Many people find it odd when someone else says: “I don’t want to be in a relationship.” In the past, boys and girls were married as young as 16, and if a young woman wasn’t married with children she was deemed queer, damaged, sinful, or a witch. This of course was back when people didn’t live long, and the age of 40 was considered ‘old.’
Table of Contents
Still, through the course of history, society pressures people to be in a relationship, or sexually active. In entertainment, you’re either in a long-term relationship, a player, or a loser. But the reality is, life doesn’t work like that. There are plenty of brilliant, loving, warm kind people who simply don’t want or need a partner. And that is perfectly okay.
Sometimes life changes people. So needless to say, if someone who does not want a relationship now may want one in the future. People can change their minds and what they like whenever they want.
The important thing to remember is that you need to make sure what you want before doing something. And surprisingly, many people just want to be alone, and because no one lives the same life, there could be a great many reasons why.
It’s not uncommon for people to have emotional scars from lovers' past. If there is one thing that can certainly make someone want to abstain from romance and relationships, it’s past trauma. Abuse (in all forms), infidelity, or a toxic relationship can cause mental and emotional issues that could potentially take years to recover from. Most of the time if a person hasn’t taken the time to work on themselves and heal, it can lead to a pattern of abusive or toxic relationships.
A person who does not experience romantic attraction or sexual attraction in someone else usually abstain from relationships unless they find someone like them. It’s hard to be in a relationship if you don’t have relationship type of feelings - and can cause resentments over time when they make an attempt to have a relationship who doesn’t share their particular views on relationships and sex.
People who are obsessed with their job and have big life ambitions usually don’t have time for a relationship, which is why they are usually super casual when they are dating. They know they don’t have the time that a partner would deserve, and would rather make things clear before a potential partner would get their hopes up. It doesn’t mean that later on in life they won’t settle down and want a relationship one day, but until they get to that point there is nothing more important to them than their job or business.
Another reason someone may not want to be in a relationship is that they are too independent. For whatever reason, they are not ready to share their lives, time, home or agree to the sacrifices a relationship would require. Not everyone is able to release their freedom for a serious partnership.
Sometimes it takes someone a lot longer to feel like they truly have had the chance to get to know you. They don’t rush into relationships and want to establish a friendship first. This simply means they are looking to truly settle down, and they are making sure that you are ‘the one.’
Something to keep in mind, many people aren’t ready to get into a serious committed relationship. They may like being able to casually date, hang out with friends, and not tied down by the chains a partner would provide. Even sometimes family issues or responsibilities may be a reason for them to avoid relationships.
It’s not uncommon for commitment issues being a large part of the reason why some just aren’t ready for a relationship. Fear of commitment is a real thing, and it can cause cheating, resentment, arguments and can essentially prevent a relationship from blossoming before it even begins.
Sometimes people just need to work on themselves. Whatever the reason may be, if a person acknowledges that they aren’t in a healthy enough place for a serious relationship then that needs to be respected. It’s hard to admit in the first place, but that kind of strength is the first step in being in a place where they can try to find stability and happiness emotionally with another person.
This one is pretty self-explanatory, but you need to understand that if someone says they aren’t ready, then the situation isn’t right. Even if you like this person, remember that you deserve someone who is going to be as committed to the relationship as you are. When a partnership is formed, sacrifices are made, and it takes two to make it work. A relationship involves dates, and activities done together, and spending time, and putting effort into each other's needs.
Both involved should be focused on each other and fully sharing everything with each other, and when only one party is fully committing it’s doomed to fail.
Some people worry about whether it is normal to not want to be in a relationship, but the answer is: Yes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Everyone has their own reasons. Some people are asexual. Others are aromantic. Other people may have been hurt and may be healing, or working on themselves. And some people just aren’t ready. No matter what, it’s perfectly okay to feel independent and not want a relationship.
Regardless of whether you don’t want a partner, or you just aren’t attracted to someone, it’s important to realize that if you don’t want a relationship, it’s perfectly fine. You could be someone who is aromantic or sexual, or perhaps you need time to yourself still after a previous breakup. Maybe sacrificing your freedom and independence just isn’t something you’re interested in. Regardless, it just means you’re okay by yourself, and that’s perfectly fine.
If a person says they aren’t ready for a relationship, usually in some way they are being honest. Some people aren’t ready for commitment and may enjoy being single for whatever reason. If a person says they aren’t ready for a relationship, then believe them.
If you want to break up with someone you still care about, the best way to do it is calmly, gently, and honestly. Try not to blindside them with it, give them answers and closure - and don’t get angry at them for their reaction.
Honesty is always the best policy. Especially when facing someone who wants to up your relationship to the next level. It’s always better to be as gentle as possible while telling the complete truth. If you don't want a relationship, then your relationship will not go anywhere, and it’ll just waste yours and his time.
No matter what the reason is that a person wants to be alone or avoid getting into a relationship, there’s nothing wrong with it. Whether they can’t develop romantic or sexual attractions, want to focus on their career, or are just not ready to commit to being a couple and be true to it, it goes without saying that it just isn’t going to happen or end up in a healthy way.
Trust me when I say when a person says that it’s just too soon, or complicated, or just don’t want to be in a relationship, they are trying to keep from breaking your heart and letting you move on to choose something who can provide what you truly need.
Have you ever experienced feeling like you just didn’t want to be in a relationship? Tell us in the comments if you have ever felt like you just wanted to be alone? Tell us your personal experience, and if you were happier when you were single. Thank you for reading this article, we hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to share with your friends!