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Is He Seeing Someone Else? (23 Sneaky Ways to Tell)

by Sonya Schwartz

Today’s dating pool has become a complete nightmare; it seems the easier technology makes meeting people, the harder it becomes to find genuine people. The scary part is that it's not getting any better. People are coming up with creative ways to eat their cake and have it. 

Unfortunately but not surprisingly, women find themselves falling victim most of the time. It leaves us wondering where we went wrong and what we can do to stop it. If you’re one of these women and you’ve noticed some signs that your partner may be playing you, you came to the right place. 

As a woman myself, I can understand how it feels to be left wondering if your partner is occupied with other areas of his life, tired of you, or seeing someone else. There’s no need to worry anymore. As the ‘once-bitten-twice-shy’ woman that I am, I have compiled a list of 23 signs he’s seeing someone else. If you’d like to either confirm or refute your suspicions, keep reading. 

23 Ways To Tell If He’s Seeing Someone Else

1. He Still Has An Active Online Dating Profile

People register on dating apps to find other available individuals, whether for casual hookups or to find their happily ever after. If you both agreed to a long-term, old-fashioned, committed relationship, then he should not have an active, existing dating profile. There’s absolutely no good reason for him to keep his dating profile up. So don’t let him manipulate you into thinking so. 

Having an active dating profile indirectly means he’s open to seeing other people, it means his options are still wide open. Even if he says he doesn’t check it, he’s probably keeping it there for security. He may have honestly forgotten to delete it; just to be sure, bring it to his attention. If he still doesn’t delete after everything, then he’s probably dating other people.

2. He Texts Once In A Blue Moon

he texts you once in a blue moon

A few years ago, this may not have been an issue, but now it's quite important. Since technology and social media have brought everyone closer through easy communication, there are not very many excuses for not communicating. In fact, one major way to tell if your partner is just not that into you or perhaps is getting some on the side is if he’s not texting back. 

Texting is one of the major signs that he’s committed to you and your relationship, it's normal to enjoy talking to the person you’re dating. However, it's possible that your man is just not the best ‘texter’, he may be more of a face-to-face person or a caller. Nevertheless, don’t be ignorant of the ‘ghost’ zone, there’s a very thin line between being a face-to-face person and being a ‘ghoster’.

3. It’s All Fun And Games 

Let's admit it, relationships are hella fun! but they’re definitely not all fun and games. There are times when things get real. Having the most fun in your relationship isn’t wrong, in fact, finding someone whose company you completely enjoy is the goal. 

However, you should consider it a red light if the only thing your entire relationship is based on around is fun. There’s more depth to real relationships, there should be other things involved like vulnerable moments, difficult conversations, even misunderstandings from time to time. 

Getting through the friction successfully is what solidifies the relationship, it's what teaches you to communicate better with each other. If he’s constantly dodging the serious and necessary conversations, then you’re probably not the only one he’s seeing. He’s either still searching or he’s just not ready for a serious relationship. 

4. He’s Always Texting When He’s With You

Aside from the fact that it's just plain rude if he’s always texting when he’s with you, chances are one or two of those people are potential hookups. This is especially a concern if he takes his sweet time responding to your own messages, yet all of a sudden you’re both on a date and he can’t seem to put his phone down for a whole minute. 

You probably assumed he had family or work issues to handle, it would be perfectly normal to think so. If you’ve had a talk with him and he confirms that there are no emergencies, yet he can’t seem to put his phone down, there's a fat chance that he’s dating other people. 

5. He Claims Not To Like ‘Labels’

The famous ‘no label’ excuse is an indirect way of saying he doesn’t want to commit to you. He may not even be ready to commit to anyone at all. He’s the ‘free-spirited’ guy who never wants to be accountable to someone, never wants to be ‘tied down’ to one girl, and is perfectly happy with his carefree, independent lifestyle. 

