What should count as the measure of self-confidence, your body image, or self-image? You’d probably pick the latter because it’s the obvious prudent answer. However, many women are primarily concerned with their physical appeal, so the overall self-image isn’t the first thing that crosses their minds.
Should confidence in your physical outlook trump your confidence in the other qualities that make you an amazing person? Of course not. As such, considering having breast augmentation because your husband wishes it is not a wise judgment.
While it is normal for a woman to draw confidence from how good-looking she is, your body shouldn’t be the yardstick for measuring self-esteem.
Most times, a man would only ask his wife to get boob enlargement because her boobs have sagged from childbearing and breastfeeding. Every woman understands the downsides of these two important stages of motherhood. While not every woman understands how bad it can get, they usually come to terms with the reality.
If you desire to get a boob job, that’s your choice and the decision is on you. Your spouse saying you should get a breast enhancement is a different ball game you don’t have to accept. So, your husband has implied that getting big breasts is what will make him happy, and now you’re having mixed feelings about how to respond.
Before you give in or bow out of your marriage, read on for better ways to handle the situation.
When someone you care about does or says something selfish, lots of things go through your mind. You wonder what you’ve done to deserve such treatment from them. You go through the stages of grief. You try to deny they said or did that, and you go through the motions because you’re numb.
You move on to feeling anger that your partner could ask you to go through surgery just because he wants to see porn-star-worthy big breasts. Next, you would probably be disappointed that he expected you to change the set of boobs he once loved.
You would then feel insecure and second-guess your other feelings because you’ll wonder if he’s right and you’re wrong. All through the other stages of grief, consider what you’ll accept as the truth. Your acceptance stage should serve your interest, not his.
Weigh the pros and cons of making body changes, then move on from there.
After processing your feelings, you must sit your partner down and communicate why his suggestion is a bad one. Make him firstly understand it is your body, and only you get to live with the aftermath of the plastic surgery.
Women go through a lot daily; hormonal changes, a menstrual cycle that never stops until menopause, and other ‘normal' pains. If you go ahead with breast enhancement surgery, you’d have to be in recovery for weeks and endure needless pain for a procedure you don’t want.
If your partner loves you, he’d reconsider and suggest an alternative to a breast lift. Both of you can consider nonsurgical options that will make both of you meet each other halfway. You’d get to be physically healthy while your man gets to see bigger breasts.
Don’t downplay the way you feel and ignore that you’re hurt by his request. Discuss different scenarios that put him in your shoes so he’ll understand how you feel. For example, ask him to get a penile implant because you also want to enjoy better sex life.
Men have egos the size of big balloons, it takes only a pinch to burst them. See how he reacts to you magnifying his shortcomings, then table your counteroffer. By the time you poke a hole in his selfish logic, he will understand why his suggestion hurt you. If he still adores you, he’ll retract his words.
Apart from the physical implications of having surgery, you should consider the psychological impact too. It is understandable to have serious surgery for a life-threatening condition. It is even okay to have a corrective procedure for damaged skin. However, a boob job doesn’t count as extremely paramount.
If you get augmented big boobs to satisfy your partner, you’d probably do other things for him that would compromise your values. Your sanity is just as important as your physical appeal. If you bend once to your man’s will to change who you are, you’ll continue to do so. A man who cares about you won’t want you to secretly loathe yourself. So, highlight these dangers for him.
Some marriages experience problems because of suggestions like this, and some never survive the turmoil. The fact that he implied you have a defect is enough to say it is over. Whether his displeasure is at the size of your breasts, or they aren’t as perky as before, it is rude of him to ask you to have breast augmentation.
His selfish words will instantly send a message to your brain that you’re unworthy of his attention. You might even assume he’s admiring other women already. If you still care enough, explain to him the feeling of distrust his words stir in you. By the time you express your anger, he will understand the dangerous position he’s put your marriage in.
It is not strange to assume you’re giving breast enlargement a thought. The idea has been planted in your mind, so you might as well consider the option. It is even possible that you’ve thought about it before. However, it is not in your partner’s place to tell you to augment your breasts.
Like it or not, your self-image includes your physical appearance even if you pretend to be perfectly fine with your current breast size. If you decide you want to have breast enhancement, let your husband know you’re doing it because you want it. Also, get the procedure done at your convenience, not your partner’s pace.
If you don’t think the augmentation option appeals to you, don’t think about it anymore. To avoid conflict in your marriage because of this issue, consider nonsurgical options such as an effectively padded bra or nonsurgical breast augmentation.
While considering the option of surgery, ask yourself if you want to go under the knife. Do your research to know the benefits and side effects. Consider different surgical methods and which one will work best for you.
Most importantly, ask yourself if you are willing to have the same procedure multiple times for the rest of your life. Remember the psychological implication too. How would you feel if you couldn’t cope with the corrective surgeries, and have to go back to your pre-enhancement breasts?
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What about the costs? What if something happens and your spouse can no longer fund the procedure? Ensure you cover all bases to avoid regret. You’ll be the one to bear the cost eventually.
You’ve laid out your thoughts on his request, and you’ve communicated the reasons enhancement surgery is a bad option. What does he say after all is said and done? How does he react to you refusing his request?
If he listens to your opinion instead of shutting you down, it means he still respects you. If he loves you he’d feel bad for thinking he can tell you what to do with your body. If your marriage is to withstand this challenging period, you’d both have to talk it out and reach a consensus.
The way he reacts to your opposing opinion on the matter will determine the course of your marriage. Some people might say this issue is too trivial to break up a marriage. However, the desire for an enhanced chest isn’t solitary. Other factors such as dissatisfaction and discontent are in play.
If you think the augmentation issue is a deal-breaker or an opener for underlying issues in your marriage, a deeper intervention is necessary. If your man also implies that it’s a deal-breaker and there’s no moving forward without the surgery, you have a bigger problem to address.
No, your weight doesn’t determine whether you can get breast enhancement. You can undergo breast enlargement surgery as long as you’re healthy enough.
Some guys can tell if you enhanced your breast while some won’t notice. Discovery depends on how efficient the boob job is or the guy’s experience with women with enhanced boobs.
When done properly, augmented breasts should look natural while you’re standing or lying down. When lying down, it should stay full and in the middle of your chest rather than flop to the side.
No, breast augmentation doesn’t have any impact on your waist size. However, enhanced boobs can complement your weight loss efforts. If you just lost some weight, your enhanced boobs can make you look a bit curvier.
If your weight loss is concentrated on your lower body part, your top side might look bigger. Weight loss or not, if your lower part was way bigger than your upper part, the enhanced breasts should rhyme with your overall look.
Boundaries exist for a reason, and your partner asking you to augment your breast counts as boundary-crossing. Having crossed this boundary, you will probably see your spouse in a different light.
With the tips shared, you should be able to handle the painful situation. Hopefully, your self-esteem and marriage will also sail through with little damage.
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