When you first get into a new relationship, everything probably feels exciting. It’s almost as if you both can’t get enough of each other. He is calling you every day, you’re sneaking off work or school just to hang out with him. Yes, all the fun stuff you can think about. So what happens when all those butterflies go away?
Does the attraction seem basic, and you almost feel like he’s slowly losing interest in you?
If so, first of all, it’s important to remember that once you start a new relationship, it’s easy for that initial mystery to fade away with time. That doesn’t mean your boyfriend doesn’t love you, it simply means you have really gotten to know each other.
However, it’s important to differentiate between a relationship that has just relaxed and fallen into routine and one that has kind of withered out. That’s because when a couple starts losing interest in one another or gets bored as the case may be, the results can be dangerous. But, if you know on time, there will certainly be a way to salvage the situation on time.
So, if you are wondering what’s happening in your relationship right now, keep reading to find out some of the red flags that signify boredom in relationships.
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There’s really nothing wrong with hanging out with others even when in a relationship. However, when he’s always at his friend’s place, playing games, drinking with the guys, and all that, that could be a major warning sign. Your partner should want to spend time with you, and if he’s purposely hanging out with others to avoid that, then that’s an issue.
Every relationship requires quality time, whether it’s long-distance or not. That means both of you should create time to laugh, talk, watch movies, listen to music, or share an activity. If your partner feels that he’ll have a better time with his friends, he’s probably feeling bored at home. It may be tricky to ask him outrightly, so tread with caution.
Try scheduling a date or games night with him and see how he responds; if he chooses his friends over you more often than not, there’s your sign right there.
Apart from hanging out with friends, what other excuse is your boyfriend coming up with to avoid time together? It could be work, family, personal projects, and the likes. Note that all these things are important; in fact, if he isn’t focused on any of them he needs to get serious. But, it’s different if he’s not carrying you along.
Does he just disappear for days without a word and then blame it on work? It wouldn’t take him anything to send a simple text through and call during breaks. If none of that is happening, then he may be intentionally looking for an escape. However, if he still makes an effort to keep you posted on his busy schedule, that man may genuinely be busy.
When you first started the relationship, both of you communicated practically every day and maybe you spent hours talking about anything and everything. Now, your partner’s behavior is mysterious to you, because it’s just unimaginable how someone so chatty can be so silent.
First of all, cut him some slack, a lot has happened in the last few months to shake anyone to silence. He could be going through challenges he’s not comfortable sharing at the moment. Respect his wishes, but after a few days, try to initiate an open and respectful conversation.
Sometimes, it’s easy to conclude that a partner is giving a cold shoulder when there could be ten other reasons for their silence.
However, remember, if this relationship has grown to the point that you both share practically anything and everything, and he’s holding back over time, that could be a sign of boredom in the relationship. It’s not that he thinks you’re not interesting, he has probably just lost the urge to share anything essential at this time.
If we are true to ourselves, we women know when our men are being over flirty or chatty with other ladies. It’s just easier to ignore that a human being you treasure so much can even look at another woman with interest!
So, the next time you're sitting across from him and catch him stare for too long, or strategically turn when a pretty lady passes by, you better call that man out on it.
That’s because if you choose to be silent and ‘hope for the best,’ he may go ahead to act on his feelings based on boredom. We’re human beings, it’s normal to want to switch things up and meet new people. But since we know some people lack the self-control to stay faithful when the opportunity presents itself, it’s better to nip that straying thought in the bud before it blooms.
Remember, there’s no need to make a scene. Simply give him a knowing nudge or call his name gently but firmly so he knows he's been caught in the act.
When you first got into a relationship with this guy, everything about you amused him. Now, it seems everything you do annoys him! That’s a sign of boredom in a relationship; it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, his interest has just tanked out at that time. Most men show their depleting interest in a relationship by being gruff, rude, or arrogant.
That doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore, it just means they have lost the zeal to laugh at those jokes that made them roll in laughter before. If your partner feels like being alone, and you’re busy re-telling an experience at the salon or grocery store, he certainly won’t be amused.
At the time, the only feelings he’s processing are those of irritation and annoyance, that’s what happens when people are bored, nothing you do may appeal to him at the time.