With this type of guy, it doesn’t matter how perfect you are like a girlfriend, he’ll never stick to just you. It could also be that he doesn’t think you’re the right one for him but he’s just attracted to you and wants to have you around in the meantime. It's obvious when a man is just comfortable with the way things are in his life. He won’t be willing to make space for you in it. 

If you attempt to put pressure, he’ll either brush it off or make you feel stupid for bringing it up. 

Don’t get sucked into that lie that he’s too modern and doesn’t agree with the old fashioned labels, the raw truth is when a man truly loves a woman, his motive is to openly commit to her. He wouldn’t want anyone else to come to take you away.

6. You Aren’t On His Priority List 

you aren't on his priority list

Finding out your position on his priority list is not rocket science, it's not hard to tell where a man’s loyalty lies. It's not hard for men to tell you everything you need to hear to decide whether they mean it or not. They’re always ready to turn on their charm and make you feel like the most important person in the world when it suits them but when other life issues show up, he suddenly forgets you exist. 

If you’re insignificant to him, it will show in his actions. You won’t be able to call him whenever you need him, he won’t be dependable. You’d both agree on a time to meet and he’ll always have a ‘good’ reason to stand you up or keep you waiting. 

7. There’s No Confirmation That You’re Exclusive

This one could prove a bit tricky, however, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll notice it plain blank. The times spent with this guy may be perfect and quite fun even. This, however, does not mean that you’re exclusive. Just because he treats you well doesn’t mean you’re an actual couple, he may just be a really polite guy. 

When a guy is serious about exclusively being with someone, it's not hidden he makes it clear. Even the timidest of guys would find a way to get the message across. He’ll make it clear that he wants you to be his girlfriend. If you haven’t got this kind of clarity from him, chances are he’s seeing someone else.

8. He Hangs Out With You Only At Certain Times

It's no secret that guys are able to say anything to trick your mind into thinking they love you but their actions tell you something entirely different. If he has no interest at all in seeing you during the weekend, he may be reserving those days for someone else. If it seems like he works on the weekends, then this is an exception. 

It's normal for a couple to spend time together on weekends since these are the freest days. If he truly enjoys your company, he’ll want to spend long hours with you. No guy is too busy to be with the woman he really likes. Don’t let him make you feel like you’re desperate for asking.

9. He Openly Checks Out Other Women Even When You’re There 

Aside from being plain disrespectful, checking out other women in your presence means he does not regard you. You’re not on his mind and he doesn’t even care to hide it. Men like this are mostly very emotionally immature and not ready to build or maintain an actual relationship, he’s a walking, talking red flag. 

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to go along with it just to seem like that cool girl. If he’s one to physically turn while a hot waitress walks by, this is a sign that he may be seeing someone else.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

10. He’s Always Making Last-Minute Plans 

If he always calls you up at odd hours or last minute, this is a sign that you may be a last resort for him. This doesn’t mean that you’re not girlfriend material, the reason is clear; he’s simply not the one. It's possible that he’s just spontaneous but the chances of those are quite slim, even spontaneous people make plans and respect other people's time. 

When a guy really likes you, he always wants to spend as much time with you as possible. You’d automatically occupy a large chunk of his daily thoughts. So, if he’s calling you up last minute to make plans then he’s probably seeing another woman. 

11. He Disappears Into Thin Air

he disappears into thin air

This brings us back to texting and easy communication, they exist and they’re here to stay. Thanks to technology, there are so many communication outlets available to us so he has no viable excuse for going MIA. 

If your partner goes absent for days whenever he feels like it, then he’s probably involved with someone else. There’s also the possibility that he’s just not that into you. No matter how much sense his excuses make, if he’s going AWOL, then he’s not serious about you. 

If he’s genuinely a nice guy and you feel like his feelings for you are genuine then perhaps it's not the right time for you to be with him. Perhaps after sometime when he’s a bit more emotionally mature, you can reach out to each other and work on building something original.

