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Mean Things To Say To A Guy (101 Awful Phrases That’ll Hurt Him)

by Sonya Schwartz

As women, we can sometimes be mean. However, it's not cool to be mean, whether in your relationship or with platonic friends, and I mean that 100%. But let's face it, we've all been a jerk at one time or another. Sometimes, it's a counter-reaction to the other person's mean behavior or insensitive comment, so we go ahead and be mean right back because we are not taking it.

For example, your man did a huge number on you, like sleep with your best friend, or perhaps something worse. Then yes, it might be okay to be a little mean for a couple of seconds. Most times, we don't even realize we are dropping those damaging phrases. That's because we let our emotions get in the way. 

When it comes to your husband or boyfriend, there are just some things you don't want to say if you still want that relationship to remain alive. With that said, here are many examples of mean things to say to your man or shouldn't say. It'll be great to know them so that you can altogether avoid unintentionally hurting your man and relationship.

Contents

101 Awful Things To Say To A Guy

1. I don't have the time for this.

i don't have time for this

Okay, there's no subtle way to put this one; it's overly blunt and insensitive. You might have said it because it's genuinely not a good time to discuss the issue. But what it sounds like is, "I don't care about whatever you have to say." 

2. You are making a big deal out of nothing.

This statement might seem harmless if you are addressing a constantly nagging boyfriend. But it's also a way of throwing someone's opinion or complaint in the trash like they don't have a say.

3. Shut up.

Unless your man is trying to conjure some ridiculous explanation as to why he had sex with your best friend, shut up is a mean and straightforward way of saying, "your feeling and opinions don't matter." We all deserve some respect from our partners. 

4. Grow up.

Your boyfriend is not your child, so there's no point trying to make him feel like he's a toddler just because you want him to do something your way. When you say that in a conversation, that's a message that he's a far cry from what you expect from a man. 

5. You are useless.

Perhaps, this one came out of your mouth because you expect more from your husband or boyfriend. Trust me, it's a punch at your man's ego, unsupportive, and altogether insensitive. If he's doing his best, this type of comment will pull him down and push him away.

6. You never help around the house.

The truth is you just want more help. So, why don't you just lovingly ask him? If you take a second assessment before dropping that selfish comment, you'll realize you aren't the only one doing everything in your home. It just looks like that because of the angle you see it from. 

7. You are a loser.

Even if you've made the decision to call the relationship quits, this is no phrase you want to throw at a guy you are dating. High and low periods are common to all humans, so there's no point pulling someone down with mean words, especially when they're trying their best.

8. That's not the right way.

It's not uncommon for women to feel we are better than men at most domestic chores. If you have a guy that helps around the house, try not to be a know-it-all by always making his effort or style look wrong just because it's not your way of doing things. 

9. Your ideas never work.

This comment is another punch at the ego. Research shows that men like to be the hero in their relationship. Reminding him of his past failed effort is a slap at his mental capabilities, which will make him feel incapacitated around you. 

10. It's always your fault.

Perhaps you've got a clumsy guy for a boyfriend or husband; still, blaming him all the time for every happening in your relationship is not the best way to go.

11. Man up.

Sometimes a man might need a reality check if he's acting all irresponsible, like lying around playing video games all day. But if he's trying his best, it's meant to add undue pressure by making emasculating statements.

12. Your job seems pointless.

So, you are the breadwinner of the home, but it feels like your partner hasn't quite gotten his rhythm with his sales and commission job. Throwing it at his face all the time can be damaging to both his success and feelings.

13. Your goals are unattainable. 

Support is what everyone needs, not insults. You don't want to pull your friends down, let alone someone you are romantically involved with. 

14. I hate you.

This short sentence can come up once or twice because you are highly upset. If it's frequent, you are sending a wrong message into the heart of the receiver.

15. I managed to date you.

Some couples joke with this line a lot, but for the most part, it's not a nice thing to say. Making your partner feel they are not good enough for you or that you could do better than them. Guys don't like to feel like they are beneath their girl.

16. I’m sorry, but…

This one is how condescending people manage to say they are sorry. Apologizing helps to bring both parties on the same page. There's no point adding a fault to it just to make your man look bad or feel guilty.