You’re chatting away about how lovely the new restaurant in town is, but he’d rather listen to chipmunks going at it. I know the feeling, and it’s not nice. Everyone wants to feel loved, and a bored partner is less than likely to show such signs of love. Rather, they would prefer to be on their own, and if that man even wants to spend time with someone, it wouldn’t be you.
Yes, that’s painful to hear, but the best way to understand the situation is to know some of the feelings your partner is dealing with. Remember, this man may be getting bored not just because he wants to, but probably because of how routine or dull things have gotten. He feels caged in, drained, and hopefully not frustrated.
If he is not being arrogant, please don’t go on the defensive when approaching him. Rather, try to pacify the situation by spicing things up. Take him out to new scenery, look through old and nostalgic pictures or videos just to help him remember why he chose you.
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Many relationships go through a dry spell, and that may be what may be happening in yours. If your man seems more to himself and doesn’t initiate conversations, as usual, boredom could be the cause. He’s tired of the mechanical daily routines and doesn’t know how to process his feelings.
The zeal to start a conversation is no longer there simply because he isn’t even interested enough to stick around till the end. He’s rather be left alone with his thoughts than engage in a conversation with you.
Is this the case? Are you the one always bringing up conversations? Plus, how does he respond? If he seems nonchalant or unbothered about the topic, he probably didn’t want to talk in the first place.
Some guys are really good at hiding their disinterest, while some are not. However, when any relationship gets a bit boring, many men try without success to hide their feelings. When they are annoyed, you’ll know, if they are upset, they’ll show it. They won’t try to hide their feelings because, at the time, they already feel drained.
If your partner has gotten to this point, he may be expressing his frustrations and not necessarily trying to spite you.
There are two major categories of men; the ones who stay positive about sex regardless of how the relationship is going, and others that simply can’t fake romance. The latter will be explained in the next point, but let’s talk about the guys that stay positive about sex.
Well, it’s simple. That will be the only thing they seem interested in, but right after sex, they’ll go back to ignoring or spacing you. If your partner is doing this, then you have to speak to him about it, sex is just one part of a mutual relationship, the other aspects should not be neglected while only your sex life thrives.
Now, if your partner’s sex drive has declined, and he rarely initiates sex anymore, he may simply be bored. Abstinence in relationships is not always a result of cheating. Sometimes, the other party is simply drained and uninterested in doing anything intimate.
If your partner is always on his phone and pays you less attention by the day, then that may be another sign that he’s bored. When phones, social media or TV get in between a couple, then it means they are slowly losing the vibe and connection they had.
In this case, it’s better to speak to your partner concerning boundaries so he knows when to drop that phone and try to reconnect with you.
One of the pleasantries people in relationships enjoy is those occasional compliments given by a partner. However, when your partner becomes stingy with those compliments, that may be a warning sign. Regardless of what you do, if he doesn’t seem pleased, impressed, or at least vocalize his acknowledgment, then that’s a sign that he’s getting bored.
Arguments are not always negative. Sometimes, it proves that both parties have the urge and time to talk out their differences and find a middle point. So, if your partner has started to shy away from arguments and simply doesn’t care if you shout the house down, he may be getting bored.
Remember we talked about the guys that stay positive about sex even when the relationship is suffering a sry streak? Yeah, some of those men may keep ‘getting it,’ but you’ll certainly notice the difference.
So, maybe you already noticed that your partner was somewhat bored in the relationship. You suggested going on dates, trying new sexual fantasies and still, he didn’t budge. Then that my dear, is a serious dry streak he’s going through. It’s one thing to become bored because nothing new is happening in the relationship and another to refuse to do anything about it.
Has he talked about giving you space or vice versa? Then that’s another major sign of a man that’s bored in a relationship. He may not be suggesting this because he feels you both are no longer compatible, he’s just going through s dry spell and trying to figure his way around it.
Men love to surprise their women. The thrill we express and that smile on our faces, it’s everything to them. However, when your partner is bored, he will be less concerned about making you happy or seeing any thrill/excitement on your face. He’d rather have things stay the same than try to go out of his way to surprise or show you love.
Is everything you say is accompanied by an ironic smirk or a sarcastic statement? Yeah, then you may just relate to this next point. Irony is one gruesome friend of boredom. Sometimes, it’s unintentional, but they can’t help responding with sarcasm because they are truly bored and feel disconnected at that moment.