12. He’s So Guarded About His Phone 

He tilts the screen of his phone when you’re seated closeby, he secures his phone with a hundred locks and he puts so much energy into hiding his phone from you. It's just so obvious, it doesn’t need to be spelled out, there’s another woman in the picture. 

Guarding phones has never been a good sign. It's normal to be careful with your phone since it contains lots of information about you. However, if your partner is going out of his way to make sure you do not see the contents of his phone, then the signs couldn’t be clearer. There’s probably someone else in the picture.

13. He’s Acting Weird 

It's true what they say about a woman’s instincts, 90% of the time, it's accurate. If your basic instincts are warning you that this guy is hiding thongs, you better believe it. Don't try to make excuses for him or give him multiple chances. If he shows you who he is, please believe him. 

Some men hide behind the deceitfulness of 'mystery’. After the first month of being with him, the mystery should not exist anymore. If there's something you need to know, seek it out, and find it yourself if he has refused to tell you himself. You just may find out that there's another woman in the picture.

14. He Permanently Lives In The 'Now'

It's normal for a couple to live in the moment for the first few months of their relationship. No one wants to choke the other with talks of the dreaded 'future'. Unfortunately, you can't run from it forever. At some point, you're going to have to talk about where your relationship is headed. 

Any man who is serious about you will try to bring up the topic, more sooner than later. He may ask what city you see yourself moving to in the next year or what career changes you see yourself, making in the future. 

He will always try to factor you into his life in one way or the other. On the other hand, if you're just of his many flings, he will keep dodging any talks of the future. He'll do everything to keep you relaxed in the present. 

15. It's All About That 'Bass'

There's no doubt that it's really flattering to have someone (outside yourself) be obsessed with your body. There’s no harm if he finds you physically attractive but also loves your person. It's normal to enjoy all the physical stuff during the first month of your relationship, but at some point, your relationship should include other things too. 

All the fun physical 'activities' should be accompanied by multiple other experiences that would help you know and understand each other better. There should be a conversation, participation in each other's lives and achievements, support, meeting friends and family, etc. 

If he's not interested in all these other things and just wants to remain 'physical', then he's probably not serious about you and there may be other people in the picture.

16. He Doesn't Seem Excited About You

he doesn't seem excited about you

When a guy is into you, he's going to be excited to see you excited to have you around, excited to hear from you, etc. He may not always do a dance when he sees you (that would be a bit creepy), but there would be a few signs, no matter how subtle. 

For example, his face will light up when he sees you or when you video calls him, or his mood would brighten up. You'd hear his friends mention that he won't stop talking about you and so on.

 If he's a bit too chill about everything, not really minding if you cancel a date, or if someone else is hitting on you. If he's not really putting much effort into seeing you (or just in general), then you're probably not the only one in his life.

17. You Don't Know His Friends And He Doesn't Seem Eager To Meet Yours

When you meet someone you really like, one of the first things you want to do is introduce them to the people closest to you. Just like all the other exciting new things in your life, like a new job, or a new project; you'd be excited to tell your friends about that.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

S,o if for some reason, he keeps avoiding the topic of meeting your friends or never asks for you to meet him, then there's definitely something fishy going on. This isn't one of those subtle signs that you can ignore, as a matter of fact, it's a major red flag! 

There's no good reason for this. Men love to show off the women they love, they want the world to see this amazing person they've met. If he's trying to hide you from the people closest to him, I suggest you start to pack up your stuff. You're probably not the only person he's with.

18. He Seems To Be Hiding Something

You're going to have to be completely honest with yourself about this because when someone is hiding stuff, there are always signs. If you're honest, you'd be able to pinpoint them and perhaps even find out what it is they're hiding. 

If your partner happens to be too guarded about his inner world like where he works, what he does for a living, where he lives, who his friends are, his family too, then he's probably trying to hide the fact that you're not the only person in his life. 

A new couple should always want to explore each other's lives openly. Don't let him make you feel weird about wanting to know things about him. There's no crime, it's perfectly normal.

