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How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

by Sonya Schwartz

One of the most frustrating aspects of dating is when you starting out dating one person and really like them - only for them to put you firmly in the friend zone. Or, it could be that you find someone really attractive that has been part of your friendship circle for a long time, and you really want them to be more than that. 

Here, in our guide to how to get out of the friend zone, we give you some excellent tips on how to escape the friend zone so that you can get the attention of the men and women you want to be with, in a romantic relationship. Get ready to leave the friend zone far behind. 

17 Ways To Leave The Friend Zone

It is up to you how many of the below tips you employ to get the attention of a person who has put you into the friend zone. However, when learning how to get out of the friend zone, it may be most prudent to just try one or two or a handful of the below ideas first. 

Doing them all at once may eventually get you what you want, but making such life-changing changes all at once can put a lot of pressure on you. It may help you get what you want simply to adopt one or two changes first so that your guy friend or girlfriend wants to take things to the next level with you, so you escape the friend zone once and for all. 

1. Tell them you like them

This tip takes the most guts, but if you want to get out of the friend zone quickly, it can be really effective simply telling the guy or girl you like, that you do like them in more ways than just friendship. It can be so easy not to say anything about your feelings, but your relationship may get stuck in the friend zone if you don’t say a thing. 

2. Start seeing other people

Start seeing other people

If speaking up about your feelings is not the way you want to go with escaping the friend zone, it can be helpful to see other women or guys. It may sound a little counterintuitive to start seeing other people when you want a relationship with one particular girl or guy. However, your friend who you want the attention of may start seeing you in other ways if they see you dating other guys or women. 

3. Ask their friends if they like you

If you are part of the same circle of friends, it can be helpful to ask your mutual friends if they think the person your crushing on likes you. They may not tell you what you want to hear, but it can sometimes be helpful if you want to know one way or another if there is any chance of leaving the friend zone.

4. Play hard to get

The next time you see the person you want as a partner, it can be really helpful to play hard to get. If you make yourself too available and are consistently jumping every time they ask you to, they will most likely not feel those first seeds of attraction. Playing hard to get and not being available to a person, can actually encourage them to see you in new ways. 

5. Make them jealous

Leaving the friend zone can often be achieved by jolting the person you love into action. Making them jealous is one such way that you can encourage guys or women into seeing you in a new way. To make them jealous, not only start dating other people but start parading your new love interest in front of your crush. 

6. Amend your body language

We often don’t help ourselves very much if we are in the friend zone. The reason being is that once there, our crush may not ever think of us in a romantic way, due to the type of interactions you have and how. Bearing that in mind, start altering your body language when you're together. Start touching him or her at any given opportunity or flirting with them so that they see you in a new light. 

7. Focus on yourself

When we are crushing on one of our friends, it can be very easy to feel down on ourselves when our more love-type feelings are not reciprocated. As a result, it can be helpful to look forward and try a little self-improvement instead. Focusing on yourself will help promote a better you, which will be far more attractive to your friend as a consequence. 

8. Don’t message them as much

A key way that you can play hard to get and differentiate yourself away from the friend zone is not to message your crush so much. Being so consistently available and in contact with them will make it difficult to leave the friend zone. Instead, you want them to want more from you. By messaging them all the time, you can’t create that want. 

9. Make sure what you say isn’t misunderstood

Sometimes we think that just because we have a new love interest in our sights, even when it is a friend, that we are clearly showing we are interested. Take an objective view of your conversations and interactions with one another - can they be misinterpreted? Does your potential love interest actually know you are into them? Be sure what you are saying or doing does not leave room for being misunderstood.

10. Ensure you’re actually right for each other

Ensure you’re actually right for each other

Every so often, we set our hearts on a person without really taking into account whether that person is really suitable for us in the first place. While attraction can be strong, in practice, a relationship may not be a happy or strong one between two people. Ensure, before you make your moe, that you are actually right for your friend. 

11. Don’t agree with everything they say

Agreeing with everything that a person we are attracted to says, can be very tempting and almost a knee-jerk reaction for many of us. 