Maybe you used to have healthy conversations before, but now, all you can get after pouring your heart out is a sarcastic nod, smirk, or statement. It can be really annoying. So, don’t relent to talk to him about it if this attitude persists.
Have you ever sat right next to your partner and have him sub you negatively either on the phone or to his friends? He may get so carried away and say something like, “ Yeah, some ladies just get sucked into the whole idea of a relationship and kind of lose sight of everything else”.
He may not be direct. But sometimes, those vague comments are intentionally directed at you, especially when they don’t have the guts to say it in person.
You know that thing guys do when they just nod or say ‘mmm hmm’ when you’re talking about something really serious? Yes, it’s quite annoying. It sure makes you feel that they aren’t interested in what you have to say, and that may or may not be the case here.
Your significant other may be using those oh-so-popular grunts and gestures to make you feel like he’s listening when he’s really not. You could try asking him follow-up questions to see if he is actually paying attention.
Usually, when you go three or more days without contacting each other, it’s normal for your partner to call up and check on you. For some people, communicating every day is a norm and they expect nothing less than that. But, if this guy doesn’t seem bothered by your absence, then there’s a problem right there.
Except his phone got stolen or the network provider suddenly shut down, a simple ‘How are you doing’ or ‘Hey you’ text would make you feel loved. So, one of the reasons he’s not texting or calling could be because he has really lost any excitement or interest in the meantime. Time away from you may just be the space he needs to think, de-stress and clear his head.
Have you noticed your man pulling off the whole, ‘showering with his phone’, changing his passwords, and locking his screen when you come around? He may not be physically cheating just yet, but he’s certainly chatting with other girls without conscientiously thinking about you.
When men get bored, they can get selfish too, which means they won’t really care that talking with other girls would hurt you, they just want to experience that thrill again. Remember, you don’t have to go snooping around his phone or trying to catch him in the act.
It’s best to have a mature conversation with him and let him know he’s being sneaky. The sooner both of you figure things out, the better.
‘My tire got flat’, ‘I'm homesick’, ‘My boss needs me’, ‘Social distancing’, these are just a few reasons your partner may give for not spending time with you. Now, they would all make sense if you didn’t know this guy, but you do, right? Some guys come up with seemingly reasonable excuses just so they don’t have to sit through hours with you, it may sound hurtful but it’s true.
Besides, the fact that they don’t want to hang out may have little to do with you and more to do with the relationship as a whole. If things are slowing down between both of you, then that may be the reason this guy is spacing you. Every attempt you make to meet up could be met by another excuse for as long as that man continues to feel bored and not thrilled or interested.
While some men avoid any type of communication when they are bored in a relationship, others express that boredom through creating extra drama. That’s their own way of crying for help or expressing their frustration.
Early on in the relationship, this same guy probably overlooked a lot of things, not because he was pretending, but simply because things were more thrilling at the time. When the excitement in a relationship wanes, so does tolerance, understanding, and compromise.
Most new relationships enjoy what many call the ‘honeymoon period,’ it’s a point where everything seems extremely rosy and blissful. In this so-called honeymoon period, both partners are probably stuck on calling each other, and hardly stay more than two days without establishing contact.
So, if after a few months or years, your partner slows down his roll and hardly calls or texts, then that’s a red flag. However, it’s even worse when you are reaching out to him, and he doesn’t answer the phone—even when you know he’d be free at that time. It boils down to one thing; he’s bored and doesn’t feel like talking.
This has to be the height of being bored in a relationship when he no longer cares that other guys have their sights on you. Do you have any new dudes trying to get your attention? Does your partner know about them? What was his reaction? Now, let’s get something clear, if your man has never really been the jealous type, then you can skip this point.
Some men either do not show their jealousy or just have enough faith in their significant other not to be bothered. However, if this guy in question used to go crazy when a guy even talked to you but is now indifferent about that fact, then that’s dangerous. It’s one thing to get bored in a relationship, and another to completely lose interest in the life of someone you love.
That means this is one sign to look out for, and also one to hope against because if the boredom has eaten this deep, your relationship may be on the brink of its end.
You used to go on dates, cook together on Sundays, cycle on Saturdays, or maybe even work out together. Do those days seem extinct? Yes, this is a direct result of boredom in relationships. If your partner isn’t bothered by the declining outings, that’s even a different problem.
