Have you recently met a guy who wants to take things further? Or do you have a friend who wants more?
If yes, the issue now is, how to reject someone nicely without crushing their spirit. Unfortunately, rejection is never an easy task, especially with someone you know, like a friend.
It hurts almost just as bad as if you were the rejected one. Psychological studies show that when we experience rejection, we activate the same brain areas that receive physical pain, which is why rejection hurts so much.
Therefore, you must put a lot of thought into your choice of words, location, and time when rejecting someone. While you don’t want to be extra lovely with everyone you reject, you must try to be empathetic and not downright mean or demeaning, because they are also humans with feelings.
In this article, we will address 13 ways to reject someone while sparing their feelings. By the end of this article, you should feel a lot more confident in your decision to let go of that person you don’t want a relationship with.
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Before you turn down someone's romantic advances, you must surely have thought through the consequences and possible reactions. Perhaps, they don’t want to talk to you or start withdrawing the extra favors they were offering because of their interest. While it may hurt you, do not allow it to deter you from following through with your decision.
You know the person is not right for you, so there is no need to linger around as that will be deceitful and wrong. So, make sure you are at peace with your decision and accept its consequences. When you are at peace with your decision, it will be easy for you to be firm and not change your mind afterward.
It’s important that you think of your conversation ahead of time and maybe rehearse all that you will have to say. Think about how it sounds to you, or you can try practicing with a friend. Are you honest? Do you sound assertive enough? Letting someone else listen in will help you know if you’re handling things well.
You don’t want your message to seem inconsiderate of the other person’s feelings, it should be clear and compassionate. When you say no to their romantic advances, buffer it with a reason. This way, they know that your decision is something you have thought through and not just a rash response.
I know we are in the digital age, where anything can be done over the phone, via a call or text. However, face-to-face relations trumps any other means. It shows your maturity and allows you to see the person's immediate reaction and adjust accordingly. Your choice of venue should also be put into consideration here.
No one wants to face rejection in public, as that can be humiliating. So, pick a private and quiet place, somewhere you can both hear each other clearly; so that words are not misinterpreted.
The only exception to rejecting someone in person is if you don’t want them to react violently. Some people don’t know how to handle being rejected by someone else, and things may escalate if you are alone with him. In that case, you can choose a crowded area, like a restaurant or a shopping mall.
Imagine how you would feel if someone you admire walks up to you in the hallway and instantly rejects your advances. That's an uncomfortable situation, but that's exactly how a guy would feel if you don't prepare him for the rejection.
This does not mean you have to sugarcoat your words. Simply start with pleasant greetings and slowly build up the conversation. You can say something like "... you are an amazing friend and my time spent with you has been great, but…".
The saying, honesty is the best policy is not a bluff, and in this case, it will go a long way to save you some future trouble. If you want to reject someone whose romantic advances you don’t appreciate, there is no need to avoid him with lies.
For instance, he wants to ask you out on a date, do not lie about having a boyfriend if you are single, or say that you are busy when you aren't.
Rather, let him know that you don’t have romantic feelings for him, and you’re not willing to pursue things any further than what you share. If you are friends with this person, it’s way better to be honest with him, so he doesn’t feel let down when he sees you with someone else.
Yes, being rejected doesn’t just hurt; it’s also an awkward experience to deal with, so prepare for it. There will be painful silence, questions, and maybe tears, but you must be ready for it all.
You may feel like backing out or saying something else when you’re face to face with them, but this is no time to cower. You’ll end up worsening the situation that way, even though you are friends with this person. Remember that it’s for the greater good. The sooner he knows things won’t work out with you, the earlier he can move on.
Contrary to what you think about apologizing after a rejection, it does not soften the blow. It makes the person feel worse because not only have they been rejected, but the person also feels pity for them. In a way, rather than making them feel better, it will only worsen their feelings.
There’s no need to be apologetic about your decision because it does not do anyone any good. If you are still wondering how to let a guy down easy without apologizing, consider being civil, direct, and respectful. Remember, you are not a bad person for rejecting someone, so don't make a big deal out of it by apologizing.