17. I don't see the importance of this conversation. 

It's not a good idea to invalidate the feelings of others. Because it's not a big deal to you doesn't mean it's no big deal to your man. 

18. You look like a hippo.

There are tons of ways to tell a guy he might need to hit the gym. Body shaming isn't one of them. You might think you're being honest, but it's mean coming from you that's the closest person to him.

19. I made you.

i made you

While this comment may come in like a joke, it also has a manipulative tune in it. You man has a working mind. You didn't make him like software. Even if your presence somehow contributed to his current great status. It's not a nice thing to say. 

20. Your mom is just crazy.

The relationship between your boyfriend and his mom may not be the best. He may even complain and say some weird things to you. But don't you dare throw insults at his mom, thinking he'll be cool with it.

21. Why are your siblings always begging for money?

This is one territory you might want to tread softly, especially when you don't have a joint account or he earns way more than you do. They are his family. It's meant to make them look like they are disturbing nobodies. 

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22. Your family drives me bonkers.

Again, relationships are complex, and it's possible you man isn't totally psyched about his mom, dad, or entire folks. But that doesn't give you the freedom to bad-mouth his family. He might play it cool with you at first but may open a can of worms about it later.

23. Is it in?

Sex is one major department guys don't like to feel inadequate. There are millions of ways to tell a guy the sex wasn't all that great. Asking if it's in when you know it's already in is a mean punch below the belt.

24. Is that all?

Okay, so you were expecting more, but the whole bedroom parade ended after two minutes. You can always tell him you want more instead of asking if that's all he's got. Girl, that's mean.

25. My ex is bigger, but you are okay.

Oh no! You don't want to go there. Research shows that men feel insecure about their penis size. So, if the sex isn't lousy, there's no point in making a comparison about the size. You can let the comparison stay in your head. 

26. Are you sure these condoms aren't too big for you?

Well, you are just looking out for him, right? Here's the thing, men don't relate nicely with anything that makes them feel inadequate down there. 

27. You clearly can't give a woman an orgasm.

Okay, there were no fireworks in the first few parades. Still, you don't have to "hit him below the belt." He won't get over it in a hurry.

28. It's a good thing I came with my sex toy.

Okay, he could be tired or not very strong. Pulling out an "alternative" without caring to know what's up with him is another "punch" where men don't like it.

29. Can you please finish yourself off?

There could be times you are not feeling the vibe. But telling him to stop and switch to touching himself is like the worst thing ever you can say to a guy. 

30. Please hurry up. 

Oh no. Tell me you didn't say this one in the middle of sex. You not only succeeded in making him feel inadequate, but you may also have permanently killed his pride.

31. You make me miss my ex sometimes.

What are you trying to do, start world war three? This one is mean on levels. Tell your man how you need him to be. It's best to do away with comparisons.

32. This is how my ex does it.

Shots fired, man down. Now, I know some phrases might sound harmless to you, but when you are trying to make your man do something for you in a way, don't make it about your ex.

33. My ex would never do that.

There's a reason or reasons why you are not with your ex anymore. Using almost every opportunity to make your partner feel like he has to compete to please you is terrible.

34. My ex takes us out once a week.

It's not wrong to want some normal dating activities. But it's downright mean to bring your ex you're suggesting it to your man. That's like making him feel he doesn't have the initiative like your ex. 

35. You are like my ex

Whether it's in a good or bad way, your current partner doesn't want to feel like he's walking in the shadow of your past lover. It's neither fair nor healthy for your relationship.

36. My ex can tell how I feel.

Your past lover isn't psychic, and your current boyfriend can't be too, so quit throwing your ex's prowess on your boyfriend's face, it's not pretty.

37. I wish I never left my ex.

Okay, you know what? Just leave your ex out of it. You might be a brutally honest person, but statements like these are too mean to say to your guy. It's best not to talk when you are angry.

38. You are short.

You might think this comment shouldn't be harmless, but men don't like to hear that they are short even when they are short. It's a bit similar to the "punch" below the belt.

