There comes a time in most movies where for instance, a guy who has been in a long friendship with a girl tells and confesses his love for her. The girl is listening with a compassionate-like expression on her face. Then the guy (thinking it is a sign to go on), pours out his feelings for her and finally asks her to be his lady love.
What happens next is heart-wrenching as the girl suddenly bursts into laughter. In her mind, the guy is putting up an act, as to whether it is real or not. She barely considers that because she has put the guy in a zone called the friend zone. This scene is quite common in a number of movies because it happens in reality.
And when she finally realizes he means true, she puts up a front and entirely denies it, because how can he ever like someone like her?
The art they say mirrors reality. So this is a very common experience. It is, therefore, quite unfortunate if you happen to be in this zone. So I think it is a valid question to ask yourself, "Am I friendzoned?", especially if you happen to notice the following signs explained below.
One way to find out if you are in the friend zone is that they always tell you about their crushes. They always gush out about those qualities they find attractive in that person to you.
It's however very different if they are attracted to you. Everyone knows that you don't go gushing to your crush or someone you have romantic feelings for about how much you love them, well unless in the movies.
There is always room for mystery if a guy/girl likes someone in a romantic way. So you somehow happen to know their crush a lot of times it gets overbearing because they have mentioned it to you severally, well, you have been friend-zoned.
They are just too comfortable with you. For instance, a guy may not feel shy when he meets a woman bare-chested, especially if he's not one to usually go out without a shirt. Or, a lady may just be comfortable seeing you with no makeup on, even though it's taboo for anyone to see her without makeup.
However, you get to enjoy that side of them because they trust you as their friend, where they won't trust any other person to see that side of them. However, you know it's a different story if they were attracted. You would have observed and known that they take extra care with their appearance and behaviors where their crush is involved.
They have pet names for you because you identify as them, even though you are of a different gender. They usually call you "fam", "dude", "bro", "pumpkin" or even " boo" or "bae" though you are definitely not his/her boo or bae in their heads.
The pet names define how they relate to you. There may be times where those pet names are a result of your escapades together as friends.
Whenever they are down, your number is the first one they text. They expect you to come around with their favorite snack and hear them rant and vent about how a particular situation did not go their way. Even worse is when it's about their crush.
They expect words like "You deserve so much better", "You will be fine" while you console and listen to them pour out their sorrows.
They are never shy in your presence. They would never do some things with guys they may want to have sexual relations with. For instance, he/she is never shy about farting around you. It's rather an avenue to have fun and laugh about the situation. He/she wouldn't dare think about that in front of their crush though.
Guys have a way of giving dirty sexy vibes when undressing especially when they are attracted to you. Ladies, on the other hand, may sometimes not want to dress in front of anyone they have romantic intentions for, because they get that feeling, "Am I looking hot enough for him?"
Or, ‘’What if he doesn't like what he is seeing?’’
But because they are friend zoning you, you are the one who gets asked, "Hey, where did I put my boxers?" Or "Hey, kindly help me hook or unhook my bra".
Whenever you are introduced by them to family or other friends, you are introduced as the buddy or dude. So, to his family and friends, You are that tight fam.
When you’re in the friend zone, the other person often sees dates as casual outings and a time to have fun and crack jokes like the friends you are. No matter how romantic you may want the date to be, they have a way of removing that love interest element from the equation. But what is a date without romance?
Even worse is when they bring along another friend or a mutual friend to the event you set up for only you two.
Three, they say, is a crowd, and your purpose is defeated. Perhaps, you want to test the waters to see whether you have been friend zoned? If so, select a typical romantic spot for a date for the both of you, dress according to the event, and invite them over. Their reaction will tell you a lot about whether you are in the friend zone or not.
If they act weird and try to avoid the subject by laughing about it, then you have your answer, or pose a hypothetical question and realize their answer.
Imagine being in a relationship without the defined parameters of one. Well, that's what the friend zone is all about! You two get to do everything together all the time, but you are not in a relationship. So, you have sleepovers, you are each other's plus-ones at events, you go for outings and you are even the first one they call when they need something.