It’s unfair just to lay out your points and say goodbye, it’s way too abrupt and a bit rude.
When you reject a guy, give him time to process the message and don't just walk away except he asks for space. Otherwise, remain present and give him room to ask questions, cry, vent, and at least say something.
This will provide him with the opportunity to feel involved in the process, and it's easier for him to let go. Also, you’ll want to ensure his friends aren’t around. He should have the first few minutes to himself, so he has time to gather himself together before having to face them.
Some guys do not know how to handle rejection, they end up feeling overly sad and upset. You must be careful around such people and don't be afraid to walk away if they start showing inappropriate behavior.
If you don’t feel safe alone with a guy whose advances you’re rejecting, then have someone or even one or two friends there. It will give you some extra sense of comfort and security. The third party's presence will allow you to remain as honest as possible. Keep your conversation short, simple, and polite then answer his questions and leave once you are done.
The display of emotions by the guy you are rejecting can have you questioning yourself. You may wonder if you have made the right decision, or if it’s something you should re-think. While these are normal emotions, you must remain firm.
Don't let him try to cage you by pointing out flaws in your decision, or promising to change and get things right. Stick to your break-up points and let him know that you will not change your mind. Eventually, when he sees that you are not budging, he will accept your decision and move on.
As said earlier, situations like this are uncomfortable, so prepare for it and don't crumble because someone threw a believable pity party.
Another temptation that may come your way when rejecting a guy is giving him false hope. Contrary to what you may think, giving a guy false hope is wrong and unkind. You will only be making things more difficult for both of you. He will keep trying to win you over, and on your part, you would have accomplished nothing because now, you will have to reject him all over again.
No one likes to be the bad guy but dragging a relationship that doesn't serve you can be more hurtful in the long run. So do yourself and the guy you are rejecting a favor by being honest, direct, and firm. Let him understand that you are letting him go, and you do not see a future together.
Many women find it hard to reject certain guys, and that's not because they don’t know what they want, but because the guys are manipulative. These guys will want to look for every possible way to ensure that you do not walk away or give up on the relationship.
Manipulative behavior includes threats, blackmail, fake tears, promises of change, or even a proposal. All these are attempts to stop you from leaving them. Therefore, you must keep an eye out for guys who demonstrate behaviors like this. Do not be swayed by their promises or phantom futures. That's why you should make sure you are at peace with your decision and its consequences.
While it may seem challenging to discuss rejection, it can always end on a good note if you do it the right way. Let the dude know that he is a good person, but he is not the one for you. One day, he will meet someone who is a perfect match for him.
If he is your friend, you can tell him that you would like to remain friends. However, be prepared for things to be uncomfortable for a while before returning to normal.
As a people pleaser, the inherent thought of rejecting someone can feel like a burden. However, you can be nice about it by doing it in person, focusing on the issue, and why you can't be with them. Be honest and polite in your approach as well.
Don't take too long to make the decision and do it in person. Give him room to vent and, most importantly, be prepared to lose his friendship. While I cannot assure you that you will not hurt the person you are rejecting by following these steps, it will, however, ease the blow.
Each guy's reaction to rejection differs, and factors that could influence this reaction include how invested they are in the relationship. A deeply invested party will likely feel hurt, while a guy who was beginning to know you might accept it as part of life and move on quickly.
Sometimes, the feeling of rejection is more psychological than real. We think that someone is not with us because of our flaws when, in reality, it has nothing to do with us. You can stop feeling rejected by altering your thinking and boosting your self-confidence.
If you notice a male friend is trying to get out of the friend zone, and you are not okay with that, don't wait too long to address it. Let him know from the jump that you are okay with having him as your friend and nothing more. Highlight the positives of your friendship and explain why you feel pushing any further will ruin your friendship.
While you don’t owe anyone an explanation regarding your life decisions, taking time to explain why you have rejected a guy will help ease the process and make him accept your choice. I hope you enjoyed reading this list; if yes, don't forget to share and leave a comment below.