39. You need a beard.

Yeah, the beard gang thing is trending, and you want your guy to flow with the trend. But this comment might make him feel like you don't like his look. Even worse, you find other men attractive.

40. You are getting bald, do something.

you are getting bald, do something

Yeah, he knows, and it's genetics, so don't rub it on his face all the time. Trust me; you are the last person he wants to hear it from that he's losing his hair and perhaps becoming less attractive. 

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41. I wish I had a richer boyfriend.

Now, it doesn't sound like you wish your man is rich. It sounds like you are telling him you desire someone else. It's not only mean and disrespectful, it's got a good-digging ring to it.

42. Your friend is hot.

Maybe you should let this one stay in your imagination. While your man might react badly, you may trigger a jealousy vibe.

43. A real man…

These kinds of phrases never end well. It's mean, and it equates to shaming a man by making him feel less than what he naturally is. 

44. I wish I never met you.

Both parties in a relationship may say mean things to each other when they fight. But, telling someone you regret meeting them is a whole new level of being a jerk.

45. My money is mine, but your money is ours.

The entitlement mentality isn't attractive at all. Telling your man he has to take care of you but you don't have to do anything for him in return is just mean and selfish.

46. That's just who I am.

It probably can't get meaner. You might think you are being yourself when you use these lines, but this is something people do when they don't want to reach a compromise. Whether it's with your friends or boyfriend, it's a mean way of telling them they should accept your bad attitude the way you are because you will never change.

47. You are not attractive anymore.

One of the negative things you could say to a person that may affect them even after you call it quits is telling them they are not attractive anymore. A low self-esteemed guy might always look at himself in the mirror and never feel unlovable for anyone.

48. You have a bad dress sense.

This statement shouldn't go out from you to someone you are dating. You can help them get better at looking good instead of rubbing it in their face that they don't dress well.

49. You irritate me

If it has gotten to the stage where your man irritates you, the door is wide open. It's mean to react to his action with such an insensitive and condescending comment.

50. How did I let you touch me?

As a woman, it's hard when you man cheats. Even more, with someone you never in your wildest dreams thought he could have sex with. This could make you feel disgusted to say such words. Altogether, it's mean.

51. You make me sick

When you do this to a guy, you'll no doubt strike a nerve. If you are dating him, I bet it'll take many apologies to get him on the same page with you. If he's just a friend, he'll probably start ghosting you.

52. How could you be so dumb?

Unless your husband left your toddler in a fridge or home alone without supervision, you should let emotions drive you to the extent of saying he's dumb. That's not only a slap on his intellect, it's also a sign of being domineering.

53. I don't care.

When this phrase shows up in conversation, it's usually in order to get back at your boyfriend for upsetting you. Altogether, it's a sensitive comment that you don't want to use frequently. It could make your partner feel less loved.

54. I don't believe you. 

There's almost nothing more hurtful than when the person you love the most doesn’t believe what you say. 

55. I don't trust you.

It's one thing if he's giving you strong reasons to suspect he's cheating, but when you just throw it at him that you don't trust him for no reason, now that's heart-wrenching. 

56. I can never trust you again.

It's possible your man heated in the past. If you forgive and continue, then give him a chance to earn your trust. Frequently throwing this type of statement at him will break his heart and make it difficult for you guys to get better.

57. You made me cheat on you.

Cheating is already a wrong move. Now, making your man feel terrible for your bad action, that's an advanced level of being mean.

58. Your best isn't enough for me.

Whether your boyfriend never met your relationship expectations from the start of your goals changed, it's mean and insensitive not to give some encouragement, especially when he's trying his best. 

59. I can't manage you anymore.

Did you ever start the relationship with a "manage memo?" Why would you want to tell your man you can't manage him any further. It's supposed to be a loving relationship, not an agent-footballer arrangement. 

60. You are too needy.

There are millions of ways to encourage your man to do his own thing and not be all over you every time. A needy person already has some self-esteem issues. Running it in their face will only further hurt them.

61. I wasn't thinking when I agreed to marry you.

i wasn't thinking when i agreed to marry you

You may swing this one under being upset or angry when you said it, but trust me, your husband won't forget this soul-crushing comment in a hurry.