It gives off relationship vibes but don't be fooled, you are like that sister or brother to them, who came as a form of a friend. The funny thing is; sometimes, they flirt with you like a boyfriend or girlfriend. They even make you feel like there's a promise between you two. But mind you, they may be flirting with everyone else.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Of course, you are physically attracted to them, but they are just not attracted to you. And even though you get butterflies in your tummy when they hold your hands, hug you or give you a peck, they are just not attracted to you. They treat you as that little brother or sister, rubbing your hair and patting you on the back or shoulder.
There's just no physical attraction because it's just not there. And because of that friend zone situation, you are in, you hear compliments like "You are adorable" "You are an awesome friend" etc. The language is however different for anyone he/she is physically attracted to.
Your love proposals are so funny to them because, in their minds, you have been placed in that position where you can't move to them. So, if you try to get out of that position, it's unfathomable to them. They usually find ways to ignore you when you say you have feelings for them, or they even joke about it. It's an escape mechanism for them.
Other times, they just turn you down nicely and say they don't want to lose a good friendship. They then tell you that you deserve better or you will find a better person. As soon as they use words like that, it is an obvious sign that you have been friend zoned.
Because of that love you have for them, you are ever ready to satisfy whatever they want, even before your own interests. You would find yourself doing things you practically have no interest in, just so that they can be happy. But they would never put that much effort into you, they usually focus that energy on someone else.
Another sign is that they usually come to you for advice. Because they trust you that much, they tell you everything including who they have their eyes on, at that particular moment in time. So that definitely involves your advice on how to get their crushes to notice them.
You suddenly become their counselor, and they update you on their progress or frustrations every step of the way while you are just there. And when they finally get into a relationship, guess who gets to listen to all the highlights of the relationship including the fun and pain? It's you! At least they may share some gifts with you.
Another sign is that they try to recommend who you should date, because of how they relate to you. To them, you can date everyone, but them. They may even try to set you up on dates with people and try to see that it works, but hey! The heart wants what it wants.
Another sign is everyone sees how much you like them but them. Usually, they may be told, but they never take it seriously or make a joke out of it. Because to them, the only relationship they can have with you is friendship.
If you are friend zoned, you become that friend who, though you are of the opposite gender, they are never shy in your presence. They even dress up when you are around, they tell you about their lives, including who they have their eyes set on, you may plan a romantic date, but it ends up as a friendly outing.
They also set you up on dates, have no physical attraction to you, turn down your proposal in a nice way. Other signs you may even realize in yourself is that you always put these people before yourself and sometimes, your family. Also, everyone knows you are into them but them. All these are obvious signs that you are in the friend zone.
According to a counselor, being friend-zoned may be a sign that you have someone better out there. So, you ought to respect the boundaries of the friendship, be on the lookout for people who may be as you are, and lastly, have hope because there is that one person who may be out there just for you.
One way you can make sure you don't get friendzoned is for you to be mysterious. Also, learn to give them their space, stop being the nice guy if you have to, touch them in a way that makes them know that you may be interested in them physically. Ask them to go on dates with you, stop pretending to be their boyfriend or girlfriend.
It can be very difficult to escape the friend zone, it is not entirely impossible.
Everyone knows that proposing is a risk to the ego. You get accepted, you walk away with the prize, you get rejected, your ego gets deflated. Maybe that is the reason why guys are so afraid to come clean with their feelings.
Women friend zone men because sometimes, guys are not very confident to approach ladies about how they feel because they think they might be rejected. So girls friendzone men because that's where there is room.
In the nutshell, I hope you have realized the signs which should tell you whether you are in the friend zone or not. If you are, it's not that bad, have hope and try to make your intentions known.
If not, you still have a chance, you better go for him or her while they are in the process of friend zoning you. Above all, remember that you deserve the best things in love too.
I hope you enjoyed this article, let me know what you think in the comments and share it with someone else in the same situation.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!