That means he is already used to this dry streak in the relationship that he doesn’t bother to suggest activities anymore. If you don’t step in and try to salvage the situation, you’re putting that relationship in jeopardy. Yes, I know it takes two to make a relationship work, but sometimes, one person has to stick their head out to put the other party’s head back in.
Don’t get me wrong, even when a couple is completely devoted to their relationship, it’s normal to miss the freedoms of the single life. You have probably thought about what it would be like to be single again, or maybe not. So, while the single life may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and easily becomes a fantasy for a man that is bored in a relationship.
How do you know he’s considering being single again? Well, first of all, he’ll start acting like it. Some of the above tips list characteristics are associated with being single, like communication avoidance, not going on dates, and the likes.
So, even though he doesn’t say so, doing some or a majority of these things shows he may feel it’s greener on the single side of life. Also, if he’s constantly reminiscing his single days, that’s a major result of boredom.
There are a number of subtle signs your partner may be expressing that show he’s bored in the relationship. However, it’s even more glaring when he comes out straight and says, “I’m bored”. It may not be in those exact words, but if he says anything that relates to that, then please believe him.
It takes an honest person to admit he’s bored in a relationship, others would just pretend or give you the cold shoulder until you get the message. So, if that man starts asking, ‘When was the last time we actually ate out?” or “Is sex still fun for you?”, or even, “Why don’t we go out anymore?”, then he’s indirectly saying he’s bored.
Men may be able to hide their true feelings for some time, but after a while, if that man is really getting bored it’s sure to show. One warning sign may be the lack of effort to communicate; that’s one of the areas that suffers more when relationships have challenges.
So, if your boyfriend starts pulling away from conversations, contributes less to discussions, or talks less about his day or feelings, that’s certainly a sign he’s getting bored. He does not have to suggest a breakup before you know there’s a problem. If he doesn’t want to spend time with you or generally/abruptly stops being himself, then those are major signs of boredom in a relationship.
Boredom is a normal part of relationships, after all the thrill and excitement, things are bound to slow down a bit. However, it’s not okay to stay bored, it’s very important to mix things up and spark up that interest in the relationship again. If a couple doesn’t make an effort to make things fun again, boredom could easily become a problem.
Plus, if you and your partner are constantly getting bored of each other, that could be a sign that there are underlying problems in the relationships. Sure, couples lose that initial vibe every now and then, but that interest doesn’t stay low for long; a simple smile, joke, or date should revive the fire.
In some relationships, it’s common for couples to fall into the routine of having unpassionate and boring sex. One of the ways to know that your man is bored sexually is through his behavior and enthusiasm. If foreplay is thrown out the window and he just goes straight to penetrative sex, then he may either be tired, really horny, or bored.
You’ll know there’s an issue if he constantly avoids foreplay, and each experience feels almost forced or mechanical. There’s also communication to consider, does he say anything about the pleasure? Or simply grunt until he’s done and then roll off to sleep? If there’s no thrill, foreplay, enthusiasm, or communication, your partner may be sexually bored.
As mentioned above, one of the most common mistakes couples experiencing boredom in their relationship makes is to leave things the way they are. Relationships take work, which means you both must put in extra effort to make things thrilling again.
Break the usual relationship routine and spice things up by suggesting a vacation, surprising your partner, changing your scenery, and being more mysterious in the bedroom. There’s nothing good old romance and thoughtfulness can’t help, so don’t wait around for the issue to escalate.
The best way to make a man miss you is to show him a sneak peek of what he is missing. Wait, that doesn’t necessarily mean sending him any ‘adult pictures’, but simply having fun and remaining driven could keep a man’s heart stuck on you.
Sending him sexy pictures may grab his attention for a while, but what really keeps a man is the mystery that is ‘you’. Show him how unique you are by expressing care, giving compliments, staying confident, then mix all that with a little mystique. Do not always be available, text occasionally, visit strategically, and keep being witty and spontaneous.
It’s not easy to come to terms with the fact that your partner is getting bored in the relationship. However, now that you have read the major signs, it’s time to think about what to do to save your relationship. I hope this write-up helped you in some way.
I would really love to read the feedback, so feel free to leave a comment below. Also, kindly share this article with someone who needs it too! Good luck.
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Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.
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This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.
