You're probably wondering what could go wrong with a partner being too nice, but trust me, it's true when they say too much of something is a problem.
As an adult in a healthy relationship, your relationship's value should be determined by the boundaries you keep. Nice guys are not bad, but that he's too nice could bring you a truckload of anxiety. Before we go on, let's paint a picture of what ”my boyfriend is too nice” means.
As a couple, it's normal to make occasional sacrifices for your husband, boyfriend, or partner. However, continually putting the needs of your partner above your own for a reason like the fear of disappointment or conflict, then you're far too nice. If this is the type of personality your boyfriend has, you're going to run into issues you would've never thought of.
Take it from me; too nice guys are toxic. The act is harmless at first, but as it goes on, there's more pressure on you. The right thing to do would be to talk with him about this, but it could be a personality defect that may take too long to change. I'll say end the union or at least get yourself acquainted with the situation you're either walking into or is already in.
If your boyfriend's reasons for supporting you come from fear, that's unhealthy. Below are nine reasons why too nice is not always right in relationships.
That your boyfriend is too nice would put you under a lot of pressure to meet up with him. Often, it makes the sacrifices you take redundant because you're only making them so you can be on the same pedestal as him, not because you're choosing to make them. Nobody likes to get in a fight with their partner, but like it or not, they are pros of having those couple arguments.
First, they help you grow in communication and with understanding each other. Always taking the bullet for fear of conflict may seem plausible for a while until it causes an imbalance (which is inevitable). You nice guy continually calling the shots or determining whether or not a situation is worth talking about for the sake of peace would push you into resentment. That sort of pressure is unhealthy.
In a room where your partner is doing too much, it will be uncomfortable for you. If you catch a wave of what's going on on time, you may be able to sort it through communication or therapy. However, being too nice in relationships is a bomb waiting to explode in a relationship, and it starts by eating up your trust.
What is the point if there's no trust? The very foundation of being together is based on trust, and if that gets eaten, there's nothing left to fight for.
When your man continues to withhold issues from you or is eager to compromise for your sake, it would lead to resentment, and that may not come from your side alone. Overly nice people expect the same energy in return. Not being able to give them that directly translates to not being loved by you.
You can already tell that this type of attitude translates to being too possessive as well. He will want to involve himself in everything you are doing and perhaps even keep tabs on you. For him, he's caring and loving. However, you feel entirely different about not having your space.
Quality time in a relationship is essential, so is communication. But then, it's possible to be doing too much. Give your partner space to be independent; it allows them to grow.
Nice people become irksome. It's almost as if they do not have a long of their own and become a leach on your skin. Nobody wants a man who's always calling, always available, always wanting to know, and so on. It's stressful on a partner and begs the question, ” don't you have a life?”
This is the worst. It feels just like dating a child. You may not see it but being with an opinionated person is golden. It may pose as problematic, but like it or not, it gives you a lot of perspectives. Imagine needing advice on a subject and get your suggestion thrown back at you; it's exhausting.
Relationships are about giving and taking; it's unhealthy for him always to be the giver. If he always agrees with you, his opinion becomes worthless.
Soon, you may not even bother to ask for it because you can assume correctly what it would be. I would advise you to seek therapy at this point because it is beyond a mere couple chit chat on how to solve a problem, plus he would agree with you, so what sense does it make?
A nice guy that jumps in to swoon you out of your problems without at least giving you time to sort them by yourself is only enabling you, not helping you, and that's going to backfire. Life isn't a bed of roses.
Both partners in a relationship need to learn how to be dependent when they have to be independent when they don't. You may feel it's okay as long as he's solving the problems of someone he loves, but that's very misleading.
You will never develop the skills to take care of yourself in that relationship for as long as you have a nice guy who is always a fixer. You may never grow, and should the relationship come to an end, you walk out the same person instead of better, and you may expect a fixer out of your next partner.
That's not how the world works. You need to fail to learn how to win. It feels terrible, but that's life.
This attitude would get both of you into serious trouble. It would always start with him, but somehow, you would get roped into it as well. You can please everyone, no matter how hard you try, neither can he. That he's putting so much effort to please other people would mean displeasing you eventually, and that's not good at all.
Imagine a nice guy who's trying not to hurt everyone around him, especially family. A guy who tries hard to do things in favor of his friends and his boss as well. Such a person would begin to lose time or misplace their value due to being dragged in different directions.
Overly positive vibes can annoy you out of a relationship. Although the bud can nip this through communication, it's not easy to get rid of a person's spirit. Don't get me wrong; people who are always positive make the world a sustainable place to live in. However, I cannot stand being in a relationship with one. It's not possible to be that cheerful always, in my opinion.
Such types of people are either living in denial or living in contradiction to me; there are no two ways about it. I cannot stand the fake life they reek of; I beg myself to overlook them, especially if they're not my business. If your partner is such a guy, dating him must be tough in your mood swings.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Healthy space is one of the things that help relationships bloom. You cannot be in your partner’s face all the time, and overly nice men don't seem to notice this. It causes discomfort.
Dating a guy who is too nice sucks away the energy of the courtship as fast as flicking off a light switch.
Of course, he's human after all. Women are often the ones who are known to go above and beyond for their men, but men do it as well. They can develop the habit of being too lovely due to trauma from a past relationship, childhood issues, or the need for constant affection.
Some women usually mistake this for being wooed at first, but when the fairy tale phase never ends, there's an issue. Although, in theory, it sounds like the perfect type of relationship to have, it's not practical. A guy is too nice in a relationship when he loses his voice of reasoning to please you.
As soon as a guy becomes too nice, you will know. It's almost as if he loses his ego, and I know we preach to have said ego gone, but in truth, we only want it reduced. When a guy is too nice, he goes out of his way to please you out of fear that you may leave him or that the situation may cause a conflict. It's so easy to walk over this type of guy with little effort.
For a guy to be termed overly sweet, he must have lost himself or confidence in himself. The bad part is that this can affect you too if you hang around him often. Sometimes it means the kind of person he is is entitled to.
It could mean that your boundaries are not stable enough for both of you as a couple but as friends. It's not a bad idea to be friendly with your friends but be careful not to take it to the extreme. This could be another way to address flirtatiousness with a partner.
Maybe your guy is too much of a hugger for you, and you're quite uncomfortable with how he behaves around other women. Lines get crossed from over friendliness, and it's better to avoid it altogether. Speak to your guy about the kind of relationship you want to share with him and filter the drama.
If your boyfriend is too busy, he's probably not ready for a relationship with you. The best thing to do in this partnership is to communicate with your guy about how you feel. You need to let him know that spending time with you is a priority.
You can have a successful relationship where your spouse isn't paying any attention to your needs. If your boyfriend is too busy, maybe he doesn't need the connection. Find yourself something to indulge in as well, or better still, leave him alone.
It hardly makes sense to do everything right but end up being played by the rules (it doesn't turn out in your favor). It's almost implausible how being nice and sweet doesn't always end with love working out for you. Here's the secret, nice guys make it difficult for their partners to bring something into the relationship.
Being too nice with your partner often means you reward bad behavior, therefore cheating yourself. That you sacrifice for a person isn't a guarantee that they would feel a favorable attraction towards you.
I hope that you have enjoyed reading this article. Being nice in a relationship isn't bad, but when it's too much, it becomes problematic. I've shared a few causes why it may never end well for such couples; please look at them closely. I would love to read your thoughts on the subject; write them to me in the comments section below, and please share this article with your friends.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!