62. "They warned me about you."

Whether or not someone gave you a hint that your man is no good before you married him, it's a horrible thing to say to him because you had an argument. This one will leave him wondering for a long time how many people have a flawed notion about him.

63. Your kids are ugly.

Couples can have an argument or a fight in relationships; there no doubt about it. However, when you go for the "jugular" just because you want to get back at him, that's pretty mean and low.

64. I can't marry you with your kids.

Well, he's not going to flush them down the drain. Children are amazing. But if it's too much baggage for you to live with another woman's children, there are millions of ways to pass that feeling across to a guy you are dating.

65. You don't have what it takes to take care of me.

Perhaps you don't want to date a guy, it's okay to simply let him know. Rejecting him by making it about his financial position is not only rude, but it also puts you in a bad place.

66. We are not in the same class.

Again, belittling a guy because you don't want to go out with him is mean. Even if you are a celebrity or privileged, it's low to rub your social status on someone's face.

67. I wish I could have a man as funny as you.

Ouch! This one will hurt any guy like a knife, especially if he's into you. It might mean nothing to you as you may only be saying the qualities you want in your kind of man. However, it's a classic "I cannot date you" move.

68. I can't date someone like you.

"Someone like him," that sounds like there is something wrong with him, making him "undateable." Rejection is altogether hard to accept sometimes. Now, adding a mean comment tour makes it even harder to swallow.

69. You can't become anything without me.

Some relationships may not last forever, even after you promise each other the "till death do us part" love." In whatever way you have been a positive contribution to your partner's life, you don't have to be mean when displaying a God complex. Saying they won't amount to anything without you is unnecessary.

70. You are a failure.

Failure isn't specific to a person, and anyone can fail. In fact, the most successful people in the world had experienced failures before they got their big breaks. Support is what your man needs.

71. You are an idiot. 

Insults are forms of emotional violence. Girl, you don't want to be a torment to your man's emotion. It's not only disrespectful saying he's an idiot, it's showing you are toxic.

72. No one will marry you when I leave. 

Divorce doesn't have to be messy. If the relationship isn't working, it might be best for both parties to leave peacefully. 

73. I'll take your kids from you.

Because women usually have the upper hand in many divorce scenarios doesn't mean you have to threaten him emotionally. You both have equal rights to your kids. 

74. I'll take all you own if you divorce me.

Again, it's not uncommon for many divorce cases to favor women. Continually making a man feel he has to put up with your excesses because of the fear of losing more than half of what he owns is just plain wicked.

75. What makes you so sure the kids are yours.

One of my friend's husbands cheated on him. Girl, she was so mad he made him feel their four daughters weren't his. He had to go through the hassle of confirming there was no paternity fraud for real before divorcing him.

76. You are wrong for being angry.

An argument between couples isn't necessarily about who's correct or wrong. It's simply about sharing feelings in order to make up and get better. Saying your partner is wrong for being angry is technically saying they don't have a right to have feelings.

77. "You are not the boss of me."

While it's okay to stand your ground when your partner is forceful, hearing these words frequently could also mean you don't want to be a team player. Couples are meant to be a team. 

78. You are not someone I can count on.

Yeah, it looks like your partner is performing below your expectations. But using these words means you can't see any good about his presence in the relationship.

79. I don't love you anymore.

i don't love you anymore

There's almost no other statement that could sting the heart sharper than "I don't love you anymore." When you drop it this way, it looks like there are no doubts any more—no longer room for trial or couples counseling.

80. That's something I love about my ex.

Try not to be too blunt, thinking you are telling your man what you need. You can do so without making your past love look like a superman.

81. My friend's husband always does this.

One of the most unfair ways to treat your partner is by bringing a third party to your relationship. You'll not only judge him with an impaired view; you'll end up hurting and pushing him away.

82. You have to make more money, or I might leave.

There is no sugar-coating this one. It's got threats written all over it. You even sound like you are putting your partner under unnecessary pressure to please you.

83. Get over it.

This statement is very hurtful. It's a cruel way of saying you are not sorry you hurt your significant other, and they just have to forget about it.