However, if you are trying to move out of the friend zone, it can be beneficial not to agree with everything your crush says. By providing new and different opinions, they will start to see you differently, and hopefully, a shift in your friend’s status quo will occur. 

12. Have your own hobbies

One thing that people often find attractive is when a person has lots of different interests and hobbies - especially if they are not standard hobbies. 

By having your own hobbies that are different from your crush’s you are again setting yourself apart and creating intrigue about your character. It will give them something to talk to you about too which they will enjoy doing. Increasing conversation, and a conversation where you can really shine, is a good way of starting to move out of a friend zone. 

13. Don’t put too much pressure on them

You can often idolize a crush, and when they are a friend, it can be even more so the case. The result is that you put a lot of pressure on them to make you happy. You set an impossibly high standard as a consequence and when that cannot ever be achieved. Your friend will pick up on this pressure and it will put them off even thinking about you in a different way than just friends. 

14. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself

When you’re with a crush, it can be very difficult not to be acutely aware of how you are acting in front of them. You start to analyze everything you are doing and you will often pick out what you perceive as the bad things you have done as a result. 

Doing so puts a huge amount of pressure on yourself to perform and be the best you at all times when your crush is around. This pressure then starts off a vicious cycle where you are unable to relax and be yourself - and you thus come across as a lesser version of your character. 

15. Have self-belief

In addition to not putting too much pressure on yourself, you also need to have a lot of self-belief and self-confidence when you are around your crush. Believe that you are an attractive person that your crush would be lucky to have as a partner. Doing so will subtly change your behavior around your crush and they should start to see you as someone other than a friend. Self-belief is one of the best tools you can arm yourself with. 

16. See how things go

In addition to not putting pressure on you or your crush, do try to go with the flow a little. You can’t force a person to feel things they don’t feel. Despite your best efforts, therefore, it could be that your crush will never see you in a romantic way. Try to take every day as it comes so that you alleviate that pressure even more. Again, that will help you to be yourself and your most attractive. 

17. Have other friends

If you are crushing on a friend of yours within a tight friendship group, it can be quite a pressurized environment to be in. Instead, it can be helpful to have other friends so that you can both have time out from one another. You won’t take each other for granted in that way and your crush may even start to miss you, and therefore start reciprocating your feelings. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

FAQs

Can I ever get out of the friend zone?

When a guy or girl is friend-zoning you, it can be difficult to get out of that position. However, it can be done if you focus on ensuring you are confident in yourself and your own attractiveness. It will take the pressure off your feelings towards the person you are crushing on. 

How do you get out of the friend zone with a guy?

Getting out of the friend zone with a guy is all about knowing how to love yourself and also not putting all the pressure on the idea of a relationship with him. Doing so means that you are not going to act yourself around him in so many ways. He won’t see the best of you. 

How do you tell if you've been friend-zoned?

If a person starts talking to you about their relationship problems or about any crushes that they have, they are most likely not thinking about you in a romantic way. It is therefore more probable that you have been friend-zoned and need to either move on or proclaim your feelings. 

How do you turn a friend into a boyfriend?

Turning a friend into more is difficult because your friend may not see you in a romantic way. To have a romantic relationship with them, you need to get them to start seeing you in a romantic way. That means getting them to see you as an attractive proposition in any way you can. 

What to do if he friend-zoned you?

Being friend-zoned isn’t the nicest of feelings - particularly if you started off your relationship thinking you were sparking. You need to think if you want to keep going with your relationship - either as a friend or if you do want something more. 

How To Get Out Of The Friendzone - Key Takeaways

Leaving the friend zone is difficult, but not impossible. You need to have a lot of patience and try to subtly change the dynamics of your relationship with your crush. Your crush needs to start to see you in a different light, especially if you are not willing to confess your feelings directly. Instead, they need to start feeling physically and mentally attracted to you. 

Try to ensure that still have fun with your friend, but that you are not always too easily available to them. The old adage ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is very true for a reason. It may sound odd but, ultimately, spending less time with your crush may help you start a relationship with them. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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