19. He Avoids Certain Places When He's Taking You Out 

he avoids certain places when he's taking you out

Why should a person run when no one is chasing them? That's something you really need to think about if your partner seems to seriously avoid going to certain places with you. You love a particular cinema or recommend a certain restaurant. Or perhaps, you bought tickets to see a particular show and he completely refused to go with you. 

Nothing you say will convince him and sometimes he even gets irritable or panicky when you bring it up. If this isn't a sign, I don't know what is. You need to start asking him some major questions.

20. He's Drifting Away

Partners are supposed to grow closer as their relationship advances. It's the natural flow of things. If you're in a meaningful relationship with a guy who is serious about you, you'd both grow to keep knowing and understanding each other more. 

However, if you started noticing some distance growing between the both of you all of a sudden, there's a probability that your partner is seeing other people. Although there may be other reasons for this distance like stress from work, family issues, a personal crisis, etc. So be sure to ask him before you jump to conclusions. 

21. He Avoids You On Social Media

Most people's social lives exist mainly on social media. For some guys, that's where they share most of the happenings in their lives. Not all couples like to go public when they're together, but there's a big difference between wanting to be conservative and completely avoiding a person. 

Even if he's not posting your photos on his page every chance he gets, at least tagging you on some posts, liking your posts, or commenting on them isn't so hard. If you notice that he wants nothing to do with any of these things, there's a chance that he's trying to hide you away from some other girls he may be involved with.

22. He Has Become Defensive

he has become defensive

If you notice that your partner has become a bit more irritable or defensive when you ask him certain questions, he may be hiding something major. Asking simple questions about his whereabouts or a change in his schedule shouldn't be enough to tick him off. It's normal for couples to talk about how their day went, their good moments and bad ones, etc. 

So, if you're trying to talk with him about his day and he's getting twitchy or avoiding eye contact, acting tense or defensive, I think it's time you sit and have a serious talk with him about what's really going on.

23. You Keep Seeing Him With A Particular Woman A Little More Than Usual

It's not wrong for your partner to hang out with other people, especially their friends or co-workers, in fact, it's quite healthy for a couple to have healthy relationships outside each other. 

However, if you notice a particular woman, especially if it's someone from his past like an ex-girlfriend, who probably doesn't really need to be around him, but still is—there's probably something going on between them. Even if they haven't officially done anything yet, there's a fat chance that something is brewing. 

FAQs

How do you know if he's seeing someone else?

It's clear that your partner is seeing someone else if he has suddenly started getting secretive about everything if he starts canceling dates and family appointments with you and if you both aren't as intimate as you were before. Some men also become a bit manipulative when they're sneaking around. 

Can I ask him if he's sleeping with someone else?

It's not advisable to ask him directly if you don't have any other way to confirm if he's seeing someone else and you've decided to ask him. Perhaps, try asking if work or extended family has been taking his time lately. If his answer is no, then you can ask if there's someone else in the picture. 

How do you know when a guy loses interest in you?

This is every woman's nightmare, and most of them can't recognize the signs. The first sign is if he suddenly isn't interested in listening to you anymore, or he cuts you off when you're talking. If he becomes insensitive to the things that hurt you and tends to become selfish, then he's probably lost interest.

Is he a player or genuine?

If he's a really experienced player, then it may be harder to tell. A man that is committed to you with his time, attention, and most of his resources is genuine. If he's a player l, he'll be the complete opposite. He'll always have excuses to cancel on you and will always be extra secretive.

How do you know if he's texting someone else?

He's probably texting someone else if he's suddenly less available, calls you a different name by mistake, keeps texting or taking different calls when you're together and he's always arranging meetings with you round his own schedule and never yours. You'd also notice that he guards his phone with so much commitment.

The Bottom Line

I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, there are always numerous signs leading up to infidelity, the mistake women make is ignoring them. Try your best not to ignore the signs if you notice them. Please let me know what you think of this topic in the comment section below and be sure to share it.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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