sexy that you’re drooling over them. 
  • Eyes emoji - Intrigue. The eyes emoji would suggest that they want to know more, but don’t quite have to use words to be direct. 
  • Swimming man emoji - A very horny emoji, relating to his involvement in your wetness. 
  • Tongue sticking emoji- The tongue emoji can mean two things. The first, to show that something is cheeky, and the second to show that they want to orally pleasure you.
  • Dripping wet emoji- To describe how wet you are, but paired with other emojis it can represent an orgasm.

There are hundreds of emojis that can all mean different things, but if you learn the basics, you’ll get the hang of the rest of them rather quickly.


Is sexting good for relationships?

Sexting can be really good for relationships, especially if you’re looking to reignite the spark. After a long day at work, sometimes, the last thing we want is to have sex with our partner. But, if you’ve spent the day sexting or sending nudes, then the build-up of anticipation is going to encourage you to have great sex. 

It encourages communication, flirting, and can help to keep things exciting – perfect for maintaining a good relationship. 

Is it okay to sext every day?

If you have a high sex drive and you feel horny enough to want to sext everyday, then it’s absolutely not a bad thing. The only thing that I would suggest is that your messages might become repetitive and lose their meaning. Dirty talk, although it can be made personal to you and your relationship, can sometimes become generic. 

Sexting occasionally will help to keep it exciting, and give you something to look forward to. Too much of a good thing can sometimes ruin it. 

Does sexting create feelings?

Yes and no. You could ask, “does having sex create feelings” and you would find the same answer. It entirely depends on the people involved. 

For some, sexual chemistry and engagement sparks feelings and romance. For others, it’s easy to separate sex from emotions.

If you’ve just started dating somebody and you’re sexting regularly, then yes it’s likely that this will encourage further feelings. But if you’re sexting your fuck buddy, then the answer is probably not. It also depends on the type of sexting as some sext messages can be based around romance. 

Why does sexting turn us on?

Sexting is kind of like foreplay. Think about why porn turns us on, or why kissing turns us on… It gets us excited about what's to come (literally, ha ha). 

It builds anticipation, and it allows our minds to run wild, thinking about our deepest sexual fantasies and pleasure. It allows us to connect sexually with others without having actual sexual experiences. 
Some people may be completely turned off by sexting and much prefer physical intimacy instead. Everybody is different and it all comes down to what turns you on specifically. 


There is nothing more important in sexting than safety, consent, and trust.

Of course, it’s sexy, and yes you can feel insanely turned on, but it’s no good if you’re going to regret it the next day. 

If you’re not sexting a partner, I would suggest finding a specific sexting partner, kind of like a friend with benefits, where you both have a clear understanding of what you want to get out of it. This way, it’s easier to develop trust and to be absolutely crystal clear on consent. 

And who knows, you might end up with a new sex buddy afterwards. 

When sexting, start slow, tease one another, but don’t step out of your comfort zone. The messages will come naturally to you after a bit of practice, you’ll learn what turns you on when sexting, as well as what turns your partner on. 

If you are in a relationship, sexting is a great way to keep the spice alive, but remember to make sure that you’re sending raunchy messages or pictures at a good time, you wouldn’t want your in-laws to accidentally see something they shouldn’t.

If you have any sexting stories, please feel free to comment, and as always, share with a friend in need.

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