84. Deal with it.

Quite similar to the above. It's a phrase from a narcissist playbook. A direct and cold way of saying, "I'm not going to apologize, so what are you going to do about it?"

85. I need space.

When the words come out this way, your partner may translate it as you want out, while you may just mean you need some time to process issues.

86. You sometimes remind me of a past I hate.

It's very mean to make your partner feel like he's a reminder of your past painful experience. He might not be doing it intentionally, so cut him some slacks.

87. If you can't take it, then leave.

If you are trying to get back at your partner with this statement, girl, it's more likely he's reading it as you don't want to be with him anymore.

88. You are impossible to live with.

These words are a complete dent to a guy's personality, capacity, and self-esteem. You are not only saying"I don't want you anymore," but also "nobody will want you."

89. That's not my job.

Saying you are tired is one thing, but "that's not my job" is saying I'm not going to be helpful, so deal with it. 

90. I don't have the strength for that.

Again, this statement is an indirect way of saying you don't want to contribute your quota. You don't have the strength for that, but you are probably open to doing something else.

91. It's a man's job to pay the bills.

It's the 21st century. Both men and women are now pulling resources and money together to make marriages work. This type of response in a conversation is sending a sign that you don't care.

92. You never understand me.

Again, men don't like being inadequate. This statement is a huge slap on his ego and intellect. Of course, he'll feel hurt.

93. You used to look handsome in the past.

Does it sound like a compliment? No, it's not. The blast from the past makes it look like your telling him he's now a shadow of himself. Trust me; he won't find it funny.

94. It's always boring with you.

it's always boring with you

You are both investing in the relationship. Making it look like it's only his responsibility, and he failed to keep the spark between you both alive is irrational and mean.

95. I hate your friends.

If your partner's friends aren't deliberately making you uncomfortable, these words are uncalled for. You don't have to like them, but you don't have to hate them and tell him about it.

96. It must be nice to have a woman do your job for you.

Okay, so you earn more than your partner. Big deal, that doesn't mean you have to emasculate him. 

97. A condom could have saved the world your presence.

Okay, so this one is bad. No matter what he did, girl, you shouldn't make him feel he doesn't have the right to live. What's more, the comment subtly brings his parents into it.

98. I wish you were dead.

It's best not to let emotions take you over to say things that could even get you into trouble. If he truly drops dead, you could be a suspect.

99. I hope you never recover. 

When a person is sick, it usually makes others pity them. Saying you wish them dead on their sickbed is not just the highest level of being mean; it shows you are vindictive and, altogether, a cruel person.

100. There's no point talking about it with you.

This statement is more like writing off a person. Not seeing any advantage of discussing a matter with a guy means he's completely insignificant.

101. I can't live my life with you in it. 

Relationships go south even after them for "better or worse" promise. Breaking it off shouldn't be an opportunity to exchange toxic words. Making someone feel they are a hindrance to your potential isn't a nice thing to say.

FAQs

What's the worst thing to say to a guy?

Words that make guys feel inadequate are the worst. E.g., you can't amount to anything; you can't even make me orgasm, be a man for once.

What should you never say to a guy?

Words that hit guys "below the belt" are often hard to forget. Because guys always like to be heroes, statements that make him feel less than a hero are what they never want to hear.

What four words can ruin a relationship?

I don't love you.
I can count on you.
You don't excite me anymore
I only have sex with you as a duty. 

What are men's secret obsessions?

Apart from food, sex, men have the innate desire to be saviors of women. Even if a woman can handle something on her man, a man still wants to play Prince Charming and swoop in to save the day. 

How do you make him crazy about me?

For starters, dress the part. Something sexy but not trashy. Give him a flash of you, i.e., make him work for while you make yourself available only occasionally. Also, be kind to his friends. 

To Conclude 

More than half the time, we say mean things when we are upset, especially when we want to get back at someone we love or used to love us. While it sometimes feels justifiable to be mean to others that were equally mean to us, it's best to avoid saying what you'll later regret.

Instead, say something nice or nothing at all. 

I hope you enjoyed the article? Feel free to drop a comment and share it with your friends.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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